Why do you get married? Why have kids?

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

god created holes in women and sticks in men. that's the whole idea of bringing 2 together. but of course, some others choose to go against this natural flow. still, the initial idea was for men and women to complete each other.

i know that it's wrong of me to come to my conclusion just based on SBF. but men around me, including my dad, brother and uncles, are just showing me otherwise. i still have faith in men though. i don't want to search for the right guy yet. as of now, i just want to have fun and enjoy life.

'man not bad, woman dont love'. some girls love bad guys cos they r fun to be with but yet expect them to be faithful? in life u cant have the best of both worlds, be realistic in yr expectations and u will find someone who can give u trust n love one day.

[lightning]

Originally Posted by Oralcraz

Agreed. Upbringing a child is not easy emotionally, physically and financially. Don't forget to include tuition, extra activities (music etc etc). Unless we are not good father, everything don't care, then that's simple ..... but ..... am sure majority are responsible. Cost of living is one of the main reason why I don't want more kids. "Baby bonus" really doesn't help in my opinion. Good luck.

Yeah the candies give out by garment does not helps in the long run. In other countries like mlysia, there are more young couples get married and have kids by age of 25. here raising kids can bring emotional and finacial stress....

[ah_heng81]

Got married because i love her and she loves me more than i love her @ that point of time and not to forget the baby in her stomach. haha . And after married and the birth of our boy, i found that i love her even more. Maybe i should say having a kid really change my life and make me a happier person , although it was a nightmare having to wake up middle of the night to attend to his needs.

When our boy was around 2 years old , my wife suddenly change and started to telling me she regret getting married early and losing her freedom so i told her to do whatever she wants and i can handle our kid myself. Till late last year something happened while she was out enjoying , she suddenly change again and became a very homely person and always there to take care of us.

Think my 3 to 4 years wait is quite worth while

[naturegreen]

Originally Posted by ah_heng81

When our boy was around 2 years old , my wife suddenly change and started to telling me she regret getting married early and losing her freedom so i told her to do whatever she wants and i can handle our kid myself. Till late last year something happened while she was out enjoying , she suddenly change again and became a very homely person and always there to take care of us.

Think my 3 to 4 years wait is quite worth while

Bro, you are a great man! Let me salute you for that. I bet the rest on something happened is for us to imagine?

Marriage is when a man and woman becomes as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

[ah_heng81]

Originally Posted by naturegreen

Bro, you are a great man! Let me salute you for that. I bet the rest on something happened is for us to imagine?

Marriage is when a man and woman becomes as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Haha, nothing to imagine lor, just that my son was really sick and i didnt bother to inform her and settle it myself. Bring see doc and feed medcine only mah... simple job.

[lightning]

Originally Posted by ah_heng81

Haha, nothing to imagine lor, just that my son was really sick and i didnt bother to inform her and settle it myself. Bring see doc and feed medcine only mah... simple job.

Guess it is women s' nature to get worried when someting happen to the kid and start regerting or get gulity why they din take care of their kids well and change their concepts. agreed that getting married early and have kids soon will make the parent stay at home more.

[StillLearning]

Originally Posted by lovetorn

different mindset, different thinking.

as of now, i don't see myself getting married in the near future. actually, i don't see myself getting married even when i am 30! but that's just because i haven't met the right guy to give me that thinking. i know that part of me wants to settle down when it's time to and have 2 kids max.

but...after surfing sbf for quite some time, i came to realise something. i know i'll get zapped by others here but it's what i think and feel. men can't be trusted. i know that i'm not a saint either, so if the guy doesn't mind my past, in what position am i to expect him to stay faithful to me. but sbf proves that 9 out of 10 married men, strays.

if ever a divorce is in the picture, having kids will just put a strain on the relationship. a couple can part amicably but when it comes to the custody of kids, things change.

so as for me, marriage is not completely out of my future. just got to wait till the right time and the right one comes.

With respect, I believe that your allegation that 9 out of 10 men stray is overly sweeping.

After our third child was born, and my spouse was negatively affected by post-partum blues, she gave me permission to seek other ladies. But I told her that I rather spent those few hundred $ on presents for her or something nice for her.

We have known each other for almost 20 years, and married for almost 15 years. So far so good.

[StillLearning]

Originally Posted by Big Sexy

i am from the old school.
i only have one girlfriend and she is my missus.
we have been together for more than 25 years now and
still enjoys each others company..

marriage was a natural thing for us..

Congratulations.
Thank you for the good informative posts from you.

[Xdecepticon]

Getting married is one thing. Having children?? U better start doing ur calculation right!

In Sillypore, everything is going up! Cost of living, rising propertie$, maintaining kid$ etc etc etc! If both parents not earning $10K a mth, u can forget about having children. And tat too provided tat u r guaranteed not thrown out of job!

With so many FT in Sillypore, taking our ricebowl (personal experience), and no gurarantee our jobs are stable/secure cos any moment we can be told to leave, do u guys still tink u can afford to marry and HAVE CHILDREN??

[ah_heng81]

Originally Posted by Xdecepticon

Getting married is one thing. Having children?? U better start doing ur calculation right!

