You heng loh! My wife give me once in a blue moon. So i call chick lor!
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Originally Posted by parrotkid
Sex life for me had gone downhill ever since my wife had our 2nd child. If i al lucky, i get to have sex with her 2 times a month. Sometimes just once. I thought they always say that women sex drive will increase when they become older? Any bros with similar experience?
I hv this problem too. Last time, I always feel tired n not keen for sex. But now, I want to drain my hub as much as possible. I surf net to brush up my blow job n sex skill so that we can enjoy the lovemaking session. Hope yr wife will realize n boost her libido.
Some girls are just not into sex.. If I'm lucky once a month, if not once every 2 months.. Immune to this lifestyle..
Dun quite agree wif the 1st statement...tink there are many wifeys out there who are just not into sex as testified by so many bros in tis forum & elsewhere for various reasons, good & bad...& it is esp so after the kids arrive for the mothers & those who hv reached menopause...Few are those who want to or actually enjoy having sex wif their marital partners etc for reasons well known to many by now...if there is to be any blame at all, it shd be shared equally between the 2...
Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonicSS
I understand where MoJoe313 made his statement where guys and girls have opened up their presents too early. As MoJoe313 explained, many experienced great sex before, and is now dull after.
I am thinking of something, but I cannot confirm. So, may I ask the floor for those affected, how many sexual relationships did you and your spouse have before marriage?
For me there was none other...she is the one & only...
Quote:
Originally Posted by win13win
I think most of the problem lie with guys.
Never do a good job, just get things done and over with it, this might cause wife to slowly lost interest in sex.
Dun quite agree in full wif tis statement either...as always there are 2 sides to a coin or 2 sides to a story...while this is true for wifeys wif HSD, not doing a good job, may also be due to the response of wifeys wif LSD for reasons which hv been expounded so often by bros here & in other similar threads...on the contrary, while guys are not to be absolved of any blame at all, it is the wifeys who are just not into sex most of the time as most married guys would know..but again the wives are not to be fully blamed either cause factors other than sex pre-occupy their minds & time in their daily lives...such as looking after the family & its affairs alone can take away a lot of their time & energy...
It is a sad thing tat marriage after some time will usually lead to such situations of non-sex between the couple unless both of them are good enough to know how to value each other as they grow older together wif the clock ticking on & treasure their love & marital r/s 'till death do us part'...by constantly re-discovering their love for each other, by seeking, exploring & enhancing their time together...helping each other re-invent & re-adjust & meeting & fulfilling one another's wants & needs in a loving manner...only then can a marriage continue to be happy for the couple as time passes on...just my 2 cents worth of tots.
Since so many guys confused why no sex, let me tell you in a different perspective. Read this with an open mind and you might be able to help yourself.
Why has she changed after kids? Ask yourself. What changed. Kids changed her. You changed her. You throw her all the work of being a mother to her. Come back after work who tc kids. Same applies for sahm. A mom is 24/7 super tiring. When can kick back n relax. She don't even have time to pleasure herself (do what she likes) , u think she got time and energy and effort to help pleasure you?
Situation and circumstances all different. Why before and after marriage and kids different should be a no brainer. Simple to understand. But you all not willing to do only. If you treat her the way you wooed her back then, plus take the responsibility of the kids, u see she free to have sex with you a not. Definitely! Maybe by then, become you all not free and too tired / no mood for sex. Lol !
As for those who argue is the wife's hormones dipping and we can actually control it. Well. We can't help it as much as you can help feeling horny. You can't even help feeling the need, you think we can stop hormones from formulating in our body? Lol.
And post natal depression is really very serious. Be a loving and supportive hubby. You will get the same woman you married. Be a bo chap one, you get a different woman lor.
Since so many guys confused why no sex, let me tell you in a different perspective. Read this with an open mind and you might be able to help yourself.
Why has she changed after kids? Ask yourself. What changed. Kids changed her. You changed her. You throw her all the work of being a mother to her. Come back after work who tc kids. Same applies for sahm. A mom is 24/7 super tiring. When can kick back n relax. She don't even have time to pleasure herself (do what she likes) , u think she got time and energy and effort to help pleasure you?
Situation and circumstances all different. Why before and after marriage and kids different should be a no brainer. Simple to understand. But you all not willing to do only. If you treat her the way you wooed her back then, plus take the responsibility of the kids, u see she free to have sex with you a not. Definitely! Maybe by then, become you all not free and too tired / no mood for sex. Lol !
As for those who argue is the wife's hormones dipping and we can actually control it. Well. We can't help it as much as you can help feeling horny. You can't even help feeling the need, you think we can stop hormones from formulating in our body? Lol.
And post natal depression is really very serious. Be a loving and supportive hubby. You will get the same woman you married. Be a bo chap one, you get a different woman lor.
Very well said !...very true indeed ! ...T.Q. to the sis for coming out to share honestly & bluntly the wifeys' POV regarding non-sex wif their hubbies...
