Heart broken....

[jayson]

Hi,

To begin with my little story, just a note that i am no angel and in fact am quite a bastard, guess what is happening to me is retribution. But if someone here has the same experience please share with me the course of action.

I am working overseas and my family is back home. I have my share of affairs and some were 'no-strings' attached arrangements. I never fail to inform the ladies that i am married and if all signals are a go, i will proceed. (at least i dont lie). That was 5 yrs back, and i stop all my affairs as i needed to concentrate on my work due the economy slowing down. I became a nice guy and no longer branded a 'playboy' but to be honest i was really not a playboy, cos i am not rich nor do i have more than 1 girlfriend at one time nor do i toy with their feelings. I think the reason why most married man has an affair, is not so much about lust, but the fact that we like to pamper girls and the reason why we do so is to see them happy. Likewise, men likes to be pampered at times. Sad to say most wife dont pamper their man, (at least mine wont) thus men are some how force to look for this feeling elsewhere.

Last year a girl caught my attention during an event, (let;s call her S). S is a young girl and innocent looking. Later did i found out that she was someone else mistress but have already broken off when i met her. These sort of women in my humble opinion, is easy and no-strings attached type and suit me quite well, so i thought.

After some exciting but usual courting, i got her as my gf. all when well, until she constantly demanded me for money and attention. She is nice and all, but when i know her, she was unemployed, even at 26. This is b'cos she was used to men looking after her and spoiling her. After a few rounds of argument, we broke off. she was sad and i had to really ignore her totally before everything came to a stand still. (about 1month)

Soon after i met another lady, (lets call her N) she was a close friend of S (my ex) and obviously she knew abt me and S history. Most of S's friends think that i was not in the wrong, despite the fact i am married.

Anyway, cut the story short, I was with N soon after and it was about 6 months after i broke off with S. N is a matured lady (she too was once a married man's gf not keep) and it is fun to chat with her. I enjoy her company cos she was not only matured but has many life experiences to share.

I admired almost everything about her, how she handle matters, how she manage her staff last time (she just switched jobs) and etc. The best thing was that we are able to share our ambitions and ideals together. Having a beer with her and chatting with her is one of the most enjoyable memories in my life.

She was a divorcee with 2 kids, thus she works really hard to meets end needs. But when we first started the love was very passionate. I remember the good night kisses would last more than half an hour each time and both of us would be reluctant to break away.

We were together for 5 months and she suddenly ignore me and distant herself away from me. when i asked her why that was the case and if i had done anything to piss her off. She just explained that it was a bad timing for her to be in a relationship due to her unpredictable work schedule. And that S (my ex, her friend) still have much feelings for me, thus she dont want to lose her friends over me and etc..... but we still can be friends and enjoy drinks together etc (a nice way to break off lah i think)

Normally i am fine by it, as there wont be any future between me and the girls here, and i always respect their decisions and would still treat them nicely. (girls are mended to be pamper, my theory) Somehow i could feel that she still has got feelings for me....

Somehow, i did not know where i went wrong and has been very down ever since the break off. Took a test and i was suffering from depression, mainly over this issue. I am piss off that i cannot focus and sad that she took our relationship so lightly.

Logically speaking i know most people out there would tell me off cos i am married and committing affairs are wrong. And obviously, i cannot be telling my sadness to my friends and family. But what would be the best way to snap out of it? Foolishly, i still think that she likes me, but was stress over her new job and her pressured from her social circle. But i need to find a way to get myself together and forget about this relationship which lasted only 5 months, the best 5 months i ever had.

[Tai_zi21]

I think u r thinking too much! u think that she still like u? ok so wat if she still like u? are u going to break ur family be cos of her? r u able to commit to her? so even she love u,wat does that mean anyway?

as wat i always mention the only 1 who can help u is urself only! if u still keep thinking abt her wan her to come back to u! prob i think u r of no more help

Cheers just my 0.01 cent of view

[hamsapkwai]

Angmoh kia will say to you " What goes around comes around"

Tung Nang kia will say to you "拿的起放的下"

[jj_jj]

Originally Posted by Tai_zi21

are u going to break ur family be cos of her? r u able to commit to her?
as wat i always mention the only 1 who can help u is urself only!

