the 3 that changed me

[Sen5eS]

if it helps you get thru Post-Ian why not ...

[EnigmaofSorrow]

Originally Posted by drslump99

Potluck!!?? No one says anything about potluck!!
If I knew it is potluck, I would not have come!!!
waste 80 cents taking a bus here!!!

Originally Posted by kittymae

Glad someone else appreciates it too.


Aside, just wondering abt the interest on e ground for side stories... Post Ian period stuff...

I'm interested! Haha. More stuff to read...,

[kittymae]

Originally Posted by Sen5eS

if it helps you get thru Post-Ian why not ...

Hmm good point!
Let me think further if its possible to flesh it out to be proper stories..

Originally Posted by EnigmaofSorrow

I'm interested! Haha. More stuff to read...,

read??? While leaving us readers hanging at ur threads? Nono..
This way to ur thread ->>>>
Update update update update!!

[EnigmaofSorrow]

Originally Posted by kittymae

Hmm good point!
Let me think further if its possible to flesh it out to be proper stories..



read??? While leaving us readers hanging at ur threads? Nono..
This way to ur thread ->>>>
Update update update update!!

I'm writing fiction now.. see who's interested to read...

[fd1234]

Originally Posted by kittymae

Thanks for the encouragement. Those were dark days...i will touch on it in the "finale". it taught me to be more independent tho.
Indeed it was hard to standup again by myself and move on each time while carrying that hurt and other feelings , and also without the tendency to reach out for a friendly supporting hand.
But I had to. the only one who could help myself, was me alone.
Their goodwill to help me stand again, would be detrimental.
I needed to learn how to stand on my own. I did. And took a step forward.
And found Ian.

In my opinion, it is resilience and not independence that those dark episodes taught you. You have learnt to get up after each fall; while there might have been a certain degree of numbness, it is still preferable to wallowing in self-pity.

Life is never fair since some find their happy ever after on their first try but hey, each failed attempt will simply means that you will appreciate the right one that wee bit more if and when you have had found him.

[kittymae]

The Finale: Part 1

Friday couldn't pass quickly enough for me. Yet I was aware that as time passed by and brought Ian closer to me, it was also a count down to his eventual departure.

"Enjoy the limited time we have together"
These words resonated in my mind as I waited for Ian to arrive.
At the very least, I wanted to have good memories to keep.

Ian arrived timely as he said he would and we spent the next 20-30mins just chatting.
We were in my room, on the bed with Ian leaning against the wall, his arm reaching around my waist, caressing; I was half lying on my side, half hugging Ian & resting head on his chest.
Every now and then, Ian would bend down and kiss me. And I teased "How come ure so kissy today?", knowing fully that Ian well, just enjoyed kissing a lot. Anytime, anyplace. Lol.

Soon, the kiss developed into a make out session with serious tongue action. I don't recall having been 'explored' by Ethan that thoroughly. Hahaa.
Compared to the first time, everything went at a more relaxed pace. Perhaps we were more prepared on what would come next, or maybe cos we knew we had more time- 12 hours, give or take a few minutes to get it right this time. Just some light touching, fondling here and there.
But I could also feel growing hard, pressing against me and when we finally paused to catch a breath, I could also see the growing desire in his eyes, reflecting what I felt similarly inside.

Me: go off the light. Oh, and lock the door (safety first! Haha)
Ian: u want it off?
Me: (nods head)

Guys, if the girl is shy, if its her first time, or whatever reason, if she wants the lights off, comply.
while u may wanna enjoy a clear view of what is obviously gonna happen next- whether it's her face in ecstasy, or your hands on her firm boobs or her perky butt- many girls are still conscious about this bit, and having the lights off does help lift her inhibitions.
So I was glad that while Ian seemed to want them one, he complied with my request to have the lights off.

While Ian switched the lights off, I adjusted my position on the bed, against the pillows. As Ian came closer, I reached out,and pulled him towards me, my mouth finding his as we continued where we left off. This time, it felt more sensual, more urgent, as if in expectation of what came next. Even in our actions- from the caressing and softly fondling of my breasts, Ian moved to massaging them, adding a little squeeze. Then he moved to remove my bra and continued massaging them through the tank top I was wearing, sucking on them in turn. The sensation was quite different from having a mouth on my bare skin, as the cloth added friction, which actually makes it feel pretty good for those with sensitive nips.
And me, I was enjoying of that as I ran my hands along Ian's back, slipping into the back of his jeans and to his butt. Due to how we were positioned (our legs inter-wound with each others) my right leg was pressed against his crotch. Heehee... Used my leg to apply a bit more pressure and rubbing against him abit.
Perhaps encouraged by that, Ian pushed up my top, and starting working on my by now slightly swollen (from his touch) breasts. I do so love it when he increased the intensity slowly, and then to lightly biting/tugging on my nips just as I had asked him to the previous time.

