Matters of the Heart.Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.
As a couple of other bros have said, KTV girls are human too. They yearn for love, just like other normal girls but they are above all very realistic about what they need to do at work, and their mummies will tell them to always separate work from personal life.
Having been in a steady relationship with an ex-KTV girl for the last 5 years, I can say that coming to a place like Singapore to work and earn money is a rite of passage for many girls who are all in need of money. True, they don't come here specifically looking for love, but many want it - and if the right person presents himself, they will give the relationship a shot. Yes, there are many ex-KTV girls that I know who decide to "try out" working in a KTV on their social visit pass, purely to sit and play cards, without humsup - they quickly find out that they are not cut out for the work, and so they quit and never return.
For you and your viet "gf" - you need to ask yourself a tough question. Given that you are already married and I assume your girl isn't, what sort of future do you foresee for you and her?
More seriously, do you really understand her motivations for coming back? How much money does she really hope to make, and what does she want to do after that? If she doesn't share the answers to these questions with you, she is not your gf.
I have a close bro who is married and now maintaining his (unmarried) ex-KTV girl in Vietnam. She lives a normal life, runs a small business and is perfectly happy with her life and her current existence. He considers himself lucky to have met her, and I think they are both fated to meet each other and be together, even it if is only for a few days per month.
I have a similar arrangement, though I am no longer married so for me it is a lot easier to just fly over to see my gf whenever I want. My ex-KTV girl gf was an ang pai at Lido, so her earning power was substantial, yet she chose to quit nightlife on her own accord and to move back to Vietnam. Throughout my relationship with her, I have also abstained from sex with other women and she knows it (and appreciates it).
So there's my final tip for you - for KTV girls, short-term relationships that don't last are the norm. How are you different from her many customers? If you can answer that question, you have a chance of having a serious relationship with the girl. If you don't, and are just looking to reserve her for yourself without regard for her needs, then I think you know what the outcome will be.
All the best
Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.
She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)
Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆
I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.
Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.
She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)
Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆
I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.
Most want to marry a Singaporean so that they can apply for long-term pass to stay and work in Singapore.
After 6 months WP, they need to wait for a year before they apply for WP again. Coming to Singapore monthly on a social visit is not a long-term solution as Singapore immigration will ask questions and might deny entry.
I guess she can choose to work in KTV but don't go out with customers. Still can earn quite a bit.
Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.
She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)
Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆
I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.
Many women use marriage to get other benefits. Might think twice before leaving the real wife for ktv ladies. Peace out ✌️
Many women use marriage to get other benefits. Might think twice before leaving the real wife for ktv ladies. Peace out ✌️
Understand bro. I also don’t think I will leave my current wife of 12 years. But now my heart has feelings for 2 girls, and this is the first time I had fall in love with another girl other than my wife. I had been chionging for many years and understand the danger of being KC by KTV girls, but I can say that she is different from the typical ktv girls. After getting to know her for past 1 year, knowing her family and friends and seeing how she treats her them, I can see she is a genuine person.
I don’t know how our future will leads to, but she tell me as long I don’t give up, she will also not give up. I have told her to find another guy who can marry her and give her a future, but she say it is not easy to love someone else once she already love someone. I also don’t know what she thinking as i can’t marry her also or give her money.
I am also quite touched by her effort to fly over once a month to spend time with me, knowing it is difficult for me to fly over due to my family.
Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.
She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)
Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆
I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.
Your gf already told you, that she is in Singapore hoping for a relationship with a view to marriage.
Do you understand what this really means? I may be over-thinking here, but having been involved with a few Viet girls and knowing some basic Viet (and thankful to have a great Viet tuition teacher!), let me probably share some cultural lessons which I learnt the hard way. I wish I knew some of these things earlier on in my relationship(s), which would have saved me much heartache.
If your gf thinks in Viet, but speaks in English (the huge majority of them do), the choice of words carry a lot of meaning. Viet is a high-context language, vs English which is a low-context language. English speakers seldom need to infer "hidden" meanings behind the words used because the explicit meaning is contained in the word choice. Viets communicate differently, their language has a much smaller vocabulary so they communicate the nuances in meaning through context, and not through word choice. Viets are very comfortable using words with a high level of ambiguity, expecting the recipient to consider the context and infer the "true meaning" of what they really want to say. If you ever see two Viets chat with each other, it is like watching people speak a variant of Hanyu Pinyin - very very short words, but full of meaning and context. This key difference in communication method, is one of the main sources of misunderstandings between Viet/SG couples.
