Toxic relationship

[seekerJ]

Wow.. It’s been over 6 years since my last update. Reading back my post and recalling the experience, really brings back the scary memories.
It was a tough breakup because I was very resolved to breakup but she was super insist not to. She even begged me to stay and said she will change. So we continued on for another year but still the same old problems resurfaced. I asked her what’s our problem, she can’t even answered it. Probably she knows she’s the problematic ones and we were stuck in this cycle.
She even threatened me to commit suicide and ran off to any block to jump. I almost scared till death, keep searching for her like playing block catching. I keep calling her mobile and she did pick up. I told her I will call the police if she doesn’t stop it. Thankfully I found her and I was struggling to manage this relationship.
Good thing was that she agreed to move out my place but she found another place that very near me. Seems like she still want to hang onto this relationship.
I thanked for Covid CB period at April 2020, that we can totally not meeting each other and slowly we drifted apart and she start to accept our breakup and move on her life.
In 2022, in Facebook I saw that she found another guy (the guy probably divorced with a 10 years old kid, based on his fb profile) and got married in 2023. There’s a video showing their ROM and that guy had tears that he able to found her and get a 2nd marriage.
I wasn’t sure did she changed after these year and really found the right person. But I still wish her the best and even more to that guy.
Breaking up with her was the best decision I made, I found myself back again. Not that depressed and walking on ice guy. I’m much much happy as a single man, even now.
Thanks for the guys sharing your experience that you had been through and encouragement with your listening ears. I’m just luckier to pull myself out in time and not fall even further. For those facing similar issues, don’t go through alone, speak to someone and get a neutral 3rd party to assess the situation and find the root causes to solve it. If can’t, it’s better break up and move on. Your mental health is important, don’t stuck in toxic relationship, pull yourself out asap.

[AppleSalad]

seekerJ bro, glad to hear that you have moved on.

Very true that for bros, we should speak to other ppl and not just bottle it inside.

Love should be a 2 way street, if its not reciprocated, whats the pt...

[prsmms]

wow...thats so tonic

[BatamBro]

Can you tahan like that long term?
This is the person you want to propose to?
Imagine having kids with this person and this kind of argument happens?
Ask yourself lah. Toxic is normal but this one is deadly.

[Garage1]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

Wow.. It’s been over 6 years since my last update. Reading back my post and recalling the experience, really brings back the scary memories.
It was a tough breakup because I was very resolved to breakup but she was super insist not to. She even begged me to stay and said she will change. So we continued on for another year but still the same old problems resurfaced. I asked her what’s our problem, she can’t even answered it. Probably she knows she’s the problematic ones and we were stuck in this cycle.
She even threatened me to commit suicide and ran off to any block to jump. I almost scared till death, keep searching for her like playing block catching. I keep calling her mobile and she did pick up. I told her I will call the police if she doesn’t stop it. Thankfully I found her and I was struggling to manage this relationship.
Good thing was that she agreed to move out my place but she found another place that very near me. Seems like she still want to hang onto this relationship.
I thanked for Covid CB period at April 2020, that we can totally not meeting each other and slowly we drifted apart and she start to accept our breakup and move on her life.
In 2022, in Facebook I saw that she found another guy (the guy probably divorced with a 10 years old kid, based on his fb profile) and got married in 2023. There’s a video showing their ROM and that guy had tears that he able to found her and get a 2nd marriage.
I wasn’t sure did she changed after these year and really found the right person. But I still wish her the best and even more to that guy.
Breaking up with her was the best decision I made, I found myself back again. Not that depressed and walking on ice guy. I’m much much happy as a single man, even now.
Thanks for the guys sharing your experience that you had been through and encouragement with your listening ears. I’m just luckier to pull myself out in time and not fall even further. For those facing similar issues, don’t go through alone, speak to someone and get a neutral 3rd party to assess the situation and find the root causes to solve it. If can’t, it’s better break up and move on. Your mental health is important, don’t stuck in toxic relationship, pull yourself out asap.

nice story bro....
thanks for sharing.. yes.. many times pple dun believe women are the more toxic ones

[Leisuresuit]

run before it is too late...

im in a marriage with someone who had displayed such behavior in the past... unfortunately its unlikely that they will change and over time, you may find it difficult to leave because of possible consequences to the kids and possible financial ruin... walking on eggshells everyday...

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

Wow.. It’s been over 6 years since my last update. Reading back my post and recalling the experience, really brings back the scary memories.
It was a tough breakup because I was very resolved to breakup but she was super insist not to. She even begged me to stay and said she will change. So we continued on for another year but still the same old problems resurfaced. I asked her what’s our problem, she can’t even answered it. Probably she knows she’s the problematic ones and we were stuck in this cycle.
She even threatened me to commit suicide and ran off to any block to jump. I almost scared till death, keep searching for her like playing block catching. I keep calling her mobile and she did pick up. I told her I will call the police if she doesn’t stop it. Thankfully I found her and I was struggling to manage this relationship.
Good thing was that she agreed to move out my place but she found another place that very near me. Seems like she still want to hang onto this relationship.
I thanked for Covid CB period at April 2020, that we can totally not meeting each other and slowly we drifted apart and she start to accept our breakup and move on her life.
In 2022, in Facebook I saw that she found another guy (the guy probably divorced with a 10 years old kid, based on his fb profile) and got married in 2023. There’s a video showing their ROM and that guy had tears that he able to found her and get a 2nd marriage.
I wasn’t sure did she changed after these year and really found the right person. But I still wish her the best and even more to that guy.
Breaking up with her was the best decision I made, I found myself back again. Not that depressed and walking on ice guy. I’m much much happy as a single man, even now.
Thanks for the guys sharing your experience that you had been through and encouragement with your listening ears. I’m just luckier to pull myself out in time and not fall even further. For those facing similar issues, don’t go through alone, speak to someone and get a neutral 3rd party to assess the situation and find the root causes to solve it. If can’t, it’s better break up and move on. Your mental health is important, don’t stuck in toxic relationship, pull yourself out asap.

