Getting a Divorce

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by Garage1

But 1 thing is very true for me... for me to be very gracious or drop money to any woman again is gng to be very very hard!
Hahahaha

Im sure u all know what i mean
Esp those that been thru it

Not hard but impossible 🤣. Already kena jialat on the backside. Won't dare to touch rom with a ten foot pole.
A crazy woman from hell can truly break a man's back. Almost any woman can be that crazy woman from hell.

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by Garage1

There are so many silent sufferes of sexless marriage
Not many dare to step out or even divorce or even share or say

I was in a (near) sexless relationship for a while. My ex kept asking me for allowance and presents until I started to question my own sanity. It's obvious for me I will go out eat if I cannot have what I want to have, whether marriage or relationship.

Baseline for me is that intimacy forms the anchor or any relationship. How to pay and sustain a relationship with no roi or payback.

I m a qualified capitalist. I pay to have.... Not pay to be frustrated. A friend ask why don't give local chicks a chance. Imo, it's the local chicks that don't give a chance. For those who did Econs, Says said that supply creates it own demand, but that's totally untrue for women today.

[Garage1]

Originally Posted by cmelater

I was in a (near) sexless relationship for a while. My ex kept asking me for allowance and presents until I started to question my own sanity. It's obvious for me I will go out eat if I cannot have what I want to have, whether marriage or relationship.

Baseline for me is that intimacy forms the anchor or any relationship. How to pay and sustain a relationship with no roi or payback.

I m a qualified capitalist. I pay to have.... Not pay to be frustrated. A friend ask why don't give local chicks a chance. Imo, it's the local chicks that don't give a chance. For those who did Econs, Says said that supply creates it own demand, but that's totally untrue for women today.

In my case - i will say its sexless ( once a month and its like u have to beg or ask for it )
Might as well dun lah if not gng to do it nicey etc

I got a question tho
Recently.. i want to or know a PRC PR with a +2 baggage
Shes also recently divorced
I myself got 0 kids
I think shes currently seeing someone
That someone is also a divorcee +1 guy

So my question is - shld i even try? Yeah im sure we all know PRC stigma and and +2 baggage in this scenario

Will love to hear everyone input

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by Garage1

In my case - i will say its sexless ( once a month and its like u have to beg or ask for it )
Might as well dun lah if not gng to do it nicey etc

I got a question tho
Recently.. i want to or know a PRC PR with a +2 baggage
Shes also recently divorced
I myself got 0 kids
I think shes currently seeing someone
That someone is also a divorcee +1 guy

So my question is - shld i even try? Yeah im sure we all know PRC stigma and and +2 baggage in this scenario

Will love to hear everyone input

Let me quote one of my favourite lines. Under different shades of light, the same painting unveils a different set of colours.
Its really hard to give a conclusive yes or no. Often, it just boils down to what you wish to pursue.
My case was straight forward. My ex prc gf was single n never married. I knew clearly that no matter how i tried to make it work, it just wont work as i wish. The only way to work is to contort my own values, beliefs, character and personality into a poor fitting foot wear. I just cannot dance properly.
Another thing that really got to me is the ill effects of 抖音. Its not hard to observe the vast amount of content promoting... undesirable behaviour.
Can I change another person? LKY said that its just impossible to change a person who is over 30 years old. Habits make a man (or a woman).
So, my take on this is, if you want to go into it, just know where your boundaries are. Most likely, much friction will arise. The "villagers" will magnify any small difficulty into a nuclear disaster.... sooner or later. You are either win them over or get trampled over.
My kaki would say, "there are many other girls, so... why settle for this one?"


PS: I think back about my ex wife n ex girlfriends. They are really nice people with mortgage and bills to pay. But, its really hard to put two persons in the same house and co exist... long enough or even till end of time. Almost all girls present themselves (for the first time) as highly desirable, else why bother dolling up. Its not the outcome, but the stuff that happens during the processes. If fate permits, I wish to tell each and everyone of them that "I loved them, during that moment."

