Rough sex...or not?

[JustaGal]

Need advice from bros and sis here.

I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months. Everything goes well(hmm...maybe not) untill now.

I do enjoy our sex life, especially rough sex. Well...it is not really that rough. He does not pull my hair or spank me. He juz penetrate really hard n sometimes tie my hands or something.

I do enjoy it alot if Im in the mood and i feel myself very wet. Both of us will enact rape scene. And Im a person who never hide my joy. I will always tell him during the session that I love him "raping" me. I fantasise myself to be raped occasionally because I believe this kind of imgination will spice up the sex life when both parties feel comfortable.

Then here comes one of our love making sessions. I was sleeping. And I could feel his urge. But I was tired and dry. He tried to help me to get wet by fingering and licking. But I was still dry. He couldnt wait. He rode me then kinda force him into me...I had to say that I dont feel excited at all. Instead I felt painful. I kept telling him "It hurts! It hurts!". But he didnt stop. He continued pushing in and pulling out...Slowly my pussy got wet but not my heart! I kept telling him to be gentle since he was already inside. But he kept pushing hard.

I dont know if he misinterpreted my signal but I did show my refusal: I didnt kiss him; I called out his full name(I only do it when people piss me off);
I didnt cooperate with him by acting like a dead fish(I will never do it during our regular "raping" session). Then he tried to kiss me. I strongly refused of course and said coldly:"I hate you."

He was surprised I guess...then he got up and dressed up. Slam the door and left.

It kinda happened before...but I could bear them since they were not that bad...I tried hard to please him sometimes. But this time is...different. Somehow I cant tell the reason. And I cant defind it. I read one sis's post in SBF talking about the high sex drive of her bf. He always wanted to hav sex with the girl and did 2 times a day. I cant find the post and link it here. But thats more or less what my bf do to me as well....Do you guys force(half foece?) the ladies to hav sex? Any sis here hav the similar experience?

What should I do?

Thanks in advance.

Cheers

[henry_ang10]

Originally Posted by JustaGal

Need advice from bros and sis here.

I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months. Everything goes well(hmm...maybe not) untill now.

I do enjoy our sex life, especially rough sex. Well...it is not really that rough. He does not pull my hair or spank me. He juz penetrate really hard n sometimes tie my hands or something.

I do enjoy it alot if Im in the mood and i feel myself very wet. Both of us will enact rape scene. And Im a person who never hide my joy. I will always tell him during the session that I love him "raping" me. I fantasise myself to be raped occasionally because I believe this kind of imgination will spice up the sex life when both parties feel comfortable.

Then here comes one of our love making sessions. I was sleeping. And I could feel his urge. But I was tired and dry. He tried to help me to get wet by fingering and licking. But I was still dry. He couldnt wait. He rode me then kinda force him into me...I had to say that I dont feel excited at all. Instead I felt painful. I kept telling him "It hurts! It hurts!". But he didnt stop. He continued pushing in and pulling out...Slowly my pussy got wet but not my heart! I kept telling him to be gentle since he was already inside. But he kept pushing hard.

I dont know if he misinterpreted my signal but I did show my refusal: I didnt kiss him; I called out his full name(I only do it when people piss me off);
I didnt cooperate with him by acting like a dead fish(I will never do it during our regular "raping" session). Then he tried to kiss me. I strongly refused of course and said coldly:"I hate you."

He was surprised I guess...then he got up and dressed up. Slam the door and left.

It kinda happened before...but I could bear them since they were not that bad...I tried hard to please him sometimes. But this time is...different. Somehow I cant tell the reason. And I cant defind it. I read one sis's post in SBF talking about the high sex drive of her bf. He always wanted to hav sex with the girl and did 2 times a day. I cant find the post and link it here. But thats more or less what my bf do to me as well....Do you guys force(half foece?) the ladies to hav sex? Any sis here hav the similar experience?

What should I do?

Thanks in advance.

Cheers

No... a guy should never force himself on the gal. No respect for the gal. So I think he takes you for a sex machine only. Shame on him. He should have stopped when you say it hurts.

