Do you still love your wife?

[curiouscatagain]

Originally Posted by parrotkid

I often ask myself this question. Do I still love my wife? Her complaints about me are always about me not buying condo and car.
I have my reasons.

To me buying condo is a pure waste of money since there is almost no way to make money from it since property prices here are unlikely to increase.
A car is a liability. Unless it is used to generate income, it is a waste of money to me too. I can save $1000 more a month by cabbing.

Due to her complaints, there are frequent quarrels and she says I am useless.
My wife is not smart. She see other people do this and that she also want to do the same. Typical Singaporean woman.

Her lack of wisdom has caused me to look down on her more as each day passes. She doesn't appreciate what I have done for the family and focuses only on what I have not done. I find that my love for her is fading by the day.

It seems that going to church to learn that material comfort is not what matters most in life doesn't help as people around her continue to indulge in material comfort and she is influenced by them.

It is also very wrong to compare what the husband can give with other husbands. I have never compared her with what other women give their husbands. she has never supported me in my work and never helped me to feel less stressed by work.

I guess women can really change after marriage. If I had known she will become so toxic, I would never have married her.

I hope TS resolved all his marriage problem by now.
Here is the POV from a married woman:
1. Ask/remind her the reasons why she marries you on the first place. If she fail to answer you this genuinely, TS can be very sure she is a different woman now, no need for TS to change her mind because obviously, she doesn't marry you for who and what you are but seeking a way out to get a comfortable life

2. If she care less about her relationship with you (worse if you guys have kids and she doesn't care her children as well), then there is no point for you to go on with her. Save your youth (age), care your kids/or your life more and walk out

3. A wife who only know how to demand, don't have anything to offer but open her legs and never give any solution or anything in return to her husband is not worthy of marrying. It is a type that Mr. Sam here said Fuck and Forget.

4. Yes women might change after marriage but so do men
all people change as they grow older because of life experiences.

[youmee]

Originally Posted by MoeLanYong

I agree car and holidays are liabilities. But condo is disputable. I know some people who have gone from hdb to condo to landed housing just by paying the monthly installments at each stage. Each time their property appreciates, they take profit and upgrade. Extra money, keep in bank or go holiday. I also know of people who stayed in hdb their whole lives. Both category of people are still working, so there is no added stress or less stress. Just investment decisions. Like you said, no right or wrong answers. Your choice in life.

Having Been a property agent, what have been said, is not entirely wrong as well. I would liken it to buying 4D. You buy at the right time, and provided you SELL at a right time, you do make a decent or sometime ernomous profit. But do note, when there is a lucky few, means there is the same number of unlucky few. If you guys still not aware, property in singapore is artificially inflated by Singapore government. I have proof to back my claims.

When i was selling my inlaw house in UBI, it happen to be the government came out with new ruling. They take away the Valuation. In the past, valuer come to value the house and give a figure for the house and we start selling. Now, you buy the house, then they come out with a value.

And guess what, i happen to do 2 valuation, (anyway valuation only last 6 months that time). First valuation, came out to 470000. 2nd valuation, 500000. Please note, this is the period, where HDB has been falling for a 14th consecutive quarter. My valuation suppose to go down, but it went by not by a small margin of 3-5%, but a astounishing 30000k !Why, put it this way, i manage to clinch a deal for my in law from seller at a price of $505000.

Valuer say one remark, if too high, hard for them to value. But they still give a decent $500000 valuation on the unit because buyer agree to purchase the unit at a price of $505000, and hence, buyer only need pay $5000 cash, and the rest can be loan. However, if stick to old valuation, buyer would have to fork out $35000 cash, which is unaffordable to them. (this is the period where high cash is needed for all HDB purchase)

Well, when i know the truth, i just complain in my heart, how dirty our government can be. But then again, my inlaw benefited from the sales, so who am i to complain?

Current housing is not affordable to our children at all. All our inflation, are artificially created by government. They give civil service pay rise of 3-10% yearly. So who are to pay for this yearly increment? Tax payer lor.

thats why GST hikes and etc is coming.

Rental and salary keep increasing in Singapore, who suffer? We as citizen suffer. Sometime, who say stagnant is no good?

I remember when i first bought my HDB for $220000, i am thinking, if i can save a certain amount for a certain period of years, i can fully paid for my HDB. Dream dash. I keep up with my saving, although salary increase at a pathetic rate to keep up with so called inflation, but the price of housing became unaffordable.

By right i could have been able to afford a upgrade after saving so many years and be debt free, but alas! I become more in debt after upgrade. What nonsense. despite saving enough, but after few years of price increase, my saving become peanuts.

Lets put it this way, government policy, is to keep us forever in debts, always come out with policy to allow us to loan, and say it is affordable and come out with stupid statistic to back up their claims, been there, done that. Time to stop being a fool.

Why i buy a car and can only hold for 10 years? Bullshit on claming it will lead to congestion etc. theoritically speaking, they are right, but look at other countries, does they not know this theory? But does they come out with such policy? Answer is No. Why? bascially, whatever thing turns old, will spoilt eventually. And will auto scrape without the government telling us to do so. And dont forget, we also tend to upgrade, which is also a form of renewal.

I hate the idea of every 10 years, or in fact all my life, i will be in debts to pay the loans of a car. I will NEVER be able to OWN a car. As of writing, im car free, need to get out of this sytem.

Ponzi scheme? Someone may be right. What will happen is already happening.

Default of loans by big corporation. delisting of company from SGX citing low interest. WTF! Truly mother F....... of all times.

They default on loans, because unsustainable business models, even water which is a neccessity, can also lose money. Who can believe this nonsense. And government allow citizen to use CPF to purchase. WTF. Same as the scary UNIT TRUST that government so pro actively ask us to buy using our CPF.

