sentimental bonking? or lifetime commitment?

[LovePotion]

Originally Posted by joew2005

hello muscleboi,don't agree with u.

even if u r not married,
> it doesn't mean u will not need 2 bother abt housing loans. if 1 hv slight diginity/pride, 1 shld not rely on yr parents or siblings on providing housing 4 u.
> u still hv other expenses tat can drain off yr $ like bringing up a child over the long run.

even if u r married,
> u shld never think & treat yr other half as a sex partner.
If u need a perm sex partner,go look 4 a fb or stick 2 the sma wl/fl.
1 way or the other, it would still cost u $.

Thats right..

[muscleboi]

Originally Posted by joew2005

hello muscleboi,don't agree with u.

even if u r not married,
> it doesn't mean u will not need 2 bother abt housing loans. if 1 hv slight diginity/pride, 1 shld not rely on yr parents or siblings on providing housing 4 u.
> u still hv other expenses tat can drain off yr $ like bringing up a child over the long run.

even if u r married,
> u shld never think & treat yr other half as a sex partner.
If u need a perm sex partner,go look 4 a fb or stick 2 the sma wl/fl.
1 way or the other, it would still cost u $.

bro, I have to agree with you on the housing part. married or not, we need to pay for the place we live. no doubt about that. but paying for housing yourself is better than to get married and risk losing half of what you have if you were to divorce. to add, husband and wife seldom pay 50/50 for hdb loans. the husband ends up paying more and it's expected of us to pay more.

but I can't agree with you on the sex partner part. do you think all wives will be willing to let you find FBs? if not, that's considered cheating if you do it without their consent. so if you can't find FB without cheating and you shouldn't treat your wife as a sex partner, how do you find sexual relief?

I must add that treating your wife as your sex partner is just a part of the marriage role that she should play besides being a daughter in law and a mother. in that case, you are each other's sex partner.

however some modern day wives, at some point of time in marriage, don't allow their husbands to touch them AND also don't allow them to touch other women(this applies the whole time). it's as good as proclaiming your status as a monk if that happens. that's a con of getting married. that's also partly why divorce rate is increasing nowadays.

[Stud00]

My take:

If you cant find a good mate, its always better to remain single, rather then rush into it and regret later... IF you haven't noticed, the women's charter in SG is not to our favor. And if you find the right one, treasure her, love her, pamper her.

Just my two cents worth.

[trash55]

In my most ideal world, I think if you are be able to find a woman who have the following qualities

1) who don't mind the fact that you do not want to be married/tied down.
2) who loves sex as much as you do
3) who is willing to bear you children without you being committed to marriage.

Of course you must be responsible for her, and the children lives. You must have the financial capabilities to support her(ie pay for the house, household, car, etc). In this situation you can still have a family and have sex all the time, without being married.

If things turn sour, you don't have split your assets with her, and won't turn too messy. Afterall you have been single all these while.

[trex99]

Originally Posted by muscleboi

1) hdb loan - risk of getting heavily in debt and if you are out of job, there's almost no chance you can clear the debts

2) child expenses - if you calculate the total cost up till you send your child to college, the expenses are enormous. we will not know how much will that be in future but it will definitely be higher than the current cost because of inflation...

Very true.

I was so heavily in debt, Hdb loan + car loan, totally no saving at all. Until those loans were finally cleared. Now I am just a cash poor, asset rich fellow.

"Child expenses" is like a credit card with no limit on withdrawal and forever in debt. However, this great burden is lighten temporary when the child say "Daddy, I will you".

[Tomb]

i kinda of expect the TS to be hurt badly by his gf/ex gf in order to feel this way?

I guess it all depends on the type of person u meet.
Some gals are worth spending ur time and even your monetary.

Some gals are just proud, nasty, petty, irritating, basically sluts

You probably haven't meet one that is worthwhile to tie u down yet..

