Toxic relationship

[fallen11]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

Hi.. I’m here to share of my experience in current relationship.

I have a gf for last 1 year plus and we have been many ups and downs. (Probably more downs than ups) isn’t it usual to have up and down in relationship as no one is perfect and getting to know each other in each and every way of their personality and characters.

We been through multiple occasions that we should be broken up but in the end we still manage to stay together. Reason like religion, perspective views, different way of doing things, etc. Even till the smallest issue can cause a break up and we often in argument. She will always intital a break up if things doesn’t goes her way. I will always try to save and hold on to the relationship. I believe it’s worth fighting for because good things doesn’t come easy. But I never want her to use break up to threaten our relationship.

This day, we were in a bus and she had a seat along the side of the bus that can be share with 4 people side by side. There’s a empty seat beside her and asked me to sit. I said it’s alright I can stand (because I don’t Want to squeeze with the Aunty beside and as a guy that I should give this seat to other commuter as it was a only less than 10 mins bus ride). She insisted I should sit and I refuse and she insisted 4 times till a lady took the seat.

She was angry and texted me let’s break up, why I don’t listen to her and always make her unhappy. I am just like her ex and she can feel it. I find it ridiculous because of this, she want to break up. I told her my point of view why but she think that purposely refuse to sit. Just want to make her unhappy. (She might be feeling I didn’t give her face when she ask me to sit like 4x)

We had a heated argument and she refuse to go home and don’t want to see me and it was quite late in the evening. (She staying at my place)
I apologise and try to coax her home as I don’t wish her to go out late at night alone. She say it’s her freedom to go anywhere she want and why should I listen to you since you don’t even listen to me.
I told her that I never force you anything and I try to compromise you but you many times choose not to listen to me.
She said I am an aloner and always do whatever I want and don’t listen to anybody. I was like wtf. Btw this kind of situation happen many times.

She left and I was sitting in the living room sofa, my parents overheard us and been asking what happen. She came back and want to take something and my mum ask her please talk it out and don’t stay out alone so late at night.
She blamed me for getting my parents involved as I didn’t do or say anything. Making her like a bad person.

I know many guys will say just break off with her etc but I know everyone has their issue and problem with some bad experience in the past. I have my issue too. I am here wonder any bro have similar situation before and you able to determine it’s a toxic relationship? and able to solve these problem?

I found this article
https://www.healthscopemag.com/healt...relationships/
Been reading through it and find many similar point to my situation.

Thanks for reading the long post and sorry for any bad grammar.

Just end the relationship.
This type of girl obviously the head got problem.
Its like a ticking time bomb.
1 day she really become haywire, in the middle of night chop of your dick while u sleeping, also possible.
Head got problem one, better dont touch. At most just pump & dump them quick, never hold on to it. They make your head haywire also. Its contagious one.

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by arsenal_84

never ever beg someone to stay.
even if the fault is your, say sorry and if she cannot accept is time to move on.

if sit meant to be, is meant to be.

I was the goody two shoes husband who don't even drink. Faithful like a saint. it drove me to commit suicide. The last one almost succeded.

[seekerJ]

Originally Posted by funboi

Wa so good she stay with you ah. Isn't that machiam married life liao?

Yes. We stay together so machiam like married life and you got the taste how is it. I don’t know is it recommended to stay together so you will know each other pattern then whether is it better to proceed or stop it?

[I Love Boobs]

Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin

I have been in your position before. I begged her to stay everytime. In the end we got married.

Then she started having affairs because she felt she made the wrong choice And she had sex with other men and justified it by saying I am CMI. We finally divorced several years later.

What did I lose...
1. 7 years of my life
2. Lost my job twice because of depression
3. Attempted suicide at least 2 times, the last one almost succeeded when I couldn't take it anymore.
4. >$60k in a divorce one lump sum. (Sum small because she was in an urgency to divorce)
5. Relationship with mother Broke down because of her. Regretted completely never had the chance to apologise to mother.
6. Met the right girl during my marriage but couldn't start a relationship with her. By the time i was divorced, she was already married.

