Regret Marrying A China Wife?

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Brother, at least you got your head on straight. The top one thinking more than the bottom one. I like that you are able to answer these questions logically and seem to have at least given them some thought in advance of my assistance to you. What I suggest is to see a marraige counselor and to co habitate in your parents home or a rented apt first. Do it for about 2 years then tie the knot. You can engage her but not marry yet. You have not gone thorugh down cycles and tested each other in real time. Its all words and plans but no historical history of your ability to live together yet. This is especially true given your long distnace relationship so far. Keep us posted.

Just to share a bit on her love history. My present PRC gf now ever engaged with one PRC guy (his dad ang moh & mum PRC) after 3 years of dating. In the end, her ex-bf eloped with one female casino dealer after conning some money in Macau.

She is heart-broken after finding out that and broke off him.

She travelled to SG to be with me for a week normally because her boss dun approve long leave. Of course she stayed in my parents' house for a short while. At the moment she still earned an reasonable income in Shanghai so financially do not depend on me now.

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by newbie23

Well, she might behave differently once she has obtained a PR or you have purchased a new flat.

Tell you to test something.

Ask a few buddies of yours to act like creditors and put up an act like you're owing a lot of people a lot of money. You can use the WC betting as an excuse that you had incurred a lot of debts

See her reaction for the next 4 weeks. If she really love you and not because of other reasons, she would not leave you. In fact, she might give you some of her savings for you to pay your debts

Wah ..this is not a good way la. I maybe broke but not debt-ridden at all.

If I intend kick her off.. this method maybe useful.

Our relationship is based on sincere & truthful toward each other then able to lasted 1 year. And also not matters how poor are guys are. We should not take money from women over such things. Its reflect very badly on us.

Moreover I intend to have a future with her ..just now over the phone she just said if really wanted a future with her I should work harder & earn more money

[newbie23]

I'm not saying you take money from her. Just test her a bit before marriage.

If not, it could be your worst nightmare.

Ah ... how come she wants you to earn more money before can have a future with her ?

Originally Posted by Chengdu dog

Wah ..this is not a good way la. I maybe broke but not debt-ridden at all.

If I intend kick her off.. this method maybe useful.

Our relationship is based on sincere & truthful toward each other then able to lasted 1 year. And also not matters how poor are guys are. We should not take money from women over such things. Its reflect very badly on us.

Moreover I intend to have a future with her ..just now over the phone she just said if really wanted a future with her I should work harder & earn more money

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by newbie23

I'm not saying you take money from her. Just test her a bit before marriage.

If not, it could be your worst nightmare.

Ah ... how come she wants you to earn more money before can have a future with her ?

Ya.... thanks

I can't bear to open my mouth to tell her I need money to pay off creditors.

She know I am an average income earner so want me to upgrade myself and spend wisely

[RealEstateGuy]

Some red flags are popping up. Brother, your relationship is new at the 1 year mark. It has not stood the test of time and hardship. It is also a rebound for her in a way. Its hard for you to view it through the outside and even if you do its not an objective view. Have you talked to your brother or father about this deeply? You really need to test her.

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Some red flags are popping up. Brother, your relationship is new at the 1 year mark. It has not stood the test of time and hardship. It is also a rebound for her in a way. Its hard for you to view it through the outside and even if you do its not an objective view. Have you talked to your brother or father about this deeply? You really need to test her.

Bro Real,

My family have no objection as long as I am happy with it.

As for the testing part hmm you know we are in long-distance relationship to survive 1 year is not easy liao.

In early 1990s.. our most SG men went China 1st time meet the girl & family and his 2nd visit marry the girl & brought her to SG.

Most of these guys do not really understand the motives of these PRC women marrying to SG is to live a comfortable luxury life without needing to work. If not, the SG men cannot provide that at least these PRC women must get PR status & half of SG assets (HDB flats) before moving on.