A tad frustrated at having to hold my top up, decided to remove it completely. Ian followed suit.
Straightening up, he removed his polo tee and tossed it aside.
I grabbed him by them belt hoops of his jeans and pulled him to me, undoing them, while at the same time, I returned the service I'd just received from him- licking, sucking and nibbling on his nips. First time I realized guy's nips could also get harder like us girls. And even more of a pleasant surprise when 'nibbling' to hear a moan of surprise and pleasure. So we kinda like the same things done to us eh? Lols.

From there it didn't take too long for Ian to undress totally & do the same to me... What surprised me though, was him going down on me willingly. Perhaps, I wasn't the only one doing research the night before. Heehee. But it couldn't beat his finger work... Actually, thinking about it, Ian was the best of all to date in this aspect, hands down.
Naturally, I would reciprocate and nudged him indicating it was my turn. Weirdly, I have some soft of weird satisfaction every time after going down on him. Maybe it cause Ian unabashedly shows how much he enjoys it, and the "power" I wield over him there. *shrugs* I guess I'll find out if I ever become some test subject for a lab or sthg. Haha.
Initially I was doing it from the side when Ian got me to shift so that we could mutually please each other. The 'legendary 69'. I was kinda shy placing my privates right in the face of another person..but what the heck..he'd already seen all of me. It was quite a experience, and possibly quite distracting as well- attempting to give yet at same time be receiving pleasure.
(perhaps with practice, Ian could also,be proficient in this area. But I'll never know. Right now, my 'torturer' aka T holds the top spot for this. Finding the sensitive bits,that make me squirm in pleasure, especially with his tongue work there. Now I wonder if its because he has a longer tongue..haha..maybe I,should measure it. Heehee)

[kittymae]

The Finale: Part 2

Soon I got 'impatient' and wanted to finish what we didn't manage too the previous time. Ian it seemed, shared the same thoughts. He fetched the cdm & put it on, and I gave him a mini hj to get him a harder- he seemed to enjoy it judging from his expression. Once ready, lube in hand, Ian proceeded to make his entry into me. Slowly, like I asked him too.

I guess I wasn't wet enough, cos we had the same problem again. Thank goodness for the lube...but still, despite trying the missionary twice-which supposedly is best for first, it didn't work.
We decided to try,something different. With me atop, and slowly see myself onto Ian.
Surprisingly, it worked! Lols....
A good thing too cos,I could control how fast/slow to let slide onto him...cos..IT DAMN FREAKING HURT :s!!!!! I was numbed by pain for at least a good few minutes before I could feel anything.
Ian kind of sensed I was too numbed to move by myself, so he pretty much did the work. As "T" candidly coined it ( to my amusement when he was doing the same just recently) he 'fucked up' hahaa.. At times, Ian would just pull me to lie on his chest, just frenching.
This is something I would grow to like a lot, and I can't speak for all, but many girls would too.
Perhaps it was inexperience or stamina or I dunno, Ian came soon after.
I remarked that was fast, earning a sheepish look from him.

It should have been a sweet moment after, cuddling together...
But somehow conversation led to topics that made me kinda emo- basically about personal stuffs, including the past with K, with Ethan..
Now bros here, do confess, do you get freaked out if ur gal gets all emo, especially after sex?
How would u react? What would u do? Or would u freeze up, do nothing?
What Ian did?
Instead of backing off, running away, especially since we weren't a couple, just friends who happened to sleep together, Ian just hugged me, reassuring me it was okay, wiping the tears that had now begun to flow freely.
Anti-climax I know...

Maybe it was to distract me, or maybe it was something on his mind for awhile, after I had collected myself,

Ian: What about us?
Me: what us? (There isn't any 'us' since we hadn't defined our relationship. At least,IMO)

Perhaps those 2 words said so carelessly in my emo state, hurt Ian and brought things to how they are today.

Ian: (after a short silence) do we treat this like a casual relationship- just sex. Or,remain as friends and treat whatever happened between us as a once-off.like friends with benefits in the past.
Me: the cleanest way would be to say our goodbyes and never contact again.

Saying these words, I felt a pain hit me through the heart. How much it hurt me to bring myself to say that. But, holding on would not be fair to either of us would it? Separated not by age alone, but a continent,and an ocean between.
Hearing that, and after the emo burst out, Ethan said he thought he should be going already.
Only the fact that he didn't want risk being seen by family that made him stay.

To ease the mood, we just lay down together as if nothing had happened, Ian scrolling through my iPod, randomly selecting songs to listen to. Funny how such a simple act felt like it was the nicest thing. Occasionally, when he was familiar with the song, Ian would sing softly along.

I didn't see it coming, but suddenly Ian rolled atop of me and began kissing me, frenching... and I kinda got the hint. Pass e cdm over please..
Again he entered me similarly- with my being atop.
But thankfully the second time, it wasn't as painful as the first time he entered me. Perhaps I was now prepared for the degree of pain to expect. Managed to vary abit with the missionary ( he used a pillow as a prop for my hips- someone has definitely been doing research!)
Ian also attempted to dog me, which he confessed was his fav ( which guy doesn't like thus position? Most would rite), as he came the 2nd time that night.
Sitting atop of him (what we later found out is erm.,lotus or sthg), talked abit more, again he was conscious about satisfying me...and somehow, the topic led to our mutual confessions- it was the first for both of us. Lols. Tat kinda explained the state of clumsiness as we went about somethings.

