Divorced

[Ahxi]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

They'll both die of boredom and the baby will end up an orphan at a young age.

It is called learning to live with each other. There are plenty of nature to go around in new zealand and a lot of time for them to talk out their issues and come to a compromise on many things. Of course the key is that TS has to attend an anger management class first.

If it is a place like fiji island, 2 weeks should be enough.

If they still can't learn to compromise after such a trip where they are pasted to each other for 24 hrs a day, then I feel they are not meant to be together.

[Ahxi]

Originally Posted by KaniNababe

She has postnatal blue?
I think u two need professional help. Better go seek counselling . How can bo dai bo ji suka suka say divorce so irresponsible deg

I think it is the part where he "laid" his hands on her before pregnancy, promised not do so again but "pushed" her when he was angry.

Forgive me for saying this but TS do need to go for anger management class...

I know some females that do not care about the situation and just want to win or vent by making stupid comments at the most incendiary moments. If TS love such a woman, TS can slowly get her to tone down but mostly, TS just have to learn to live with it.

[Brainstorm]

Both of you are very young right? Let me guess. Bf-gf 6 months, then shotgun, then got to get married, then spend the next 10 months preparing for baby, then the last 6 months raising a kid. You have a very eventful past 2 years.

Once you get married, there is no more he or she. There is only we. She might have post-natal depression. It's not easy to cope with a screaming baby who cannot tell you what she wants. Be more understanding lah. Everyone knows divorce is a serious thing. Saying divorce might just be a way to get your attention during a quarrel. Which woman want to be divorced with a small kid? Not easy in our society for divorced lady with child to move on. Some more to raise a kid on a monthly income of $1.5K.

Lay your hand on her means what? You beat her up in the past? No matter what happens, a real man never beats a woman. Some more she is your wife and the mother of your child. This has to change.

The good thing is both of you got to go through separation before the divorced is finalized. Got time to cool down. The other good thing is you say you want to save the marriage. Since the daughter is with you now, why not take a few cute photos of the daughter and send it to her? Tell her your daughter misses her. More importantly, tell her you miss her even more. Let her know you want her back not because the daughter needs a mother but because you love her.

If still cannot work, try a middle path. Ask her to come back for the weekend. You will sleep in a separate room so that she can spend time with the baby. Then whenever you can, you try to win her back by showering her with concern. If she says hurtful things, just let her say lah. Why your ego so big? Talking won't die one.

Be fair to your daughter. She didn't choose to be born. She obviously didn't choose such immature parents. Why let her grow up in a single parent family? It's time you be a husband and a father.

[DesEMmond]

Originally Posted by Golden question

Do u know there is such thing call free legal advise by lawyers?Is 20 minute free advise,u can ask them but they will not represent u for divorce procedure.

They volunteer their time only.

Under woman charter,your wife is entitle for part of your property if is been sold and under your name.

My question is why u have to beg her and do u want care and control of you baby?

Bcos i still love her and i want her and baby of course

[DesEMmond]

Thanks for everyone advise , yup i did beat her up due to quarrel it was before marriage , after that i didnt do that anymore , i shld take up anger management for sure , i just hope she can be back.

[Brainstorm]

Originally Posted by DesEMmond

after that i didnt do that anymore , i shld take up anger management for sure , i just hope she can be back.

You say one ah.. Only you can make any changes permanently successful. I really hope to hear good news from you. Now is not the time to think about division of matrimonial assets or child maintenance or alimony. Not that stage yet. Now is the time to go win her back!!

[DesEMmond]

Originally Posted by Brainstorm

You say one ah.. Only you can make any changes permanently successful. I really hope to hear good news from you. Now is not the time to think about division of matrimonial assets or child maintenance or alimony. Not that stage yet. Now is the time to go win her back!!

How to win her back , haiis

[Ahxi]

Originally Posted by DesEMmond

How to win her back , haiis

Originally Posted by Ahxi

Women rather listen to others than someone she does not trust anymore.

Steps

Butter up her family.

Go for anger management class.

Find a common mediator(s).

Then go for counseling. As a couple and individually for each of you.

Have a 3 weeks holiday in some remote place with no shopping (like new Zealand). No babies.

Live with the fact that every time there is a fight, she will use divorce to get the upper hand.

As above. Take anger management class. Ask her frds and family for help. Show them that you are remorseful by taking the anger management class. Bribe them with small gifts, especially her sisters and your mother in law. If necessary, tell them your plan and vision for your family.

