Probably a cheating?

[seekerJ]

Hi everyone..
First time starting a thread and pardon me if I have any mistake.

I found out my gf been out with a guy alone and he send her from work to Sentosa beach for dinner and send her back home.
She totally lie to me that she having OT but actually with someone else.
I'm able to caught her when she left the guy car at her place. I was waiting for her there and there's no one else in the car but the guy. There's a good 3 minutes she was in there while the car is stationary.

I confronted her and she mention he's just a close friend and she don't want me to know she out with him becoz she do not want me to think other wise. Their meet up is seeking his advice about work and relationship problems.

I found out from her this is not the first time they have met and the guy is married and his wife may not know about it. I never hear of this guy during our rs for the last 5 years.

Many things running on my mind that should I buy her explaination because never in my mind she will do this.

Guys from above situation as a 3rd party what do you think?
All above are facts that i confirm and no added emotion on it.

Thank you all for reading and maybe advice or comment that follow..

[maxsee]

Leave her if she is really cheating on u....dun waste ur time for revenge or asking for reconcilation whatever....u deserves better....

[fictionman]

She's cheating on you

[sammyboyfor]

Even if she did not have sex with the guy her heart is not with you anymore. We've all been through this at some point in our lives.

Time to move on. Easy to say but of course hard to do. It's all about will power.

The first time it happened to me I tried to reconnect but after a while I knew the relationship was over and I'd wasted months in the process.

Once this sort of thing happens the trust is gone and every time she tells you she's busy you won't believe her anymore.

Make a clean break and start over with someone else. It will save you the anguish of continuing the relationship when it has already been damaged beyond repair.

[seekerJ]

Thanks @Maxsee for your advice as I'm really 80% sure she cheating on me but i just really can't accept it as my purest & righteous gf (in my mind) will do such things. I know I deserve better as herself put in my shoes, she will not take it at all as she also been cheated b4. That's y I nv tot she will do it & know feeling of been cheated.

Haha thanks @Fictionman nothing as more clear cut

I'm honor our Sam bro will see my thread and actually share your exp and advice to me. Really give me a very insight what I can expect later as I feel the same as you. I agree having sex or not, just a simple kiss or holding hand is already enough. Her heart really not 100% on me. Btw I just propose to her last dec and still this can happen. And unfortunately or fortunately caught red handed by me.

Just one more question:
me n my gf don have sex frequently due to her health issue which I understand. I do go Geylang n release my urgh but feel guilty about it. In a way I oso lie n cheat on her physically. Maybe I'm no much better. But I told myself no more after my proposal and just PCC. Actually she oso don like I PCC on porn, it's like mentally I fucking the girl (roll eyes).
It's like diff kind of cheating as mentally and physically.
What's your guys view? I'm open to all honest view and criticism.
If I told her my truth will she forgive me and still love me as it is?

Really thanks all of your concerns. Appreciate it.

I don know there will be people will view Matter at Hearts haha.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

If I told her my truth will she forgive me and still love me as it is?

NEVER... EVER tell your loved one that you visit prostitutes.... not this one, not future ones.... not the one you marry... NONE!

It will cause the end of 99.9% of all relationships. Even if you've been in a perfect marriage for years and you were never unfaithful during the relationship revealing your past activities with a prostitute could cause major upheaval.

Women will never understand or accept that their man visited whores for sexual gratification even if it occurred before the two of you met.

[sex crusader]

天崖何处无芳草，何必为了一根草！:d

[seekerJ]

Thanks Sam bro.. you have answer my concern..

[randyrockhard]

Always keep in mind that women are like monkeys. They would only let go of the branch they're holding onto, after they managed to grab to a new branch.

A woman is also very capable of saying things that they think you want to hear.

However, action is always louder than words. If her actions are contradictory to her words, then you know what the actual truth is.

I called out on my ex-gf lies once, when I asked her if she was happy with me. She dared to say "I wouldn't remain with you unless I'm happy". And I said to her "You said you are happy, but I don't see your happy face when you're with me. Where is your so-called happiness of being with me? Because I certainly don't feel it"

My words seemed to have hit her enough to shame her into breaking up with me.

[seekerJ]

@randyrockhard thanks bro for your sharing and I do agree with you. Even though I think she's different with any other girls I have seen. But woman still is woman that wat they say and what they do are diff. They need attention and no attention from you, she will seek other source of attention or accept attention that other guys giving her.
She really capable saying things like still love you and miss you but still y meet a guy behind my back. Btw she nv say she love me or miss me for the last good 3 months. After I found out the affair, she started say things like that. Afraid of losing me or saving herself from the mess she created?

[Kuan Aik Hong]

Dont waste your time on her....move on.

[Mountain]

Bro, she's certainly feeling guilty in a sense she might be having an affair with the guy behind your back. Trust your instinct, only you can judge whether she is cheating behind you or a misunderstanding. Talk to her but to be honest, I feel that she is scare of losing you as it may seem. Well, of course for the intimacy most probably she would deny any facts with the guy, a smart woman wouldn't want his man to know anything more than that. Probably her lust and attention from other guys. You gotta work on it bro.

[abcbear]

Never believe what a women says, they have a special ability to avoid guilt feelings and inability to take responsibility....in the end, even if you have busted her for cheating on you....the fault in their mind will always be on you. They simply have a strong sense of denial, coupled with the married guy sweet talking and and poisoning her...girls like her definitely won't stand a chance on the temptation...if not, she won't even agreed to go out alone with the guy to sentosa for dinner in the first place...trust me on this bro

walk away and find a better one...you are lucky before married, I have married my ex-wife for 5 years...and work like a dog in SG to fulfill all her materialistic needs...after a divorce, it really opened my eyes on what kind of women that can be settled down with...some are just for fucking, keep it that way

[nutman38]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

NEVER... EVER tell your loved one that you visit prostitutes.... not this one, not future ones.... not the one you marry... NONE!

It will cause the end of 99.9% of all relationships. Even if you've been in a perfect marriage for years and you were never unfaithful during the relationship revealing your past activities with a prostitute could cause major upheaval.

Women will never understand or accept that their man visited whores for sexual gratification even if it occurred before the two of you met.

Once, a prostitute ( a regular who I like very much - Visited her more than 20 times) asked me if I ever go visit other prostitute.
And I stupidly reply Yes.
My explanation was when she is not working. ( Usually period off 8 days! )
I thought she will understand as I do not want to lie to her.
After that, she kind of ignore me and delete me from her wechat!

What kind of logic is that?
She can have so many different men in 1 day but I cannot go find?
Her explanation was she is working, no choice!

So please listen to big boss and never ever tells your loved one that you visit prostitutes!!!!! NEVER!!!!

[Mountain]

Originally Posted by nutman38

Once, a prostitute ( a regular who I like very much - Visited her more than 20 times) asked me if I ever go visit other prostitute.
And I stupidly reply Yes.
My explanation was when she is not working. ( Usually period off 8 days! )
I thought she will understand as I do not want to lie to her.
After that, she kind of ignore me and delete me from her wechat!

What kind of logic is that?
She can have so many different men in 1 day but I cannot go find?
Her explanation was she is working, no choice!

So please listen to big boss and never ever tells your loved one that you visit prostitutes!!!!! NEVER!!!!

It is like digging your own coffin..