If You think you can take these... it is up to you.

I had a wife who piled on the pounds after marriage.
Became scheming and domineering.
Played me against my parents.
Took my money.
She said I had unrealistic expectations for female bodies.
Surrounded herself with bitchy fatty friends.
She had affairs while I was busy working.
She quit her job and I was the sole breadwinner.
To be a housewife.
But brought her boss at work back to screw....
She was 165cm / 70kg.
Fat legs and butt but still damn small B cups at that size...
Divorced her... lost all my $$$ and the house... and the kids
But I'm at peace now..
You'll never know how toxic that relationship was until you leave it...
Mine was a nightmare.

[Steventan]

Originally Posted by I Love Boobs

I had a wife who piled on the pounds after marriage.
Became scheming and domineering.
Played me against my parents.
Took my money.
She said I had unrealistic expectations for female bodies.
Surrounded herself with bitchy fatty friends.
She had affairs to while I was busy working.
She quit her job and I was the sole breadwinner.
To be a housewife.
But brought her boss at work back to screw....
She was 165cm / 70kg.
Fat legs and butt but still damn small B cups at that size...
Divorced her... lost all my $$$ and the house... and the kids
But I'm at peace now..
You'll never know how toxic that relationship was until you leave it...
Mine was a nightmare.

Sorry to hear it. Do take care.

Finally managed to return your ups.

[thelittleprince]

seen many. never got involved because prevention is better than cure.

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by I Love Boobs

I had a wife who piled on the pounds after marriage.
Became scheming and domineering.
Played me against my parents.
Took my money.
She said I had unrealistic expectations for female bodies.
Surrounded herself with bitchy fatty friends.
She had affairs to while I was busy working.
She quit her job and I was the sole breadwinner.
To be a housewife.
But brought her boss at work back to screw....
She was 165cm / 70kg.
Fat legs and butt but still damn small B cups at that size...
Divorced her... lost all my $$$ and the house... and the kids
But I'm at peace now..
You'll never know how toxic that relationship was until you leave it...
Mine was a nightmare.

Sorry to hear about that. I hope you are ok now

[ChokDeeDee!]

This is a reply to the TS, what she is doing is emotional blackmail. Its a childish act and classic sign of a narcissist. Narcissistic people are toxic and its hard to change them, if not impossible. Stop wasting time and leave her. Think of it as intense short term pain that heals eventually. Staying together would be mild long term pain that ends with eventual demise of the relationship. Do Consider.

[Alekohholic]

TS, ask yourself this question. What do you like about her? Her character or is it just lust? Most times guys let lust rules over their head. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life living with her and the emotional blackmail constantly? Why would you want to do that? Find someone who appreciates you and love you for who you are. Thats the person worth waiting for and finally settled down with. With the current gf, u really better off spending ur money on FL or KTV gals. At least they dun show you black face and make you happy. Imaging u spend money on her and she is giving you shit. For what? Move on my friend and stay strong.

[HeLovesMe]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

Hi.. I’m here to share of my experience in current relationship.

I have a gf for last 1 year plus and we have been many ups and downs. (Probably more downs than ups) isn’t it usual to have up and down in relationship as no one is perfect and getting to know each other in each and every way of their personality and characters.

We been through multiple occasions that we should be broken up but in the end we still manage to stay together. Reason like religion, perspective views, different way of doing things, etc. Even till the smallest issue can cause a break up and we often in argument. She will always intital a break up if things doesn’t goes her way. I will always try to save and hold on to the relationship. I believe it’s worth fighting for because good things doesn’t come easy. But I never want her to use break up to threaten our relationship.

This day, we were in a bus and she had a seat along the side of the bus that can be share with 4 people side by side. There’s a empty seat beside her and asked me to sit. I said it’s alright I can stand (because I don’t Want to squeeze with the Aunty beside and as a guy that I should give this seat to other commuter as it was a only less than 10 mins bus ride). She insisted I should sit and I refuse and she insisted 4 times till a lady took the seat.

