How to confirm wife is eating outside - Page 6

porscheclub · #76 20-07-2015, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

Good comments by you guys here..... To me I just want the truth, if she did, just admit it, and move on, and how I can improve my relationship with her, now daily is like a guessing and waiting game, whenever I ask anything about it, she will ask me, do I trust her??? Well I really don't, after all the signs

Move on? Let's be honest to yourself here. Will you forgive & carry on the marriage after the positive confession? Will you bear kids with her & not for a moment think that the kid is not fathered by another man?

Think about this with a clear & far-fetching mind.

If the both of you can come to terms & she can sober from her moment of folly then wish the best to the both of you.

harddisk · #77 21-07-2015, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

To be honest, off and on the thoughts will be back, it really hurts emotionally, at times all seems bright, at time gloomy, i know the fact, yet can't get the truth, perhaps the truth can remedy my situation, the thoughts of her being fuck by others, the thoughts of her blowing the other guy dick, was the guy big and great? Or was it purely monetary? What was it? Just for fun? How many times they had sex? With or without condom? Is she clean now? Did she let the guy photograph on bed? All this question marks kills me, I had asked again last Sunday, this time her reply seems different, she said if I believe that she had sex with other guy, then she did! What does that mean? Is she saying in a way she did? Admitting? Another thing is, if you are not guilty, will she suddenly change and listen to all my request and instructions? Be in life, sex, etc.....

Yup these thoughts return every once in a while. You have to ask yourself what you want out of this marriage cos no one can ask you to do what you don't want/like to do.

They may have done some things behind closed doors. No matter what, things have already happened (or still happening). Are you able to accept the truth? Can you forgive and forget?

It took me about 3 months to begin to sort myself out. By the 6th month I was already involved with another woman.

It is normal to have those unhealthy thoughts resurface once a while. You have to find something to occupy your mind. Time heals all wounds. Its too early to say that now for you because you are still hurt but I hope yours wont take as long as mine to heal cos the feeling sucks.

Joe8888 · #78 21-07-2015, 12:10 PM

Bro Harddisk, how did you find out about it? And how you confirm about it?

harddisk · #79 21-07-2015, 02:28 PM

Human instincts and observations.
You know her usual behavior and you can tell when it changes. Something like what you mentioned earlier about changes in her dressing etc.

Perhaps instead of finding out the truth which can hurt you, how about going out to make new friends? There are women out there with similar problems at home.

harddisk · #80 21-07-2015, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by senters89

Bro, if you still love her, don think so much first, don do any silly things until you confirm she is cheating you. She is not cheating you, you will get hurt because of this rs, but if she is cheating, also u get hurt. Think far first.

I re-read this post and recalled some parts of the argument w my wife.

Men will question and want to find out more about what happened and why it happened and if possible, was intimacy involved (touching, holding hands inclusive).

I remembered I asked my wife some questions and she turned the tables around, asking if she looked like a slut in my eyes.

Im not bashing women but just saying that the perpetuator can turn the tables and become a victim.

So be careful with words.

Joe8888 · #81 21-07-2015, 03:19 PM

Thanks for your reply, I guess my case and yours is super similar, so I guess what I am feeling now you felt before, so I guess it's now quite normal for wife to eat out too, my wife is good at reversing back the question to me, DO YOU TRUST ME?

sammyboyfor · #82 21-07-2015, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

Thanks for your reply, I guess my case and yours is super similar, so I guess what I am feeling now you felt before, so I guess it's now quite normal for wife to eat out too, my wife is good at reversing back the question to me, DO YOU TRUST ME?

She's playing mind games with you. If she truly cared for you she would go out of her way to reassure you instead of screwing around with your head.

Leave her and get yourself a new wife.

maxsee · #83 21-07-2015, 04:03 PM

I don't understand why don't you just hire a PI and you get the answer you want....ranting here is not going to do any good to you....there is no way you can truly confront her unless you got evidence.

Your case is very much similar to my friend's case years back. He confront the wife without concrete evidence. And the wife end up turning the table back at him. Not only is this so, she started going out even more and put the blame all on my friends for making her all stress up. In actual fact she manage to get her tix to cheat openly.

My friend feels so bad and end up blaming himself for his wife going out episodes. And even treated her even nicer than before. But after I ask him to find a PI, he eventually relented as he felt worse and worse each day with the wife constantly going out all dress up nicely.

