Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[bigbirdbird]

The Elderly Irish Virgin


In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very proud of it.

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she died, she went to the town's undertaker, (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper "final" arrangements.

As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:

"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN."

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.

A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen.

He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request,considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.

For days, he agonized over the dilemma; but finally, his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows: "RETURNED UNOPENED"

[bigbirdbird]

Dad's Explanation


Son: "Dad, why does love-making make you feels good?"

Dad: "Just like digging in your nose, it's feels good, right!"

Son: "Why is it that guys don't usually feel as good as gals?"

Dad: "Just like when you dig in your nose, it's your nose that feels good, not your finger!"

Son: "Then why do gals feel bad when they are raped?"

Dad: "If a stranger comes along and digs in your nose, will you feel the same way?"

Son: "When girls are having their menstruation, why don't they usually want to have sex?"

Dad: "If your nose is bleeding, will you still want your nose to be dug?"

Son: "Dad, one last question ... why don't guys like to wear condoms when they make love?"

Dad: "Would you want to wear a glove when you dig your nose?"

[bigbirdbird]

A little girl is playing with two dolls and her mom comes into the room to see what she is doing.

The mother sees her daughter has a Barbie and a G.I.Joe doll.

"What are you doing with your brother's G.I. Joe, tootsie?" asks the mother.

"Where's your Ken doll? You know Barbie comes with Ken."

"No, mother," explains the little girl without looking up. "Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken."

[Snoll]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Dad's Explanation


Son: "Dad, why does love-making make you feels good?"

Dad: "Just like digging in your nose, it's feels good, right!"

Son: "Why is it that guys don't usually feel as good as gals?"

Dad: "Just like when you dig in your nose, it's your nose that feels good, not your finger!"

Son: "Then why do gals feel bad when they are raped?"

Dad: "If a stranger comes along and digs in your nose, will you feel the same way?"

Son: "When girls are having their menstruation, why don't they usually want to have sex?"

Dad: "If your nose is bleeding, will you still want your nose to be dug?"

Son: "Dad, one last question ... why don't guys like to wear condoms when they make love?"

Dad: "Would you want to wear a glove when you dig your nose?"

Very good answers from the Dad

[otamay]

Bump up for more nice jokes.

[naysmith]

Originally Posted by otamay

Bump up for more nice jokes.

return 18 shockers

[WhiterSky]

Very nice thread, thanks bros!

[Hurricane88]

X ray joke...



Medicine joke...

[4707030319]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

X ray joke...



Medicine joke...

So damn funny jokes.
Thanks bro.
Hope to read more.

[godwit]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

The Elderly Irish Virgin


In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very proud of it.

Well done and nice joke bro
Cheers for more jokes.

[washer]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

A little girl is playing with two dolls and her mom comes into the room to see what she is doing.

The mother sees her daughter has a Barbie and a G.I.Joe doll.

"What are you doing with your brother's G.I. Joe, tootsie?" asks the mother.

"Where's your Ken doll? You know Barbie comes with Ken."

"No, mother," explains the little girl without looking up. "Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken."

Abstract joke.
Thanks for nice joke.

[CharcoalMiner]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

X ray joke...



Medicine joke...

Really very fun jokes, thanks bro for sharing. Wishing for more.

[idioliticfool]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

A little girl is playing with two dolls and her mom comes into the room to see what she is doing.

The mother sees her daughter has a Barbie and a G.I.Joe doll.

"What are you doing with your brother's G.I. Joe, tootsie?" asks the mother.

"Where's your Ken doll? You know Barbie comes with Ken."

"No, mother," explains the little girl without looking up. "Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken."

Very good joke.
Thanks for nice share.

[NorthEastBrom]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Dad's Explanation


Son: "Dad, why does love-making make you feels good?"

Dad: "Just like digging in your nose, it's feels good, right!"

Son: "Why is it that guys don't usually feel as good as gals?"

Dad: "Just like when you dig in your nose, it's your nose that feels good, not your finger!"

Son: "Then why do gals feel bad when they are raped?"

Dad: "If a stranger comes along and digs in your nose, will you feel the same way?"

Son: "When girls are having their menstruation, why don't they usually want to have sex?"

Dad: "If your nose is bleeding, will you still want your nose to be dug?"

Son: "Dad, one last question ... why don't guys like to wear condoms when they make love?"

Dad: "Would you want to wear a glove when you dig your nose?"

Very nice share. 3 rounds of applause

[JonHope]

Originally Posted by pomrakthai

This is for Pipi Dyelook:

Hahaha now I know too