How long did you not have sex with your wife or gf?

[LordVader]

Originally Posted by allyyong

About divorce, how about being married for 8 years leow, can we get a divorce immediately? Do we need a seperation?

I also run into some problems with my hubby, enough is enough. I am just asking around abt seperation and divorce, although I dun intend to do it now.

As far as i know, nope. You still have to go through the process of separation etc. to get your divorce.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by allyyong

About divorce, how about being married for 8 years leow, can we get a divorce immediately? Do we need a seperation?

I also run into some problems with my hubby, enough is enough. I am just asking around abt seperation and divorce, although I dun intend to do it now.

There are only 4 reasons the Familee Cock will accept in granting a divorce:
1. Adultery - no time frame before can file papers, if no dispute about 4 to 6 months.
2. Desertion - No news totally of the other party, I think must at least 2 years since have any news before can file papers for divorce.
3. Separation - 3 years for agreed separation, 4 years if one party don't agree. After that take separation papers and file for divorce. One trick to use is if married more then 3 or 4 years is if both of you wants a quickie divorce, backdate the separation date to the last 3 or 4 years.
4. Unreasonable behaviour - this one the best, simply your words against his. Do you know even snide remarks everyday can be grounds to be used as unreasonable behaviour? You can say his or her attitude or behaviour changed and making it very stressful for you to stay in the marriage.

Best please hor for adultery grounds, you must have physical proof of both of them in bed and also if you should have proof it must be filed within 6 months of obtaining the proof if not no pakai...

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by allyyong

About divorce, how about being married for 8 years leow, can we get a divorce immediately? Do we need a separation?

I also run into some problems with my hubby, enough is enough. I am just asking around abt separation and divorce, although I dun intend to do it now.

Years of marriage makes no difference here.

I think u can also file for divorce basis " cannot get along".

Nowadays, it's very simple but u still need a lawyer.

Cheers

[5ag1_Boar]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

There are only 4 reasons the Familee Cock will accept in granting a divorce:
1. Adultery - no time frame before can file papers, if no dispute about 4 to 6 months.
2. Desertion - No news totally of the other party, I think must at least 2 years since have any news before can file papers for divorce.
3. Separation - 3 years for agreed separation, 4 years if one party don't agree. After that take separation papers and file for divorce. One trick to use is if married more then 3 or 4 years is if both of you wants a quickie divorce, backdate the separation date to the last 3 or 4 years.
4. Unreasonable behaviour - this one the best, simply your words against his. Do you know even snide remarks everyday can be grounds to be used as unreasonable behaviour? You can say his or her attitude or behaviour changed and making it very stressful for you to stay in the marriage.

Best please hor for adultery grounds, you must have physical proof of both of them in bed and also if you should have proof it must be filed within 6 months of obtaining the proof if not no pakai...

To clarify pt 3.

After 3 years separation, either party can file for divorce IF the other party also agree to divorce.

After 4 years separation, either party can file for divorce even if the other party does not agree to divorce.

But this is not the end of the story. How fast the divorce (no matter by which reason) and how much it costs depends on how smooth the negotitions for assets, maintenance, custody of children (if any), etc. Some divorce can go straight to court but spend months and years to finalise because of the negotiations. Of course the longer it drags and the more often your lawyer has to work (writng letters, filing documents, appear in court, etc) the more it will cost.

Also, in some cases, the court will ask both parties to go for counselling first. If counselling does not help, then the case can continue.

When it comes to legal matters, best to seek lawyer advice. A good one. Most are willing to consult for half and hour for about $50 to few hundred $.

[rengh73]

Originally Posted by xilverzap

I dont feel the same way as i did before for my wife now although she is good. It is just myself that have fallen for another. And the relationship deepens with the other now. I used to think I can pull the brakes if the situation thickens but seems like I'd been sucked into another whirlpool of love for another. Haiz...

Keep both is definitely not an option as my wife is not willing to share me. That I understand. Not many wives would like to share their husbands. What do I do now? I really dont know too. I am kinda loss here. LoL....

Same boat? lol.. well.. perhaps 1 day we can kopi and lament over this silly situation we land overselves in when the dick take charge of the thinking....

Like I say earlier, these things are not easy to handle and it affects people's emotions and really have to handle with a lot of care although the damage is done.