In the end, he really found out that the wife cheated on him and confront her with concrete evidence of photographs and video.

Without concrete evidence, you cannot truly confront a woman. At most ask a bit here n there and end up with more question marks in your head....

a2014 · #84 21-07-2015, 05:49 PM

TS, the more you ask and want to know the worst it will become. It's only a fact that are you able to accept it. If YES then how, if NO then how ?

I guess you wouldn't know it unless you go hire a PI which will cost you a bomb and at time you may find it worth the while, then next come the decision, what are you going to do if what you all along want to know is true. Sometime PI will unearth something very different and unexpected other than what you are expecting.

If you claim that you can accept it then how you going to treat the whole affair, close an eye. Well maybe one day you will see the truth and she will tell you the truth. This can only happen when she is 100% confident that you wouldn't turn the table any more as you truly accept her style and I guess this day hard to come by. Unless you are saying that this is a woman that you love other than your actual wife. Then it is a separate story altogether.

Take care

Botakhead · #85 22-07-2015, 11:33 PM

If you can accept the actual fact that she indeed gave you a "Green Beret",

can you also accept the fact that she is pregnant with other men's child and you have to bear the consequences?

Another friend of mine was in this forgiving situation whereby he let her have her 'fun' outside, in the end she left him to take care of another man's child as she cannot face the reality of karma.

She went the easy way out by eloping with another man, not the child's father. He was left with a child from another race born into his family through her infidelity, she never even bothered to use protection during her fun seeking outings.

He has to face the world, people's piercing eyes, unforgiving tongue waging, etc etc, because he as a Chinese guy had to bring up a 'dark' colored skinned child all on his own, he could not bear to leave the kid as he still have some humanity, now the kid is already taking care of him, giving him a feeling of a family filled with warmth, though they looked different from each other.

Joe8888 · #86 23-07-2015, 07:56 AM

Will my wife do it without protection? Now you got me worried, sometimes when u least expected it, it happen, hopefully she did use protection, should I get myself check for STD? The more I think now, feel a bit disgusted, but a bit of me feels fine, just let her fuck, she will be a good girl at night come to me and please me, lately we had great sex, I guess she trying to please me more lately! Whatever I want to do with her, she will let me do it, like one of the bro here said, fuck her wildly! Bang n smack that pussy, bite her nipples! I should just fuck her every night, for the misery she caused me, and record down all the videos and pictures and share with you guys!

sammyboyfor · #87 23-07-2015, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

and record down all the videos and pictures and share with you guys!

Do that without her permission and you could end up in jail. If your life is already messed up, the last thing you'd want to do is make things worse.

Joe8888 · #88 23-07-2015, 08:27 AM

Nowadays she listen to all my instructions, basically she is a obedient wife now, perhaps from the guilt, she will now gladly let me photo shoot or do whatever I want to her,

Botakhead · #89 23-07-2015, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

Nowadays she listen to all my instructions, basically she is a obedient wife now, perhaps from the guilt, she will now gladly let me photo shoot or do whatever I want to her,

So that she can have an excuse to eat outside more often?

And practise what she sexperience with other men?

a2014 · #90 23-07-2015, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

Will my wife do it without protection?

Hard to tell, but I guess NO unless the relationship is deeper that what you have with her which I don't think so. Whether she did it or not is also questionable. Maybe you are insensitive at time and she need someone to confine to and happened to be an opposite sex.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

The more I think now, feel a bit disgusted, but a bit of me feels fine, just let her fuck, she will be a good girl at night come to me and please me

Why you say that unless you are dead sure she did something not too desire. Even if she did, I guess it is still yourself to decide to forgive or not, otherwise no one here can help you. Some YES and some NO, it all depends on your inner self.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

lately we had great sex, I guess she trying to please me more lately! Whatever I want to do with her, she will let me do it.

This is absolutely true, reason being you keep asking recently and she feel that she has let you down and need to compensate for it. This is normally how human will think, try to please and appease first and forget later. Again that doesn't mean she is guilty of eating outside but because you are getting agitated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe8888

record down all the videos and pictures and share with you guys

Playful stuff like taking picture and short video clip can spike up your sex life as both of you can replay it and giggle over it later. Sometime you have to keep upgrading yourself in this area to keep your love one around. However one point to take note, these stuff are for both of you only, do not share it as you know internet has becoming so transparent, one wrong move and become viral will destroy your whole life.

Take Care