MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)

[suzuki]

Originally Posted by keet

article from The Nation

Stigma fading for mia farang

Ask a girl in the rural Northeast what she wants to be when she grows up, and you might hear farmer, teacher, singer, actress – or foreigner’s wife.

Thai women taking Western husbands are nicknamed “mia farang”, and here in Isaan some 15,000 women wear the title with pride. To be a foreigner’s wife is to have money, security, stability, an end to crushing poverty, and by and large, community acceptance of your choice in “career”.

The numbers of teenagers and high school graduates trying to enter the social circles of the mia farang was at first a phenomenon, and now a norm of life in Isaan. Girls trade tips on scoring Western husbands, or seek advice from the increasing amount of schoolmates or older cousins who already have one.

The government is now even asking mia farang to sell Otop products and help bring more foreigners to the Kingdom.

“Try asking any threeyearold girl in a rural village what she would like to be when she grows up, and you would be surprised to hear how many of them reply mia farang,” Adul Jankaew, headman of Ban Nonngarm village in Udon Thani’s Muang district said.

According to Witchai Lormwong, a director of the district school in Ban Phranmuan, becoming a mia farang is often deemed “good and acceptable” by a girl’s friends and family.

“There’s no more question of whether being mia farang is right or wrong. Girls just do it,” Witchai said.

The villagers say that for an Isaan girl, a Westerner is potentially the Prince Charming in their Cinderella story. The right marriage could get them all they need, and much of what they’ve lacked, overnight. “Over there” is associated with bright futures, getting money for doing little to nothing, maybe even becoming rich.

The other option for girls is more traditional: hard work on farms with the prospect of uncertain income.

“Why not marry a foreigner? Its good money,” said “Nong Dum”, a grade 9

student in Ban Jaan village in Roi Et who did not want to reveal her real name.

That philosophy is now getting passed from mother to daughter in Isaan, according to Adul.

“They teach their kids that if someone asks them about what they want with their future, they should reply mia farang,” Adul said.

In Adul’s village, 25 out of 180 families have mia farang wives or mothers, not including those who have yet to get married and those working in the sex industry.

The area is one of many largescale miafarang communities scattered across the region, according to a recent survey by the National Economic and Social Development Board’s regional office.

But the decision to be a foreigner’s wife doesn’t hold appeal for everyone. Prasit Boonchoop, a Ban Jaan village headman, admitted that more and more of the girls in his village and nearby areas are strictly targeting foreigners. But some would rather have the security of poverty at home, rather than the uncertainty of wealth abroad.

“I would rather work hard here on the farm than stay abroad. I don’t know what they are doing there. I just want to study more, till at least grade 12,” said Nong Am, a 15-year-old in Ban Jaan.

But her 21yearold cousin just left for Switzerland on a “student visa” –meaning she has three months to find a mate, according to the family – and Nong Am’s mother is now doing cleaning work in Bangkok, a popular summer activity that provides Bangkok income and exposure to farang men.

“It is common for villagers here to work in Bangkok after the rice farming season, because there are no jobs here. The husbands drive taxis and the wives do cleaning or waitressing jobs in restaurants around the capital,” Prasit said.

“There are at least 100 families from this village working for [businesses] in Chuwit [Kamolwisit]’s Davis Group chain alone. Some get as much as Bt2,000 in tips on a lucky day, compared to their Bt1,200 salary,” he added.

Work in Bangkok or the tourist provinces are a rural girl’s map to meeting foreigners, according to the NESDB study.

Most villagers interviewed by The Nation immediately answered “economic factors” when asked to explain why they would be a mia farang. Currently, the 22 million people in the 19 northeastern provinces earn an income that is three times below the national average and 8.9 times lower than Bangkok’s.

The region still has 6,679 “poor” villages and another 806 “very poor” villages – accounting for 40 per cent of Thailand’s poor – according to a February NESDB report.

Ironically, the government’s Bt1million village fund is helping people move to the city. The money, which people say they will use to fix irrigation ditches or buy cattle, often purchases a ticket to Bangkok, according to the two village headmen.

They’re lured by a desire for material goods, and the quickest fix for that need is a farang husband.

“The villagers compete to be successful people and they measure success through the size of a house, the brand of a car and other luxury items,” Prasit said.

Some roads in mia farang villages put one in mind of Bangkok’s posher residential areas, instead of a village in the dry Northeast. The latest fashionable car might be parked in a garage attached to a Western style luxury rambler, all located behind a solid concrete fence.

The sign to Ban Jaan village is written in Thai and English. Local residents call the village, with its 80 Swiss soninlaws, Ban Jaan Swiss.

