I caught my hubby

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by procum

sometimes act out what we learn from porn, have sex while watching porn. Although we are happy, we do get the feeling of wanting to improve on our sex life. I know that my wife wants to try threesome - MMF, while I want FFM and try ladies with E cup or at least DD cup breasts.

At least you have a wife that is proactive and believe in improving both your sex life, unfortunately there are also many like mine who thinks that sex is a dirty thing, no fingering, no bj etc. even porn to her are for perverts...and trying to have sex to her is like the mating dance of the male praying mantis, one wrong move and its get it head snap off...that how its like with my oc..so why the hassle, we men also got our pride....best option is to fuck and forget...a regular FB would be ideal but then realistically in the long run, you can never keep it as a NSA affair, no matter how feelings will develop and that when it gets real messy..

[nutman38]

Originally Posted by HonkyTonkyMan

At least you have a wife that is proactive and believe in improving both your sex life, unfortunately there are also many like mine who thinks that sex is a dirty thing, no fingering, no bj etc. even porn to her are for perverts...and trying to have sex to her is like the mating dance of the male praying mantis, one wrong move and its get it head snap off...that how its like with my oc

Haha, how come your wife sounds like mine.
We already have 2 young kids but she too thinks sex is dirty, no fingering and no BJ either.
And every time if I want sex, I must treat her super nice or else is a NO NO.
Is like I need to beg her every time. sigh....
So what can I do, I just go out once every 2 weeks, pay $150 and live like a King for 1 hour...

[procum]

Some how I feel for the guys that mention their wives' issues. That's why I mentioned that everyone is different.

I use to go to the same massage lady last time. She was good with JG and since that is a skill many ML lacked, I followed when she hopped from shop to shop. Eventually, she let me have sex with her right after JG to ensure quality But she has 'issues' too, she had a nice pair of tits but she refused to give me boobF. Her BBBJ was really good and had a different style from my wife but she don't let me cum in her mouth (my wife swallows every single drop). The classic moment is when she tell me it is sick to CIM.

So I can understand why guys 'eat' out. Women wise, I think I am in no position to criticize. Some girls are more adventurous and some are downright pervert, I won't meet girls that treasure their chastity because of the places I hunt. I just feel that if women find out that their man stray, stare at 3 things -

1) Stare long and hard into a full size mirror and compare it with her first photo taken with her husband (ex-boyfriend photo lar)

2) Stare deep into her own sole (not hole) and try to recall all the excuses, extra boliao efforts made to refuse her husband's advances on her to get close (like a anti-missile system..erm.. missile). Then try to remember her husband's facial expression from disappointment to blank off then to stop trying.

3) Stare into her closet and find at least a piece of lingerie that was used purely for sex, that sends a direct signal to her man 'hey big guy, it's time for sex'. And if she had worn it since her last period.

I think I might be quite extreme here and will put a lot of 'OK' condition marriage in danger. One thing to note, my wife use to be like that too. She gags on my dick(not because its big) as if she is sucking rotting duck neck, she used to hate the smell of sperm (not to mention the taste), she thinks licking pussy is a dirty thing and we never have sex in more than 2 positions (usually starts and ends in the same position).

I put in the effort, I made her to the same. She realized that being active in the bedroom does not equate to being a slut, she gained more respect from me and opened up another form of communication channel. Bringing a barely used pussy to the grave doesn't guarantee her a sweet afterlife, making me serve and want her is sweet now. Some of her thinking took years to change, some quicker. Some new tricks was learned from the gals we hired during our 3some. She still looks serious during office hour and guai guai during family gatherings, but when at home when curtains drawn.... work it out folks... much can be done.

[fictionman]

Originally Posted by nutman38

Haha, how come your wife sounds like mine.
We already have 2 young kids but she too thinks sex is dirty, no fingering and no BJ either.
And every time if I want sex, I must treat her super nice or else is a NO NO.
Is like I need to beg her every time. sigh....
So what can I do, I just go out once every 2 weeks, pay $150 and live like a King for 1 hour...

My case is totally the opposite...My wife wats sex but its me who nvr give her...why?...I dont knw also...Still love her just tt the intimacy part is long gone...I dun ustand also...But i eat outside...sigh...My sex drive is still ok for a 40+ guy...But hv slow down the past year...

