The "Ah Boy" with No Proper Name

[chupchaikia]

Originally Posted by Chupchai Kia

Writer's Note:
Dear brothers and sisters reading this, this is my first time writing a fantastic story so please forgive my bad writing. Questions and inputs are welcomed. Names have been altered to protect the guilty.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" he thought he remembered someone telling him this.

As he looked into the mirror, at the stranger staring back at him, he wondered to himself, "What is my name?"

He has been called many names - Oh, Jim, Ah Kau, 9966, Lucky - just to name a few but he couldn't remember what his real name is. Perhaps he had some bad childhood experience that has scarred him badly. Or he was just ashamed of his real name; he just couldn't remember. He tried to concentrate - to remember the name his parents gave him but that gave him a bad headache so he stopped. Thinking was not something he was good at.

Shaking his head, he headed to his computer and turned it on. What should he ask the wonderful world of the Internet today, specifically the helpful people at the forums.

• What brand of underwear should I buy?
• Which tastes better - chicken rice or duck rice?
• How does air smell like without a surgical mask?

Come to think of it, the list of questions he wanted to ask was endless and he was spoilt for choice.

Then came the issue of his Internet nick. Somehow he felt safe hiding behind his monitor screen, in the comforts of his home. All the previous nicks that he had used had garnered a lot of negative comments so he scratched his head. What name should he use next?

Maybe someone out in the forum can give him a good suggestion?

[Brigadier]

21 Gun salute to you sir!

[bigpudding]

Festivejoy to you bro!

[chupchaikia]

Originally Posted by chupchaikia

Then came the issue of his Internet nick. Somehow he felt safe hiding behind his monitor screen, in the comforts of his home. All the previous nicks that he had used had garnered a lot of negative comments so he scratched his head. What name should he use next?

Maybe someone out in the forum can give him a good suggestion?

The bored little Ah Boy logged in using one of his many nicks and started typing on his keyboard, “Hi guys!” He started. “I’m bored.”

“I’m pretending to be a 22-year old virgin but in actual fact, I’ve lost my virginity to a call girl that I paid for with a bag of coins.”

I feel so ashamed being a secondary school dropout while my younger sisters have all completed their JC so I spend all my time drinking, smoking in my room and browsing forums. Do you think I need help?” He continued to type, laughing at his own jokes.

He took a deep breath and he continued, “I never had a girlfriend; I only dated the girl staying next door but she kicked me in the nuts once cos she caught me flashing my younger sisters; she broke up with me since. I have a sad life. I don’t have any friends in real life so trolling in forums makes me feel good.”

Ah Boy was really a sorry piece of shit because, a day in and day out, he would just post useless shit on the Internet, pretending to be one persona or another. One day he would pretend to be a dream... Another he would make-believe he was a knight.

Ah Boy would ask nonsensical questions in the forum and when people responded to him, he would act as if he were the Alpha and the Omega.

But more and more people know of his clones and that Ah Boy was just a delusional, pathetic loser. for one thing, the reason why he had so many nicks was because he was ashamed of his very own given name.

[sex crusader]

Originally Posted by chupchaikia

The bored little Ah Boy logged in using one of his many nicks and started typing on his keyboard, “Hi guys!” He started. “I’m bored.”

“I’m pretending to be a 22-year old virgin but in actual fact, I’ve lost my virginity to a call girl that I paid for with a bag of coins.”

I feel so ashamed being a secondary school dropout while my younger sisters have all completed their JC so I spend all my time drinking, smoking in my room and browsing forums. Do you think I need help?” He continued to type, laughing at his own jokes.

He took a deep breath and he continued, “I never had a girlfriend; I only dated the girl staying next door but she kicked me in the nuts once cos she caught me flashing my younger sisters; she broke up with me since. I have a sad life. I don’t have any friends in real life so trolling in forums makes me feel good.”

Ah Boy was really a sorry piece of shit because, a day in and day out, he would just post useless shit on the Internet, pretending to be one persona or another. One day he would pretend to be a dream... Another he would make-believe he was a knight.