[Garage1]

Originally Posted by cmelater

Let me quote one of my favourite lines. Under different shades of light, the same painting unveils a different set of colours.
Its really hard to give a conclusive yes or no. Often, it just boils down to what you wish to pursue.
My case was straight forward. My ex prc gf was single n never married. I knew clearly that no matter how i tried to make it work, it just wont work as i wish. The only way to work is to contort my own values, beliefs, character and personality into a poor fitting foot wear. I just cannot dance properly.
Another thing that really got to me is the ill effects of 抖音. Its not hard to observe the vast amount of content promoting... undesirable behaviour.
Can I change another person? LKY said that its just impossible to change a person who is over 30 years old. Habits make a man (or a woman).
So, my take on this is, if you want to go into it, just know where your boundaries are. Most likely, much friction will arise. The "villagers" will magnify any small difficulty into a nuclear disaster.... sooner or later. You are either win them over or get trampled over.
My kaki would say, "there are many other girls, so... why settle for this one?"


PS: I think back about my ex wife n ex girlfriends. They are really nice people with mortgage and bills to pay. But, its really hard to put two persons in the same house and co exist... long enough or even till end of time. Almost all girls present themselves (for the first time) as highly desirable, else why bother dolling up. Its not the outcome, but the stuff that happens during the processes. If fate permits, I wish to tell each and everyone of them that "I loved them, during that moment."

Funny that u brought up douyin
Yes i agree there are so many diff videos showing all sorts of stuffs
Guys showing off with cars
Gals showing off beauty
Plenty of love advices

Regards to the prc woman
Just a tot
Im dead sure im not ready for a +2
And like the saying goes - 不要害人！

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by Garage1

Funny that u brought up douyin
Yes i agree there are so many diff videos showing all sorts of stuffs
Guys showing off with cars
Gals showing off beauty
Plenty of love advices

Regards to the prc woman
Just a tot
Im dead sure im not ready for a +2
And like the saying goes - 不要害人！

Douyin is psychologically and intellectually venomous, without any form of cure or treatment. Few men will readily agree to take care of another woman's "baggage". Its just hard. A used phone is fine, but a woman from another marriage is more than a handful to cope with.

While i'm no saint, I also dun want 害人. haiz.

[Garage1]

Originally Posted by cmelater

Douyin is psychologically and intellectually venomous, without any form of cure or treatment. Few men will readily agree to take care of another woman's "baggage". Its just hard. A used phone is fine, but a woman from another marriage is more than a handful to cope with.

While i'm no saint, I also dun want 害人. haiz.

to take care of someone else BAGGAGE for life is not simple.. takes a very big heart and finance to do it
shallow pple will say - aiya love the woman , u gotta take care of her kids too etc...
thats very very immature ...
Myself have 0 kids.. so its gng to take a big part of me to be the STEPFATHER or UNCLE of her baggage...
something not money can replace, i have to spend time to build the trust, rapport etc..
and of cos the money part..
a dinner for 2.. becomes dinner for 4...

many people have said - so many women, u die die have to choose someone like this?
lol

Im not exactly sure is she looking for a BF,companion etc but surely she equally wants someone to be able to help take care of her kids too...

[Penguin23]

Originally Posted by Garage1

In my case - i will say its sexless ( once a month and its like u have to beg or ask for it )
Might as well dun lah if not gng to do it nicey etc

I got a question tho
Recently.. i want to or know a PRC PR with a +2 baggage
Shes also recently divorced
I myself got 0 kids
I think shes currently seeing someone
That someone is also a divorcee +1 guy

So my question is - shld i even try? Yeah im sure we all know PRC stigma and and +2 baggage in this scenario

Will love to hear everyone input

I will advise you not to pursue her bro. In all fairness, someone with your background can get someone better and not someone with a +2. Given that you never had a child yourself, you have zero experience as a step-parent and you will likely be extremely frustrated trying to develop a relationship with 2 kids who seriously do not want you in their lives. To them, you are and forever will be just someone who happens to be fucking their mother. Nothing more. Accept this simple fact, and you will understand why it is best that you should walk away.

Just ask yourself a simple question. Imagine you were still a child, and your parents divorced. Some guy comes along to fuck your mother and try to be a stepfather to you. How do you think you will react? Multiply that by 2 kids, and you have the answer.

Don't be that guy. Just don't.

