Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[otoyceking]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus.

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.An old friend who once saved your life.

The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading.

This is a moral / ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.-
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.-
Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.-
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered:"I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital.I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.

Sometimes,we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box.

HOWEVER, the correct answer is - ta da:

To run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have s e x with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

Last answer is the best haha

[diputs1269]

Friday laughter bump.

[bigbirdbird]

"My but you look different today Claudia." commented Rene to her co-worker.

"Your hair is extra curly, and you have this wide-eyed look. What did you use -- special curlers and some dramatic eye make-up ?"

"No !" replied Claudia.

"My damn vibrator shorted out this morning."

[ilovelife.now]

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?

I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don’t know either!

=================================

Great gran had 5 kids in 4 years. No tv. Gran had 5 kids in 10 years. Tv. Mom had 2 kids in 12 years. Cable. I had 1 kid at 34. Internet! Next gen will have VR kids.

[ilovelife.now]

While shopping in a huge suburban mall, a man gets separated from his wife...

He starts wandering around looking in each shop, trying to locate her. As he's scanning the crowd he notices another guy who seems as lost as he is.

He asks the guy, "Are you lost, buddy?" The guy says, "Not really, I'm trying to find my wife."

"What a coincidence so am I. Let's swap wife details so if we see each other's better half, we can let them know the other is looking for her."

"Great idea, I'll go first. My wife is about 5' 10" with long blonde hair and ridiculously long legs, which will be easy see because she's wearing a tiny leather miniskirt and stilettos. Not that you'll notice any of that with her boobs busting out of her tube top like they do. So what's your wife look like?"

"Aww, nevermind my wife, let's look for yours!"

[etsys]

Haha
.

[z0z0]

Originally Posted by etsys

Haha
.

RLMAO thank you so much.

[zzstop]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

what a joke...

Very nice and thank you so much.

[augusta]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

A Lady traffic police got married, and on the next morning after her 1st night in bed with her husband, gave him a saman of Rm1000/-.

Husband in shock asked why ?

She replies:
Over Speed = 100
Wrong side = 300
Repeated horn pressing = 200
Not using helmet = 400

Nice joke bro bigbigbird.
Thank you and pls post more jokes.

[zoof8zang]

Originally Posted by ilovelife.now

While shopping in a huge suburban mall, a man gets separated from his wife...
"

Very good joke. Tks very much.

[ransumwear]

Originally Posted by etsys

Haha
.

Very nice share bro, thanks!!

[vasewang]

Originally Posted by ilovelife.now

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?

I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don’t know either!

=================================

Great gran had 5 kids in 4 years. No tv. Gran had 5 kids in 10 years. Tv. Mom had 2 kids in 12 years. Cable. I had 1 kid at 34. Internet! Next gen will have VR kids.

Wahahaaha short and simple joke. Thanks!!

[Hurricane88]

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
'What was that for?' he asked.
'That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings, ' he explained.
'Oh darling, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation.'
Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, 'What was that for?'
'Your horse phoned'
😂😂

[AsiaFenceStreet]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
'What was that for?' he asked.
'That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings, ' he explained.
'Oh darling, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation.'
Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, 'What was that for?'
'Your horse phoned'
😂😂

FAMROL so funny, thanks!

[Hurricane88]

*Virginity Test*

*Son* : Dad,I want to marry, how can I know if my wife is a virgin?

*Dad* : Do virginity test..

*Son* : What do you mean?

*Dad* : Buy a red and blue paint

*Son* : How can that help?

*Dad* : Paint your left ball with the blue paint,and your right ball with the red paint,when you want to have sex,remove your underwear;
If she says , *"I've never seen strange balls like these in my life, that means she's not a Virgin.. Case closed*
😁😅😂🤣