I will have a heart-to-heart talk & conduct further test on her. Thanks

[Lone_Wolf]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

1) If its your parents home then it would not be proportioned in divorce.

There are exceptions...... my friend's case kenna have to give the spouse 1/4 share of the family bungalow.

My friend was from a rich family and when he married a shanghai girl, the parents objected as they have bad impression of PRC gals. They bought houses as wedding gift for their other 3 children but refused to buy for my friend. Instead they asked him to bring his wife and stay with them in their bungalow so they can keep an eye on her.

When the shanghai gal got her PR she started to find trouble with the in-laws and finally filed for divorce from my friend. My friend thought since the bungalow belong to his parents he no need to worry. But the damn bitch sued for a share of the bungalow.

In court, her cunning lawyer asked my friend's father why he asked them to stay in the bungalow? When the father answered he wanted the newly wed couple to have a home, the judge ruled the bungalow WAS a matrimonial home to the couple.

He divided the bungalow into half share to the parents and half to the couple. And then he gave the wife half of the couple's share. So my friend's ex-wife actually got 25% of the bungalow.

The Womens Charter is really horrible.

[superbucks899]

Pity the Rich Guy....

Maybe we give china girls too many chances...

It would be good if the authorities revise the immigration laws here ie: Revoke the PR of the foreign party with immediate effect should the divorce take place within 30 years of a marriage.

Result: Eliminate the need for foreign ladies using us guys as donkies to get a PR.

Separation of assets should only be looked into very carefully; and not fixed at "half/50%" the foreign ladies could have tagged the relationship/marriage on $$$$ since day 1.

Reasonable figures should be given out. ie: Maybe half a house, not half a singapore house, but half a house based in their hometown, afterall a failed marriage should entitle the foreign lady a trip back home and not a ticket for her to go for donkey hunting.

The list would go on and on, who will support us...

[superbucks899]

Originally Posted by Chengdu dog

Presently I am dating a Shanghai girl.. I told her that I am poor but she still think I am a good catch.
And now we are talking meet-our-parents sessions soon.

She assured me that she will be faithful to me and not easy hook up by any other guys.

In fact I am an empty-shelled should I marry her & stay in my parents' house ?

Do not mess your life up... You only have only yourself to blame... Its almost comparable to striking HIV... Maybe Syphilis Infection on not so serious cases, the disease lives in you....

Frankly speaking, you as an individual, are not any flawless too, you give problems to your parents, maybe last time but not at present. Your parents are to take the blame, because they chose to have you.

About you getting a china bride to stay with you; You are finding numerous problems for yourself. I would be glad if you only blame yourself and not your parents should shit hit the fan in such a relationship. Your parents nest might be implicated, that is real sin if they have you but lose half of their nest in the next 3 decades of their life.

Kindly push the "STOP" button. Do not dirty the Singapore void-decks any further, there are blood stains amost everywhere; it all happened but you are not aware of it...

In extreme cases, the above might happen...

Good Luck...

[Chengdu dog]

[QUOTE=Lone_Wolf;5020923]There are exceptions...... my friend's case kenna have to give the spouse 1/4 share of the family bungalow.

My friend was from a rich family and when he married a shanghai girl, the parents objected as they have bad impression of PRC gals. They bought houses as wedding gift for their other 3 children but refused to buy for my friend. Instead they asked him to bring his wife and stay with them in their bungalow so they can keep an eye on her.

When the shanghai gal got her PR she started to find trouble with the in-laws and finally filed for divorce from my friend. My friend thought since the bungalow belong to his parents he no need to worry. But the damn bitch sued for a share of the bungalow.

In court, her cunning lawyer asked my friend's father why he asked them to stay in the bungalow? When the father answered he wanted the newly wed couple to have a home, the judge ruled the bungalow WAS a matrimonial home to the couple.

He divided the bungalow into half share to the parents and half to the couple. And then he gave the wife half of the couple's share. So my friend's ex-wife actually got 25% of the bungalow.

