Shanghai "In Conversation" Views, News & Reviews

[SGPshanghai69]

Originally Posted by shanghaitan

Wow! Life is indeed getting better with a good job (.. and good pay too from the looks of it!).. Congrats Big Bro SGP69! Good Stuff!!

Cheerio~!
Shanghaitan

Thanks for the congatulations though I'm merely moving in along with some one but not a place entirely my own. I meely chipping in abit on the monthly rental. Not moving up in life but rather getting a better grip on my own life now, watching my health.
Regards,

[SGPshanghai69]

Originally Posted by junior_cannibal

Dear Bro SGP69, I would like to join fellow bros like PTR and Shanghaitan to congratulate you for kicking the drinking habit.
As for your career, glad that you have managed to pull through the down time. However, do remember how you did it, its not only your mental strength, but also the the support from some bros, both financially and spiritually. Dont take this support for a ride and dont think you can get away from these indebtedness on a FOC basis. I aint reprimanding you, take it from an older fella like me, all these will go a long way, even beyond the day we close our eyes perpetually.

Thank you for the kind words & reminder.
Perhaps it's your style to go reminding a person and out loud, but also to remind you that I do have all persons who helped me past & present well remembered. As you mentioned here, I have helped others too in the past but needless to bring it up. As the old saying goes, There's no free lunch in this world.....I shall remembered all those kind good souls till the day I closed my eyes perpetually....
Thanks again.

[junior_cannibal]

Originally Posted by SGPshanghai69

Thank you for the kind words & reminder.
Perhaps it's your style to go reminding a person and out loud, but also to remind you that I do have all persons who helped me past & present well remembered. As you mentioned here, I have helped others too in the past but needless to bring it up. As the old saying goes, There's no free lunch in this world.....I shall remembered all those kind good souls till the day I closed my eyes perpetually....
Thanks again.

Bro, I guessed my earlier post was too harsh, sorry. Its not meant to reprimand anybody. In life, most of us, if not all, tend to take things for granted (myself included), its not about the existence of this ignorance, but the magnitude of how much we take things for granted. I have reminded myself from time to time, your helpfulness in one way or another when I first came to Shanghai. The first time we met in BB. If you treat me as a real bro, you would know why I did what I have done.

[shanghaitan]

Originally Posted by junior_cannibal

In life, most of us, if not all, tend to take things for granted (myself included), its not about the existence of this ignorance, but the magnitude of how much we take things for granted. I have reminded myself from time to time, your helpfulness in one way or another when I first came to Shanghai.

Bro Junior_Cannibal,
May I add?

I agree that taking things for granted is human.. but in order to rise above this human trait, one has to be aware and realize when it happens and take necessary steps to correct it..

There are people who will once in a while go "off track" and stop appreciating the deeds of others, which commonly happens in married life.. and I will be the first to admit that I'm one such person.. Familiarity breeds contempt which leads to taking our other half for granted.. and I have fallen manyatimes and have to take timely reality checks lest more damaged then necessary is done..

On the other hand, there are people who knows that they're "off track" but chooses to take the "Ignorance is Bliss" path.. not knowing where it will lead to but don't really care anyway.. One can act blur only for so long before reality catches up with him.. by then, it'll be too late as the damage will most likely be irreparable..

As my "family" helped me through my worst periods in life, basically, I just want to write down my personal opinion as both a tribute to them and as a reality check for myself. I have made a promise that when things starts to look up, the first thing I will do is to make good what I have promised them..be it in the form of moral, emotional support or be it money owing.. It is important to “deliver” as promised or there will never be eternal peace within.. at least that’s the principle that I hold close to heart.. may not hold true for others..

Otherwise, I will just fall into the second category of people and I don't really want to do that as I consider them as "Ugly People", unworthy to be called "Human"... I don't want to be "Ugly" and "Family-less"... while it is easy to move from "family" to "family" and just be "Ugly" all the way, I firmly believe that reality has a funny way of catching up and springing whatever what one has coming in the most unexpected way.. I have no such intention of finding out things the hard way..

Hmm... before I get on the nerves of bros ready with my mindless rambling, I think I better stop.. kekeke.. don't want to get Zapped...

Whatever the case, Bro Junior_Cannibal, kudos to you for your straight forwardness in your postings.. I have learnt so much from you.. and will wait in anticipation until your next posting..

Cheerio~!
Shanghaitan

[PuTonRen]

Dear Bros Shanghaitan,

You have once again, impressed me with your impeccable writing skill and command of English. You have put it very well something pertaining about repaying, be it to our Family, loves one, and friends who have in one way or other showed their love, care and even money. We should never forget about repaying back. That is my principles, Buddhists believe a lot in repaying either kindness or debts.

Other than families, friends who have shown compassion, care and concerns are to be valued. They may help us without reservation, but their kind gestures and heartly show of concern should not be taken for granted. They are times that they might not ask for any return for the assistance rendered, but those that one takes from should be given back to them.