[EatPrayLove]

Originally Posted by muscleboi

here's a lady who want a family and doesn't want her husband to cheat.

sis, if you don't want your husband to cheat, try giving him new surprises on bed every now and then. it takes two hands to clap. I hope your hubby reciprocates.

based on childless marriages, females will get a lot more advantages getting married.

Sweetie,
am still single. maybe the way i phrase my words is misleading?
base on my experiences, even though with me giving my bf lots of freedom, even when our sex live was fantastic, eventually he stray and that was the reason of our break up. i am ok with him having harmless flirt with female... once or twice i can turn a blind eye... but continuously having affairs behind my back, that's something i can never accept. to me, it's an insult, humiliation that i can't satisfied my man.

so may i asked, if it takes 2 hands to clap, why does men still stray even when their gf or wife are willing to give them the sex their need?

[sgjoey]

Originally Posted by EatPrayLove

Sweetie,
am still single. maybe the way i phrase my words is misleading?
base on my experiences, even though with me giving my bf lots of freedom, even when our sex live was fantastic, eventually he stray and that was the reason of our break up. i am ok with him having harmless flirt with female... once or twice i can turn a blind eye... but continuously having affairs behind my back, that's something i can never accept. to me, it's an insult, humiliation that i can't satisfied my man.

so may i asked, if it takes 2 hands to clap, why does men still stray even when their gf or wife are willing to give them the sex their need?

The answer is pretty obvious actually. Humans tend to be non-monogamous, just like our evolutionary cousins, the chimps and the bonobos.

Some humans can keep to monogamy, but over the long term, it is very hard, especially when the opportunity to have multiple partners readily present themselves.

[typhonic]

Getting married is a natural progression in life.

[callmebad]

actually looking at so many problems happening in current days marriages, I think it will only be crazy people who are getting married, just like you're nuts for entering the politics as an opposition member

such thing like marriage is very hard to look at it at a very rational point of view, if you try to be very logical,or thinking too much, actually in our fast-paced Internet age, marriage is getting less and less attractive

that's why I said you really have to be very very crazy in order to get married, because it is an uncertain life journey down there

both sides are gambling that they are meeting their Mr. Right and Miss Right.

I had unhappy past relationship, partly due to my fault. Alone now, but don't feel lonely, life is very occupied and packed till until over past midnight - not clubbing or chonking.

many guys just don't understand, they thought that I have no woman, I must be very free

fact is, I don't build my life around any woman, I manage to build my life without women

I suppose the only woman that will only make me sad when she is no longer there will be my mum

I'm old outside, but a child at heart

as for the sex part, my life is so stressful, that my little brother has been going for 'super long holiday'

really getting rusty

will it happen that after prolonged 'holiday' , one day the little brother will just shrink, wilt away and just fall off and all of you guys here will have to call me Big Sister or 'Aunty Lucy'

will see

[muscleboi]

Originally Posted by Tomb

i kinda of expect the TS to be hurt badly by his gf/ex gf in order to feel this way?

I guess it all depends on the type of person u meet.
Some gals are worth spending ur time and even your monetary.

Some gals are just proud, nasty, petty, irritating, basically sluts

You probably haven't meet one that is worthwhile to tie u down yet..

My first ex two-timed me aka cheating. my second ex told me she don't love me anymore after 2years plus..well, the second one is not so bad. at least she didn't cheat on me. Having the first one was a really bad experience.

actually the reason I feel this way is purely through calculations. Not that I'm calculative lol..just curious why people are always heavily in debt so I researched on the causes and those are some of my findings.

To be honest, I dislike cheating so that's why I don't recommend FLs/ONS/FBs after people get married.

If we want to play, we should play when we're single. If we plan to get attached, we should leave the playing field. How can you bear to see someone remaining faithful to you while you go out cheating? It's sad just thinking about it.

