Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Torres_Mok

Bro,

Happy new yr to u too. thanks for ur info, i just want to make sure it means happy new yr so i send to my vn friends.

Wah, many many VN friends from Joo Chiat huh?

[Torres_Mok]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Wah, many many VN friends from Joo Chiat huh?

No lah, some r outside JC area.

[SingViet]

Another Singaporean lady reporter trying to comfort singapore ladies:

Disappointed Viet brides dump S'pore hubbies
WHY THEY WALK OUT

Can't adjust to lifestyle here

Language barrier

Unrealistic expectations

Cold feet

THEY may have travelled a long way from their homes in rural Vietnam to marry Singaporean husbands. But some matchmade Viet brides have no qualms about dumping their men and making a quick U-turn if things are not right.
07 April 2005
Dawn Chia
[email protected]

THEY may have travelled a long way from their homes in rural Vietnam to marry Singaporean husbands.

But some matchmade Viet brides have no qualms about dumping their men and making a quick U-turn if things are not right. They're even prepared to endure shame when they return home without hubby in tow.

For every 100 cases of matchmade couples involving Vietnamese women and Singaporean men, at least three brides initiate breakups, said a matchmaking agency here.

An inability to adjust to the lifestyle here, as well as the language barrier can sometimes push these women to the brink, said Mr Mark Lin, managing director of Vietnam Brides International Matchmaker.

He said: 'Many of these women come here with an over-glorified notion of Singaporean men, and sometimes their hopes are dashed when they realise the men don't live up to their expectations.

'There are also those with the 'playgirl attitude' who think they can find a better man.

'It's unrealistic expectations like these which cause the match to fail before the marriage is legally recognised.'

When a woman dumps the man, Mr Lin will find another woman for free, since it's his 'duty' to ensure the mans get a wife.

He charges $10,000 for a match made in Singapore, and $16,000 for one made in Vietnam.

Some men and women also get cold feet and change their minds at the last minute about getting hitched, he added.

Some brides-to-be may even be sent home to their families by their prospective husbands before marriage, Mr Lin said.

He estimated that out of 100 women, only about seven are rejected by the men before marriage.

Said Mr Lin: 'Not all marriages (matchmade or otherwise) end up happy, and divorces happen.

'But these are very rare in matchmade marriages, because both parties go into it not for the purpose of dating, but for practical reasons of marriage and starting a family.'

However, other Vietnamese matchmaking outfits, like Mr Cupid International Matchmakers and Crossing Point Friendship, claim they have not had any divorces. (See report on far right.)

Mr Lin said the overwhelming majority of cases of women being rejected by men happen before they are legally married.

Couples file a notice of marriage at the Registry of Marriages when the Vietnamese bride arrives in Singapore.

Before the solemnisation, there is a waiting period of 21 days, during which the bride will live with the man and consummate their marriage.

Mr Lin gave three reasons why men reject their prospective brides.

Objections from his family (siblings, parents).

'Playboy' attitude. 'Some men are under the impression that they are far superior to the woman, and that perhaps the next woman they find will be better. So they reject the bride.'

When the bride asks him for an exorbitant sum of money to send to her family.

When women are dumped, or choose to leave their Singaporean spouses, they usually return to their villages in shame, said Mr Lin.

He adds that if the bride is rejected by the Singapore man, she won't be ridiculed that much back home, as her community would merely think that Singaporean men are hard to please.

But if she doesn't want the man, it will reflect badly on her, as she will be seen as a playgirl who squandered her chances.

HARD TO STAY ON

She will find it hard to stay on in her village, as people will call her a loose woman.

But these women usually get back on the matchmaking circuit - probably ending up with Taiwanese or Korean husbands.

One young foreign bride told The New Paper how she was sent home by the Singaporean man she was to marry barely two weeks after they met.

The man dumped her unceremoniously, she claimed, saying that he was going to the UK to study, and could not take her along since he would be gone for two years.

Said the woman, through a friend: 'He had obviously made plans to go for further studies sometime ago.

'Not coming clean with this from the start gave me the feeling that he was out to cheat me.'

Despite such setbacks, many of these women still prefer to marry foreign men.