Ah Boy would ask nonsensical questions in the forum and when people responded to him, he would act as if he were the Alpha and the Omega.

But more and more people know of his clones and that Ah Boy was just a delusional, pathetic loser. for one thing, the reason why he had so many nicks was because he was ashamed of his very own given name.

Good writing ! This omega si gina or pretend to be is really sick in the head!Up you some pts for the good writing!

[chupchaikia]

Originally Posted by sex crusader

Good writing ! This omega si gina or pretend to be is really sick in the head!Up you some pts for the good writing!

More Ah Boy stories coming!

Anyway Ah Boy has changed his name again. Or maybe it's one of his other clones.

Got so many clones. Must be really sick or really no life.

[chupchaikia]

Originally Posted by chupchaikia

“I’m pretending to be a 22-year old virgin but in actual fact, I’ve lost my virginity to a call girl that I paid for with a bag of coins.”

When Ah Boy was in primary school, he was chosen to be a prefect. He thought he was given this position because he was smart. But he was actually given this position because his mother was a teacher and his mother's colleagues felt sorry for him.

Ah Boy thought he was "doing his duty" as a prefect but he was just a sah kah (three leg) and loved to bao toh (tell on) his peers. He will always tell people what to do and what not to do, as if he knew better. So naturally he had few (if any) friends. This could also explain why he always go to online forums, pretending to be a 22-year old virgin.


Once, he saw Mr Lee, the discipline master, telling a bunch of children not to run during recess.

Mr Lee (to the boys rushing to buy their food): Don't run, don't run! The fried chicken wings won't fly away. Tuck Shop Aunty waiting for you to order her chicken wings. There's no need to run.

Taking the cue from Mr Lee, Ah Boy decided he should also catch boys who were running. But, he was smart; he wanted to let the whole school, especially that girl in P3 to see what a great prefect he was. So made sure he carried out this duty on Sports Day.

On Sports Day, during the P1 Boys Finals, as the younger boys left the starting line, he rushed to the middle of the tracks and shouted.

Ah Boy: Don't run, don't run! The chicken won't fly away. Fuck Shop Aunty waiting for you! Call her chicken!

Ah Boy put his right hand out and imagined he was Iron Man and glared at the boys running towards him. "I am such a hero," he thought to himself, "surely Mr Lee will take note of what I have done and compliment me in front of all the other prefects."

Ah Boy is very smart, don't you all agree?

[chupchaikia]

As a prefect, Ah Boy had to 'patrol' during recess. This gave him a sense of power as he walked around the school tuck shop, making sure people line up for their food.

It was then that he noticed her. To him, she was the most beautiful girl in the world may because she looked different from the other girls in school. Unlike the other girls in school, whenever she was in her uniform, the buttons of her top seemed ready to burst.

Looking at her made him drool and gave him a boner. Her had to look at her from afar because he didn't want her to notice his little boner.

As she was always surrounded by other students and seldom alone during recess time, he decided to watch her from a distance and when he got the chance, like the hero in all those movies, he will swoop in and introduce himself - the Prince Cute Charming or PCC of [CENSORED] Primary School.

The opportunity presented itself one day when he saw her carrying a bowl of fishball noodle soup, looking for a place to sit. Being the gentleman that he was, he decided to become her knight in shining armor. He went up to her and ushered her to the nearest table. The girl blushed and nodded.

Ah Boy felt so full of himself. But alas, as they were about to reach the table, another student plopped down his plate of fried noodles and sat on the bench.

"Excuse me," Ah Boy said politely, "we saw this place first. Can you please go away?"

"But I sat down first!" The smaller boy argued.

"Well, I am a prefect," Ah Boy said proudly, "and my mother is a teacher so take your food and leave." The smaller boy protested but Ah Boy calmly took the plate of fried noodles and chased the smaller boy away.

Defeated, the smaller boy got up and turned to leave.

Turning to the girl of his dream, Ah Boy said sweetly, "Please sit here." She was about to protest but Ah Boy insisted, "this boy was just leaving."