“We get a lot of support from farang money,” said village headman Adul, reflecting the level of community acceptance of mia farang.

But not every mia farang fairytale wedding has a happy ending, according to some women outside of the mia farang circle.

“Among the successful cases are the older women, or the ones who’ve been exposed to marriage. Most of the teen mia farang are not successful. They are only in the relationship for money, but they are immature about relationships,” said a food vendor in Udon Thani.

--The Nation 2004-06-16

Thank for the dicussion.It a very good topic.

[watchman]

Just want to add that the older u are, the more mature thinkin u have. I, for one tend to view things form many different angles especially in the "matter of the hearts" . It matters not what her past was as long she is faithful n feels the same like u do. Can see why foreigners r turnin to this part of the world to look companions. Ladies at their sides know their rights and will take no b.s. 2nd reason ,majority of these guys r long due for a Extreme Makeover. 3rd would be, men tend to look for ladies younger to them n not the other way round. Guess it's in our DNA code. Back home, that would next to impossible. Provided u hv plenty of 'moolahs'!
Guess it's a win-win situation for both side.

My 2 satangs.

[suzuki]

Hi Bros,

I agree with u that older women tend to be more mature n understanding.Why we go to thailand to look for companion coz the women in our own country demand too many thing which we are unable to give.But we know we can give the thai gal n their family basic standard of living in thailand.

Originally Posted by watchman

Just want to add that the older u are, the more mature thinkin u have. I, for one tend to view things form many different angles especially in the "matter of the hearts" . It matters not what her past was as long she is faithful n feels the same like u do. Can see why foreigners r turnin to this part of the world to look companions. Ladies at their sides know their rights and will take no b.s. 2nd reason ,majority of these guys r long due for a Extreme Makeover. 3rd would be, men tend to look for ladies younger to them n not the other way round. Guess it's in our DNA code. Back home, that would next to impossible. Provided u hv plenty of 'moolahs'!
Guess it's a win-win situation for both side.

My 2 satangs.

[delifrance]

The rise of women in modern society and especially in the more economically developed societies has created a note-worthy phenonemon: these women has forgotten how to understand men at the most primeval level.

women in thailand still know and they know how to use this knowledge. so are many other women in Indonesia, Philippines, China, Vietnam, Burma, etc.

One woman from an economically developed society whom I personally know said this: women in ecnomoically developed societies should take one step back and learn from the women of thailand.......there's something that they remembered and practised accordingly which we have long forgotten.

food for thought. *grin*

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by delifrance

women in ecnomoically developed societies should take one step back and learn from the women of thailand.......there's something that they remembered and practised accordingly which we have long forgotten.

That's why the country draws so many men back besides the baht issue. It's this so-called "Gong Tao" that encaptures the hearts of men & make them feel superior.

But then, it also boils down to the women knowing how to HANDLE a man.

[Snuber]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Good to see this thread come back.

Glad to see it back as well. You were mentioning some of friends faced alot of challenges having foreign wives or WLs as their wives in another thread. Care to elaborate more here?

BTW, need support from a few more bros with rep power. Please see my signature.

The most he can do is to create another new nick & build up his rep again. Maybe can get Sam to ban his IP instead

[suzuki]

Something to share with all the Sammyboy brother.

All these thing i am going to share is my own personal experience. I used to work in thailand before and also have friends who married thai wife(Mia Farang). I can speak basic decent thai,have a fews educated thai friend and learn a lot from thai custom .I can see that a lot of singaporean men went to thailand,vietnam or etc to get a thai wife who is young,pretty and beautiful.But behind all these thai gal r a lot of problems and story.There are a few questions we need to ask ourselves when we go thailand,know the gal for a short period of time then get marry.Things are not so simple, $ really play a part.
Question 1)Is there true love in your realtionship? To be frank,i find a lot of these shotgun marriage a deal,not all marriage.For the thai gal,she just want to get out of poverty.To get out poverty for them is either marry a foreigner's men or get a job that pay well. I dun believe,u can get to know a gal for 1 month then get marry. Dun deceive yourself. For the thai gal family,as long as his daughter can bring back $,she is a good daughter.When she cannot bring back $,she is a bad daughter.
Q2)When u cannot provide what the thai gal want,what will happen?
When u cannot provide the $,she want,all the nonensese such as quarrel,cry etc will come. The popular thing the gal will do is find another man or go back home to thailand when she earn enough. It a very common thing,i have seen a lot of such cases.
Q3)Is both of your in the right frequency?I believe most of the singaporean r educate,our thinking is more western. But for most of the thai gal(not all) r not well educated.For most of them,they think that if they get to marry into singapore,they will have good life. But that not true,we as singaporean men still have to work hard(Scold by boss,Might be sack when recession come,high standard of living).So a lot of the thai gal when they realised that coming to singapore to stay also have to work,they cannot accept it.