Sounds like my mother. Drove my father to alcoholism. Is she gorgeous? As my saying goes. A little pretty hides the crazy.
Glad you moved on. She's another man's problem now.

[seekerJ]

You never realised it when blinded in love or being responsible to your partner. Thinking it will turn better or even I can change and do better but after a while you know you never able to satisfy her. You will lose yourself in the process to be someone she like and you are not the one she like or love.
You say it’s deadly, yes. You feel like dying than continue this relationship.

Originally Posted by BatamBro

Can you tahan like that long term?
This is the person you want to propose to?
Imagine having kids with this person and this kind of argument happens?
Ask yourself lah. Toxic is normal but this one is deadly.

[seekerJ]

She’s not that kind you will turn your head on the street but just regular GND. Even she’s a very gorgeous head turner, after going thru all the drama and stress. You don’t even have that libido. You rather have peace than sex.

Originally Posted by LooksLikeJesus

Sounds like my mother. Drove my father to alcoholism. Is she gorgeous? As my saying goes. A little pretty hides the crazy.
Glad you moved on. She's another man's problem now.

[seekerJ]

True when you see the red flags, please run. That time I choose to ignore all those red flags so that’s why I’m also asking for it.

Hope any bro or sis who are feeling you might or in the a toxic relationship, do share them and hope getting out of it. Its better to get out soon than thinking the situation will change for the better because it’s only get worst.

Originally Posted by Leisuresuit

run before it is too late...

im in a marriage with someone who had displayed such behavior in the past... unfortunately its unlikely that they will change and over time, you may find it difficult to leave because of possible consequences to the kids and possible financial ruin... walking on eggshells everyday...

[phantom777]

Originally Posted by Leisuresuit

run before it is too late...

im in a marriage with someone who had displayed such behavior in the past... unfortunately its unlikely that they will change and over time, you may find it difficult to leave because of possible consequences to the kids and possible financial ruin... walking on eggshells everyday...

agree, don't expect them to change, high unlikely. either you accept or run fast

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

She’s not that kind you will turn your head on the street but just regular GND. Even she’s a very gorgeous head turner, after going thru all the drama and stress. You don’t even have that libido. You rather have peace than sex.

Hahaha! Sorry to add fuel to fire. Never been married, been in a long term r/s. But I understand that feeling. I felt like digging a hole in the grd and bury myself in. The sex is not worth the trouble.

Originally Posted by seekerJ

(the guy probably divorced with a 10 years old kid, based on his fb profile) and got married in 2023. There’s a video showing their ROM and that guy had tears that he able to found her and get a 2nd marriage.

Something tells me a journey of hell is gonna be unleash. I pity the boy. The boy might be in for a ride in the crazy train. HAHA! But, it's just my speculation anyway. Was yr ex diagnosed with any psychological issues?

Coz usually women with such behavioral traits (threaten self harm on a regular basis) tend to have the below diagnosed/undiagnosed:

Schizophrenia
Bipolar
Borderline Personality Disorder
Histrionic Personality Disorder

Any clinically diagnosed depression by a certified mental health professional. That depression is just masking the probable "crazy" as per mentioned above. Coz depression is "easy" to diagnose. Hope the new guy has deep pockets to give to the psychiatrist!

[seekerJ]

Bro you have a very valid point observed, she does have some underlying mental issues because she will get panic attacks occasionally. Probably anxiety disorder or anger management issue. Trying to get her to see a psychiatrist to determine her issues but she never wants to seek help due to financial and stigma, I think. Anyway she is a very stubborn person, never want to hear others and only believe in herself and do things only her way.
But she knows how to control and manipulate people around her to get what’s she wants. That’s her survival skill since she was almost on her own in her childhood days. Everyone has their sad stories but it’s whether you able to 看开

Originally Posted by LooksLikeJesus

Hahaha! Sorry to add fuel to fire. Never been married, been in a long term r/s. But I understand that feeling. I felt like digging a hole in the grd and bury myself in. The sex is not worth the trouble.



Something tells me a journey of hell is gonna be unleash. I pity the boy. The boy might be in for a ride in the crazy train. HAHA! But, it's just my speculation anyway. Was yr ex diagnosed with any psychological issues?

Coz usually women with such behavioral traits (threaten self harm on a regular basis) tend to have the below diagnosed/undiagnosed:

Schizophrenia
Bipolar
Borderline Personality Disorder
Histrionic Personality Disorder

Any clinically diagnosed depression by a certified mental health professional. That depression is just masking the probable "crazy" as per mentioned above. Coz depression is "easy" to diagnose. Hope the new guy has deep pockets to give to the psychiatrist!