Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

[VOGS]

Originally Posted by bluejacketrock

Sounds like the honorable thing to let her go yea. But for you, zero emotion? Or sad?

I think high chance she will really resist contact for the first few months but eventually will make contact with you when she’s bored or things aren’t going well.

tbh sad definitely cos emotions are involved. As much as i do not wish to let her go but i guess i shld not be selfish, i couldn't give her a status and despite being with me for 4 long years where she could be with other potential guys..however, she has been texting me moments ago after last night parting. Lol.

[bluejacketrock]

Originally Posted by VOGS

tbh sad definitely cos emotions are involved. As much as i do not wish to let her go but i guess i shld not be selfish, i couldn't give her a status and despite being with me for 4 long years where she could be with other potential guys..however, she has been texting me moments ago after last night parting. Lol.

Alamak, are you wary she's playing. like wanna get best of both world's kind? Are you also exhausted by the relationship, think since this happen best time to let go?

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by VOGS

tbh sad definitely cos emotions are involved. As much as i do not wish to let her go but i guess i shld not be selfish, i couldn't give her a status and despite being with me for 4 long years where she could be with other potential guys..however, she has been texting me moments ago after last night parting. Lol.

I can understand the feelings. I have one for 8 years. I wanted to let her go on quite a few times

Sometimes because she keeps complaining she has no status. And trust me as the days go by her eyes will also start roving and heart sparks for a single man. And at those times, I think leaving her is the best option.

Other times because I feel I should be fair to her and since she is with me and in theory she is attached(but I am married), she should not and cannot find someone else. With all things being equal maybe she should find someone to call her own.

in your case since she decided to move on, and find someone new, then better to bow out. That's what I tell my little three, the day you find someone new or have feelings for another guy, I am out of her, and I wish you all the best.

[VOGS]

Originally Posted by bluejacketrock

Alamak, are you wary she's playing. like wanna get best of both world's kind? Are you also exhausted by the relationship, think since this happen best time to let go?

I do concur she prolly wants the best of both worlds as I recalled vividly of she asking me if I will get to know some other gals and bed them after her. And my reply was, I am married, which gal will be with someone like me? And she said men at their late 30s be it married or whatsoever, as long as they are doing well, there are bound to be gals whom are attracted to this category of men. I replied i dk and she said there you see, all guys are the same. Wth, if she decides to leave me, of cos i have the rights to date anyone i wish right. She kept emphasizing that she believes no other guys including the current one would dote her as much as I do. Well, its kinda true, no money no honey. That night apart from the valentine day gifts i gave her, when i dropped her home, i gave her 1k saying that she may use it for cab expenses. Initially, she refused to take saying why u still treat me so good, in the end she did accept it too. I'm wondering does she really loves me or is it the monetary items which has made her be with me for 4yrs. My frds have been telling me that apart from me, she is bound to be fucking other guys too. This statement kinda made me imbalance and to the extend i actually many a times stalk her at her workplace or home to give myself some assurance. I even got my colleague fb account to stalk her as my small 3 used to b my colleague. Well, young gals do love selfies and post them on ig/fb. I cant stand it when she seeks attention via this social media platform. On a mthly basis, i would deliver flowers to her via the online florist web and she said when her colleagues ask, she could not show off as she is afraid that they know of my status. But how e hell would they know sia.

[VOGS]

She made a statement "though I am attached now", "I still feel kinda confused" as she still has feelings for me. She says not to meet anymore cos everytime when we meet, I always have sex with her and she feels bad for her bf...i really wonder since she claims that she has got gd feelings for him, why would she allow me to bed her that night. Horny?

[VOGS]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

I can understand the feelings. I have one for 8 years. I wanted to let her go on quite a few times

Sometimes because she keeps complaining she has no status. And trust me as the days go by her eyes will also start roving and heart sparks for a single man. And at those times, I think leaving her is the best option.

Other times because I feel I should be fair to her and since she is with me and in theory she is attached(but I am married), she should not and cannot find someone else. With all things being equal maybe she should find someone to call her own.

in your case since she decided to move on, and find someone new, then better to bow out. That's what I tell my little three, the day you find someone new or have feelings for another guy, I am out of her, and I wish you all the best.

Saying is definitely easy bro but till now though currently we are still on talking terms via sms, i still have strong feelings for her. But, of cos, those lovey dovey msg I did not send her anymore. My bro in law advised me to let go the feelings and to just have sex with her if she dates me someday. Tbh, i do not wish to let her go but again I need to pretend to be a gentlemen by telling her "i wish u all the best and may u be happy always"

[VOGS]