In Sillypore, everything is going up! Cost of living, rising propertie$, maintaining kid$ etc etc etc! If both parents not earning $10K a mth, u can forget about having children. And tat too provided tat u r guaranteed not thrown out of job!

With so many FT in Sillypore, taking our ricebowl (personal experience), and no gurarantee our jobs are stable/secure cos any moment we can be told to leave, do u guys still tink u can afford to marry and HAVE CHILDREN??

No doubt money plays a important part of everyone's life, but we dont really need $10K a mth to have kids and maintaining the family. Its all depends on how we manage our money. My wife and i have a combine take home pay of abt 6k per mth and i think we live quite happily with it. Other than PUB bills (knn at least 250/mth) and other bills, the only loan we have to service is our housing (by cpf) and car loan and we can still afford to go on overseas trips once or twice a year.

One thing i really do agree is nowadays no jobs are secure, you not happy work, boss go employ someone cheaper and better in eduction.

[Xdecepticon]

Originally Posted by ah_heng81

One thing i really do agree is nowadays no jobs are secure, you not happy work, boss go employ someone cheaper and better in eduction.

U tink $10K is alot? U know wat they mean by $ave it for a rainy damn day? U juz need to put aside some of the $urplu$ cos if u work and stay in Sillypore, ur job$ r never stable and secure. Remember..when u r out of job, so is ur CPF. And where is ur $aving cos u need to top up ur loan in hard cash.

[lightning]

Originally Posted by Xdecepticon

U tink $10K is alot? U know wat they mean by $ave it for a rainy damn day? U juz need to put aside some of the $urplu$ cos if u work and stay in Sillypore, ur job$ r never stable and secure. Remember..when u r out of job, so is ur CPF. And where is ur $aving cos u need to top up ur loan in hard cash.

Chinese banquet plus honeymoon throw $$$, buying a lovenest HDB (inclusive renovation, furniture, bills etc.) flat near half a million gone, raising up kids (buy baby stuffs to textbook etc.) also money bleeding.

Basically in Sinkapore, garment plans all these to make sure we work our asses our entire lives. The policies are made to protect comapnies than to citizens' interests. bringing FT in is to create "the fittest survives" environment to force locals to improve and also learn skills and experinces from FT.

[lightning]

Originally Posted by StillLearning

After our third child was born, and my spouse was negatively affected by post-partum blues, she gave me permission to seek other ladies. But I told her that I rather spent those few hundred $ on presents for her or something nice for her.

We have known each other for almost 20 years, and married for almost 15 years. So far so good.

U hav my respect

this woman really deserve ur affection

[canI1you]

Originally Posted by ah_heng81

No doubt money plays a important part of everyone's life, but we dont really need $10K a mth to have kids and maintaining the family. Its all depends on how we manage our money. My wife and i have a combine take home pay of abt 6k per mth and i think we live quite happily with it. Other than PUB bills (knn at least 250/mth) and other bills, the only loan we have to service is our housing (by cpf) and car loan and we can still afford to go on overseas trips once or twice a year.

One thing i really do agree is nowadays no jobs are secure, you not happy work, boss go employ someone cheaper and better in eduction.

$6k couple with no kids, have house, car and can go twice a year holiday. Possible but must also be quite thrifty.

Let’s take your case as an example. Car loan assuming you drive a 2,000cc car that you are paying a monthly instalment of $1,000. Petrol, car park, ERP, road tax, car insurance est. another $1,200. PUB, Phone, cable TV, broadband, insurance est. $500. Grocery, entertainment, dinning est. $800. Personal Insurance and lunch in weekdays est. $1,000. Credit card bills and giving to parents est. $1,200. The total amount spend est is $5,700 and balance $300. If you include buying of 4D, Toto, soccer, cigarette and clubbing that don't seem enough. Unless you are driving a 1,200cc car, credit cards bill at $500 and not giving to parent, that might save you another $1,000 + $700 + bal $300 = $2,000. Yes, gambling, smoking and clubbing still have some balance for trips.

Let take for example if a combine income of $10k minus of CPF is $8,000. Do you think is enough to own a 2000cc car, with maid, gambling, smoking, clubbing, holiday trips and saving?

Tough! What if you have 2 kids? A tin of 900g milk powder is est. $15 that may last 5 days for baby. Diaper on avg 40cents a piece and avg the usage for baby is 6 pieces and that is $2.40. Just these 2 items for a month is $162. Looks quite ok right? Because things like wipes, oilment, powder, lotion, body shampoo, etc still not included. What about first time become parent you need to buy clothings, stroller, walker, baby cot, latex or coconut mattress, bed sheet, etc... Also medical checkups from first week, 1 months, 3 months, 6 months etc until I also lost count. All these are money needed. Don't forget to buy insurance for kids that will added in another $200 plus or so for 1 kid. By the time they are ready for nursery education, the kid’s bill will go up and up and up and never come down.

Well, once you have earn that much, you will want to give the best to your kids and all because you take the responsibility but it is not easy in Sillypore. Avg middle income take home pay is about $3k so do you think is enough? Everything is possible and depending what you want to give to your kids. Holiday trips...can postpone liao...

For those who have kids, happy parenting... you know I know too.

[yvesloh]

don't know leh. No point getting married when you can boink anywhere. Why give up a really good thing for a second rated thing?