Mayb sex wz wife is mundane...No variety...Eat outside wz WL is great coz they provide variety...Make us feel like a pornstar for just the 1 hr...But aft cum, i go back home being a "good husband" again...Use to hv a fb for 2 yrs...But feelings develop so i ended it...If not sure got problems...So now when im in the mood,i will look up WL do sextify me wz no strings attach....Fuck,pay & forget



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[broessex]

Originally Posted by HonkyTonkyMan

At least you have a wife that is proactive and believe in improving both your sex life, unfortunately there are also many like mine who thinks that sex is a dirty thing, no fingering, no bj etc. even porn to her are for perverts...and trying to have sex to her is like the mating dance of the male praying mantis, one wrong move and its get it head snap off...that how its like with my oc..so why the hassle, we men also got our pride....best option is to fuck and forget...a regular FB would be ideal but then realistically in the long run, you can never keep it as a NSA affair, no matter how feelings will develop and that when it gets real messy..

Ehhh... same like mine. When I want, I have to do the whole romantic dinner, treat her ultra nice, etc etc but one slip and it's over. Can forget about sex for one week. But when she want, I have to turn on my switch to make it happen, or else no dinner for a week (or something). lol

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by broessex

Ehhh... same like mine. When I want, I have to do the whole romantic dinner, treat her ultra nice, etc etc but one slip and it's over. Can forget about sex for one week. But when she want, I have to turn on my switch to make it happen, or else no dinner for a week (or something). lol

In your case at least she still wants it, mine totally not active. Try to pet, caress, hug, kena fuck back say finds it irritating. At one stage of my life, felt into depression and bro its no joke when you start to question your own manhood, is the problem with me..etc but i soon realize its her lost not mine...doesn't matter to me if society deemed me immoral disgusting sinner, hell who cares, I live only once, don't want to regret when the last day of my life i start to think back of the, what if and only ifs of my life...

[cunnilinguslove]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I know this probably belongs to some women forum but I figure why not ask the men themselves.

Long story short, I found out that my husband has been seeing prostitutes in the last 2.5 years and flipped out. He said he's sorry and will not do that again. He's willing to let me monitor all his finance and online/phone activities.

I'm pretty sure my husband is not the first men to have been caught. To those who have been caught, did you really change?

I want to know whether I can trust him that he will not do that again.

Based on what you mention about visiting prostitutes, I doubt you would ever want to let him touch you again. Which means, you're likely to be room mates and then that would push him back to his old ways.

Whether or not you can trust him, sometimes your 6th sense can answer better than any of us here. You probably have an answer, just that you're looking for affirmation here. I say, go with your 6th sense, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do ...

[Cignobilis]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I'm pretty sure my husband is not the first men to have been caught. To those who have been caught, did you really change?

No, I became smarter and more careful nowadays.
I was not really caught but some relative saw me going into a condo during office hour and alerted her.

My advise is close 1 eye.

[Piper888]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I know this probably belongs to some women forum but I figure why not ask the men themselves.

Long story short, I found out that my husband has been seeing prostitutes in the last 2.5 years and flipped out. He said he's sorry and will not do that again. He's willing to let me monitor all his finance and online/phone activities.

I'm pretty sure my husband is not the first men to have been caught. To those who have been caught, did you really change?

I want to know whether I can trust him that he will not do that again.

Honestly? Ask yourself whether you ultimately can accept the fact that he had been paying for and having random sex outside. It's either you can or cannot accept. The rest of your decision will follow.
Life is too short to waste your time monitoring a person who don't respect(or love you) enough to stay faithful.
I hope I don't touch on a sore point but whenever I'm in contact or being intimate with a married man, I always have the exact same thought which is "I will never want to be married to you". It's double standard but when I am with other people's husband, i also don't want my future Husband to be like that.

No matter how sorry or remorseful your husband is now, i really do not think he will change. There is something lacking in the marriage already and cracks cannot be mended just by being in denial and pretending everything is ok.
You'll be better off having a second shot for happiness after divorce. He can go fuck all the prostitutes he wants.
Good luck and genuinely all the best to you whatever decision you make.

[ibanezjem555]

Originally Posted by hiswife

Thanks for sharing your experience. My hubby and I are trying to do what you've done, rebuilding and reconnecting. Hopefully we'll have positive results, like you and your wife.

I'm not losing my cool with my hubby though. I'm treating him like king now. Likewise, he's treating me like queen too. It's never my plan to belittle him into submission. I'm trying to win his heart but only if he's doing the same thing.

Btw, he was the first to find out details about divorce. He knew I could be leaving and he has 2 friends who are already divorced. I only looked up the details after he told me about it.

Hi Sis TS,

If there is a chance to patch up, patch up even if it for sake of kids and getting rid of a dark shadow in one's life. Shadows can only disappear of there is light.

I am really happy that he is treating you like a Queen and you are treating him like a King. Try writing what makes you think you are treating him like a King and write what he does that makes you feel a Queen. Then, get him to do the same. Exchange the notes. (No judgement, no comments allowed for 10 minutes as both of you read)

Good to hear that both of you are making efforts to patch up. This can be seen clearly as you came into this unknown forum to not only find out more, but also ask from opposite gender.