Another bride-to-be, who did not want to be named, said: 'It's better to marry foreigners because I have friends who get beaten by their local husbands who are drunks or are in financial trouble.

'Overseas men are less violent and more loving to their wives.'

[Torres_Mok]

it is no doubt that sporean gals hv grudges against vietnamese gals as significant numbers of sporean men hv vietnamese wives in spore.

Recently my female friend attacked me for passing good remarks on vn gals. My female friend told me that i can get vn wife easily through agency if i want to.

I believe that sporean gals r under threat from the foreigner gals as these gals r favoured by sporean men, particularly the vn gals.

[SingViet]

There's a lot of lady reporters that carry reports attacking singaporean man marrying foreigner wives, especially vietnamese and PRC. How come there are no male reporters that will carry reports that attack Singaporean ladies with SWM? Too many singaporean ladies are being played out by these Stupid White Man that charms, fuck and dump Singaporean ladies. Its call the Stupid White Man's CFD theory. But too bad, it works 80% of the time on Singaporean ladies.

[SingViet]

Another report in our local papers some time back:

Viet brides just a bus ride away
Matchmaking agency's new gimmick could mean quickie marriages - for $12,000
By Tan Mae Lynn [email protected]
SINGAPORE men can now meet and marry Vietnamese woman here. SAll it takes is a few minutes - and $12,000.
24 June 2004
By Tan Mae Lynn