BUT if Bro's wife is not feeding bro well, divorce should be the proper way out. Too bad Women's Charter is not on our side. That's why staying single is a better option, financially. but if your gf is rich then hurry up and marry her!! (provided she give you the money hahah)

as for tying me down? ya, I haven't found one capable of doing that yet. hahah

[muscleboi]

Originally Posted by EatPrayLove

Sweetie,
am still single. maybe the way i phrase my words is misleading?
base on my experiences, even though with me giving my bf lots of freedom, even when our sex live was fantastic, eventually he stray and that was the reason of our break up. i am ok with him having harmless flirt with female... once or twice i can turn a blind eye... but continuously having affairs behind my back, that's something i can never accept. to me, it's an insult, humiliation that i can't satisfied my man.

so may i asked, if it takes 2 hands to clap, why does men still stray even when their gf or wife are willing to give them the sex their need?

Smoochie, I feel for you. I had that similar bad experience. Because of that bad experience, I don't feel good cheating cos I know how it feels to be cheated.

There are many reasons why men stray but in my opinion it only boils down to two main reasons; (1) men desire variety, (2) men can't get enough from their wife/gf (maybe they refuse to try some sex stuffs or simply refuse sex altogether)

if you have the chance to stray and that guy is a rich man(richer than your bf/hubby) with all that you can ever ask for, and most importantly he's very interested in you, will your heart not be moved?

if you are my gf, I will be glad if you can just tell me you lost interest in me and decide to go with the richer guy (at this point, you are mentally cheating already..), I will just let you go. I won't do that if it's me. Cos I believe what comes around goes around. Just look at the news nowadays, women with equal earning capabilities think that if men can cheat, why can't they? And the best/worse thing is, they still get maintenance allowance from their divorced husbands even if they are the ones cheating.

[EatPrayLove]

Originally Posted by muscleboi

Smoochie, I feel for you. I had that similar bad experience. Because of that bad experience, I don't feel good cheating cos I know how it feels to be cheated.

There are many reasons why men stray but in my opinion it only boils down to two main reasons; (1) men desire variety, (2) men can't get enough from their wife/gf (maybe they refuse to try some sex stuffs or simply refuse sex altogether)

if you have the chance to stray and that guy is a rich man(richer than your bf/hubby) with all that you can ever ask for, and most importantly he's very interested in you, will your heart not be moved?

if you are my gf, I will be glad if you can just tell me you lost interest in me and decide to go with the richer guy (at this point, you are mentally cheating already..), I will just let you go. I won't do that if it's me. Cos I believe what comes around goes around. Just look at the news nowadays, women with equal earning capabilities think that if men can cheat, why can't they? And the best/worse thing is, they still get maintenance allowance from their divorced husbands even if they are the ones cheating.

firstly, when a guy wants to stray, they need no reason. there's only one reason, small head over big head.

secondly, the only reason i will ever stray is because my guy is sleeping behind me or his inability to satisfy my sexual needs regardless of the other guy is in a better league than him or not.

thirdly, after being through my past relationship, i realise one thing; honesty is the best policy. only being honest with each other, will you be able to gain trust and respect from your other half. whereas on your comment on the maintenance allowance part; woman always have a upper hand when comes to divorce. if husband don't cheat, will they cheat? there's a saying: "what goes around, comes around." in short, karma. i think that if husband didn't give wife a reason to cheat, will they do it? i doubt so.

above is just my 2 cents worth as a female. don't flame me!

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[joncheong]

For me i don't think i will get married... There are good girls or ladies around but too few... Perhaps that's the fallacy of our society... As education levels rise, the demand of women rises as well.., have dated many girls before and it's no longer giving them a sense of security and making them happy with humor and of cos sex... They want guys to interact with them on a higher level to satisfy them intellectually.. Not that i am a silly or stupid guy but it just get tedious to constantly intellectually stimulate them... Such girls are definitely not the kind of girls i am after... Others are too materialistic.. Marry when happily together but you just don't know when they will turn the tide.. When they get sick of you all they need to do is refuse sex with you... You as a guy will go find a fb/mistress/ fls and the moment they find out its game over.,, you have to pay her ailimony for the rest of her life and she get half of the assets.. Saw too many such cases...can always find fl.., wl.. Fb as long as you are financially well.., marry is a hell no for me , definitely not in singapore