She was angry and texted me let’s break up, why I don’t listen to her and always make her unhappy. I am just like her ex and she can feel it. I find it ridiculous because of this, she want to break up. I told her my point of view why but she think that purposely refuse to sit. Just want to make her unhappy. (She might be feeling I didn’t give her face when she ask me to sit like 4x)

We had a heated argument and she refuse to go home and don’t want to see me and it was quite late in the evening. (She staying at my place)
I apologise and try to coax her home as I don’t wish her to go out late at night alone. She say it’s her freedom to go anywhere she want and why should I listen to you since you don’t even listen to me.
I told her that I never force you anything and I try to compromise you but you many times choose not to listen to me.
She said I am an aloner and always do whatever I want and don’t listen to anybody. I was like wtf. Btw this kind of situation happen many times.

She left and I was sitting in the living room sofa, my parents overheard us and been asking what happen. She came back and want to take something and my mum ask her please talk it out and don’t stay out alone so late at night.
She blamed me for getting my parents involved as I didn’t do or say anything. Making her like a bad person.

I know many guys will say just break off with her etc but I know everyone has their issue and problem with some bad experience in the past. I have my issue too. I am here wonder any bro have similar situation before and you able to determine it’s a toxic relationship? and able to solve these problem?

I found this article
https://www.healthscopemag.com/healt...relationships/
Been reading through it and find many similar point to my situation.

Thanks for reading the long post and sorry for any bad grammar.

Self entitled women with princess attitude like your girlfriend will make men and their kids suffer for sure.

[stonned]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

Yes. We stay together so machiam like married life and you got the taste how is it. I don’t know is it recommended to stay together so you will know each other pattern then whether is it better to proceed or stop it?

Bro, I'm glad you took the plunge to end this and move on. It would be sad for a while for sure dealing with the emotion but in the end, you will recover and be ready for someone else better.

I've been through a number of relationships and what I learned is that, a partner who is the right person for you would create an effortless (or nearly) relationship. I know some will defer and insist that you need to work hard, I'm sure they have their experience to back that up. But for me, I find that if a relationship requires so much energy for you to keep it going even before you married, it will only get worst, much worst, down the road. So are you ready to live with that?

I hope you do learn something about yourself out of this relationship. If you haven't, please take some time to really contemplate over it. Ask yourself what you could have done better or differently. This would help a lot in your next relationship.

[Stimsia]

To qualify, i am not married nor in a r/s
But there are many blissful marriages / r/s but as there other not so blissful ones. To me, it is hard for 2 strangers to come together not the least to live together. I find myself difficult to pacify/satisfy the whims of the female gender

For TS, the r/s is not worth hanging on, i believe there should be give and take, but to quarrel over a bus seat???

For the other bro who gotten to wear green hat should file for divorce on infidelity ground and in such case, i believe no need to pay for maintenance??

[Timoshadowstep]

Its a shit test. Women want alphas who can control them. She is testing you to see what you are made of. If you break up you pass the test. Most probably she will come back to you after break up.

[flcult]

Originally Posted by Timoshadowstep

Its a shit test. Women want alphas who can control them. She is testing you to see what you are made of. If you break up you pass the test. Most probably she will come back to you after break up.

Even if it's a test, you sure TS wants her back? It's like ATEC recon3 and you wanna do it all over again knowing the best result is recon2b??? Mai lah.... Just take it easy, get it over n done with.

[d0n0b]

Hey man, I think the answer is very simple and direct. Just let go and move on.

You may hv wasted the last few years of ur time but it is nothing compared to the time that u hv to spend with her till ur death after u hv married her. If ur LIFE partner does not understand what is give and take in life, u better be prepared to give in till ur death if u are gg to marry her. Believe me but u are gg to suffer and live in misery after u marry her. Dun even dream nor expect that she will change after u marry her unless u think u are as handsome as Andy Lau or Aaron Kwok + within the 100 richest man in SG. She has been raised specifically by her parents (by not correcting her) from young to behave in such a manner.

In investment terms, the risk is too high and the gain is too little. Be smart, cut the losses and better start to run now!