SINGAPORE men can now meet and marry Vietnamese woman here. All it takes is a few minutes - and $12,000.
A local matchmaking agency, specialising in Vietnamese brides, is bringing the women here.
A man who walks in and finds a woman he fancies can simply make the payment and, if she agrees, take her home.
That is, if he doesn't insist that she go for a medical check-up first.
In the past, the men had to travel to Vietnam with no guarantee that they would return with a bride of their choice.
And it cost more, as much as $16,000, because of additional expenses, such as air tickets and accommodation for the matchmaker.
Mr Mark Lin, 42, claims to be one of the pioneers in the line.
But since he started his Vietnam brides matchmaking agency about four years ago, other agencies have also started offering similar services.
In an attempt stay competitive, he came up with this idea of bringing the girls here instead.
Speaking in Mandarin, he said: 'I have to find new ways to fight the competition, so I have to innovate.
'If the men don't like the girls who are here, they can come back again at a later date when new girls come. It's cheaper for them this way.'
His change of business strategy has been a success, he claims.
'Since I started bringing the girls here about three months ago, I've had about a 70 per cent success rate matching them with husbands.'
He brought in nine women in the last three months, and had to send home only two unsuccessful brides.
He said they had language problems.
Mr Lin usually brings in girls who can speak either Mandarin or English.
He advertises in the Chinese newspapers for customers.
But those looking for love can also walk in to any of his three Sin Ye International Matchmakers agencies located at Katong Shopping Centre, Orchard Plaza and Golden Mile Tower.
At any one time, there are three or four potential brides at the agency, he claims.
While waiting for their potential husbands, the women stay at a budget hotel.
Mr Lin said that before the girls come to Singapore, they're required to undergo a medical examination.
However, most men here choose to have the women examined by a Singapore doctor too.
This is usually a general check-up.
Once there is mutual agreement between the couple, the man is required to pay a $3,000 deposit before taking her to the doctor.
He is allowed to take her home once the full payment is made.
Mr Lin finds the girls through agents, usually in rural Vietnam. He said it is entirely up to the girls if they are willing to come to Singapore.
They do not have to pay him any fee. Instead, Mr Lin gives the girl's family some money and takes care of her air ticket and accommodation. He also gives her a small allowance in Singapore.
He declined to reveal how much money is given to each girl's family, nor did he say how much of the $12,000 fee goes to him.
Added Mr Lin: 'What I do is match-make two people. Both parties have to be agreeable.
'The girl has a choice. If she doesn't like the man, she can say 'no'.
'We always tell the girls that they have recourse. They don't have to marry a man they don't think they can love.
'And they know that if their husbands become abusive they can seek protection from the law.'
And what if the men are unhappy with their brides?
'Whatever happens after the marriage is their personal matter.
'But so far, I haven't had anyone who has demanded an exchange or their money back.'
Mr Lin said the girls can find spouses in anything from one to 20 days. They come to Singapore on social visit visas, which lasts no longer than a month.
When The New Paper visited Mr Lin at his Katong Shopping Centre branch, there were three potential brides sitting around, engaged in idle chatter.
His office was decked out in photographs of couples he had matchmade and media reports about men who had married Vietnamese girls.
He claimed that he has matched about 100 couples since he started his business and most of his customers are in their 30s and 40s.
Occasionally though, there are young suitors.
Miss Thu Em, 20, who was at the agency when we visited, has been in Singapore for less than a week and has met a 30-year-old man.
Last Monday, after having met him twice, she agreed to marry him.
When asked if she was excited about her impending marriage, she giggled and nodded. - Additional reporting by Hedy Khoo.
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S'pore men make good hubbies
OF the three Vietnamese girls at Mr Lin's matchmaking agency yesterday, one was already on her way to being a bride. The two others remained hopeful.
Miss Thi Nhi, 22, said in Mandarin: 'I'm confident I'll be able to find a husband within the next two weeks.'
All three were shy and appeared meek.
When we spoke to them, they avoided eye contact and had to be prompted several times before they responded.
The most vocal of the three, Miss Ngoc Hang, 28, said: 'If I see someone I like, a good man, then yes, I will marry him.'
On why she wanted to marry a Singaporean, she said: 'Friends tell me Singapore men really love their wives, they don't beat their wives and they have jobs.'
This was echoed by the other girls, almost like a well-rehearsed line.
All three also said they did not face any objections from their families in Vietnam.
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S'pore women not attentive, don't know how to serve
MR WEI has been married for three months to a Vietnamese girl he met through Mr Lin's agency.
He said: 'I waited for many years to find a wife, but couldn't find a suitable one.
'Singapore women are quite pretty, but they're not very attentive. They don't know how to serve their men.'
He did not want to reveal much about their married life, other than to say that he occasionally takes his wife out for meals and shopping.
Other Singaporean men, however, were not as open to the idea of marrying Vietnamese brides, especially through a matchmaking service.
Mr Wong, 34, who's divorced, said: 'I won't want to have a Vietnamese bride because there would be a communication problem. When I speak Singlish, she won't understand.
'Even if she speaks Mandarin, our cultures are different.'
This difference in cultural backgrounds is an important issue in a relationship, said Mr David Kan.
Mr Kan, co-founder and marriage counsellor of the Family Life Centre, said: 'A relationship... involves two human beings... there should be heart-to-heart contact and a sharing of perspectives of life and marriage.'
He added that in the case of these Vietnamese brides, there should also be an exchange and understanding of each other's cultures and backgrounds.
'In such momentary contact between two parties, you can't really tell how the relationship or marriage will work out,' Mr Kan said.
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Marriage in minutes? It may not be so easy
IT may take minutes to get a Vietnamese bride, as matchmaker Mark Lin claims, but the big question remains: how long will she be able to stay in Singapore after the marriage?
Immigration and citizenship could be spanners in the way of a life happily ever after - if the couple are to remain in Singapore.
The women are given social visit passes, with lengths varying between 14 days to a month.
After the marriage, it is then up to the couple to apply to the immigration authorities for the relevant papers so the wife will be able to stay here.
To date, Mr Lin said none of the couples has encountered any legal problems resulting from these quickie marriages.
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have bros realised something? How come these reports of vietnamese brides are all done by singapore female reporters?

[SingViet]

Looking abroad for a spouse
A woman's plea for government help to stop Singaporean men marrying foreign women spark off nation-wide debate on a new phenomenon.
By Seah Chiang Nee.
Nov 26, 2002

