The most rejected person around

[NoNameNoNothing]

TS,

First of all, do not be negative. You must love yourself before you can love someone else and before someone can love you.

Second, have a good look at yourself and see where or what is wrong. Perhaps you have BO, or bad breath, or you just cannot understand a joke someone makes or cannot hold on to a conversation. All these are not negatives. All these are changeable.

No one owes you anything and make sure you owe no one anything. And that is a start.

[thaivisitor]

Bro TS,

I don't think that you're that bad since Sam the boss did not reject you from this forum. LOL!

Anyway, I think you're feeling a little self concious. Everyone has limited number of so-called real friends. Moreover, these friends will also change thru time.

For example, your primary school friends, then change to secondary school friends, then goes to your army buddies and then work collegues, then cheong kakis, etc. They'll keep changing. It's a fact of life.

As for people talking to you because they want or expect something from you, what's wrong with that? Do you expect them to come talk to you for no reasons whatsoever? Do you go to your collegues or other frineds or call them up to talk to them with no reasons whatsoever?

Face reality. But if you feel you like to have crowds round you, admiring you, making you THE man, then go to a pub or disco, buy everyone drinks, sure the crowd will be round you. But is that what you want?

Cheers
Tee Vee

[Peggie83]

Bro TS,

You need not feel so sad, I believe many samsters have went through what you are feeling now. Like what Boss Sam said this is very normal

[dominic7]

Originally Posted by SadLoser

But no, my closer friends are always telling me that there’s nothing wrong with me --- I’m good looking, have a decent job, kind and easy-going person etc. In fact, most friends tend to assume that someone like me should be quite popular in general and have a good social life.

#2 - these friends are lying to you. get some real friends.

[s-jeruselum]

TS, don't kick yourself over it. Just leave things be. It really doesn't help that girls in singapore tend to value looks and thickness of wallet over character. Just give it time. You may find someone who was looking for you instead of you looking for her instead.

[NewandLost]

Braddah, I don't see what you are all upset about. Life in the big city SG.Out of 10 people you know, maybe 2 are real friends then you should feel great. But the bottom line is people come to you if you feel use for you, bet it material, emotional, or sexual. A real friend is someone who is close to you as someone in your family, like a brother or sister or parent like that. The rest normally acquanticieces of different degrees.

[DuaKaTsua]

Wat is frenship? Simi si Peng Yew? Simi si BROTHER? Sum peopl donch noe but call everyone brother tis dat. Wayang only found in whorsehouse ? No leh. They say they are ur fren oso treat u lik dat meh? Oso wayang wad !?

Bludder TS, i Noe wat u toking abt. I jus kana bad one fm a so call PENG YEW. KNN last time got use hang out cheong Thai Disco each time need me 2 to toh tiap his whisky bill surely call me out but now got richer better " Fren" he whr got even say hello whn he c me? Go smell fart oso can not he act like.

But recently need something fm me call me up n kehkeh dis tat , KNN in d end oso abt sumting a favour he need from me but I gong gong help him do den after dat tink nabeh he nebber even say TERIMA KASIH whn i finish hor. Y his skin so thick I oso donno la. But y I so stoopid still treat him lik fren? How cum like dat?

Bludder ah , ur case u tink special oso not la. U want 2 complain day in day out or move on ???? In life hor u will meet many many people 99% of those will not affect ur life. Y u care & tsap abt wat tis kind of people tink n say? U don mean anyting 2 dem but they oso not mean anytg 2 u wo !

Ur REAL fren n peng yew n BROTHER will treat u sama sama back n wont screw u behind ur back or leave u b whn u no use 2 dem. Real fren will try stop u whn u abt 2 fall in2 kway KC trap n bcum bankrup evn tho they noe u dont want 2 hear they all nag.

That wat real frens r for. Hard 2 find but if u find u keep n if u find they will keep u anyway oso. Hope u lucky wif peng yew n tsa bor peng yew soon soon fast fast hor! cheer

[alphonse]

I read your story,

then looked at the thread title again.

look at your nick again.

I want to share with you something a friend mentioned. "What is love?" It's based on perspective and cannot be defined BUT the best benchmark for a person on Love is how they love themselves. How you can love yourself can give an insight on how you can love others.

You dun seem to think very highly of yourself and have little self worth. That will be also how you tend to treat others, unconsciously.

Also I want to mention. True friends are those who like you for who you are, not what you can do or how successful you are, you don't NEED many true friends, there's always kopi kaki, cheong kakis and even acquaintances. These true friends like you for who you ARE. To start finding what you are looking for, start to be yourself (I can see that you are slowly gaining awareness or your emotions).

It's normal to want to be special, its okay to feel confused. Stop looking outside for an answer, the answer is within you.

Have faith, the day you be yourself....you can truly smile from deep within your heart.

I'm an atheist but I find strength in this poem.

The Final Analysis

[SadLoser]

Originally Posted by Liquid@cid

if you are feeling lousy just becos you are not having enough attention from the ppl ard you, den you are not as easy-going as your friends mention, IMO your easy-going maybe just your pretendious side, as you are very concern about what ppl ard you tot about you as a person....

