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#1
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I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Let me start off by saying that I'm not HIV positive..
Why? Cause I haven't been tested yet. Maybe confessing would help when I go for a test, maybe it won't, idk. What did I use to do? A lot. I used to pick up trans at Changi for BJ and AJ at times. Mostly protected, but there were BBBJ towards the last few exposures. I used to frequent GL FLs, the ones on the streets, unlicensed, unregulated. These exposures were all protected, BJs and FJs. I used also used to go to Orchard Towers HC, BJs and FJs protected. I was stupid. This happened over a span of 3 years. Never went for testing, the thought never crossing my mind. Then all of a sudden, somewhere in Nov 2011, after quitting smoking and cheonging, I felt this sudden surge of fatigue and guilt taking over me. My last exposure was near the end of October, protected if recall correctly. All of a sudden all symptoms appeared, loose stools, sweating more at night, feeling tired more easily, dry mouth. Some of these symptoms are happening up till now. I'm at a loss of what to do. For the past 3 years, I've been stupid and thoughts of infection has never crossed my mind. I never had any "fire" feeling when I urinate, never had any STD symptoms as I know of. But now, I've read that some STDs, don't even show any symptoms. Die, means I also don't know what. What I'm most fearful of is the other 3 big letters. H-I-V. Wow, I'm really at a loss of what to do. In my head, its only, test positive, write all the letters I need to my loved ones, and say bye bye. I doubt got any sammyboys/cheongsters as hardcore as I was without thinking. I think that only I'm in such a predicament and as such, I square the responsibility on my shoulders alone. I am at such a loss of what to do. I want to turn my life around, and the past few months, I have indeed been doing that. But I don't know how to and end up, sitting around doing nothing all day. I feel like leaving it all behind. |
#2
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Since you've pretty much convinced yourself you're positive, why don't you get tested just to confirm it.
If it turns out you're negative, treat it as a bonus. !
__________________
Tips for ALL samsters.
Last edited by sammyboyfor; 03-01-2012 at 10:11 AM. |
#3
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
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#4
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Go for a test of HIV. Maybe result it is negative? why so sad now. Want do don,t fear.........
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#5
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Go for a test of HIV. Maybe result it is negative? why so sad now. Want do don't fear.........
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#6
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Piangz eh! All the symptoms you describe does not point to any specific STD. Maybe it's because you stop smoking? Withdrawal symptoms?
Basically, what I'm saying is, it could be anything (maybe not even smoking withdrawal, I just hamtam only to prove a point) that happened to show up... not necessarily STD or STI. I did a Google of your symptoms and the result was mixed: stress to medication side effects. Worried? Go get yourself checkout. Since you want to turn your life around, suggest you go for full body check up. Get those that include HIV test. I believe they will ask for your consent as part of the process...
__________________
I am not and I don't pretend to be an angel or a guru. I am also dealing with my own flaws, weaknesses and problems. If I share my experiences, thoughts and opinions, it is only in the hope that other Samsters might find some gems in them to help themselves. Status: Trying to retire |
#7
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
you may get STD but unlikely HIV provided you are dam lucky strike TOTO...
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#8
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
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#9
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Your symptoms point to digestive problems (loose stools, lethargy, etc.). Since you said you always engaged in protected sex, you shouldn't be worrying about HIV at all. To feel more assured, I suggest you look up the studies done and posts made by the experts at Medhelp and The Complete HIV/AIDs Resource: The Body. If you do decide to go for a test, knowing the facts will keep you sane for the period before you get that negative result. I believe you are over-freaking yourself out, and this mental drain is contributing to your symptoms.
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#10
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
the symptoms u had described does not related to HIV..but might be other problem... consult your gp and arrange full body check up...not necessary HIV related concern but more to acquire wat happening to our body n health..
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#11
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Bbbj v unlikely to get HIV
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#12
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Like what the boss said is right! To quell all fears and anxiety, go for a check up!
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#13
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
dude,if u hv been smokin 4 more than 20 years n u jus suddenly quit smokin,most probably is e cigi withdrawal symptoms? not 2 scare u,but i hv a frd who hv been smokin 4 more than 30 years n he jus quit suddenly.. he died..
run a health check jus 2 hv a peace of mind dude.. good luck.. |
#14
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
Quote:
btw, any samsters tried this CORE HIV 1+2 test kit before? Care to share experience? Link: http://www.aidstestkit.blogspot.com/...94de1de2bb7c56 |
#15
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Re: I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.
I been smoking since 12 and quit at 31. How many years is that? My last 3or 4 years before I quit was 40 sticks a day (if I no go chiong) Chiong at least 3 - 4 packs.
After quit for 2 years, I put on 20kg, cough out blood and tar. Now I am over weight and at risk of heart attack I suspect. I still have dry mouth and the runs (lao sai) frequently... I don't even fuck around anymore... healthy? I think not.... |
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