FACED with a rising number of Singaporeans seeking wives abroad when more women here remain unmarried, one local lady has appealed to the government: Please help us keep our men.
It wasn't a frivolous call but one that touches on a serious national issue.
"I am very alarmed that women here are losing their appeal with some Singapore men, who are going abroad in their search for mates," wrote Melissa Foo.
It did not help, she added, that the men were held in high esteem, especially by women from China, Vietnam, Malaysia, the Philippines and India.
"This would not be a problem if not for the fact that many Singapore women are still unmarried."
The second dilemma, she indicated, comes when foreign brides marry Singapore men with ulterior motives, such as for money or just to get permanent residency or citizenship.
(There were recent cases of foreign wives seeking a divorce after being granted citizenship or when they became entitled to their husbands' assets.)
Her letter has raised a wide, lengthy discussion in the media and the Internet, provoking some finger-pointing at both sexes.
In her well-written letter, Foo said there were only so many Singaporean men. She asked the government for help to reverse the trend.
To encourage the men to seek their brides locally, she suggested: "Why not give a large bonus to the men who marry local spouses, like the national-service allowance or baby bonus?"
"Pardon me for my nationalistic fervour, but if we don't fight for ourselves, no one else will."
It was as if a giant gong had just been sounded to signal the start of a no-holds-barred debate.
An early response was: "What's wrong with foreign spouses?"
Foo's suggestion for financial incentives was shot down very quickly. "Marriage is about love and love is not economics," said one person.
The subject of men - and women, too - marrying foreign spouses during recent years has become a worrying trend to some - and welcomed by others.
It's not hard to trace its causes. One reason is, of course, globalisation that sends tens of thousands of single men abroad to study, work and do business for a long period.
That increases the chances of them finding a spouse there. But the main reason is rising educational standards (especially of women) and changing values.
Increasingly, a stereotype view is that Singapore women are materialistic, unlike overseas brides who are likely to be satisfied with a roof over their heads, three meals a day and love from their husbands.
Another is that local women, highly educated, tend to want husbands who are better skilled or higher earning than them, thus narrowing their choices.
As one web posting declares, Singapore's men have been raised to believe that if they study hard, get a degree and a good salary, girls will flock to them.
That means, they believe, they can choose a wife who is demure, obedient and ready to cater to their needs.
With better education and high earnings, women tend to be, on the other hand, more self-reliant, assertive and demanding.
These contrasting expectations of marriage are pushing many men to go global in seeking a wife.
Stereotypes die hard. Some men see local women as being too calculating and over-demanding.
"They want a car, a condo and other comforts of life. If you're poor, forget about marrying a Singaporean girl," said one exaggerated posting.
"Pampered by maids and parents, many do not even know how to cook or sew, unlike most girls from China or Vietnam."
These foreign girls from less wealthy countries generally do not possess the same level of education of the Singapore women, declared one message.
This is due to their deeply-rooted cultures and social mores and their perception that Singaporean men are "better."
There are potential pitfalls, too. Some marriages fail after the initial curiosity wears off on both sides.
As for the men, they have not abandoned their traditional gender roles despite their higher Western education.
A foreigner put it: "Singaporean women are being caught in between the demands of traditional Asian cultures and modern economic requirements."
On one hand, he said, they are expected to perform the traditional housewives' roles their mothers played while, on the other, the society needs them to contribute to its economy.
Some men, however, choose a Vietnamese bride because they want one who believes in the value of family, rather than one who believes in career.
Some Singaporean women are marrying abroad, too, mainly to Westerners who are ready to grant their spouses the freedom to pursue their own careers and individual interests.
The trend has become so hot that a number of matchmaking agencies are flourishing to cash in on the China brides business here.
What's more, while Singaporean men used to travel to China to seek wives before, the mainland ladies are now seeking out Singaporean men through local agencies.
According to press reports, six out of seven agencies report this trend.
One agency reported a five-fold increase in clients from China compared to two years ago. Some girls have been studying here, looking for husbands because they want to remain in the city.
Another agency said half of the 1200 clients are Chinese nationals. Many of these men taking foreign brides are "heartlanders," a term used to describe the non-English speaking, 40-plus people who live in housing board estates.
For a long time, these people have been finding it difficult to marry local girls as a result of their low incomes and poor education. Many are forced to look for brides in China, Vietnam and India.
Today as I am writing this, the Streats newspaper had a report of a 62-year-old Singapore bachelor finally fulfilling his wish to get married - to a 21-year-old Vietnamese bride.
Earning S$1800 (M$3960) a month in a hotel, Ho Park Tong said: "Vietnamese girls are more honest and are not as demanding as Singapore women."
But increasingly, such bridegrooms are coming from the ranks of the better educated and professionals.
But the number of China girls registered with matchmaking agencies in recent months is said to have fallen as the Singapore economy declines and the mainland's fortune booms.
This seems to bear out what Foo fears - a financial motive among some foreign brides - is not entirely baseless

[Sha_Gua75]

Originally Posted by SingViet

How come there are no male reporters that will carry reports that attack Singaporean ladies with SWM?

