Chaos at Singapore nightclub after breast implants burst on dance floor

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

Patrons at a popular Singapore nightclub were given the shock of their life after a tragic accident on the middle of the crowded dance floor. According to a witness on the scene, the breast implants of a 23-year old local woman simultaneously popped while she was locked in a passionate embrace with an unidentified male during the early hours of last Saturday morning.

Party goers at the club, located in Toa Payoh, reported hearing what sounded like a muffled pop, and some were coated with a thin film of an unknown substance, later revealed to be silicone. The witness who spoke to Batty Post mentioned that the girl had been dancing with a man for some time before the incident. “The pair were carrying on in a raunchy fashion on the dance floor, and the guy couldn’t keep his hands off her. When I saw him reaching under her dress I knew he was a real ham sup lo!” The naughty behaviour continued, and the witness was compelled to remove their handphone to capture the acts on video. “I wanted to have a record of this dirty tiko peh!” It wasn’t long before the man’s hands migrated north, and he proceeded to give the woman’s papayas a generous squeeze. “He was really going to town, when suddenly there was a terrible popping sound.”

The club’s management quickly evacuated the venue and it has been closed since for cleaning and disinfecting. However, there was a post on their Facebook page today announcing the club would be reopening tonight, but with a new policy. “We hope our guests understand, but to ensure the safety of patrons and staff we have implemented a strict ban on breast implants at our club. Our door staff have received training on distinguishing between real and fake and will be squeezing in case of any doubts. Thank you for coming!”


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