Wax On, Wax Off

[AEQ69]

Hi folks,

I admit that it's an unusual topic, but I thought I'd share anyhow. Somehow, I believe that someone in this forum may appreciate the idea. If you like the writing, I'll be encouraged to write some more, maybe send the piece in to a magazine.
Anyhow, what follows is a true story and I hope you have a laugh, even if at my expense!

To start things off I do admit to having taken the trusty Gillette to the privates, and trimmed excess hairs in order to…well, feel that ‘cleanliness’ I’ve heard spoken of. And, yes, it does feel cleaner and, dare I say, sexier. But the itching and the scratching as the hair grows back, is well, a real pisser.

So, when the topic was raised during a recent lunch break with my co-workers (don’t even ask me how we got into it, it's a long story for another day) the idea was not so far-fetched from my point of view. What was far-fetched was allowing a guy to lather very hot wax on my genitals and with sadistic glee, yank it off with strips of cloth-paper. Because, frankly, only a sadist would sign up for such a job, right? On the other hand, a masochist would be an ideal client, but being neither, I was anyhow curious. It seems it's getting more popular every day for men do get a "brazilian" or "boyzilian" as they're sometimes called. Anyhow, I wanted to impress my wife and eventual casual GF's...so....I accepted the dare and booked an appointment at a reputable establishment.

I consulted my wife in the hope that she might explain about the procedure, but she simply sniggered and said: go right ahead, but it hurts like a bitch. No sympathy there. Any my co-workers did everything possible to increase my fear to levels of panic.

Off I went to my appointment and apprehensively filled in the form. At least the place caters to men, not just women, and I was taken into a private room and told to remove the pants and underwear. A young man, gay but not uncomfortably so, explained what was going to happen, and proceeded with professional detachment to apply shockingly hot wax over the hairiest parts of my 'bikini' area.

The first strip came off and HOLY SHIT I was not expecting that! My body clenched in pain, and I practically farted out of involuntary exertion! He was seasoned it seemed, and impervious to the pain he was causing. The wax, let me tell you, is hot, especially when applied to recently waxed areas, very fucking hot. Strip after strip came off and with sweat forming on my brow, I remarked what a good idea it was that the speakers were set on full volume blasting house-funk music. Yelps of pain were readily drowned out. The pain, the real pain, was the testicles and the part that goes from testicles towards anus and the regions in that proximity. With some glimmer of evil twinkling in his eyes he then showed me the strips containing all the hair yanked off my body – I could have knitted a sweater with it. Then came the part he called ‘the crack’, or in other words, your ass and anus. This was not as painful as imagined, but it was …odd …to have hot wax smeared over that particular orifice. Perched atop a bench with my bum exposed in flagrante, was a vulnerable position to be in, and all I could think of was the very funny line from Chevy Chase in the movie Fletch:” Whoa, ever serve time, doc?” Laughing helps remove the shock I am told.

Thus, after 30 minutes of intense ripping, tearing, pulling and what felt like being skinned alive, I was now liberated of my pubic growth. Then he went after stray hairs equipped with tweezers, which quite frankly was even more disconcerting. I mean, hot wax is one thing, but sharp metal objects are another. With robotic precision he attacked the sensitive parts with staccato speed, like a sewing machine and I felt my balls involuntarily contract which prompted me to inquire whether he was an interrogator in a Saudi prison in a previous life. Anyhow, when all was done, a lotion was applied and that was it. He left the room, and I had the strange sensation of feeling completely bald and smooth in a place unaccustomed to such feeling. The pain disappears as quickly as it starts and I feel nothing of it now. Of course, I may still be quite numb and the shock will settle in later.

Truthfully? I guess the next few days will tell if this procedure really makes a difference to my sex life or not. I guess I will have to see my wife's reaction and hope for the best. But for now I am feeling smoother and yes, cleaner. And as I walked back into the office, I can’t help but grin at the fact that I have a secret, and I guess that makes one feel, empowered perhaps, or even sexier. Who knows?

Should you ever decide to try it, just make sure to wear loose pants that day and don't get on a motorcycle!

Yours in liberation,
AEQ69

[talismann]

Yo bro, kowtow to your courage...it sounds bloody painful. I once went clean with a shaver and thought the smooth skin reminded me of a kid's groin area. Don't think will do it again. Do you think you'll get weird looks at the men's changing room when you strut around commando? I am very conscious about that too...

As an aside, I thought you were referring to Charlie Wax's punch line in From Paris With Love. But this is my favourite.

[VanGogh]

thanks for sharing