And you are not a slut or worse than a slut for doing this. In fact, this shows that you have feelings for your hubby and kids, and you really want to make your marriage work (and even sacrifice your esteem), for you to take such a step.

Keep working at it Sis !

Rock On

[hella21]

One of the hardest things you may ever do is find it within yourself to forgive your spouse after they cheat on you. But realize that the act of forgiveness is something that will make your life better and has nothing to do with the other person. Forgiving your spouse can be a very difficult thing to do, but it is beneficial for you in order to heal from the trauma and move on with your life with or without your partner.

But forgiving often proves to be more challenging than you think! Offering forgiveness is a worthwhile feat. Forgiveness builds you up!

Forgiveness Is Not Condoning Or Justifying. Firstly, let’s realize that when you forgive your spouse for cheating, you’re not condoning the behavior. So many people believe if they forgive someone for a wrong done to them that means they’re saying it’s okay that they did it. No. That is not the case. It’s also not a way to justify what the person did to wrong you. Nothing can make what happened go away, or change the wrongness of it.

When you’re going through adultery issues, forgiving your spouse is very difficult, but necessary. The reason is that when you truly forgive someone you can move on from the past and the hostility that you feel when you think of their actions and finally move toward a better relationship with your spouse.

Also, in all honesty, even if you don’t make your marriage work after the affair, forgiveness will still be beneficial to you because you’re going to feel better and freer.

When you forgive, and truly let go of your negative feelings associated with the incident you’ll be less likely to suffer as much depression and you’ll be able to get through it if you do. The reason is that you’ll start focusing on healing rather than revenge when you truly forgive your partner for cheating on you.

When you forgive someone, instead of negative stuff swirling around in your brain unchecked, you actively seek to change those feelings to positive feelings and that will make you feel a lot better. You will be so much stronger when you forgive and move forward.

We all know people who have allowed their hate and bitterness to take over their lives. You don’t want that and you don’t have to have that, no matter what was done to you.

Look around you and you’ll soon realize you can categorize your friends and family into those who forgive and those who don’t. The ones who don’t are often bitter, resentful, and may even end up with drug/ alcohol/ gambling abuse problems due to never being happy in the present because of what happened in the past.

If you don’t forgive your spouse as soon as you can, you can’t start the healing process in order to save your marriage. Even though you have every right to be angry and upset, if you hold on to it for too long your spouse will give up and move on with someone else.

This isn’t a threat and doesn’t make it right but you need to be the sort of person someone wants to fix a marriage with and let go of transgressions if you really want to save your marriage.

Remember that the people we love will often do things that hurt us, spouses, parents, kids, siblings, friends and so on; the only ones we seem to avoid forgiving are spouses. This is not a good thing. Spouses need forgiveness too.

Remember, forgiving your spouse doesn’t mean you have to get back together, but it does mean that you need to let go of the bitterness, turning the situation around in your mind for hours at a time, and focusing on the harm done. Instead, forgive so that you can focus on making your life better. You’ll be healthier in every way possible if you learn to forgive your them.

[larue]

Wow.

That was fantastic.

And it is so true. Ultimately, we decide what we can and cannot live with when it comes to the behaviour of the people around us.

We decide to, or not. Recrimination does not make anyone happy.

We cannot control how other people live their lives, or feel about us.

All we can do is work on the things that make us happy. And you're right, forgiving is one of the best things to do cos carrying resentment around is really tiring and frankly, stupid.

[Lawrencelaulan]

Sis sorry to say there. Do you know what is Sex? Having Sex with your partner can build up a good relationship and trust. maybe your husband his Sex drive is more higher then you. But you can try to accommodate with him if you really don't want him to have other girl.. Try wear some sexy or buy some sextoy to make your Sex experience look more fun.

[a2014]

What make most thinks that @hiswife is probably the problem. As she did not mention much in her post and respond I guess it takes two hands to clap. If no love then why married at the beginning.

Then what happen after signing on the dot, both party must work towards a happy family. The environment that either party being brought up and live with plays a very big part in any behavioral changes that normally ended up in argument at home.

Some say must forgive, some say close one eye. Then you need to know when to close one eye and what is the limit. If you set a goal far too hard to achieve and far too short a time frame, most likely you will be disappointed. It better to take things that it come by and act upon it wisely then jumping the gun.

[Ladyrain]

Originally Posted by tnuc

Personally, a woman coming to a sex forum is worse than guys visiting prostititutes..

To me such a woman is worse than a prostitute. Ask ur husband if he minds u visiting a forum filled with horny men while u share intimate details of ur marriage

However if ur intention is to find someone to cheat with.. pls PM me

In what base you come to such moronic conclusion?