But as already mentioned & as we all know, there are always 2 sides to a coin, 2 sides to a story & there must be 2 hands to a clap !...sad to say, there are many instances of bros here who hv testified that they hv done all they could & all tat the sis hv mentioned as responsible husbands but at the end of the day were still left hanging high & dry
& turned down by their wifeys for sex...sigh...
tis problem clearly shows tat for a marriage to succeed & go on happily till death do us part, both must really love each other in the 1st place like the way they did when they 1st pledge their love to each other on their wedding day .. Real love means always giving to the other party voluntarily out of love & for the receiving party in appreciation to graciously return back the favour !...in other words, there must be give & take between the couple now & then, always forgiving & forgetting hurts if any...in order to maintain a happy & meaningful relationship..it definitely cannot be a one-way street for either party...If there is 'real' love, everything will fall in place automatically & there will be happiness all round including sex...it is something tat dun need to be persuaded or demanded by either side...But sadly tis is very difficult to achieve for most couples, hence the problem...On this Valentine's Day 2015, may i wish...tat there be more love & understanding than anger between all couples...
Well, like everyone else sex before the kids was great & you guys who sleep with babies from birth to 4yrs will know that those little monsters of ours simply deprive us of sleep. Now when you don't have sleep + bunch of workload in the day, what happens? Everyone becomes grumpy & the first thing to switch off is SEX. Women especially need mood+romance to rise to the occasion while we just need a good blow job even after staying up for the whole night watching soccer
I have 4 kids from 2 marriages & all are little vampires waking up in the wee hours
Once a month, I'll send the wife away for a good spa to rejuvenate her then let her dress sexy, have a gal's night out & enjoy some booze while I take care of the kids. She'll usually come home to reward me nicely & it turns me on if guys try to hit on her
Otherwise, we plan our little holidays few times a year to sleep soundly & have great sex along with toys.
Why has she changed after kids? Ask yourself. What changed. Kids changed her. You changed her. You throw her all the work of being a mother to her. Come back after work who tc kids. Same applies for sahm. A mom is 24/7 super tiring. When can kick back n relax. She don't even have time to pleasure herself (do what she likes) , u think she got time and energy and effort to help pleasure you?
Situation and circumstances all different. Why before and after marriage and kids different should be a no brainer. Simple to understand. But you all not willing to do only. If you treat her the way you wooed her back then, plus take the responsibility of the kids, u see she free to have sex with you a not. Definitely! Maybe by then, become you all not free and too tired / no mood for sex. Lol
This is so true. Bros who understand this concept have a better chance of improving their sex lives. Unlike men, women who have to do housework or handle kids find themselves drained of their libidos. You man. You will never be drained of it. I noticed an increase in her libido when I freed her of housework and kids chores. Help her out with the kids. Go invest in a helper too.
Before marriage very active. After marriage, still good. After the birth of 2nd child....her sex drive nose dived. I have tried talking, quarrelling, holidaying and hinting divorce. She doesnt want counselling. Nothing worked. She doesn't think sex is a crucial part in a relationship. She says she can live without it.
Her reason is simply no urge. And she won't even give in by giving a hand job or blow job.
Eventually I also give up. Act all holy innocent in front of her and eat whatever comes along on the conveyor belt, from masterbating to the occasional visits to HCs, to the rare ONS.
Yeah...it's pathetic. And she also has alot of other character flaws (which was initially acceptable) which for some unknown reason got worse after birth of 2nd child. ( i was a goodie two shoes until then).The only reason why I am still with her because she gave me 2 wonderful kids who always makes my day. I don't want to lose them.
So yeah that's my story in short.
wow i guess it's sad that it turned out that way, well tough luck but some marraiges do turn out that way
Very well said !...very true indeed ! ...T.Q. to the sis for coming out to share honestly & bluntly the wifeys' POV regarding non-sex wif their hubbies...
But as already mentioned & as we all know, there are always 2 sides to a coin, 2 sides to a story & there must be 2 hands to a clap !...sad to say, there are many instances of bros here who hv testified that they hv done all they could & all tat the sis hv mentioned as responsible husbands but at the end of the day were still left hanging high & dry
& turned down by their wifeys for sex...sigh...
tis problem clearly shows tat for a marriage to succeed & go on happily till death do us part, both must really love each other in the 1st place like the way they did when they 1st pledge their love to each other on their wedding day .. Real love means always giving to the other party voluntarily out of love & for the receiving party in appreciation to graciously return back the favour !...in other words, there must be give & take between the couple now & then, always forgiving & forgetting hurts if any...in order to maintain a happy & meaningful relationship..it definitely cannot be a one-way street for either party...If there is 'real' love, everything will fall in place automatically & there will be happiness all round including sex...it is something tat dun need to be persuaded or demanded by either side...But sadly tis is very difficult to achieve for most couples, hence the problem...On this Valentine's Day 2015, may i wish...tat there be more love & understanding than anger between all couples...