As we lay down to sleep, a dozen thoughts ran through my mind.
The most pressing being- we had to say our goodbyes soon, for good, by virtue of my choice.
And then, could I ever forget Ian? His being my first, and the memories of our time together...

Morning came all too soon, and a wave of unexplainable sadness came over me as I walked Ian to the door, and stood on tip toe to meet his lips for one last kiss.



The Hardest Day
One more day, one last look
Before I leave it all behind
And play the role that's meant for us
That said we'd say goodbye

One more night by your side
Where our dreams collide
And all we have is everything
And there's no pain there's no hurt
There's no wrong it's all right

If I promise to believe will you believe
That there's nowhere that we'd rather be
Nowhere describes where we are
Ive no choice, I love you
Leave, love you, wave goodbye
And all I ever wanted was to stay
And nothing in this world's gonna change, change

Never wanna wake up from this night
Never wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only, only you
Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
Leaving you, the hardest day of my life
The hardest day of my life

I still breathe, I still eat
And the sun it shines the same as it did yesterday
But there's no warmth, no light
I feel empty inside

But I never will regret a single day
I know it isn't going to go away
What I'm feeling for you
I will always love you
Leave, love you, wave goodbye
And all, and all I ever wanted was to stay
Nothing in this world's gonna change...

Never wanna wake up from this night
Never wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only, only you
Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
I never knew I'd ever feel this way
I feel for you...
Never wanna wake up, I feel for you, from this night
Never wanna leave this moment
Wainting for you only, only you
Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
Leaving you, the hardest day of my life...


Tbc.

[kittymae]

Originally Posted by EnigmaofSorrow

I'm writing fiction now.. see who's interested to read...

Nothing beats real life and all ur punishing(?!)experiences!

[kittymae]

Originally Posted by studmuffin69

Appreciate your efforts.. take your time as I'm sure your supporters will understand!

Thanks! I'm repaying the patience with a bumper post (had to break into 2 due to word limit)

Originally Posted by Coffeecans

Wah. Thanks for the compliments Kitty.

小意思! Ure stories hv kept me entertained for many a day...and ur style of writing..from TS to another, RESPECT!!!
请您今日以后多多指教小妹！

Originally Posted by Naruto-FF

Normally not a fan of stories but the way you write it makes it pleasant and really interesting to read. Learnt many things too. Keep it up! Will be camping here.

Lols. I do hope I'm imparting the right stuff for ur learning tho, but thanks for dropping by!

Originally Posted by acidicavex

Haha well only u know which one is meant to be te exclusive one but whether he get 'exclusive treatment' will depend on how exclusive to u lo..

Exclusive treatment? Lol
U have no idea how right u are. Hahahhaha :x

[queeniegal]

Gal... Nice one ha u are brave to write also... (=
I also studying now @ smu but my class all are old people at least 20 older then me -.-

[kittymae]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Gal... Nice one ha u are brave to write also... (=
I also studying now @ smu but my class all are old people at least 20 older then me -.-

Queenieeeee!
I got BAITED by one E and one S Lols

Ooh... Study! Miss it lots! Take care while,juggling work n study yea. Don over work!

[curiouslala]

Wah..
Me emo already..
Its really sucks to be separated..

[Iluminati]

A girl will forever remember her first time. Very well written down to the bits of details and every single touch.
In my opinion, even though that may be the hardest decision, but it is the right decision to make by you. If breaking of at this stage already caused so much pain to your heart, to break of at a later stage would have impact a deeper suffering to both of you. This would allow both of you to cherish the memories that both of you built together.




On a side note, yeah we definitely you to continue with the side stories as we now have the existent "T". Who is "T"? hmm...interesting

[drslump99]

Originally Posted by curiouslala

Wah..
Me emo already..
Its really sucks to be separated..

I too! Sniff! Sniff! (Snatch the tissue from Lala, u can use your skirt to blow)
Parting is not sweet sorrow!
Man! I feel like a punch has landed on my chest!
I feel the pain for ya, meowwwwwwww.


Blow my nose(return the tissue to Lala) I am done . . . . . . . . .

[curiouslala]

Originally Posted by drslump99

I too! Sniff! Sniff! (Snatch the tissue from Lala, u can use your skirt to blow)
Parting is not sweet sorrow!
Man! I feel like a punch has landed on my chest!
I feel the pain for ya, meowwwwwwww.

Blow my nose(return the tissue to Lala) I am done . . . . . . . . .

Unkerrr!!!
Throw the tissue la..
I'll use my shirt to blow my nose ba..
So disgusting la u..