To put it bluntly - your gf is telling you that she wants a husband. Women who have that wish, usually never give up on that hope. They want a husband, kids, a normal family. Meaning, she will always be on the lookout for suitable guy(s), and from time to time when someone suitable walks into her life, she will go for several "test drives" and you will find yourself having a "gf" who is fucking someone else.
If you are holding on to this relationship in the slim hope that she will accept the "compromise" which is you - then you must emotionally accept the fact that one day she will leave. Unless you are willing to have a kid with her, and support her financially (which you already indicated, that you can't).
Sorry to be so pessimistic, but these are inconvenient truths and it is better to highlight and face the reality - better the ugly truth than the beautiful lie
Your gf already told you, that she is in Singapore hoping for a relationship with a view to marriage.
Do you understand what this really means? I may be over-thinking here, but having been involved with a few Viet girls and knowing some basic Viet (and thankful to have a great Viet tuition teacher!), let me probably share some cultural lessons which I learnt the hard way. I wish I knew some of these things earlier on in my relationship(s), which would have saved me much heartache.
If your gf thinks in Viet, but speaks in English (the huge majority of them do), the choice of words carry a lot of meaning. Viet is a high-context language, vs English which is a low-context language. English speakers seldom need to infer "hidden" meanings behind the words used because the explicit meaning is contained in the word choice. Viets communicate differently, their language has a much smaller vocabulary so they communicate the nuances in meaning through context, and not through word choice. Viets are very comfortable using words with a high level of ambiguity, expecting the recipient to consider the context and infer the "true meaning" of what they really want to say. If you ever see two Viets chat with each other, it is like watching people speak a variant of Hanyu Pinyin - very very short words, but full of meaning and context. This key difference in communication method, is one of the main sources of misunderstandings between Viet/SG couples.
To put it bluntly - your gf is telling you that she wants a husband. Women who have that wish, usually never give up on that hope. They want a husband, kids, a normal family. Meaning, she will always be on the lookout for suitable guy(s), and from time to time when someone suitable walks into her life, she will go for several "test drives" and you will find yourself having a "gf" who is fucking someone else.
If you are holding on to this relationship in the slim hope that she will accept the "compromise" which is you - then you must emotionally accept the fact that one day she will leave. Unless you are willing to have a kid with her, and support her financially (which you already indicated, that you can't).
Sorry to be so pessimistic, but these are inconvenient truths and it is better to highlight and face the reality - better the ugly truth than the beautiful lie
All the best
Understood bro. I have also tell her to look out for potential guy who is single and can marry her, because I think she is still hoping that there will br changes to my marital situation with my wife.
Right now, I just enjoying her companionship whenever she is here. One day if she ever find someone new, I will wish her the best.
I got a few Viet ktv girls ask me for marriage before. but that's only because they want to continue working here. for them money is the most important. don't ever believe they would love you more than they love money.
I got a few Viet ktv girls ask me for marriage before. but that's only because they want to continue working here. for them money is the most important. don't ever believe they would love you more than they love money.
True bro. But when we put ourselves in their shoes, it is easy to understand why they prioritise money so important. They come from a 3rd world country with little education, working in ktv easily gets them out of poverty. If I am a girl, I would also do the same.
I also realise that once they started working in ktv, their concept of money is totally off. They can easily spend few k at mbs machiam like few hundreds haha..
Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.
She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)
Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆
I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.
Can I ask if it is easy to come to Singapore on a social visit pass after the 6 months WP? How likely will she be denied entry as it looks like she manage to come every month. I have a Viet girlfriend who also ended her 6 months WP so just wondering if it is easy for her to come visit
Can I ask if it is easy to come to Singapore on a social visit pass after the 6 months WP? How likely will she be denied entry as it looks like she manage to come every month. I have a Viet girlfriend who also ended her 6 months WP so just wondering if it is easy for her to come visit
There needs to be 2~3 months interval between WP and every social visit. Best if they only stay max 2 weeks for each social visit. If they stay longer or come back more frequently, they can be denied entry.
Earlier this year I met a KTV girl who strictly only allow drinking and playing games, no touchy-feely at all.