Unknown to Ah Boy, the little boy wasn't prepared to give up his seat without a fight. Without warning, he gave Ah Boy a shove before running off into the crowd.

Ah Boy lost his balance so he threw the plate of fried noodles into the air, using his hands to grab something to balance himself but he found no support. Instead, he bumped into the girl, causing her to fall, spilling her bowl of fishball noodle soup.

It all happened so fast; Ah Boy could not react in time. By the time he had regained his senses, he found his face buried in the girl's crotch. It was like a cushion to his fall.

The girl shrieked causing Ah Boy to realize what a mess he was in.

By then a crowd had gathered around them with the students laughing at the funny sight.

“The Ah Pui prefect so pervert one!” Someone commented.

“He purposely land on her down there one” Another added.

"What a fat loser!" another heckled.

Unable to withstand the chorus of insults, he scampered away, flailing his arms wildly, as he cut through the crowd in the direction of the nearest toilet where he hid until recess was over.

Needless to say, he stood no chance with that girl.

[chupchaikia]

Originally Posted by chupchaikia

Unable to withstand the chorus of insults, he scampered away, flailing his arms wildly, as he cut through the crowd in the direction of the nearest toilet where he hid until recess was over.

Needless to say, he stood no chance with that girl.

When Ah Boy got home from school, his mother was already waiting for him, with a wooden ruler in her hand.

Mother: What did you do in school today?

Ah Boy: I... I... I tried to help this girl find a place to sit. Then there was this boy who took the whole table so I asked him to move to one side and let the girl sit at the other.

Mother: I heard that you chased the boy away?

Ah Boy: No mother! I never! I just nicely ask him to move to one side.

Mother: Ok, I believe you. Next time you want to do anything, ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?"

Ah Boy (softly): Blow wind lor.

Mother (glaring at Ah Boy): What did you say?

Ah Boy (shaking his head, not wanting to antagonize his mother further): Nothing mother.

Mother: You think I am deaf or hard of hearing? Give me your hand!

Ah Boy's mother lightly tapped his outstretched hand using the wooden ruler.

Ah Boy (screaming loudly): Argh! Pain! Pain! Stop mother! Please I will never do it again!

Mother: I think the term you are looking for is "throw caution to the wind" and not "blow wind"! Please brush up on your English! So old already, don't even know how to express yourself properly. Slightest thing and you start to wail and cry - just like a retarded baby! How can we expect you to set a good example to your sisters?

Exasperated, his mother left Ah Boy crying while she attended to her other chores.

Ah Boy's incessant crying got the maid's attention and she came over to hug him.

Maid: Boy boy! Don't cry! Jie Jie here for you.

Seeing his chance, Ah Boy buried his face in-between his maid's cleavage and rubbed his face against her breasts.

Ah Boy (pretending to cry): Jie Jie! Boo hoo!

Maid: Oh no! Boy boy! You are big boy already. Cannot little bit little bit cry.

Ah Boy continued to sob, sniffing in his maid's scent, feeling his little kuku bird grow by half an inch.

Maid: Aiya! Boy boy you make me so messy. Now Jie Jie have to go toilet and wash up now.

The maid broke off the hug and went to the kitchen toilet to wash up. Ah Boy followed closely behind, hoping to take a peep at his maid bathing through the cracks of the plastic folding doors.

Perhaps there was a silver lining to this day after all?

[Omega69]

RETARDED THREAD, iam free from all HIVs and STDs u all will tio in a few years dont forget go polyclinic take hiv test hor $20 only. In the end I have the last laugh hahaha

[chupchaikia]

Originally Posted by Omega69

RETARDED THREAD, iam free from all HIVs and STDs u all will tio in a few years dont forget go polyclinic take hiv test hor $20 only. In the end I have the last laugh hahaha

Thanks for your feedback Bro Omega69!

Happy to know that you are free from all these diseases. They are called STDs for a reason though, meaning you need to have sex in order for the disease to be transmitted to you so I’m happy to note that you are without a sex partner and not sexually active. Really admire how you can stand all those long, lonely nights. Must be tough.