I do not mind sharing my sad story to brothers as a warning. I was a compulsive gambler, and always lost. A month of salary can go in two hands of Show-Hand. I was so badly in debt that when friends saw me from far, they avoided me, or pretending not to have seen me. I learnt! and I stopped completely. I then saved up to repay everyone I owed money to. It took me two years to really reinstate the confidence of my friend in me. It was a painful but useful experience to me. I always told this to young people as a warning of a pit fall in life.

My 2 cent worth.

With best regards


PTR

Originally Posted by shanghaitan

Bro Junior_Cannibal,
I agree that taking things for granted is human.. but in order to rise above this human trait, one has to be aware and realize when it happens and take necessary steps to correct it..

There are people who will once in a while go "off track" and stop appreciating the deeds of others, which commonly happens in married life.. and I will be the first to admit that I'm one such person.. Familiarity breeds contempt which leads to taking our other half for granted.. and I have fallen manyatimes and have to take timely reality checks lest more damaged then necessary is done..

On the other hand, there are people who knows that they're "off track" but chooses to take the "Ignorance is Bliss" path.. not knowing where it will lead to but don't really care anyway.. One can act blur only for so long before reality catches up with him.. by then, it'll be too late as the damage will most likely be irreparable..

Cheerio~!
Shanghaitan

This is my virgin posting despite being a passive reader for the last few years. Thought I add my 2 cents to all the 2 cents from every other contributors.

Interestingly, all postings seems to be from sensible people... it is also true that sensible people do make mistakes too. Often a little too late to realise.

This is my tenth year "exploring" life in China and I still can't help making mistakes from time to time (from "Kum Cheng" to "tricksters"). I agree that family is ultimate important - after all they are the reason why we are working so hard in a distant land. Every so often we need a reminder from friends not to overdo the "fun" part and to get back reality.

The FRs are fun and spice up life! More importantly, the constant reminders from Brothers about the pitfalls keep reality in check. I thank all Brothers for their reminders, stories and teachings. Kudos!

Cheers
XiaoHeiGe

P.S: Thanks for the last gathering and having the opportunity to meet all the Brothers - it is more endearing reading the treads when you put a face to a name. Glad to have made a group of new friends.

[ultra88man]

在家靠父母，出外靠朋友 。。。

bros in SH, 四海之内皆兄弟, you help me, i help you lor ...

Written (typed) words have no emotions and intonation, and I strongly believe no one meant any harm.

just my one and a half cents worth ...

PS: my england not so good, don't use so cheem words can or not ... reading posts here needs dictionary for me ... hehe

[shengge]

Originally Posted by ultra88man

在家靠父母，出外靠朋友 。。。
bros in SH, 四海之内皆兄弟, you help me, i help you lor ...
PS: my england not so good, don't use so cheem words can or not ... reading posts here needs dictionary for me ... hehe

Dear Bro,
Well said! Otherwise wooden had upped you yesterday. (Sorri! my england is reali badd, rely on the 金山词霸 these days)

Sometimes, it bcums like this
出外靠朋友，出卖是兄弟（BRA-Ders）

Each has its own limitation, like playing mahjong, rite? Talking abt mahjong, I dint owe you money, rite?.......................
(Sorri failed my ang moh at A-level)

[ultra88man]

Originally Posted by shengge

Dear Bro,
Well said! Otherwise wooden had upped you yesterday. (Sorry! my england is reali badd, rely on the 金山词霸 these days)

Sometimes, it bcums like this
出外靠朋友，出卖是兄弟（bra-ders）

Each has its own limitation, like playing mahjong, rite? Talking abt mahjong, I dint owe you money, rite?.......................

halo, in order to owe me mahjong money, you will have to start playing with me first !!! haha ... dun be so cheem leh ... singlish also so cheem ...

[shengge]

Originally Posted by ultra88man

halo, in order to owe me mahjong money, you will have to start playing with me first !!! haha ... dun be so cheem leh ... singlish also so cheem ...

harlo,
I cannot play with you lar, wait no marnee to pay you then jia lat liao. How big you play huh? Can wait until I got marnee?

[shanghian]

Originally Posted by shanghaitan

I agree that taking things for granted is human.. but in order to rise above this human trait, one has to be aware and realize when it happens and take necessary steps to correct it..

On the other hand, there are people who .. act blur

it is easy to move from "family" to "family" and just be "Ugly" all the way..

Bro Junior_Cannibal, kudos to you for your straight forwardness in your postings..

Bro Facilitator Shanghaitan,

First and fore most.... your english is impeccable.. so clap clap clap
Next, the human trait you are infering to is " inteligence...ie to be aware of your surrounding and adapting to it.
Thirdly, The people who act blur blur ones are actually quite smart one...to avoid the bill when it is time to pay...left hand reach right pocket, go toilet when bill comes , offer $1000 note to settle $50 bill ...some have perfected this to an art that is hard to copy . One can only standby and admire the skill in which he/she schemes and avoids the actual act of payment. I am sure you have met this sort of people in your life and also fallen "victim" to their ploys.
Bro , Kudos to your filial piety... A truly asian trait .. this I admire most.. parents and family number 1.
Bro JC , you are a straight shooter man, you don't mince your words. I admire that too. Hope that you're comments are taken in the right perspective.. an encouragement to Bro SGP69 not to forget his obligation and his roots ..

