commercial sex

[hellobye]

I've been in this forum for awhile already, though i never really contributed to any FR but i am here to say my story which i hope everyone in this forum can think about it. i am not here to gain any sympathy or whatsoever, i am just here to say out what has been bothering me all this years..

I am 20+ this year, i would say pretty young for a chiongster. I got my first taste of commerical sex when i was 16. Yes, 16! It was a phillipino FL that i did it with, occuring somewhere in a hotel in geylang, i still remember it was only $30. Sex was done with condom of course but as i am only 16, getting my first taste of commerical sex, i soon regretted after that. I started to feel ashamed, scared(that i got something out of this), and also disappointed in myself. I can say i came from a good family, my parents are decent people who hope one day i turn out fine with good moral values.

For months that was to come after the incident, i fall into a depression. I witness my body experiencing rashes, fever, triedness, sore throat and body aching. All of which points to the fact that i may have gotten a terrible disease. And remember during that time i was only 16 reaching 17 and i was so afraid to even go for testing, and i have to say at that time i know nothing about annoymous testing or even if i did, i would be too embarrassed to even walk into the clinic.

I cried every night, thinking about my family, the things we used to do when i was still young, my mother, and my father, how hard they worked to raise me up, give me a good education and stuff like that. and here i am believing that i had destroyed myself, their hope, their boy, believing that i walked into a path of no return and that whatever they had done for me had gone to waste because, i most likely wll not even live to the age that i can take care of them.

I was dejected, and thought of taking my own life but i cannot imagine how my parent would have felt if i did. 8 months later, when i went to a local polytechnic, i made some new friends. I looked at them and i see their life is full of hope for the future, some even happily dating and doing something they like in the period i call light years and i looked at myself in the mirror , thinking that it is all over for me. I met this girl that i liked, but i never had the intention to ask her out and i cried looking at her photos because i feel stained, i felt dirty and i felt inferior.


One day i was surfing the internet and i found this clinic call DSC which carried out annoymous testing. I plucked out my courage to go and take the test which i did, the 15mins wait is the longest 15min in my life. my number was called out eventually and i entered the room, i wondered how will i react if it was bad news(which i really thought so) but just at the moment, i saw hope, i saw hope and dreams for my future. The result was negative! I was so elated, i went out the clinic, call out all my friends and ask them out, because i tell myself from then on, i will cherish my life and the people around me...I tell myself no way am i going to get myself into this position anymore..



to be continued..

[Lord_of_Panda]

well gd luck

[naturegreen]

So what test did you go for? HIV? But did you take the test for STD? =X

[刚俊英.]

Good luck.

[eeemen]

what's the essence of your story bro? Bring it on? Cheers ..........

[austin69]

Originally Posted by hellobye

I've been in this forum for awhile already, though i never really contributed to any FR but i am here to say my story which i hope everyone in this forum can think about it. i am not here to gain any sympathy or whatsoever, i am just here to say out what has been bothering me all this years..

I am 20+ this year, i would say pretty young for a chiongster. I got my first taste of commerical sex when i was 16. Yes, 16! It was a phillipino FL that i did it with, occuring somewhere in a hotel in geylang, i still remember it was only $30. Sex was done with condom of course but as i am only 16, getting my first taste of commerical sex, i soon regretted after that. I started to feel ashamed, scared(that i got something out of this), and also disappointed in myself. I can say i came from a good family, my parents are decent people who hope one day i turn out fine with good moral values.

For months that was to come after the incident, i fall into a depression. I witness my body experiencing rashes, fever, triedness, sore throat and body aching. All of which points to the fact that i may have gotten a terrible disease. And remember during that time i was only 16 reaching 17 and i was so afraid to even go for testing, and i have to say at that time i know nothing about annoymous testing or even if i did, i would be too embarrassed to even walk into the clinic.

I cried every night, thinking about my family, the things we used to do when i was still young, my mother, and my father, how hard they worked to raise me up, give me a good education and stuff like that. and here i am believing that i had destroyed myself, their hope, their boy, believing that i walked into a path of no return and that whatever they had done for me had gone to waste because, i most likely wll not even live to the age that i can take care of them.

I was dejected, and thought of taking my own life but i cannot imagine how my parent would have felt if i did. 8 months later, when i went to a local polytechnic, i made some new friends. I looked at them and i see their life is full of hope for the future, some even happily dating and doing something they like in the period i call light years and i looked at myself in the mirror , thinking that it is all over for me. I met this girl that i liked, but i never had the intention to ask her out and i cried looking at her photos because i feel stained, i felt dirty and i felt inferior.


One day i was surfing the internet and i found this clinic call DSC which carried out annoymous testing. I plucked out my courage to go and take the test which i did, the 15mins wait is the longest 15min in my life. my number was called out eventually and i entered the room, i wondered how will i react if it was bad news(which i really thought so) but just at the moment, i saw hope, i saw hope and dreams for my future. The result was negative! I was so elated, i went out the clinic, call out all my friends and ask them out, because i tell myself from then on, i will cherish my life and the people around me...I tell myself no way am i going to get myself into this position anymore..



to be continued..

Hmmm...reading what you have to say, you seem so remorseful of what you did. As if having commercial sex is a very, very bad thing.

Then my friend, you do not deserve to be called a chiongster. Sorry Bro, but having tried once and being remorseful and "bothered" by it? What is that?

A chiongster is some one who enjoys the deed! And goes on to do so. Well, I am not encouraging you, rather I support your move, to turn away. It is your decision Bro, must respect. As for me, life is short, might as well get the most out of it.

All the best Bro. Good luck.

I thank you.