Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Hurricane88]

When the new school year started the history teacher was so excited because there were three little Indian boys in her class. She was beside herself with excitement.
So she asks the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how he knows this.
The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest and takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, "I am a Cherokee. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says son, you see all this land. This is Cherokee land. So, I know I am a Cherokee".
The teacher says very good and asks the next little Indian boy to stand. The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest, takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, "I am a Comanche. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says son, you see all this land. This is Comanche land. So, I know I am a Comanche".
The teacher is growing more excited by the moment and asks the last little Indian boy to stand up. The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest, takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, "I am a F*ckawee."
The teacher looks dumb founded. She says, "I don't think there is any such tribe as the F*ckawee."
The little boy says, "My Father and I walked for many days and many nights. And many nights and many days. We ran out of water, but we kept walking. With no rest, we were getting weary. Finally, one day my Father stops and with his hand to shield the sun from his eyes, looks around. "He said hmm, where the F*ckawee?"

Have a great week boys 😊

[Hurricane88]

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.
"Who never talks back to mother? and
"Who does everything mother says?"
Five small voices replied in unison: "Okay daddy! You get the toy."

*Happy Father's Day*

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for nice jokes.

[Hurricane88]

For a good laugh🤣

Raj worked in a mango pickle factory.

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the mango slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Raj to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Malar, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Raj tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the mango slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Malar gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the mango slicer?"

Raj replied, "She got fired, too."

[Hurricane88]

From a Sikh in Singapore 👇

Don’t pray pray with Covid19 according to Phua Chu Kang aka Gurmit Singh. The Indian variant is so transmissible that even if you received the Pun jab you must not be off-guard to be Relax Singh.

If you catch Covid and fall Sikh, you may not only lose your smell of curry but end up in a korma in the hospital ICU where oxygen availability is naan.

It is amaz-singh if you think only Sikh patients can be admitted to Tan Tock Singh Hospital here in Singhapore!

From an anti-vaxxer Sikh: “One of the side-effects of the vaccine from Pun-jab, may make my head go Kepala Pu-Singh! You still have to be social distan-Singh with no relax-Singh ... isn’t this amaz-Singh?"

😂😊🎉🤣👏🏻

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[mgmail]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

From a Sikh in Singapore 👇

Don’t pray pray with Covid19 according to Phua Chu Kang aka Gurmit Singh. The Indian variant is so transmissible that even if you received the Pun jab you must not be off-guard to be Relax Singh.

If you catch Covid and fall Sikh, you may not only lose your smell of curry but end up in a korma in the hospital ICU where oxygen availability is naan.

It is amaz-singh if you think only Sikh patients can be admitted to Tan Tock Singh Hospital here in Singhapore!

From an anti-vaxxer Sikh: “One of the side-effects of the vaccine from Pun-jab, may make my head go Kepala Pu-Singh! You still have to be social distan-Singh with no relax-Singh ... isn’t this amaz-Singh?"

😂😊🎉🤣👏🏻

Haha he is also a speedster Singh

[SBMEDSUP]

All the Singhs jokes.

[databridge]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

For a good laugh🤣

Raj worked in a mango pickle factory.

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the mango slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Raj to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day he came home from work very early. His wife, Malar, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Raj tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the mango slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

Malar gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the mango slicer?"

Raj replied, "She got fired, too."

Very nice share bro, LMAO

[Hurricane88]

THIS ONE IS REALLY GOOD.

WONDER WHO WROTE THIS? FROM AFRICAN POLITICS?

*What is the difference between an Ordinary Thief (OT) and a Political Thief (PT)?*

1.The *Ordinary Thief* steals your money,
bag,
watch,
gold chain etc.

But,

The *Political Thief* steals your future,
career,
education,
health and business !

2. The hilarious part is: ..
The *Ordinary Thief* will choose whom to rob.
But, you yourself choose the *Political Thief* to rob you.

3. The most ironic one: ..
Police will chase and nab the *Ordinary Thief.*

But,

Police will look after and protect the *Political Thief!*
That’s the travesty and irony of our current society !

And, we blindly say we are not blind !

4. The stupid part of the whole issue is that we insult and fight the *Ordinary Thief* but we Fight each other for the *Political Thief*

👍 Too good not to share.

[Hurricane88]

Francisco D'Mello from Anjuna, Goa, died young and left his vast coconut estate to his devoted wife Veronica.

Veronica was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the properties, but knew very little about coconut farming, so she spread the word that she needed a man to look after the estate.

Two men applied for the job. One was the local drunk handyman,
Sebastio, and the other was the openly gay ex-tiatrist Benedict.

Veronica thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied for the job she decided to hire Benedict, figuring it would be safer to have a gay around the house than a drunk.

Benedict proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about caring for coconut trees.
For weeks, the two of them worked side by side, and the coconut plantation was soon flourishing.

Then one Saturday the widow Veronica said to Benedict,
"You have done a really good job, and the farm and the coconut trees look great. You should take a break and go to Panjim and have a good time. Maybe watch a theatre or go for a dance. Here's some money. Have a blast!"

Benedict readily agreed and went into town that Saturday night.

One o'clock came and no Benedict

Two o'clock and no Benedict.

Finally Benedict returned around two-thirty in the morning, and upon
entering the room, he found the widow Veronica sitting in the candlelit hall with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed..

'Now take off my shoes.'

He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

'Now take off my stockings.'

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt.'

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the candlelight.

'Now take off my bra.'

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to
the floor.

Then she looked at him and said,

*If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.


Bet you were still thinking Benedict was undressing Veronica..😄

[Hurricane88]

She married and had 13 children.

Then her husband died.

She married again and had 7 more children.

Again, her husband died.

She remarried a third time and had 5 more children.

After a long life, she finally died after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the priest prayed for her.

He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said: "Lord, they're finally together".

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend: "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband".?

The friend replied: "I think he meant her legs"..!


😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Hurricane88]

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees and the next day he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Ok, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one in the middle."

He was surprised that his mother was so easily able to guess the correct woman. He asked, "How did you know !"

The mother replies, "I don't like her !"

😂😂😂

[signo]