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#1
28-07-2008, 02:55 PM
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Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Dear All bros,
This is my first time posting in this section. Hope you guyz out there can give some advice... Especially by those who've been to the process of divorce... Knew this girl in 1997, start dating during 2000. Got ROM on 2002, and custom marriage during 2004. However, due to some unforseen circumstances, we divorced during March 2007. Only recently during Dec 2007, everything have been finalised... Since then, been dating a few girls, but somehow to no outcome. I began thinking of myself. And seems that lost interest/scare of marriage/commiting anymore. Wonder if any bros facing the same problem? I do hope to have a stable gf, and to settle down someday. But it seems is very difficult for me. Everytime I date a girl, I started to have fobil in being with her again. I'm really afraid that she will be like my ex wife, who did something wrong to me. But yet, I keep on bedding other people gf/wife... I knew its wrong, but I keep on doing it... I don't know why sometimes too... And recently, I got a married girl pregnant.... She told me not to disclose it, and said that the kids is her husband de... but somehow, I can't seems let go... Is that a revenge? or am I just a bastard? Any advice for me? 
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#2
28-07-2008, 09:54 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Yo bro, this is no place for morals and i am not going to give u a lecture on morals.
You have been through a rough patch in life, and now u are in a "letting go kind of" behaviour. Nothing wrong in that and i do not judge you on the deeds u mentioned. (unless one of them is my gf, now that is a different story) However we must be responsible for our actions no matter the reason or circumstances that force us into it. And when the time calls for it, if ever, you will have to answer for ur actions. You can choose to indulge yourself in this mourning stage but understand that moving forward is what separates the winners from the whiners/losers. Best of luck dude.
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#3
01-08-2008, 12:12 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
So long as still interested in women you are still alright.
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#4
01-08-2008, 05:15 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Quote:
Dont understand what you cannot let go ... ?? Anyway, am sure if you just be trustful of the ger .... you will be able to find one that suits you ...
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#5
02-08-2008, 11:29 AM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Quote:
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#6
02-08-2008, 12:41 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Quote:
Attached to those memories are also experience. Lessons that you've learnt those experience, unfortunately, would be lost as well. Thats why a person always change after he or she recovers from an ordeal, its becos the some of the fundamental rules (in thinking) which were derived from those experience are no longer there. Problem is that, sometimes we can't even recognise ourselves after we have changed, and go thru another process of normalising new rules. You see a new 'you', but you can't see you in the new 'you'. So the key to this, and probably the answer to your question is, the influences you got during the recovery process is crucial in forming the new 'you'. And put it this way, this is the only good news among your loss. Becos we readily suck up experience during the recovery and normalising new rules, surround yourself with happy people, successful people and non-judgemental people. Make sure you keep yourself happy (read: not by boozing or drugs) and you might even emerge a better person. This is probably the hardest part, but you need to bypass your desire to mellow in the dark. It is okay to doubt yourself during this stage, but it is important to put that aside and just go enjoy other parts of life, like friendships and kinship. All you need to do is to force yourself to be among your people, force yourself to smile, to be silly and just laugh it off. Very soon, you'll reach a point where you can look back and take everything in without feeling sad, and understand that all these are just part of life that makes it eventful for you. Hope this helps man. Take care.
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#7
02-08-2008, 01:30 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
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i think it is a very irresponsible act on your part and the married lady to do that....if u were her husband.... how will u feel. I think she should go for abortion...ie find a reason to convince her hubby. Believe in Karma.... what goes around, comes around. sorry din mean to be bad.
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#8
02-08-2008, 03:42 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Pls stop doing fooling around with these girls if u cannot clear up your state of mind. U could be creating more harm than your ex-wife did to u! The most sad thing is u are involved with a married woman and made her pregnant!!!
 Quote:
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#9
02-08-2008, 04:27 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Bro, go for a pyschiatrist session. I'm not saying you are ill. But it may help you getting to know why you're behaving this way. Hope it helps
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#10
02-08-2008, 04:32 PM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
You have to let go of your past before you can move on. Otherwise, I doubt even any good gal can hang out long with you.
Take care bro
__________________
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner Retired Samster
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#11
04-08-2008, 11:07 AM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Think you need to solve the married woman carrying your baby problem soon, before its too late.
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#12
04-08-2008, 11:15 AM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
thx to all bros that give me advice/flaming... Really appreciate your help... And will think carefully too
Specially to Bro colins, Many thanks of your advice. Will cheer up and get on with my life...
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#13
05-08-2008, 12:32 AM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
Bro: there is only one way out . that is apologise to the gals. Say sorry to the gals that you make love with.. Kneel down and ask for forgiveness. Its wrong to have sex with other people's wife or gal friend. In the days of old days Isreal .. BC : people who do that be stoned to death. If u are a buddhist , u go to temple and eat vegetables for 3 months.. let yr heart be clean .. If u are a christian , ask god for forgiveness.. U follow my words. U say , lord i am a sinner.. my heart is unclean.. please lord forgive me for my lust.. Jesus please forgive me for what i did, let the blood of jesus flow onto me and cleanse me clean right now. Bro : from now on dont lust onto other gals.. be a good man .. and god will bring someone into your life!
Take care!
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#14
05-08-2008, 12:41 AM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
I dun understand the part when you said your wife did something wrong to you and now you are making other people's wife do something wrong against their husbands? Hmm.. its such a huge contradiction..
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#15
06-08-2008, 02:56 AM
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Re: Lost interest in commitment/marriage...
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__________________
Going for millenium break! 1000 points. Anyone who helps, favour will be returned. I am a sucka for beautiful babes! any to share? 
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