Met someone online but I'm married

[LeGarcon]

Hi guys,

Something happened recently and my head is going to explode from all the things going on. I registered an account here to seek opinions from our brothers and sisters who might have been in the same situation. Anywhere else, I'm afraid I'll just be labeled a bastard and case closed.

I am married with a child. My child is still very young. We got married primarily because she got pregnant and because I love children. My wife and I had been together for more than 3 years when she got pregnant. So we just had a simple wedding and soon my bundle of joy is born.

My relationship with my wife was very good in the beginning (when we got together). She was understanding, smart and funny. We got along well but after about 2 years she showed a different side of her. She became demanding, spoilt and unreasonable at times. I thought I had given in to her too much and over pampered her. Apparently this was what happened to her ex too. Eventually he couldn't take her temper and demands and disappeared, along with some money borrowed from her to settle some stock problems.

I am known to be a very patient person. I decided to reason things out before I do anything drastic. In the end, her ways prevailed and we had a big quarrel. I didn't speak to her for a week and was comtemplating to have a bit of time off each other. She called me one afternoon and told me she was pregnant. Initially I was shocked. Definitely. But I decided it must be fate and began planning for the wedding with her and began to do all the things parents do to welcome their child.

During her pregnancy she wasn't that much more demanding than her usual self. I usually give in cos she always threatened me with the fact that she was the one carrying my child for 9 months and hence I should be extra nice to her. I understand her POV and of course gave in to her demands for massages, cravings etc.

Fast fwd a few months and my kid is born. I was tasked to do the night feedings. She had to express out her breastmilk cos my kid can't latch at all. So she expressed, i feed. And I bathe. And changed diapers. Basically apart from supplying my kid's source of nutrients she didn't do anything else. She was 'tired' all the time and again i gave in. Eventually she stopped her breastmilk supply as we moved my kid to other foods.

Now my kid is 15 months. From the time she got pregnant (we calculated and it was on a trip) plus the 9 months she carried my boy we haven't got intimate at all. Mostly cos we were always tired and don't really have any mood. Thats almost 2 years? We don't even kiss.

Few weeks ago I was bored and dug out an old social network account. I logged on and saw that most of the people on that network were kids. All girly girls who type LIkE tHiS w0rZ. Damn turned off. Then someone's profile caught my eye. She sounded mature. Sounded intelligent. I did not care what she looked like as she had only one pic and was just black and white n couldn't really tell much. All I knew was she had long hair and big eyes. I sent her a message.

[BigBigDong]

Bro - make sure she is above 18.

Originally Posted by LeGarcon

Hi guys,

Something happened recently and my head is going to explode from all the things going on. I registered an account here to seek opinions from our brothers and sisters who might have been in the same situation. Anywhere else, I'm afraid I'll just be labeled a bastard and case closed.

I am married with a child. My child is still very young. We got married primarily because she got pregnant and because I love children. My wife and I had been together for more than 3 years when she got pregnant. So we just had a simple wedding and soon my bundle of joy is born.

My relationship with my wife was very good in the beginning (when we got together). She was understanding, smart and funny. We got along well but after about 2 years she showed a different side of her. She became demanding, spoilt and unreasonable at times. I thought I had given in to her too much and over pampered her. Apparently this was what happened to her ex too. Eventually he couldn't take her temper and demands and disappeared, along with some money borrowed from her to settle some stock problems.

I am known to be a very patient person. I decided to reason things out before I do anything drastic. In the end, her ways prevailed and we had a big quarrel. I didn't speak to her for a week and was comtemplating to have a bit of time off each other. She called me one afternoon and told me she was pregnant. Initially I was shocked. Definitely. But I decided it must be fate and began planning for the wedding with her and began to do all the things parents do to welcome their child.

During her pregnancy she wasn't that much more demanding than her usual self. I usually give in cos she always threatened me with the fact that she was the one carrying my child for 9 months and hence I should be extra nice to her. I understand her POV and of course gave in to her demands for massages, cravings etc.

Fast fwd a few months and my kid is born. I was tasked to do the night feedings. She had to express out her breastmilk cos my kid can't latch at all. So she expressed, i feed. And I bathe. And changed diapers. Basically apart from supplying my kid's source of nutrients she didn't do anything else. She was 'tired' all the time and again i gave in. Eventually she stopped her breastmilk supply as we moved my kid to other foods.

Now my kid is 15 months. From the time she got pregnant (we calculated and it was on a trip) plus the 9 months she carried my boy we haven't got intimate at all. Mostly cos we were always tired and don't really have any mood. Thats almost 2 years? We don't even kiss.

Few weeks ago I was bored and dug out an old social network account. I logged on and saw that most of the people on that network were kids. All girly girls who type LIkE tHiS w0rZ. Damn turned off. Then someone's profile caught my eye. She sounded mature. Sounded intelligent. I did not care what she looked like as she had only one pic and was just black and white n couldn't really tell much. All I knew was she had long hair and big eyes. I sent her a message.

[LeGarcon]

I must state this in advance, I really wasn't looking for an extramarital affair. Or a FB. My social life had been reduced to almost zero after my marriage. My wife and I barely talk about anything else apart from money, our kid and how she changed from an understanding person to a bloody unreasonable witch. We were arguing most of the time. If not for my child i wouldn't have to even put up with all these. I was craving for an outlet for my emotions.

We hit off quite well, my online friend, let's call her Belle. Over a few days we exchanged messages, talked about music, we talked about everything (except for sex, i steered clear of that). We clicked pretty well, she handled my kind of humor and she reciprocated. It's like I found my soulmate. Note that she wasn't the only one I talked to, I sent messages to other girls as well but they did not make any impact on me. I was sending her messages with the subtlest of sarcasms and she returned my shot with a barb of her own. It was like having conversational tennis.