The Womens Charter is really horrible. [QUOTE]



I did heard similar cases before ... most probably I will rent a HDB flat from open market after marrying my PRC gf.

If finances tight then rent a master bedroom will do

[PuTonRen]

Originally Posted by Chengdu dog

I did heard similar cases before ... most probably I will rent a HDB flat from open market after marrying my PRC gf.

If finances tight then rent a master bedroom will do

Bro,

Enough said by many brothers in the forum. Please proceed with care!

Singaporeans are not stupid, but are too soft hearted. The PRC girls are survivors and will use all means to get what they want, sometimes, resorting to lowly schemes. However, I do not deny the possibility of the existence of PRC who are good as wife.

[newbie23]

To be fair to all foreign brides, 30 years is a bit too long.

But it's a fact that many of these women divorce their sg husbands once they obtain PRs. Most cases are within 2 years.

I had relatives whose PRC wives wanted to divorce 3 months after getting PRs

Maybe revoke PR should divorce take place within 3 years of marriage is more fair to everyone.

Originally Posted by superbucks899

Pity the Rich Guy....

Maybe we give china girls too many chances...

It would be good if the authorities revise the immigration laws here ie: Revoke the PR of the foreign party with immediate effect should the divorce take place within 30 years of a marriage.

Result: Eliminate the need for foreign ladies using us guys as donkies to get a PR.

Separation of assets should only be looked into very carefully; and not fixed at "half/50%" the foreign ladies could have tagged the relationship/marriage on $$$$ since day 1.

Reasonable figures should be given out. ie: Maybe half a house, not half a singapore house, but half a house based in their hometown, afterall a failed marriage should entitle the foreign lady a trip back home and not a ticket for her to go for donkey hunting.

The list would go on and on, who will support us...

[Chengdu dog]

Originally Posted by superbucks899

Do not mess your life up... You only have only yourself to blame... Its almost comparable to striking HIV... Maybe Syphilis Infection on not so serious cases, the disease lives in you....

Frankly speaking, you as an individual, are not any flawless too, you give problems to your parents, maybe last time but not at present. Your parents are to take the blame, because they chose to have you.

About you getting a china bride to stay with you; You are finding numerous problems for yourself. I would be glad if you only blame yourself and not your parents should shit hit the fan in such a relationship. Your parents nest might be implicated, that is real sin if they have you but lose half of their nest in the next 3 decades of their life.

Kindly push the "STOP" button. Do not dirty the Singapore void-decks any further, there are blood stains amost everywhere; it all happened but you are not aware of it...

In extreme cases, the above might happen...

Good Luck...

I had already intended to rent a place first ....

Any relationship toward marriage involve unpredictable risk. Please do not view PRC girls negatively.

At times .. the same can also happen on if we marry SG or Msia women

[newbie23]

Our women charter is too ridiculous and 100% biased against men

A regular FL did tell me before - she wanted to divorce her sg husband 3 months after getting PR. Her hubby begged and pacified her by giving her more allowances.

I ask her - why divorce, got husband no good meh? She laughed, she married him because she wanted PR. Once got PR, divorce, can still get maintenance fee and can now look for better and richer men.

If we think logically, all FLs who married sg men would want to divorce after getting PRs. why ?

(1) Can get maintenance fee from husband
(2) Can now bed with other rich men to get more money. If not divorce, get caught, can be sued for adultery.

We need to revise the women charter !

[newbie23]

I agree with you, just that the percentage of PRC girls going bad is much higher

Take this analogy. Having sex with FL with or without a condom may or may not lead to HIV or STDs

But without condom, the risk is very high

Originally Posted by Chengdu dog

I had already intended to rent a place first ....

Any relationship toward marriage involve unpredictable risk. Please do not view PRC girls negatively.

At times .. the same can also happen on if we marry SG or Msia women