How long did you not have sex with your wife or gf?

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by beingunknown200

I dont tink that you r stupid. Everyone makes mistake n we just learn from them n move on. I do sympathise with your current situation. Seriously, being a guy myself, I really tink that your husband is a good-for-nothing. Guess I am still traditional in this case, where I am brought to believe that a guy must have 上进心 and responsibility to the family. I really wish you courage that you will make the right decision soon. Dont give up on yourself or life, I believe you still have a good kid that you can live for. 加油了!

Girls and guy like she mention is still available?

That's news...

Cheers

[natsuki]

Hi there, can i join in the conversation?

Why not just say that 'How long can a marriage/relationship last without sex?but temptations from other sourses.'

Together already can divorce, divorce already can remarried. Same same lah... Who can resist temptation? It's sometimes not about how long u never have sex with ur parnter, but how long u never show care and concern to them, or another way round...

P/s: Taiwan and Japan pink nip cream is sth like spray on type... Americans is more on those cream tube...

[BustLover]

Originally Posted by jemz

sad to say

i'm also about to give up on my marriage. it;s as good as non-existent at all. he doesn't understand my fears and reasons because of our financial probs. he thinks that our bank account is bottomless. i'm his constant ATM.

actually i dont mind if i'm earning enough to keep everything covered and support him. but the fact is, i don't and i need to work double jobs, household chores and look after him AND his pets. you know how tiring it is?

now i don't even care about sex anymore. everynight i cannot sleep coz i know there are bills to pay and we don't have enough. he doesn't work much and depends on me for a living.
there are so many times i wish to run away and be by myself. i hate myself for being stupid and let him manipulate me into a marriage which i had doubts about. i don't know how long i can be strong and withstand this marriage.

Sis Jemz, I am not sure whether you have kids or not. If you have not, I sincerely hope you have good birth-control to remain childless. If you really love kids, suggest you divorce him and look for a better capable guy that can provide for that.

Honestly, your husband is damn hopeless. Have no $$ and yet wants to keep pet. This is really too much. I will you, it will be on-dutch all the way. If he has no way to pay up, no-way I will chip in. That is how I will handle him.
No doubt about it.

By the way, most of the breakup is due to $$. Women want security and have enough $$ is 1 form of assurance that they are secured. Like they say, "No $$, No Honey." Like it or not, it is a FACT.

[mscucky]

Originally Posted by jemz

sad to say



there are so many times i wish to run away and be by myself. i hate myself for being stupid and let him manipulate me into a marriage which i had doubts about. i don't know how long i can be strong and withstand this marriage.

u r not stupid. it's just a personal choice out of ur love for him. why feel bad? don't feel regret.

don't feel sad and give up ur life. pick up the pieces and straighten up ur finances......

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by jemz

there are so many times i wish to run away and be by myself. i hate myself for being stupid and let him manipulate me into a marriage which i had doubts about. i don't know how long i can be strong and withstand this marriage.

I'm surprised that you are still hanging on. What's there left for you to keep commited? Most people in your situation would have left unless there were kids holding them back.

Its sad but most if not all cases do not improve without any reasons to.

Find some time to yourself and ask yourself why you are hanging on. There could be a real reason to OR no reason at all, just fear of a new situation.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by surfer888

Primalhunter (Upped)
vistaman
tanhockgin

vistaman & tanhockgin

Cannot up you because you do not have posts less than 2 days old. Let me know when you get your posts out and I will do the honors.

[shrek]

Originally Posted by BustLover

Sis Jemz, I am not sure whether you have kids or not. If you have not, I sincerely hope you have good birth-control to remain childless. If you really love kids, suggest you divorce him and look for a better capable guy that can provide for that.

Honestly, your husband is damn hopeless. Have no $$ and yet wants to keep pet. This is really too much. I will you, it will be on-dutch all the way. If he has no way to pay up, no-way I will chip in. That is how I will handle him.
No doubt about it.

By the way, most of the breakup is due to $$. Women want security and have enough $$ is 1 form of assurance that they are secured. Like they say, "No $$, No Honey." Like it or not, it is a FACT.

but there are still girls when u can provide her with life, she wants better one..

[beingunknown200]

Originally Posted by natsuki

Together already can divorce, divorce already can remarried. Same same lah... Who can resist temptation? It's sometimes not about how long u never have sex with ur parnter, but how long u never show care and concern to them, or another way round...

I feel you said it right,sex is impt but not the most impt.but really how long u last show care n concern.even if havent had sex for some time,if affection is adequately shown,the guy or girl will still feel that he/she is appreciated.Then anything that comes after that is a bonus (i.e. sex).I find it more rewarding when I get intimate with my gf when we know that we have been good to each other...when she "helps" me out only for satisfy my needs,then I find it more of a process rather than enjoying intimacy.