One day she decided she hated refreshing her browser on her phone. I asked her okay, u prefer using msn to chat, "nah I don't use that anymore", she said. I suggested whatsapp and she was ok with it. At that point of time she was supposed to tell me stories about how guys try and impress her online.

Me: "hi Belle, it's LeGarcon here, so where are my stories??"

Belle: "I need a name."

Me: "what's wrong with using a nick?"

Belle: "insincere. Name pls."

I gave her my name and i started on a downhill journey.

[alan0338]

Originally Posted by LeGarcon

I sent her a message.

then then then???? pls dun leave us hanging 1/2 way hor ...

[jimz]

camping here

[Fade]

It's a vicious cycle..no matter who u met, WOman will never change her genes. That's life.

[wallace741852]

something is brewing.. setup up campfire .

[esssinine]

Women are like Men too. they can put up a good behavior act in the earlier stages of a relationship.
Who knows , she might turn up to be like your wife or even more bitchy.
If you rush into it then you might have another bad run.

[cuscorex92]

Originally Posted by esssinine

Women are like Men too. they can put up a good behavior act in the earlier stages of a relationship.
Who knows , she might turn up to be like your wife or even more bitchy.
If you rush into it then you might have another bad run.

totally agree,its thru time & s the tolerance/passion 2wards each other faded,all 'complaints' wil surface.

爱不只是欣赏对方的优点,也得包容对方的缺点

[fdome]

Originally Posted by esssinine

Women are like Men too. they can put up a good behavior act in the earlier stages of a relationship.
Who knows , she might turn up to be like your wife or even more bitchy.
If you rush into it then you might have another bad run.

Fully agree, all animals are similar ...

setup up my campfire .... more please ... everyday learn ..

[LeGarcon]

We chatted on whatsapp daily about mundane stuff and basically everything under the sun. She told me more about herself and her life. Most of our topics revolved around her somehow. I was subconsciously holding back about talking about myself. She was attached to someone, although she didn't see the relationship going anywhere. I teased her about her character. She did the same to me. We were talking like old friends although we had been chatting about 2 weeks, 3 weeks? I grew to anticipate her texts to me. It provided me with a getaway to another world where someone understood me.

One day she said maybe we should talk over the phone. I was taken aback. I wasn't prepared to do so. My main purpose of talking to her was just to have a chat buddy. That I was very sure of. I told her I had rules and that I had lost potential good friends after they meet up with me. that part is confirm, prior to her I was chatting with another girl and met her for a smoke. She never contacted me back after that possibly because I already told her I was married and perhaps cos I am not a good looking guy.

Belle asked me why was i so mysterious. I told her I had rules for online friends and that include no phone chats or meetups. She was fine with it.

*****************
To this point, I have to tell everyone that I'm not telling the whole story to get attention or make things juicy. In fact it is really boring as I just wanted to include the background as to why I got so attracted to her personality. Just wish to manage some expectations here.
*******************

She has to report to work early sometimes. Wake up at 6/7. One fateful day I woke up early as I couldn't sleep after feeding my boy milk at 5 am. I kept myself awake by playing games and Facebook. Wanted to be the first to text her when she wakes up. Shit i fell asleep and woke up later than expected. I texted her anyway.

"morning baby"

It came naturally. I added baby behind without much thought.

[Stimsia]

pass ctc over
i am single

[Gambit7]

Yo, i think ur problems might not be that bad compared to many others. U need to talk to ur wife about the problems that have been bothering u all this while. Ur relationship before marriage lasts for 3 years, which should give u enough time to see who she really is. I would suggest u be nice to ur wife and spell out all the problems and find the best available solution rather than just keep quiet and let her contemplating on her mistakes which she wouldn't understand if u don't explain to her. Regarding ur online friend, if u still love ur wife, don't create new problems when all u have to do is to solve the old problem first. U gotta be responsible and have respect for ur wife. Don't make this problem as an excuse to find a new girl and be a gentleman at the same time.

[LeGarcon]

Originally Posted by Gambit7

Yo, i think ur problems might not be that bad compared to many others. U need to talk to ur wife about the problems that have been bothering u all this while. Ur relationship before marriage lasts for 3 years, which should give u enough time to see who she really is. I would suggest u be nice to ur wife and spell out all the problems and find the best available solution rather than just keep quiet and let her contemplating on her mistakes which she wouldn't understand if u don't explain to her. Regarding ur online friend, if u still love ur wife, don't create new problems when all u have to do is to solve the old problem first. U gotta be responsible and have respect for ur wife. Don't make this problem as an excuse to find a new girl and be a gentleman at the same time.

Thanks for ur very constructive feedback bro Gambit7. My MIL actually told me herself before we got married, "don't give in too much to her. You will suffer." shes right. I have tried to solve the problem but in order for my family to function I have to endure. I do love my wife. Perhaps not passionately IN love with her anymore. And I have on many many occasions tried to reason with her. At times she'll understand. Most of the time we end up quarreling. If I can solve this problem, I would be a very happy man. But for the past couple months, the only time I was genuinely happy was when I hold my son.

My online friend is not an excuse to find a new girl. I didn't even meet her. I told her I was married at a point of time when I was guaranteed to be written off (when she was very vexed). In fact I WANT to treat her as a friend only, initially but as we talked more, I realized I have fallen for her. She herself said that I am probably in love with her character, not the person she is. She might be right.

I am not sure if she thinks this way (still) but for me our thoughts are pretty synced. That's why I naturally called her baby. That's why I naturally missed her. If I had wanted to bed her or have an affair, I wouldn't have told her i was married. I wouldn't have done something else (I will elaborate on further down). No other girls, online or in person has given me that kinda emotion.

Sorry for the interjection,

[playboybunny]

Kindly come back to reality.