I think those not happy one , there's only one reason. Speaking in general here. Not gender based. If you all say you love your partner , it only means you don't know how to love .everyone feels love differently. Some through gifting , some through quality time spent, some through verbal appreciation. If we get love and feels 100% loved and secure in the r/s, anything goes. But actually I think we need a lot of all. And it's so tiring and time consuming and beneath us to give when our partner doesn't give us what we want. actually we all love our spouses. Because of one thing or another , mostly because we refuse to be the more giving one or bigger man so to speak, so we refuse to do bigger acts for them. But there's only one constant thing. If we don't get love we don't dish it out too. Not in the long run anyway. Sometimes we do everything or we think we do everything already , then there's only left with one conclusion. He/she is not the right one after all. But guys, don't put sex as no.1 la. When you're 75, you just wanna hold hands yah. But come on, don't cheat on our partners la. once we start, we'll never stop. Even if next right one comes along how. Every time got problem , go back to cheating meh. You don't want be like hugh hefner right. See 80 years old still like that also pathetic what.
Very well said !...very true indeed ! ...T.Q. to the sis for coming out to share honestly & bluntly the wifeys' POV regarding non-sex wif their hubbies...
But as already mentioned & as we all know, there are always 2 sides to a coin, 2 sides to a story & there must be 2 hands to a clap !...sad to say, there are many instances of bros here who hv testified that they hv done all they could & all tat the sis hv mentioned as responsible husbands but at the end of the day were still left hanging high & dry.. & turned down by their wifeys for sex...sigh...
tis problem clearly shows tat for a marriage to succeed & go on happily till death do us part, both must really love each other in the 1st place like the way they did when they 1st pledge their love to each other on their wedding day ..
...If there is 'real' love, everything will fall in place automatically & there will be happiness all round including sex...it is something tat dun need to be persuaded or demanded by either side...But sadly tis is very difficult to achieve for most couples, hence the problem...
Quote:
Originally Posted by peanutbutterjel
I think those not happy one , there's only one reason. Speaking in general here. Not gender based.
..Sometimes we do everything or we think we do everything already , then there's only left with one conclusion. He/she is not the right one after all.
Yes, sis, u are right here !...that's why many marriages hv been ended citing incompatibility in many areas of their lives besides sex...looks like there wasn't any real love in the 1st place when they 1st got married...as they say "love is blind"...until its too late...sigh
As for newly wedded couples, believe the frequency for sex is at least 3 times per week if not more...after tat it becomes less & less as stresses & strains of life takes its toll in their daily lives..
This is so true. Bros who understand this concept have a better chance of improving their sex lives. Unlike men, women who have to do housework or handle kids find themselves drained of their libidos. You man. You will never be drained of it. I noticed an increase in her libido when I freed her of housework and kids chores. Help her out with the kids. Go invest in a helper too.
Hi. I chanced upon several comments of yours in the forum and I wonder your sense of maturity came inbuilt or with age and experiences. Were you all the while understanding and sensible towards marriage, family, and women or did it only kickstarted when you reached a certain age or perhaps because of certain incidents. maybe what I want to know is does the maturity of the mind and soul comes with time or it just simply doesn't exist for some. Uob lady's card tagline "the men don't get it.' haha
Yes, sis, u are right here !...that's why many marriages hv been ended citing incompatibility in many areas of their lives besides sex...looks like there wasn't any real love in the 1st place when they 1st got married...as they say "love is blind"...until its too late...sigh
As for newly wedded couples, believe the frequency for sex is at least 3 times per week if not more...after tat it becomes less & less as stresses & strains of life takes its toll in their daily lives..
Hi Rickey. Sad la Maybe I'm too old until I'm talking about soul mate. Hahahaha. But not all people gets it yah. It's kind of like an enlightenment. Anyway, for other bros. No sex only mah. Actually I think humans are just seeking emotional affection la. To guys no sex means no affection. Thus the unhappiness. To ladies, we don't feel your affection also thus the black long see a ready also sian wife face. Quite sad. Just saw one couple today and the wife was screaming with no sense of courtesy or hold back to her husband. "U stand here I also cannot find you @*!#::&=\" the husband just do the normal reaction u guys give. Which is NO reaction. LOL. Maybe couples should treat their partners like how they used to la. talk With the same tune (texting 'yes baby?' last time and now texting 'ya?')and With some effort to please and also courtesy lor. u know , like how you all woo each other that time. If it's that way and it's just more responsibility shouldered together (aka kids), then the emotion and love also won't run too far off la. Most importantly, don't live your life like the way you lived when you had her as a girlfriend. Live it like her. A cooped up cannot go anywhere zombie sleepless mother.
06-02-2015, 10:19 PM
...T.Q. to the sis for coming out to share honestly & bluntly the wifeys' POV regarding non-sex wif their hubbies...