"Expect less,then you wouldnt be disappointed when you dont get it.Anything more than your expectations will be a bonus.Expect more and you will never be satisfied" (haha think that should be my signature from now on)

[jaclyn]

Originally Posted by jemz

sad to say

i'm also about to give up on my marriage. it;s as good as non-existent at all. he doesn't understand my fears and reasons because of our financial probs. he thinks that our bank account is bottomless. i'm his constant ATM.

actually i dont mind if i'm earning enough to keep everything covered and support him. but the fact is, i don't and i need to work double jobs, household chores and look after him AND his pets. you know how tiring it is?

now i don't even care about sex anymore. everynight i cannot sleep coz i know there are bills to pay and we don't have enough. he doesn't work much and depends on me for a living. if i need sex, i just turn on my vibe. if he wants it, den i just give it to him. but all the emotions now are void.

to me, now he's like a liability. i have no wish to become a housewife, but i want someone who's understanding and shares my burden. i don't ask for much, just someone to ensure that there's a safe shelter abv our heads and food to eat. but he cannot even fulfill that.

there are so many times i wish to run away and be by myself. i hate myself for being stupid and let him manipulate me into a marriage which i had doubts about. i don't know how long i can be strong and withstand this marriage.

hi sis jemz... i knw exactly how u feel... same gose to my husband...

we have to be strong for our kid/kids, if u have... dun blame urself... although i'm angry with myself at times too... but wat for blame ourselves for this kind of man... i'm juz praying for my kid to grow up soon... so i can chose to div him by then... let us pray together... kekeke....

[evo3]

just tell your husband and ask him to be more understanding and help out on the house work and work together as a team. only that you can save your marriage. is no point of blaming who is rite who is wrong.

[allyyong]

I did mention that sex although plays an important role, communication between a couple is also damn important.

When kidsarrive, couples say nothing except talk abt their kids. Those with financial problems are worse, because u are so tied down by the financial strains...couples rarely talk and then subsequently rarely have sex.

I do ponder over my problems sometimes. My problems are not major, but I am feel empty, feeling rather helpess in this relationship. I want someone who can talk to me, who can hug me, who can cuddle me, who can remember wat he likes me for when he first knew me. Sad to say, as time goes by, the spouse forgets the reasons why he or she married his or her partner.

I dun have kids, so easier for me to leave the relationship if I want to. Now, at the moment, I wonder is it because I am feeling the 7 years itch or wat??? Sex at the most with spouse is only so so nia. COs nowadays he just turn over and sleep.

[beingunknown200]

just to add to Allyong is that...I think it is impt that married couples do not confuse the terms "wife" and "mother" esp after having kids. When they interchange these 2 terms together, then it will be hard for both sides to look at each other in a romantic/sexual/loving way between husband n wife.From 贤妻 will become 黄脸婆! I feel that by keeping these 2 identity separately, it will help each other to remember their spouse as lovers rather than as parents, and keep the passion going!

Well, unless your wife is also a "hot" mum...haha then I have nothing to say but congratulate you on hitting the jackpot

[jemz]

thx for the encouragement...

there are many reasons for hanging on. mostly for practical reasons.

no, we don't have a kid and don't intend to have one with him. it's almost impossible to get by now, a kid will strain our already precarious financial situation.

i dont think it's true when no money equates no honey. my husband has no money, but i still love him. a whole lot in fact. it just upsets me that he has got bad habits that he doesnt kick and the money isnt pouring in. in fact, if i earn 5k a month and he prefers to stay at home, i don't mind supporting him.

i lament because financial security is lacking. not for myself, but for the house. it's the only thing we have and i'm trying my best to sustain it. if this house is gone, our marriage is over. it's only normal that every women sees this as an important aspect when finding a husband. which person, male or female, would want to marry someone whom they know will be a financial liability knowing that they themselves are not capable of supporting the family alone? not all women are gold diggers.

i can only pray that this situation will improve. and his temper too. i'm going for a job interview, hopefully it goes through, so i can have a stable income on top of tutoring. i'm also upset that he's never shown any support or words of encouragement for me getting a job to provide for the both of us. i hope the guys here will never treat your wives like that. if you know she's trying, do be more encouraging. even praising her for simple things like the house is so neat, food is nice, blah blah... its really nice to hear some words to make our job worthwhile.

[Kyser Soze]

Originally Posted by jemz

i can only pray that this situation will improve. and his temper too. i'm going for a job interview, hopefully it goes through, so i can have a stable income on top of tutoring. i'm also upset that he's never shown any support or words of encouragement for me getting a job to provide for the both of us. i hope the guys here will never treat your wives like that. if you know she's trying, do be more encouraging. even praising her for simple things like the house is so neat, food is nice, blah blah... its really nice to hear some words to make our job worthwhile.

Things are not easy from what I understand. But even if you work 24/7, I doubt things will change much. Your husband must be responsible. If I were you, I would have kicked him out of the house. What I could give you is only words of encourgement... Hang on, sis. You have done a good job. Stay tough!

[jemz]

i;m staying tough or trying hard to

i had it with him. he shouted at me today saying i'm not doing the chores. i work and cook and clean when i come back. i do not have time to mop until i weekend comes so i get the day off to do the major ones. he just think that by mopping the floor he's doing the world a damn great favor.

i do not need a husband who does not understand me, does not share my stress and burden with me, and all put the blame on me when something goes wrong. if he doesnt so much as understand why i do all that for him, he's the dumbest man on earth.

honestly, i'm not such a bad lady. i cook, i work and clean. i put my husband and his needs as 1st priority. i initiate sex. i try to make life more interesting. i try to make our marriage more romantic. i take care of the bills and i manage the house. i'm not god. i make my mistakes and definitely i do get lazy after coming home from work. i'm human and I'M TIRED.

he's worthless and said we shouldnt have gotten married. wants a divorce. if he wants one, i'll be more than glad to give it to him. damn...

i hope not all local guys are like that.

-give up, disappointed, emotionally and mentally drained-