I write this, from the viewpoint of a divorcee who also has a +2. Both children stay with me. I do not wish for any woman to step into their lives, so I will strictly keep my dalliances outside and do not bring the woman home. When the kids grow up and leave the home on their own, I will reconsider my stance. Growing old alone is very lonely and I fully understand why folks get together "just for companionship"

I dare say that it will be impossible for any woman to form a good relationship with my children. My children will forever view any woman who steps into their lives with nothing but suspicion and hostility. I don't blame them for it. My kids only have one mother, and it's probably best for them to keep it that way no matter what the mum has done while she was married to me.

[Penguin23]

Originally Posted by Garage1

Im not exactly sure is she looking for a BF,companion etc but surely she equally wants someone to be able to help take care of her kids too...

To a woman (and men too, to be fair) - hope springs eternal. No matter how challenging the personal circumstances, a woman will hope to find love and someone who "can accept them for what they are"

But, you have a choice. You have no kids, no baggage. Consider, please.

[Garage1]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

I will advise you not to pursue her bro. In all fairness, someone with your background can get someone better and not someone with a +2. Given that you never had a child yourself, you have zero experience as a step-parent and you will likely be extremely frustrated trying to develop a relationship with 2 kids who seriously do not want you in their lives. To them, you are and forever will be just someone who happens to be fucking their mother. Nothing more. Accept this simple fact, and you will understand why it is best that you should walk away.

Just ask yourself a simple question. Imagine you were still a child, and your parents divorced. Some guy comes along to fuck your mother and try to be a stepfather to you. How do you think you will react? Multiply that by 2 kids, and you have the answer.

Don't be that guy. Just don't.

I write this, from the viewpoint of a divorcee who also has a +2. Both children stay with me. I do not wish for any woman to step into their lives, so I will strictly keep my dalliances outside and do not bring the woman home. When the kids grow up and leave the home on their own, I will reconsider my stance. Growing old alone is very lonely and I fully understand why folks get together "just for companionship"

I dare say that it will be impossible for any woman to form a good relationship with my children. My children will forever view any woman who steps into their lives with nothing but suspicion and hostility. I don't blame them for it. My kids only have one mother, and it's probably best for them to keep it that way no matter what the mum has done while she was married to me.

thanks bro.. i spent last night reading yr input.. its very valuable to me.. all these life advices does not come easily unless one is into it.. and u are an example
being mature.. of cos i TEND to think of the long road ahead or future for her..
in fact, i share the same sentiments as u.. i worry bout the kids more than her.. ( and u are right.. abt willing to accept me or etc.. i myself not even ready to take on such a responsibility.. not that im looking for fun ..
i just reply whats on my mind instead of replying to u point by point as im sure u can understand it...

like i mention in earlier posts.. i think better not harm her.. LOL..hahaha
not that im confident but its someone life.. and her kids lives..

[Garage1]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

To a woman (and men too, to be fair) - hope springs eternal. No matter how challenging the personal circumstances, a woman will hope to find love and someone who "can accept them for what they are"

But, you have a choice. You have no kids, no baggage. Consider, please.

100% agreed... i dont have any kids, no baggage.. so my options are prob wider than most

[fallen11]

just go for the sex
why do you even have to marry?
you dont have to marry every girl you fuck, you know?

[supershaft]

Originally Posted by fallen11

just go for the sex
why do you even have to marry?
you dont have to marry every girl you fuck, you know?

Well said..

Marriage is overrated..

Juz fire n forget on different pussies better..

[fallen11]

Originally Posted by supershaft

Well said..

Marriage is overrated..

Juz fire n forget on different pussies better..

thats what i cant understand.
i see many local men just marry the 1st chio bu they meet (doesnt matter where they know her from), the 1st girl they fuck for free.
Honorable ah? Are these men expecting to be knighted for such honorable deeds? Women often just open pussy treating such men as fools. Enter once only must pay for life? Not even virgin pussy somemore.

You cant put all the blame on the women if its the men who's forever stupid.

[supershaft]

Originally Posted by fallen11

thats what i cant understand.
i see many local men just marry the 1st chio bu they meet (doesnt matter where they know her from), the 1st girl they fuck for free.
Honorable ah? Are these men expecting to be knighted for such honorable deeds? Women often just open pussy treating such men as fools. Enter once only must pay for life? Not even virgin pussy somemore.

You cant put all the blame on the women if its the men who's forever stupid.

blood is only enough to flow to one head.