Can't agree more.
All along you do NSA then now you think you are in love?
Even if you are ready to give up on your family, will she accept you?
Think you just need to find another NSA target and all will be good for you

[ahTan]

Hi TS

The fact that you already have a family suggest you need to choose among her and family. It is not easy to forget her, and not easy to manage the multiple relationship. For the time mean, keep yourself busy with work and hobby to avoid think of her.

[jayson]

Hi

U know what u all r saying are all true. Like I said I m angry that I cannot get over her. Meaning I want to let her go but don't know how only. But ok everyone entitled to their own views I respect that. Thank you.

[WuJiaOyster]

Originally Posted by jayson

Hi

U know what u all r saying are all true. Like I said I m angry that I cannot get over her. Meaning I want to let her go but don't know how only. But ok everyone entitled to their own views I respect that. Thank you.

remove ur feelings about the relationship and look at it from an observer's point of view : what are her flaws, what are her winning points, why would you like her, what ifs, etc. then maybe you might have an idea of what you want rather than ask us for help, since, like what the others have said, only you can help yourself.

[Big Sexy]

mate.. it is time to spare a thought for your innocent wife.
you had the most wondering 5 months of your life..
time to move on and go back home..
your missus is the one who deserve your pamper
if you still want to fool around , then do the best thing and divorce her..

Originally Posted by jayson

Hi,
the best 5 months i ever had.

[see see only]

Hahahaha ... since you posted a long sincere post .... hehehe let me try a long reply as wellllllll ......

Like most ppl say .... life is a journey … TS


Imagine life as taking MRT from Joo Koon station (start) to Pasir Ris station (end) … of cos your intended destination may be Pasir Ris station, but due to many factors you may end your journey at Bedok station instead (died prematurely ) or ended up change your mind to go to Changi Airport instead…. Or whatever......

However along the way, you found someone who is willing to travel with you to your destination. Sitting on your left (your wife), you guys enjoy each other company but maybe she felt asleep during this long journey and you felt lonely again.

Then at a certain station, another person (your mistress) sat on your right and start talking with you … both of you enjoy each other again with “your wife” sleeping by the side or maybe even wide awake jealous of the other.

But this lady on the right, is heading to Punggol. Due to your present, she decided to alight at Outram Park to change train to Punggol instead of Buona Vista. But she knew you are going to Pasir Ris station, not her intended destination. She may decide which interchange to alight that do not affect her journey much.

In another word, unless you decided to change your destination to go Punggol with her, the most you can keep her is up to Paya Lebar interchange before she "alights the train" from your life.

But if that's the case, changing train for her at Paya Lebar interchange instead, you are affecting her intended journey with the need to change more trains.

Therefore bro TS, let her go for her sake. She may even miss the opportunity to meet someone real nice going toward her intended destination.


Passengers come and go ... you can change your destination along the way to join her but to affect her journey or even yours ....... dont sound right.

[Ray8588]

bro SSO,

CLAPS to your joo koon to pasir ris and even midway bedok theory.....

[wally888]

If got train disruption along the way TS will be lagi happier coz he can spend more time with the lady on the right, maybe lady in front oso can

[kenstud27]

Hi TS

I was in a similar situation as you. Married at the time when the affair happened but only difference was that she broke up with me to be with another guy.

I knew what i was getting myself into and she understood that too. I even told her that if she ever meet someone, she should go and pursue her happiness because that was something i couldnt give her at that time. But when the broke up happened, i couldnt handle it and also went into depression. Took medication and sleeping pills as i couldnt sleep at all.

Bottomline is, if you are married and want to have affair, then be ready that such things will happen. Funny thing is, if you break up with the gal, you will not feel this way. But when they break up with you, you get what you are feeling now.

Honestly, it will come to a pass, trust me, i have been there.

Take care!

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by jayson

But i need to find a way to get myself together and forget about this relationship which lasted only 5 months, the best 5 months i ever had.

Forget about pussy. Now's the time to build upon your career and finances in order to achieve financial independence before it's too late.

There'll be more than enough time to mess around with women once you've made it in life.

[LonelyOldSoul]

Me
also....

Me got many many PRC affairs...basic of the affair is money...

No money no honey...


I wish I can love again...

[demorns]

Sam has it right, man. Work and network with more people.
and if you have the time, go out and socialize.