Hi bro n sis,

probabaly u guys can give me some advise. As i look thru this thread i came to realised that i must really face my prevailinng problem. Is not really about sex, but companionship. My wife works from 10 to 10... so basically i see her only t nite after fetching her n by that time abt to sleep (me). she work on weekends too....
Basically i hv all the time in the world but i am nt njoyin it, spoke to her over this but she thought that her "job" comes first. I am thinking wether to end our 1 yr marriage or nt. no kids yet (not i dun want but her).
I am not having any affair outside now though.....

any advice?

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by rengh73

Hi bro n sis,

probabaly u guys can give me some advise. As i look thru this thread i came to realised that i must really face my prevailinng problem. Is not really about sex, but companionship. My wife works from 10 to 10... so basically i see her only t nite after fetching her n by that time abt to sleep (me). she work on weekends too....
Basically i hv all the time in the world but i am nt njoyin it, spoke to her over this but she thought that her "job" comes first. I am thinking wether to end our 1 yr marriage or nt. no kids yet (not i dun want but her).
I am not having any affair outside now though.....

any advice?

That would really affect your marriage life bro. Working from 10-10 means u always have dinner alone, walking around town or sitting and watching TV....

I been there and seen that. Guess u better adv her to change job before u change her.

A girl once told me about her husband. "We see each other often but never really together" both work shift and the only real time spend together is in the bed....hehehe

Cheers

[5ag1_Boar]

Originally Posted by rengh73

Hi bro n sis,

probabaly u guys can give me some advise. As i look thru this thread i came to realised that i must really face my prevailinng problem. Is not really about sex, but companionship. My wife works from 10 to 10... so basically i see her only t nite after fetching her n by that time abt to sleep (me). she work on weekends too....
Basically i hv all the time in the world but i am nt njoyin it, spoke to her over this but she thought that her "job" comes first. I am thinking wether to end our 1 yr marriage or nt. no kids yet (not i dun want but her).
I am not having any affair outside now though.....

any advice?

That is not a marriage.

Have you asked her whether she is happy with the relationship? And what her plans are? Is she planning to work like this for the rest of her life? Or does she have some kind of 5 years/10 years plan to get to some point so that she or both of you can retire young?

Does she want this marriage to be better? Is there something missing in it? Does she feel like she does not want to stay married? What does she want from the marriage? What does she want from you as a husband?

Find out her goals and plans. She might be more appreciative if you are more supportive of her plans. Then over time, she will feel loved, and she may reciprocate by making time for you. The plan here is to make her feel loved.

If she is too busy to make time for you, then ask her to make time for you once a week for a date. Tell her she cannot cancel the date. Then you make plans for the date.

Tell her her work won't dissappear if she neglects it for a few hours. Ask her whether is this how she wants to work for the rest of her life? Try to figure out her driving force? Does she have some NEED to acheive something? Or she feels that she is a failure if she cannot deliver her work on time? Does she feel she is overloaded at work? (Some people just allow themselves to be overloaded, but on the other hand, cannot help but must complete it.)

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by rengh73

Basically i hv all the time in the world but i am nt njoyin it, spoke to her over this but she thought that her "job" comes first. I am thinking wether to end our 1 yr marriage or nt. no kids yet (not i dun want but her).

Sometimes I wonder, is it a valid excuse for women to give "work" as reason for not "contribute" in terms of time and romance/sex in any relationship. To me, it seems like the woman has lost passions in the relationship.

jimbo

[shengge]

Hello everyone,
I have been following this thread for quite sometimes liao but somehow I was thinking how should I start. Well, let me start by answering to the title of this thread..................errr like one in past few months.......cannot remember liao but sure still remember how to make love !

I agree with most of you that sex is part of marriage, but IMHO love brings two souls together.

In this modern society the role of woman has changed drastically. They are less dependant on guys and contributed a reasonable portion when family is concerned. It needs two hands to clap, therefore we need to look at the situation in different perspectives and great that there are many "samstress" or sis are involved.

As for my case, my wife needs to work longer hours than required, most of the time return home later than me. As for weekends, she has just picked up extra courses for her self-improvement needs. At times, I do get frustrated and annoyed not because I don’t get sex, simply because she got the opportunity to rest earlier (though already not so early liao) she still refuse to sleep and watch TV serial at 1~2am. And most of the time, I get TL that cannot get to sleep well. (By the way, she just sms me that……on the way home…….time now is 1:03am). Sometimes, I told myself, prob this is the only way she can get relax after a tough day work, pointless to go into argument and only then I get to feel better. Prob over these times, I have learned to me more tolerant or use to it liao.

