is this cheating?

[Lestat69]

got gf/wife but go to massage palour and got handjob. no sex or bj.

your comment?

[_AXL_]

it depends on:

1. whose perspective. from your wife's point of view, even thinking about handjob from another woman is cheating.

2. whether u have any conscience and whether u practise cognitive dissonance well.

but whatever u do, dont tell your wife about it!!!

[NewandLost]

Originally Posted by Lestat69

got gf/wife but go to massage palour and got handjob. no sex or bj.

your comment?

rule of thumb. if you have to hide the factual details from your wife, its cheating. if you told your wife you got your dick whacked off by a masusse, she would say its fine? no problem, go again tommorow? or would you be sleeping on the couch at best and served with divorce papers at worse? think with your top head not your bottom one.

[colins]

Consider these 2 person. One of these kids is doing the wrong thing...one of these kids ain't doing it right...

Bro A leads a clean life, one day he goes to lorong 8 for tim sum supper. A PRC FL sits down close to him and before he can say no to the FL, his sister-in-law sees them, approaches him and accuses him of adultery. She calls her sister, his wife, who then makes her way down as her sister holds him in sedia position.

Bro B sits next to his table, satisfied after one round with the same PRC FL. He watches with amusement. After waiting for the whole episode to blow over, he leaves to his car and proceed to fetch his wife from her late night mahjong session. A loving husband and an equally appreciative wife.

The concept of cheating lies in the matter of perception. You walked into the massage parlour and came out after 30 minutes. Who the fuck knows if you went for handjob, blowjob, fuckjob or assjob? If you think you cheated, then you cheated la. But I reckon the case now is that you want everybody (who have gone for a complete set of service before) to tell you that you are not cheating. Like to say, see I am less bad as you cos I only ask for handjob ok.

Come on la. I can tell you that you are good guy, everybody can tell you that too. But if your wife appear at the exit of the massage parlour, even god cannot convince her that its only a handjob. hahaha....

Get real man. Wanna cheat, cheat. Dun cheat already come and ask, I din cheat with a handjob, only fuckjob is cheat kinda bullcrap. You paid for a sexual service, you walked into a place providing such services and engaged a girl for the service. Hell even if you get her to clean your ears, it is also a service. If you wanna be strict, even walking in with money can prove you have the intention to engage some form of service.

So my conclusion is, if your gf/wife says you cheat, and if you cannot defend yourself, means you cheated la. Who the fuck knows what she classifies as cheating? Maybe you should just ask her yourself.

[Snuber]

Bro colins,

You've just given a very satisfactory answer to his question! Same as my tots!

[colins]

Originally Posted by Snuber

Bro colins,

You've just given a very satisfactory answer to his question! Same as my tots!

Ah...certainly hope he feels the same way too!

[mike1304k]

Originally Posted by colins

So my conclusion is, if your gf/wife says you cheat, and if you cannot defend yourself, means you cheated la. Who the fuck knows what she classifies as cheating? Maybe you should just ask her yourself.

I have another example... A guy who fucks WL or FL but he says that he did not come... He cannot come when it is not love. Is this then cheating? I fully agree wif Bro Collin's statement. It is how you think of the act itself and how you justify it. If you think that you got a HJ or BJ or even a wink from a massage therapist as a "no no", then you are cheating. If not, then why plagued yourself with guilty thoughts? It will make it worse for u to face your loved one.

For me, my wife knows I constantly go for massages. She knows I get back aches and so she wants me to get the pain treated. Sometimes the massuer offers special... and it depends on my mood. rarely an FJ, sometimes HJ wif autoroam and more likely just sleep it off and then once done, pay up and walk out. Even if massuer gives me black face. If you want to go for a fuck, then of course you are in the wrong... But if it happens, then whoppee... But I will not tell my wife wat I did nor do I think she wants to know. I will not RTF specially for the massuer too, so no harm done mah.

[bangbangben]

'Cheating' is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others.[1] Cheating implies the breaking of rules. The term "cheating" is less applicable to the breaking of laws, as illegal activities are referred to by specific legal terminology such as fraud or corruption. Cheating is a primordial economic act: getting more for less, often used when referring to marital infidelity. A person who is guilty of cheating is generally referred to as a cheat (Br. English), or a cheater (Am. English).