Have a....only few months ago, there is a report on Newpaper that singapore gal get cheated and play like a toy by a foreign soccer player based in singapore

[Torres_Mok]

Originally Posted by SingViet

There's a lot of lady reporters that carry reports attacking singaporean man marrying foreigner wives, especially vietnamese and PRC. How come there are no male reporters that will carry reports that attack Singaporean ladies with SWM? Too many singaporean ladies are being played out by these Stupid White Man that charms, fuck and dump Singaporean ladies. Its call the Stupid White Man's CFD theory. But too bad, it works 80% of the time on Singaporean ladies.

Through my own experience, normal pretty sporean gals will not go for SWM! only those unwanted sporean gals will go 4 swm. I think swm r just like semcorb waste, becos they salvage the left overs. so far i hv not seen pretty chinese sporean gal with swm, but i hv seen many pretty and sexy malay gals with swm.

[gremio82]

Originally Posted by Torres_Mok

Through my own experience, normal pretty sporean gals will not go for SWM! only those unwanted sporean gals will go 4 swm. I think swm r just like semcorb waste, becos they salvage the left overs. so far i hv not seen pretty chinese sporean gal with swm, but i hv seen many pretty and sexy malay gals with swm.

Most likely these SWM also are the so-called left overs or unattended who cannot find the so-called sex pantner or life pantner (whatever they like to label) in their own countries and that why they they come to our land to get. I seldom see SWW with sinkapour guys, mostly the opposite...

[Torres_Mok]

I seldom see SWW with sinkapour guys, mostly the opposite...[/QUOTE]


I think sww hv loose and big pussy, and their vigina canal is longer, so seldom see sww..........

[SingViet]

Bro Mok, when u free to meet up?

[Torres_Mok]

Any news on vietnamese spouses cheat on their husband

[soberguy]

Originally Posted by Torres_Mok

I seldom see SWW with sinkapour guys, mostly the opposite...

I think sww hv loose and big pussy, and their vigina canal is longer, so seldom see sww..........[/QUOTE]


hmmmm... well, for those who had not tried, it doesn't mean all sww has got longer or looser virginia. I met mine with a nice tight ones, not mentioning the cup C boobs which is the standard.

[Osama]

Quote from a VN sex forum

More and more SSM (Stupid Singapore Men) are coming over to marry our gals. Through my own experience, normal decent vn gals are happily living in their own country and hardly meet and go for these SSM! Only those WLs that go over to SG have a chance to meet all these SSM. I think SSM are just like semcorb waste, becos most of them just salvage our WLs which we rather not want...working in their country. Most likely these SSM also are the so-called left overs or unattended who cannot find the so-called sex partner or life partner (whatever they like to label) in their own countries and that why they can only buy our gals with money(10K+) or are willing to spend all their money on our WLs not knowing how their hard earn money letting other ppl live a better life then them. These SSM can be easily fool into thinking that they have met a decent gal where in fact these gals might have had more sex partners then them. I think SSM hv short dicks and are lousy in bed.

End Quote


Of course I made all these up...hope you guys have a sense of humour and see some truth in it as well?? Cause it's always easy to criticise ppl and not look at ourselves. If we have already stereotyped so many kinds of ppl...why not do it to ourselves too?? If you can't laugh at yourself, you have no right to laugh at other ppl. Sorry guys!! I just can't keep my mouth shut!!

Just for the record!! I have nothing against Viet gals....in fact I'm a SSM too and for those who know me...not sure if SV still remembers....I have quite a history with Viet gals which can date back more then 1 year ago. Like a relationship with ANY gal...there are ups and downs...but I dare say that I have not regretted a single second for getting involved in a thing like this. Some might call me stupid...but as long as we live and learn to become a better...smarter person..I have no reason to be ashame. But me being ME...I would rather not discuss my personal life in cyberspace..besides it will bored you guys anyway...so I will just leave it as that. Thanks for reading!!