It was quite interesting for me as i dont really like girls who are too aggressive. This one provided a chase which i enjoy. After several visits over two months, the furthest I went was to see the nipple sticker pasted on her breast only.
Apparently she does this to all the customers in the joint and still can earn decent tips. But she is the rare one la, probably works for her because her face very beautiful.
There needs to be 2~3 months interval between WP and every social visit.
have debunked this for social visit
my viet girl sometimes come monthly
but she is here on genuine visit, not working here.
as long as you have reasonable proof to show you are here on genuine visit, they'll let her enter.
What reasonable proof:
private chat history with singapore family / relative / bf
her immigration history (if got a few time they see her every visit on come a few days and accurately as declared, they not even bother to ask her any question on future visits already)
have debunked this for social visit
my viet girl sometimes come monthly
but she is here on genuine visit, not working here.
as long as you have reasonable proof to show you are here on genuine visit, they'll let her enter.
What reasonable proof:
private chat history with singapore family / relative / bf
her immigration history (if got a few time they see her every visit on come a few days and accurately as declared, they not even bother to ask her any question on future visits already)
I was responding to TS based on his context. His gf is coming here to work.
My advice is from other vb who have successfully come to sg regularly to work.
Technically, anyone from Vietnam can come to Singapore anytime they want and stay up to 30 days for each social visit.
And technically, Singapore Immigration can turn away anyone if they suspect they are coming here for illegal reasons.
have debunked this for social visit
my viet girl sometimes come monthly
but she is here on genuine visit, not working here.
as long as you have reasonable proof to show you are here on genuine visit, they'll let her enter.
What reasonable proof:
private chat history with singapore family / relative / bf
her immigration history (if got a few time they see her every visit on come a few days and accurately as declared, they not even bother to ask her any question on future visits already)
Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpypump
I was responding to TS based on his context. His gf is coming here to work.
My advice is from other vb who have successfully come to sg regularly to work.
Technically, anyone from Vietnam can come to Singapore anytime they want and stay up to 30 days for each social visit.
And technically, Singapore Immigration can turn away anyone if they suspect they are coming here for illegal reasons.
The first reply is ok. How come the replies so far away? The more replies it gets, the more it drifts away. Is there any personal or opportunity losses if cannot come to singapore? The chop on the passport or visa tells foreigners how long the duration to stay in singapore. You all got converse in vietnamese as a day to day basis? Born in apple sure know how to talk to apple. Orange sure dun know much about apple. Then how to suddenly change from apple to orange, then talk to orange?
Lets talk about KTV girls. I understand they are here to earn as much money as possible. But I am curious how they can condition themselves to entertain different guys on a daily basis. I mean they are also human and have emotions too right? What if they do fall in love with one of the customers? Do they still continue to ply this trade?
Have you ever know of any ktv girls who solely just drink and play games without any extra?
Hey bro. I think I am very experience with Vietnam girls with 6 gfs and 5 at the same time and I know many vietnam girls. Let me share some experiences with you. 1 was also with a girl who works in pub then a ktv girl then become an assistant mummy. Got another is a ktv girl. 4 of them know one another. Anyway it's complicated. I was just being playful and inevitably hurt them.
There are 2 main things you need to take note.
Vietnam has a culture of excessive gambling men or women. And D**gs. Many Viet girls in Singapore gamble excessively here and in Vietnam. For those who don't gamble, they bought some houses back in Vietnam but because of jealousy of one another, many of them ended up gambling heavily in Singapore thinking it is even faster than what they earn in ktv. Some are still clearing debt and some for their family members in Vietnam.
As of all women, they will still fall in love but they would still be massively influence by their community of 12000 in Singapore inevitably over time. They ended up choosing monies over love unless they are really of poorer quality. And don't be surprised that they are secretly seeing other man or some do have husband (not too sure their nationality though).
For your situation having wife and kids and since you can't give her anything, better to just treat her as your companion. If you honestly wish her well, slowly show her less care and eventually she will move on. That's how I slowly did it. I know it's hard but that's the best way for you and her. They are really nice girl (1 million % better than SG girls but I'm too playful and hurt all of them along this journey of mine.
All the best bro and I hope you can resolve your issue soon.
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08-11-2023, 12:12 PM
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