With regard to human relationships, couples tend to expect sexual monogamy of each other. If so, then cheating commonly refers to forms of infidelity, particularly adultery.[5] However, there are other divisions of infidelity, which may be emotional. Cheating by thinking of, touching and talking with someone you are attracted to may be equally damaging to one of the parties. Emotional cheating may be correlated to that of emotional abuse, which to date is treated as seriously in a court of law as physical cheating. With the expansion of understanding of other cultures, there is a wide spectrum of what cheating means. When in a committed relationship, the definition of cheating is based on both parties opinions and both parties may redefine their understanding to match the party at an either lower or higher extreme of this definition. Some couples simply believe that cheating constitutes doing anything, whether verbal or physical, that one would not do in front of their significant other. Such examples would include: expressing attraction to another person, electronic communications, kissing, making out, and sexual relations.

Many people consider cheating to be any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, which may or may not include sexual monogamy. For example, in some polyamorous relationships, the concepts of commitment and fidelity do not necessarily hinge on complete sexual or emotional monogamy. Whether polyamorous or monogamous, the boundaries to which people agree vary widely, and sometimes these boundaries evolve within each relationship.

In Short, you have cheated on her in one way or another.

[Charmaine]

Bangbangben is right - cheating involves deception. If you're not able to tell your wife (or girlfriend) whatever you have done due to guilt, ignorance or indifference, that amounts to cheating.

If you decided to go for a commercial handjob, and just when she was about to touch your dick you chicken out, are you still "clean"? If she has only started to jerk you off for a couple of seconds before you pulled the plug, are you considered a cheater already? But if you went for the full course, then proceeded to go home and tell your wife about it, would that be alright? For a possessive freak of a man, if his girlfriend went out clubbing with her friends and ended up laying her head on a male friend's shoulder for a couple of seconds in a drunken state before she came to, she may well be the biggest cheater of all time in his eyes.

It's all relative, and varies from person to person. The very definition of a cheat and its boundaries can only be defined between 2 parties and its lines distinctively drawn. That's why it's important to lay the ground rules first before anyone decides to embark on a meaningful relationship and the reason why people always say to you that communication is everything - that's because it is.

[tuxedosam]

Originally Posted by bangbangben

'Cheating' is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition...

In Short, you have cheated on her in one way or another.

would have to agree with you there, just as i concur with bro colins' analogies. one can be faithful but how can you be 100% honest 100% of the time? ultimately, we can only be who we are and not someone else. no amount of empathy can place you exactly in the shoes of another person. and no one can be completely privy to your thoughts all the time. is checking out porn cheating? is having a wank in the shower without telling the missus cheating? is having a torrid, year-long affair with a colleague a worse act of cheating than occasional trysts with anonymous prostitutes? is going for a swingers' party as a couple an act of cheating? it all depends on the circumstances and whatever agreed upon code of conduct that exists between two people. and it is equally possible that this standard is itself dynamic, changing with the tide of time. which means that even if you did agree in the past, this might not always remain the case. perhaps the human species was never meant to be completely monogamous. i'm sure someone more familiar with evolutionary psychology can better illustrate this with parallel examples from our simian cousins. no point trying to live up to an ideal that defined narrowly, leaves you little room for life or imagination. wanna cheat, cheat lor. do give it some thought though. know an apple for what it is. dun offer yourself (and your partner) a barrage of mitigating factors as some sorta cheap defense at the end of it all. call it what it is. but accept who you are. and live with the consequences of your choices, for better or worse.

[groo]

Originally Posted by Lestat69

got gf/wife but go to massage palour and got handjob. no sex or bj.

HJ is a sexual service and is part of the sexual process. So your view that no sex is involved is wrong.

[Panamera]

Sexual behaviour outside of a committed relationship is cheating. HJ is as “real” a sexual behavior as intercourse or oral sex.

It is cheating unless your committed partner knows about it and accepts the behavior. Anytime you do something sexually behind your partner's back and she isn't aware of it (and would be upset about it), that's cheating regardless of the sexual activities — from HJ, BJ to FJ.

Though *some* people might not agree with that! It is the same as Bill Clinton saying he didn't have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. Obviously, he had oral sex with her, and it is largely accepted that he cheated on his wife.

Would you dare to tell your wife or galfriend?

[bunnyrabbit]

hmm...you see the pretty WL/colleague/gal and start having fantansies to bonk her. is this consider cheating in the mind?
no matter what is done...once the your mind make up to do something behind yr galfrd/wife back is consider cheating already....

[mike1304k]

I agree with Bro Bunny....

If you walk into a HC or Tuina or wherever hoping to get laid or get a bj or hj, then you have crossed the line into cheating. But like the birthday cake that is so yummy and is lying on the table.... if you take a bite, then better act blur and keep it quiet... hehehehe.

[HCKing]

does it even matters? most impt is u feel shiok or nt?

and bro, the more impt thing to worry abt should b did u pay yr HC entrance fee by credit card or nt? u will knw the answer to yr question when the bill comes.