Sorry, bro and sis, will cont again, wife just reached home.

Cheers!

[beingunknown200]

Originally Posted by shengge

Hello everyone,
I have been following this thread for quite sometimes liao but somehow I was thinking how should I start. Well, let me start by answering to the title of this thread..................errr like one in past few months.......cannot remember liao but sure still remember how to make love !

Hello Bro! So do your wife still initiate sex with you or vice versa with such working hours? Sounds like you guys dont have kids...haha how can you tahan months w/o sex?

With many bros here citing their examples, sometimes I wonder, is work (and self-improvement) an excuse to reject intimacy in a relationship? Are there more underlying reasons to reject intimacy....a change of heart?

[Rainman]

Home at 1 am? What is she doing?

Regards

[shengge]

Bro BU200,
To answer your questions,

Originally Posted by beingunknown200

do your wife still initiate sex with you or vice versa with such working hours?

I would say the atmosphere or situation not right to make love, especially when she looks tired.

Originally Posted by beingunknown200

Sounds like you guys dont have kids...haha how can you tahan months w/o sex?

We do have kids, parents and maid are looking after them.
Good question, errr..........sometimes with the help of Five Buddies loh!

Originally Posted by beingunknown200

With many bros here citing their examples, sometimes I wonder, is work (and self-improvement) an excuse to reject intimacy in a relationship? Are there more underlying reasons to reject intimacy....a change of heart?

Originally Posted by rengh73

My wife works from 10 to 10... so basically i see her only t nite after fetching her n by that time abt to sleep (me). she work on weekends too....

For this question, I would like to reply you and rengh73 together, put this into another scenario, if you, the hubby were to work from 10-10, how your wife think abt this? None of us, including our spouse is willing to work until wee hours.
Well, bro rengh73 case, I think background info provided is too little to make comment. As far as marriage is concerned, most couples are willing to sacrifice now for better future life. I would not mind if my wife works for long hours for the above reason, so you got to consider your case separately.

Bro BU200, in this competitive world, I think work has occupied much of our time, additional self-improvement plan simply reduce our time available for the family or even intimacy. Well, unless our government is willing to reduce our working hours like those European countries, offices and shops close very early and prob with the ban of alcohol like Arabs countries, then situation may change .............

Sorry if I have offended anyone, just my 2 cents!

Cheers!

[rengh73]

Originally Posted by Rainman

That would really affect your marriage life bro. Working from 10-10 means u always have dinner alone, walking around town or sitting and watching TV....

I been there and seen that. Guess u better adv her to change job before u change her.

A girl once told me about her husband. "We see each other often but never really together" both work shift and the only real time spend together is in the bed....hehehe

Cheers

well... almost true. i have all the time in the world to do whatever i like....even weekends... I am not njoying it lor.

[beingunknown200]

Originally Posted by shengge

Bro BU200, in this competitive world, I think work has occupied much of our time, additional self-improvement plan simply reduce our time available for the family or even intimacy. Well, unless our government is willing to reduce our working hours like those European countries, offices and shops close very early and prob with the ban of alcohol like Arabs countries, then situation may change .............

No worries man,I think i agree with u. When my gf had to take her post-grad degree,so was so busy that no time for me, and it so happens I was in-between jobs. Haha too much time, plus HSD, die. But yet I know her work is impt cos it concerns her and our future. Haha and like you, have to depend on 5 buddies LOL

We are all in a rat race....

[giggz83]

Originally Posted by beingunknown200

No worries man,I think i agree with u. When my gf had to take her post-grad degree,so was so busy that no time for me, and it so happens I was in-between jobs. Haha too much time, plus HSD, die. But yet I know her work is impt cos it concerns her and our future. Haha and like you, have to depend on 5 buddies LOL

We are all in a rat race....

bro, you and your gal are trying to get out of the rat race.. sooner out of it, dont worry. if not, it makes no sense getting a post-grad degree isnt it?

anyway .. between both of your hectic schedule, maybe can make time for some movies, shopping or some dinner .. ahh .. slowly slowly may lead to a passionate nite ... rite?

makes ur relationship stronger and make sex a little more "desired"