How many of you guys make a loss on that? Government goes silent on this?

It is the same story enticing citizen to depelete our own saving and goes into this ponzi scheme. A recycling effect. Dont you guys see it?

Talk about delisting. We citizen greedy also, buy into all this trusted company, push up the share price, and the insider sell to us at high price enticing us with dividend.After few years, they sell off their own shares, creating a tumbling of the share price. Stop giving dividend, or say delist, then offer 20% above CURRENT valuation of the share price trying to protrayed they are doing us good by offering high. Which is total bullshit. WHY?

Simple ma, what about those holding at high price and making substantial losses? We dont want sell , only paper loss. But now they want delist, we are FORCED to sell at a loss. Where has all the money gone to ? Your guess is as good as mine.

Be smart guys.

[fmylife]

So if your wife shouts at you when she is unhappy and keeps reminding you that she hates your family and regrets marrying. Oh and hits you when she can thinking it's some fun joke and couldn't care less on what you think or say. What would you call this? Petty angry from the wife?

[MoeLanYong]

Originally Posted by youmee

Having Been a property agent, what have been said, is not entirely wrong as well. I would liken it to buying 4D. You buy at the right time, and provided you SELL at a right time, you do make a decent or sometime ernomous profit. But do note, when there is a lucky few, means there is the same number of unlucky few....

Hence, my point to TS and you, that when your wives implore you to consider buying a condo, she is not necessarily wrong. No, it is not lottery. One needs to know when to buy and sell, as you opined. 10 years ago in 2008, condos were shunned. Some free-hold condos were advertised for as low as $700k and nobody bought. Today, they are worth $1.7m. It is all about timing and cycles.

My main point is simple. Do not just blame your wives and see things only from your point of view. This is why people struggle in their marriage.

[MoeLanYong]

Of course, feel free to insist on your way if you want your marriage to fail like the many bros here. She is naive, stupid and evil. And you are an angel and always right. Your marriage, your call.

[cuntjigger]

Mundane..life is short! If she's still so self-centred,u better quit it as u hve tried your best to resuscitate ya marriage! Cheers.. 👌

[youmee]

Originally Posted by MoeLanYong

Hence, my point to TS and you, that when your wives implore you to consider buying a condo, she is not necessarily wrong. No, it is not lottery. One needs to know when to buy and sell, as you opined. 10 years ago in 2008, condos were shunned. Some free-hold condos were advertised for as low as $700k and nobody bought. Today, they are worth $1.7m. It is all about timing and cycles.

My main point is simple. Do not just blame your wives and see things only from your point of view. This is why people struggle in their marriage.

Bro, we always look back with a tinge of regret when things go the opposite direction to what you have seen.

I believe TS and me have the same opinion back in the days when your so called" cheap" property everybody shunned. Please remember, when it is cheap, our salary also damn cheap. What i can see is the near future of 3-5 years, if i am going to dump all my cpf and cash onto this "cheap condo" , not only i suffer short term, if there is any shift in my job, the end result will be catastropic. Our property loan is 30 years fyi . I know of REAL friends that lament to me every 3 months, interest rates go up again, condo loan go up again by $100-$200. This is the true facts of buying condo. You are surrounded by the unknown. Does our salary increase every 3 months? I don't think so.

Maybe you are cash riched, or you happen to be the lucky few bachelor that ride on this bandwagon. Maybe you like to share your success story with us? I am all ears.

It is definetely not our thinking or thinking we are RIGHT. It is about doing the right thing for the good of everyone. Not just for the sole individual who crave the luxury. Who don't crave luxury if we can afford it?

[MoeLanYong]

There is a difference between agreeing with your wife to buy a condo vs the timing to buy. Read it again slowly.

Instead of blaming your wife for wanting a condo, you can agree with her that a condo is actually an asset, like you are agreeing with me now. The question then becomes WHEN to buy.

In doing so, your wife no longer becomes your enemy. You are both in agreement. You are both working together against another enemy - market conditons, finance etc.

This way, you lessen friction and marital woes with your wife. What has changed materially? Nothing. You still have not spent money. But now, your wife and you are in agreement.

I am telling you and TS to change your mind on how you view things.

[youmee]

Originally Posted by MoeLanYong

There is a difference between agreeing with your wife to buy a condo vs the timing to buy. Read it again slowly.

Instead of blaming your wife for wanting a condo, you can agree with her that a condo is actually an asset, like you are agreeing with me now. The question then becomes WHEN to buy.

In doing so, your wife no longer becomes your enemy. You are both in agreement. You are both working together against another enemy - market conditons, finance etc.

This way, you lessen friction and marital woes with your wife. What has changed materially? Nothing. You still have not spent money. But now, your wife and you are in agreement.

I am telling you and TS to change your mind on how you view things.

Bro, the point is, nobody knows when to buy! lol. Even the rich can buy at the wrong time. Even buying HDB can lose money. If you know when is the next low, pls enlighten 小弟. Can private PM me if you dont want too many people to know.

[MoeLanYong]

Er....this thread is about Loving your wife. Kinda off topic to talk about property. Lol.

But since you asked. Watching property cycles is not like playing computer games. Die, re-spawn in 60 seconds. There will be opportunities. One must be patient.

There were 3 real opportunities over the last 30 years. The 1986 recession, the 1997 asian financial crisis and 2008 global financial crisis. Property prices were at rock bottom during these periods. Notice the cycles were about 10 years apart.

When it happened in 1986, I thought I had missed the boat. So I moaned like you. Then in 1997, I was not financial ready. So I learned my lesson. Saved up. Then in 2008, I caught the wind.

Nothing goes up forever. Nothing stays down forever too. There are booms and busts cycles in any economy. This is what my Economics professor taught us on the first day of lecture.