To summary all these,i feel that finding a foreigner wife is nothing wrong.But u need to ask yourself the above question n let the gal know that life in singapore is never going to be easy. 1)Know each other well for sometimes first before u get marry,never go for sudden marriage. 2)Know the gal's family too play a very important part too.If the gal family is greedy,they will have a lot of rubbish about needed $ every month.That is not good for u realtionship with u gal too.3)Find a educate wife is confrim as she is educate and can think farer,but not all cases.4)Find a wife who is willing to take hardship with u,For example(When u r sack by u boss and got no $ at that time,she is willing to stick by u and take hardship with u ).U must find this type of women,pretty or not,it not really an issue as long as u have no problem facing her.

I hope my sharing will help brother.Please dun frame me.I take time n effort to share my experience with all of you.Please note:The sharing dun apply to all thai gal,there r good thai gal around too,and marriage going strong now too.
Thank.

[homeaffair]

Hi Bro Suzuki,
Agreed to most of your pts.Thai girls tend to prefer western men becoz they loaded with cash which i believe many sg men can't compete with.

Personally,I got a Thai gf. I declare that I am not rich and cannot provide luxurious life that most Thai girl would hope for and she don't mind at all.

She also understands the need for her to work as she know it is difficult to survive if only men are working.Actually brought her to back to my home (HDB flat) and dun mind at all. I believe educated Thai girls don't mind to work after marriage esp those living in the city areas...

Jus my 1 baht tots.

Homeaffair

[Sinoview]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

NBzzz I didn't know that I'm deceiving myself. I thought I have a happy marriage leh. KNN, that means all my friends and fellow bros here who have met my family are all lying to me. They all tell me I have a good wife and family. CBzzz! What kind of friends they are?
:

Aiya...you lucky fellow, yrs is a very happy marriage. The reasons it happen is not "pure luck" or norms. There are many reasons for yr success. I think you know yrself. One very obvious one is that you are realistic and know how to spot a lifetime companion. You have choosen a compatable and "mature" lady who are ready to share her her with you. You have yr success because you are realistic, practicallt and know yr strengths.....

If were 40yrs then and chose a 20 yrs gal just out from a village and result will probably be totally different.

You are right, what Suzuki has mentioned is not unique to Thail...It's definitely not. Viet, Indo, Cambodian, PRC etc.. fm developing countries are all the same ...those who chooses to marry a foreigner (there r few exception) esp. if the age gap is wide are wanting to have a better life. A life better than back home and a life that they hope to spread and share with their families members....

Why would a sweet 20 yrs old gal would want to marry a 40 yrs foreign "old" man whom she hardly know ??? Has all the man in her village "died" ?? Or she married him out of the lack of "fathering" love ??? No money and a better life is the key. So the primary objective has to be fufilled before any factors can come into play.

I do agreed that after sometime "love" can bloom from the young gal butfor that to happen her prime objective have to be met. The "old" man has to be financially sound and able to provide her material needs....

To put it blantly...such marriage is like a business transaction. With financial been the key factor.

The next question is the amount of " financial needs" that will satisfy the gal and affordable by the man.... This is a very complicated issue...

But if the man is 40 yrs and the woman is 35 yrs or even 32 yrs... the "money" factor will be reduced.....

I wonder if i'm right to say that the "financial factor" is proportional with the age differences.... The $$$ involved becomes more important as the age gap get wider ????

Just my persoanl opinion....

[free]

Originally Posted by Sinoview

Aiya...you lucky fellow, yrs is a very happy marriage. The reasons it happen is not "pure luck" or norms. There are many reasons for yr success. I think you know yrself. One very obvious one is that you are realistic and know how to spot a lifetime companion. You have choosen a compatable and "mature" lady who are ready to share her her with you. You have yr success because you are realistic, practicallt and know yr strengths.....

If were 40yrs then and chose a 20 yrs gal just out from a village and result will probably be totally different.

You are right, what Suzuki has mentioned is not unique to Thail...It's definitely not. Viet, Indo, Cambodian, PRC etc.. fm developing countries are all the same ...those who chooses to marry a foreigner (there r few exception) esp. if the age gap is wide are wanting to have a better life. A life better than back home and a life that they hope to spread and share with their families members....