You are all a true band of extraordinary gentlemen kudos to you all.

Big Boss Bro PTR, Cannot imagine you as a gambler , bouncer at a pub maybe..hehehehe..gambler...errrr no same leh. Anyways , I never thought that fishes actually drink ...they swim in water but I dun tink they drink water...cannot confirm ... but you are right true friends are hard to come by... they stick wif your tru thick and thin..something like our wives ( or some of our wives) .. hard times are the best times to sort out the real and the fakes... you seem to have come out of it on top.. so good for you boss.

Cheers All

Shanghian

[tionggoklan]

Originally Posted by shengge

Sometimes, it bcums like this
出外靠朋友，出卖是兄弟（BRA-Ders）

Shengge,

I tot is 在家靠父母，出外靠屁股？ But i wanna sell backside also no ppl want, too old liao.

Well, after reading what other bros have written, I also like to share my view. To me, friendship is an important part of my life, guess if u r still single at my age, u will understand that. I remember in sch days cum across a poem that say sumtin like "Love is like a rose, its beautiful but it withers fast, whereas friendship is like an evergreen tree, it dun look outstanding but it will last a lifetime". How true it is, guess that's y I still remember this till today.

I too owe friends n family $, n it is their help n understanding that allow me to last till now. How I wish I can be like Bro PTR, to say that I can repay them back in 2yrs time, ah, that would be great. But i know that even if I'm employed now wif a reasonable pay, I wun be able to accomplish that, not to mention that I'm in fact unemployed. However, they r understanding enuff n maybe I have also been a trustworthy friend, such that they dun even mention abt the matter at all, n never avoid me at all.

So, I do n really appreciate this sort of trust n bonding that r hard to find in today's world, 1 that ppl become more n more self-centred. Well, I'm not saying I'm a great friend that can 上刀山，下火海，but at the very least, I know how to appreciate their kindness. For instance, whenever I go overseas (last time when i was still employed), be it long or short, I will always leave behind a sealed letter to my parents, telling them onli to open if anything happen to me. Inside this letter, I have listed down the amt. I owe to each friend n family, and give instruction that the money from my insurance will be used to settle this 1st. This is because ppl have placed their trust in me n I will not betray this trust, even when I'm dead.

For those I owe to banks, I will not pay a single cent if anything were to happen to me, but for friend n family, I will not owe a single cent. The former is juz basically transaction, they lend me, i pay them interest, whereas the latter is trust, even i pay them back, I'm still indebted to them.

At end of day, even I achieve notin in life, I'm glad to have friends that I can really call friends, or brothers. So bros, do treasure those friendship u have, it will see u thru yr whole life.

[PuTonRen]

Originally Posted by tionggoklan

I too owe friends n family $, n it is their help n understanding that allow me to last till now. How I wish I can be like Bro PTR, to say that I can repay them back in 2yrs time, ah, that would be great.

At end of day, even I achieve notin in life, I'm glad to have friends that I can really call friends, or brothers. So bros, do treasure those friendship u have, it will see u thru yr whole life.

Dear Brother,

A balanced view and a good post.

I paid back everything in 2 years. It was true, but I do not want to talk about the kind of life that I had during that period. In my mind, it was only to clear the debt, and walk with my chin up again. I knew I should pay for my mistake and was glad that I was successful. Gambling is an addiction, it is just like drgus. Many people might not believe so, nevertheless, I am speaking from personal experience.

Friendship is of course important outside family. However, it is based solely on trust that must be built in each other. If there is any abuse of trust, then there would not be any friendship.

My 2 cent worth.

Regards

PTR

[PuTonRen]

Bro Shanghian,

What you are looking at now, is just a simple old man, no more gambling and drinking. You did not realise as I met you only once. I did not even touch the dices when people were playing in the KTV. Must gambler have a perculiar look to be qualified as one? If you care to enlighten, I am sure we will benefit from your observation.

Drinking like a fish is an expression commonly used to described someone who drinks a lot. Just like if one says "He runs like a horse", does it mean that he is running as fast as a horse? I hope you were joking in those statements in your last post as they really belittle people. I think I might have used the same analogy, but to an old man, say what you want, those statements do no harm to me. I hope the above is clear.

Regards

PTR

[shengge]

Originally Posted by tionggoklan

Shengge,
I tot is 在家靠父母，出外靠屁股？ At end of day, even I achieve notin in life, I'm glad to have friends that I can really call friends, or brothers. So bros, do treasure those friendship u have, it will see u thru yr whole life.

Dear Bro tgl,
Don know why, I cannot write much these days. Anyway, enjoy reading your post.
As for me, I owe alot to my parents and siblings, after being away from home for more than 2/3 of my age. Can you calculate how much?
Well, I see that you are more fortunate than me as you can repay them now.
Anyway, not to carry too further away, best wishes to you and your family.
Cheers!