However, do note that while STDs are transmitted sexually, there are other ways in which a person, even a virgin, might get HIV so I have to urge everybody to be more careful the next time they get poked.

I am used to all the laughter. I hear them whenever I past by Buangkok View / Buangkok Green. Really happy people and I am glad you are one of them (able to laugh).


But I am curious though, as to whom are the “u all” that you are talking about? Sounds like more than one person. If so, are they real? Do they have names? Or are they all some imaginary friends?

Hope you can list them out?

[Klassiker]

Originally Posted by Omega69

RETARDED THREAD, iam free from all HIVs and STDs u all will tio in a few years dont forget go polyclinic take hiv test hor $20 only. In the end I have the last laugh hahaha

Who are the "u all" you mentioned?

[Zaporean]

Originally Posted by chupchaikia

Thanks for your feedback Bro Omega69!

Happy to know that you are free from all these diseases. They are called STDs for a reason though, meaning you need to have sex in order for the disease to be transmitted to you so I’m happy to note that you are without a sex partner and not sexually active. Really admire how you can stand all those long, lonely nights. Must be tough.

However, do note that while STDs are transmitted sexually, there are other ways in which a person, even a virgin, might get HIV so I have to urge everybody to be more careful the next time they get poked.

I am used to all the laughter. I hear them whenever I past by Buangkok View / Buangkok Green. Really happy people and I am glad you are one of them (able to laugh).


But I am curious though, as to whom are the “u all” that you are talking about? Sounds like more than one person. If so, are they real? Do they have names? Or are they all some imaginary friends?

Hope you can list them out?

Support bro, really well written.

[Omega69]

Originally Posted by chupchaikia

Thanks for your feedback Bro Omega69!

Happy to know that you are free from all these diseases. They are called STDs for a reason though, meaning you need to have sex in order for the disease to be transmitted to you so I’m happy to note that you are without a sex partner and not sexually active. Really admire how you can stand all those long, lonely nights. Must be tough.

However, do note that while STDs are transmitted sexually, there are other ways in which a person, even a virgin, might get HIV so I have to urge everybody to be more careful the next time they get poked.

I am used to all the laughter. I hear them whenever I past by Buangkok View / Buangkok Green. Really happy people and I am glad you are one of them (able to laugh).


But I am curious though, as to whom are the “u all” that you are talking about? Sounds like more than one person. If so, are they real? Do they have names? Or are they all some imaginary friends?

Hope you can list them out?

My sex partner have to be at local or ang moh SYT not like u desperates horny losers who will piak anything even dinobus or maids LOL.

[chupchaikia]

Thanks for admitting that - all the threads that you have started, all the posts that you have created - You are just making up stories.
Nothing is real.


On January 10, 2021, in a thread you started, you claim:

1. You believe SEX is overrated and glorified
2. The vagina is one of the most dirtiest stuff in the world that contains deadly diseases (HIV)

(See your own quote below)

Originally Posted by Omega69

In my honest opinion although iam a virgin and even nvr touched a girl's hand, i truely believe SEX is overrated and glorified.

The vagina is one of the most dirtiest stuff in the world is like an open wound that bleeds and smells. It might even contain deadly diseases(HIV)

why would i even want to stick my precious little kuku bird in there? Or even PAY to put it in MAKE SENSE???

Bros listen to my advise, just PCC instead for the sake of yr own wellbeing, yr very blessed to have me here warning u of the dangers

On January 12, 2021 (yesterday), you said you are free from all HIVs but how can remain free from HIV now that you have or are looking for asex partner? Who's laughing now? (see your own quote below).

Originally Posted by Omega69

RETARDED THREAD, iam free from all HIVs and STDs u all will tio in a few years dont forget go polyclinic take hiv test hor $20 only. In the end I have the last laugh hahaha

On January 13, 2021 (today), you talk about a sex partner (see your own quote below).

Originally Posted by Omega69

My sex partner have to be at local or ang moh SYT not like u desperates horny losers who will piak anything even dinobus or maids LOL.

Forgot medication? Relapse?