[zeus]

Talk it out. Tell him how you feel, like what you are doing here.
You mentioned he just dressed up and left. Perhaps he was 'confused' by your mixed signals. First you told him you like to be "raped", next you are telling him that you hate him.

[Kilograms]

that dis respectful of him. he probably feel not shiok after you refuse his action, that cause him to lose he's pride or something like dat...but he'll get by....next time you initiate sex and see what happens...but be prepare, it'll be even more rougher.

[jcum]

Think u guys better have a heart to heart talk....believe a clear communication on when "rape" is the agenda for the night/day be defined and followed...anything else should be normal sensual session !

[bastardball]

To be honest, some guys feel more excited and turned on when the gal says "slower" or "pain" or "it hurts"....so that the guy is sadomasochistic, it may make him feel more "man" when he is pumping you roughly...its just a prove of his manhood that his downunder is big enough to cause some form of sensation for you, be it pleasure or pain....I know because my dick is small and when a girl tells me slower or pain pain, I kinda feel more "man" and "turned on".....

That's my own point of view though....

[ddog]

Female species sometimes feels like doing it and sometimes don't when the time doesn't feel right, such as too tired, no mood (cycle related), etc. A guy should be matured enough to respect that. If he doesn't, then he's prob not matured enough.

[Lionrod32]

U should tell him when you are in the mood and to signal for him to fully penetrate when you are ready ..... U should have a good chat with your bf so that he knows your true feeling ,.. My two cents

[peanut123]

TS, your bf is a selfish ass who only cares about his own pleasure, even at the expense of your pain. Frankly, if you told him no and he still goes ahead, that's rape. I think its a sign that he does not really care about you. No man will force himself on the girl he loves.

And for him to go storming off after sex without even trying to find out what made you upset speaks volumes abt his attitude.

You need to talk to him about it. If he still does not change, then look for someone better.

[Tomb]

I guess he really misinterpret your initial signals since u mentioned u are into rough sex. He might just think its one of those days when u are play-acting with him.

Talk to him and let him know when its time to be serious and stop and draw the line and when's the time to role-play.

Hope u 2 are better.

[nicole79]

hi sis..

sex must be enjoyable by both parties....he is too selfhish ...

[mldue]

when you both understand about engaging in role play, especially those edging towards sm or some pain/discomfort involved, do ready a "keyword" to signify stop. should be distinct and not something that can be mistaken.

if all else in the relationship is good, i'm more inclined to suggest you try to sort out what could really just be a misundertanding.

[smoofdeek]

I guess it's an unfortunate case of fantasy and consent being misinterpreted. I think he should have known when to stop when you called out his full name. It's important to establish mutual understanding when it comes to these things, my fb and I have our own "word" when the boundaries are crossed, it sometimes happens. You gotta talk to your bf seriously if you want to continue the relationship. If he still don't understand, he'd make the same mistake again, and again.

[tigerprawn]

Sis, basically it comes down to this: you and your bf dont know each other well enough. Do not mistake sexual intimacy with spiritual bonding like he is your soul mate or something. Obviously, you do not know him well enough that you were surprised and confused why he forced himself on you. And obviously he doesnt know you well enough to know when you are really pissed off and when you are role playing - or maybe he doesnt care enough. Moral of the story: you have to face the reality that this relationship you are in now may not be the bed of roses you imagine or assumed it to be - you think you are in love but seriously...... does he love you enough to feel and bother to know or care when you are really hurting or pissed off. And just getting up, dress and walk out slam the door...... only an asshole would do that after fucking the girl he supposedly loves.

Don't just focus on the sex part how he may misinterpret role playing. You might want to focus more on the bigger picture here - your relationship. This incident discloses a deeper inherent issue in your relationship. Do you seriously want to spend your ever after with this guy? There is no right or wrong answer to this question. Only what kind of guy you really want in your life. And look at the facts (NOT your assumptions) whether he is really this guy or not.

[Firssue]

TS why not try to push him away the next time he does this or slap him? No offense because feel that he is not respecting you at all.. We girls have our rights too! We are not sex machines..