Maybe you are right bro. Beneath my easy-going exterior, i do care about how people think of me.
But who wouldn't want to be respected and cared for by the people around him?

I've never wanted to be the centre of attention, and neither do i really cared about how popular i'm with people. I am contended to be the average guy in the crowd, with just a few good true friends who could share my happiness and sorrows with.
The problem now is, for some unknown reasons, I've slowly become some kind of loser whom people seemed to naturally take for granted and treat like trash.

Like I have tis this female colleague - everytime she talk to me, it's surely to ask me do something for her. Example fetch her along the way whenever we are going to any of our department outings, or lend her my newly bought dvd movies etc.
Whilst I don't mind helping her, i was quite disappointed by how cold and indifferent she can be towards me. There was once when i was feeling unwell and left our party early... the only msg i received from her was whether I would still be sending her home? She was absolutely not concerned about what happened to me, whether i was dead or alive...

Now, i know it would be easy to dismiss her as another one of those materialistic, selfish gals etc. But i have actually observed that she is not always this cold and indifferent to everyone; there are some friends she seems genuinely concerned about. It's probably only towards me she is so cold and indifferent

I don't know where did i go wrong, but it has become a recurring pattern in my life --- people are just exceptionally cold and unhelpful towards me.

[dominic7]

screw some whores and get over it.
stop wasting time on asking why.
many people are much more unfortunate than u.

[教父The GodFather]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Bro TS,

I don't think that you're that bad since Sam the boss did not reject you from this forum. LOL!

Anyway, I think you're feeling a little self concious. Everyone has limited number of so-called real friends. Moreover, these friends will also change thru time.

For example, your primary school friends, then change to secondary school friends, then goes to your army buddies and then work collegues, then cheong kakis, etc. They'll keep changing. It's a fact of life.

As for people talking to you because they want or expect something from you, what's wrong with that? Do you expect them to come talk to you for no reasons whatsoever? Do you go to your collegues or other frineds or call them up to talk to them with no reasons whatsoever?

Face reality. But if you feel you like to have crowds round you, admiring you, making you THE man, then go to a pub or disco, buy everyone drinks, sure the crowd will be round you. But is that what you want?

Cheers
Tee Vee

Agreed your post brudder Thai, ..............................

If TS cannot get out of this COCOON and keep having self-centre life .... then pls go up to the mountain.

You related that you are this and that ... yet could not handle your own Emotion's and need to let your steam here to be pin-pointed, GO and GET A REAL LIFE Kiddo ..... do we need to teach you how to suck the balls.

A waste of my time.
教父The Godfather.

[SadLoser]

Btw thank you to all bros here for sharing advice and feedbacks... It's really valuable thoughts for me to reflect since i can't share this problem with people i know in my life

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by SadLoser

I don't know where did i go wrong, but it has become a recurring pattern in my life --- people are just exceptionally cold and unhelpful towards me.

if you lived in the US, you could shoot all those damned bastards in one fell swoop!

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by SadLoser

Beneath my easy-going exterior, i do care about how people think of me.....But who wouldn't want to be respected and cared for by the people around him?.....Like I have tis this female colleague.....But i have actually observed that she is not always this cold and indifferent to everyone; there are some friends she seems genuinely concerned about. It's probably only towards me she is so cold and indifferent.....I don't know where did i go wrong, but it has become a recurring pattern in my life --- people are just exceptionally cold and unhelpful towards me.

Hi Brother SadLoser,

To be disappointed in someone implies that a level of expectation was not met. What we expect of people can often at times be way off base, simply because our expectation of the person was set too high and our perception makes up our reality. The trouble begins when our expectation is not matched by the expected result. The problem does not lie with the person you were disappointed with. It is your problem because you built an unrealistic version of that person and it is you who should change your perception, and thus the expectation. The other person that you were disappointed with probably had his or her own expectation of you too. He or she may be disappointed or pleased. Again, it would be his or her problem if they were off base in their assessment, not you.

We must keep our expectations within reasonable bounds with realistic guidelines, otherwise, we would be disappointed easily. Don't pretend to have a concept of a person, and feel smitten when you know in all likelihood it won't turn out that way. Your friends and colleagues’ perception, and thus judgement, may have different variables. Be certain that you and them are in accord. Even that may sometimes prove futile because people are so different. Remember the Chinese wisdom of 一种米养百种人.

The best approach is to interact without any prospects, anticipation and non-judgemental. If you meet someone without any preconceived notions, the chances are, you will get to know the person without any tainted or unrealistic views. If you built up a scenario of a person, keep it low and keep it in check. That way you won't be disappointed. Ordinary result as a consequence of being expected must be not surprising.

If all this sounds like common sense, remember this: Common sense is not so common. Cheers. Have a good week ahead.

[fedomme]

Bror SadLoser, as long as you are not rejecting yourself, no one can reject you.