Why would a sweet 20 yrs old gal would want to marry a 40 yrs foreign "old" man whom she hardly know ??? Has all the man in her village "died" ?? Or she married him out of the lack of "fathering" love ??? No money and a better life is the key. So the primary objective has to be fufilled before any factors can come into play.

I do agreed that after sometime "love" can bloom from the young gal butfor that to happen her prime objective have to be met. The "old" man has to be financially sound and able to provide her material needs....

To put it blantly...such marriage is like a business transaction. With financial been the key factor.

The next question is the amount of " financial needs" that will satisfy the gal and affordable by the man.... This is a very complicated issue...

But if the man is 40 yrs and the woman is 35 yrs or even 32 yrs... the "money" factor will be reduced.....

I wonder if i'm right to say that the "financial factor" is proportional with the age differences.... The $$$ involved becomes more important as the age gap get wider ????

Just my persoanl opinion....

Do not just kook at the numerical age difference and form conclusions from the SG perspective. Their views may be very different from ours. Emotional and Mental gap (which determines compatibility) are probably far more important. You also have to take into consideration how the thai men generally behaves, which in turn affect the mentality of the thai ladies. For all u know, a 20-something man may even be considered "wai-run" by the TG who is serious about having a good man who loves her, a happy family, and she will judge the guy based his behaviour.

Generally financial stability increases when age increases, but there are exceptions too. And it is not the only reason why a TG chooses to be with a particular man, though generally, it does play a part. At least he should be able to support her - and not all TGs demand an affluent lifestyle. One of the things I realised good TGs treasure a lot, if not most is faithfulness from the man (hope this dun open up a can of worms). Almost every TG I met and had a closer friendship with, puts this as their No 1 criteria.

Here I am speaking about TGs in general, and not a particular group. And yes, choosing the right gal (or at least one with high odds of being one) from the start is of utmost importance.

[suzuki]

Hello Brother thaivisitor,

Very sorry for the late reply.From what u say in u post that u met u thai wife who has a son from a earlier marriage.known her for 1 day then decided to get marry with her.I can see that at the time u did not ask yourself the few questions i have post in the reply.A lot of singaporean dun think far.For example:A lot of SG men who just went vietnam,indonesia etc and select a young n beautiful from thousands of gals waiting to be selected.Ask yourself,is it a deal or trade or is there really true love.Dun deceive yourself that u can know a gal for a short time and there is true love,it a business deal.
From u reply brother thaivisitor,i can see that u really regret making the rush decision to marry without knowing the gal more n think of the many factors.I believe u r pretty tie up with $ coz u need to feed your whole family(U,your thai wife and 3 children dun count u own parents and u thai wife family),it really siong on u.But seriously,there is nothing u can do but continue to work harder n control u spending,coz u have to take up u responsibility as a husband and father to u family.Just take thing easy n enjoy life.Coz i believe in life,not everything is smooth sailing,there will be up n down.Any decision you make in life,dun regret the decision u make.Stick by u decision and continue with u life,enjoy u life to the fullest.
I personally hope that all brothers in the sammyboy forum can learn something from our own personal experience.Please note:This is my own personal view,dun apply to everybody.There are still good marriage around,but there are also a lot of sad story around too.I have seen a lot of sad story myself too.

From thaivisitor.
NBzzzz why didn't you post this earlier? So that I can learn from your vast experiences leh.... KNN, now I'm stuck liow lah....

I met my present wife (thai girl from the north with a son) thru a third party. The first time I saw her, I felt that she could be a good wife to me so I ask her what she thought of me. She says she also find me OK. On the same day, I met her mum and she too says she finds me OK. We only had about a day of getting to know each other.

I told her that I would like to marry her (on our first meeting) but I have to let me parents see her first, so I brought her to bangkok to make her passport, and from there brought her to Singapore.

My parents find her OK, so we went to the Thai Embassy to get the information required for us to be married, and all such documents were obtained with a couple of weeks.

We then flew back to Bangkok and legally registered our marriage. All in all, it was about 4 - 5 weeks.

NBzzz I didn't know that I'm deceiving myself. I thought I have a happy marriage leh. KNN, that means all my friends and fellow bros here who have met my family are all lying to me. They all tell me I have a good wife and family. CBzzz! What kind of friends they are?

My wife bore me a son whose now 5 years old, and I'm expecting another son next month. So all in all I have 3 sons. In fact I was planning maybe a couple of years more, try for a daughter. NBzzz, Should have listen to you as the "expert" in such matters lah....

thaivisitor

[suzuki]

Up for this old thread