Send her flowers everyday for 6 days, then stop. She will wonder what happened. Pretend to be ill or suffering from gastric due to stress, overworking and missing her.

[Greendevil]

TS, while it is encouraging to see that you are trying to savalge your marriage, i think there no need to say more of what you should do esp so many samster have given their 2 cents worth. So I going play the devil now.

First you must know, Singapore has Woman Act, dont have Man Act and second, marriage take two hand to clap, but divorce can be done by one. Separation can be one of the tools use to divorce. It just a matter of time.

So while you are trying to reunite with your wife, do prepare your bullets if things turn for a worst. I will tried to keep this short and break down these into few key points:

1. Maintenance - Basically there is maintenance for the mum and baby in your case.

a. Baby - Depending on the arrangement for the baby that the mum made(assuming she has custody), her income and cost to support the baby, you will have to contribute and from her income 1.5K, it mean you have to contribute majority of the cost. And assuming she has no other means but to take care the baby herself, the cost will of cos goes up substaintionally. Of cos, it will have to take into consideration of your income and if proven beyond reasonable doubts that the maintenance demand is beyond yr capability, than the judge will have to advice the mum to have realistic expectation and demand. In short, EARTH TO MOON, PLEASE ASK MUM COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH.
b. Mum - subjected to arrangement made to (a), years of marriage, contribution (sacrifice) to marriage, emotional damage if any, living lifestyle, her income and assets. I will recommend you to do a one time settlement if there will to be any than a monthly fees given your marriage is short and if you can prove that the marriage is partly contribute of shotgun, then you may have a better chance in a one time settlement. And why i encourage one time settlement? Even she demand $1 monthly maintenance, you be surprise it can hang your balls one day under woman act. With $1 monthly, If she loss her ability to generate income due to valid reason e.g. car accident, then the woman act kick in, whereby she can write in to court to demand you to support/maintain her for the period she is unable to generate income. and if it is a perm disability, that will also mean perm support. So indirectly you are her 'AIA' life insurance. It better you buy her insurance in this case. so under the divorce agreement, it has to be made clear the maintenance you are paying goes to where and dissolve your responsibility to her thru one time settlement

2. Asset - she has right to take a split in the unit you both stay in, unless you are staying under your parent's roof, than LL for her. Even the house may not be registered under her name, she can has a claim on it. Of course it will not be great. Best is to collect document to prove beyond doubts that this unit is not pay by you or there is x% pay by your parent, than this will help to lesser the damage. Also, if you have any other property under your name, than the judge will have to review if this is acquire/earn during your marriage and /or during the course of marriage. and of cos, she may be able to have a cut in it. Company will depend on what the company is register as and also shareholder, if it is listed and etc. similar principle apply on the company. In short, if the woman stay home to take care of the family/home or she is working but take care of the children to allow you to focus on your carreer, than she take a cut in it for the sacrifice she made. IF no children and she is working, than different equation applied.

So work for the best but always prepare for the worst.

[alvin83]

Bro

Correct me is i am wrong:

Since this is a dispute. The victim can approach the family court to apply Personnel Protection Order against the other party. Both of you will be giving Counseling to help improve the situation.

Need not apply for divorce since you have a 6-month old baby.

Regards

[DesEMmond]

Thanks bro for being devil and ur advice , base on what u see, chances of losing?

[nickahben]

Originally Posted by DesEMmond

Thanks bro for being devil and ur advice , base on what u see, chances of losing?

On losing wat? Your money? Your custody to your child?

[Summerhillt]

Bro. think twice la.. divorce is bad for your kid..

[adonis]

Your wife will not have much claim on your house becos she n u were married for such a short time.

[Blurri]

Bro, firat do remember that you have not been marries for 3yrs so you cannot get divorced immediately so pls do not focus on the divorce itself esp sinve you have mentioned many times tat u r trying to work things out.

Firstly as a man when a mistake is done, drop ur ego n realised ur mistake.... U can only prove to her u are sorry thru ur actions.

Reading wat u have posted i can say tat ur wife is having poatnatal blues... Not something to take lightly.. Get a fren to speak to her. Give her some space... Taking care of baby, working and still getting scolded by you is no joke.... She may b feeling tat no one cares for her as all attention is on baby....

For yourself, if u say u wan ur family aak urself wat can u do to help.... Screaming at ur wife will not help make tings better....

Just an advised fr someone who sees babies n mommies daily.