Ordered a bouquet of flowers bundled with a 7inch mango cake online last Monday and have it delivered yesterday to her workplace. She began taking selfies and all telling me how much I dote on her and all. Last evening was the worse feel i ever have thru out my 37years of life. I thought i would feel btr by telling her "have a gd evening with ur bf" after work later. Man, the feelings sucks, when i saw couples lurking around my workplace, i thought of the current bf whom will be hugging/kissing/groping her later. Sigh..i realised i m still full of resentment, anger, jealousy and etc...I really wonder do i really love her or just merely the gd sex that she gave. Tbh, the 4yrs of rs with her, i have spent lots of time, efforts, money, lies and etc to sustain this invisible rs with her. Her parents frds even asked her hey how come ur daughter dating someone whom seems older than her by a lot. Btw, her parents knew about me and my marital status. Many times, she was plugged by her parents which made her stressed. So, when she is stressed, she will stress me out like telling me "my parents say if u love me, u will have divorce ur wife long ago". Well, this is really a major gamble as to whether its worth. I got confused too at times, back then when i date her, she actually still in a rs with her ex bf of 7years. While they are still dating, I've alrd bedded her. Hence, if she can do this to the ex, she can also do it to me if she meets someone richer, handsome & etc. This is indeed a high risk challenge with zero ROI. lol. I do agree that women are great in mind fucking guys..and do not try to understand wtf they are thinking cos we have no clue what are up to their sleeves. Honestly, i dk if she really loves me deep down though she has emphasised that im the man she loves most in her life..

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by VOGS

Ordered a bouquet of flowers bundled with a 7inch mango cake online last Monday and have it delivered yesterday to her workplace. She began taking selfies and all telling me how much I dote on her and all. Last evening was the worse feel i ever have thru out my 37years of life. I thought i would feel btr by telling her "have a gd evening with ur bf" after work later. Man, the feelings sucks, when i saw couples lurking around my workplace, i thought of the current bf whom will be hugging/kissing/groping her later. Sigh..i realised i m still full of resentment, anger, jealousy and etc...I really wonder do i really love her or just merely the gd sex that she gave. Tbh, the 4yrs of rs with her, i have spent lots of time, efforts, money, lies and etc to sustain this invisible rs with her. Her parents frds even asked her hey how come ur daughter dating someone whom seems older than her by a lot. Btw, her parents knew about me and my marital status. Many times, she was plugged by her parents which made her stressed. So, when she is stressed, she will stress me out like telling me "my parents say if u love me, u will have divorce ur wife long ago". Well, this is really a major gamble as to whether its worth. I got confused too at times, back then when i date her, she actually still in a rs with her ex bf of 7years. While they are still dating, I've alrd bedded her. Hence, if she can do this to the ex, she can also do it to me if she meets someone richer, handsome & etc. This is indeed a high risk challenge with zero ROI. lol. I do agree that women are great in mind fucking guys..and do not try to understand wtf they are thinking cos we have no clue what are up to their sleeves. Honestly, i dk if she really loves me deep down though she has emphasised that im the man she loves most in her life..

bro. I have been there.

its not a nice feeling. And I can really feel you invested your time, effort and emotions.

Try to find a way to resolve your inner conflict. can you work on your relationship with your wife?

I found the best way to not feel shitty is to be in the arms of someone else.

[MoeLanYong]

Originally Posted by VOGS

Ordered a bouquet of flowers bundled with a 7inch mango cake online last Monday and have it delivered yesterday to her workplace. She began taking selfies and all telling me how much I dote on her and all. Last evening was the worse feel i ever have thru out my 37years of life. I thought i would feel btr by telling her "have a gd evening with ur bf" after work later. Man, the feelings sucks, when i saw couples lurking around my workplace, i thought of the current bf whom will be hugging/kissing/groping her later. Sigh..i realised i m still full of resentment, anger, jealousy and etc...I really wonder do i really love her or just merely the gd sex that she gave. Tbh, the 4yrs of rs with her, i have spent lots of time, efforts, money, lies and etc to sustain this invisible rs with her. Her parents frds even asked her hey how come ur daughter dating someone whom seems older than her by a lot. Btw, her parents knew about me and my marital status. Many times, she was plugged by her parents which made her stressed. So, when she is stressed, she will stress me out like telling me "my parents say if u love me, u will have divorce ur wife long ago". Well, this is really a major gamble as to whether its worth. I got confused too at times, back then when i date her, she actually still in a rs with her ex bf of 7years. While they are still dating, I've alrd bedded her. Hence, if she can do this to the ex, she can also do it to me if she meets someone richer, handsome & etc. This is indeed a high risk challenge with zero ROI. lol. I do agree that women are great in mind fucking guys..and do not try to understand wtf they are thinking cos we have no clue what are up to their sleeves. Honestly, i dk if she really loves me deep down though she has emphasised that im the man she loves most in her life..

From your writings, you enjoy the conquest, gloating about how you can hump your little 3 despite her being with her ex and now, with her new found bf. Truth is, nobody cares about your conquests. Me think you are just being silly by hurting yourself. Sex is meant to bond a couple. An exchange of love and bodily passion. You cannot have sex with a person without emotions just like you cannot be in water and not get wet. This is why you feel for her. Well, she is gone and you are the one left empty. She is discovering her new love, and probably his body, while you are stuck with a wife you lost interest in. Who is better off? Imho, her. She has a chance to be emotionally attached to her new bf when they have sex, the same way she bonded with you through sex. You are left worse off. Fact check: There is no way you can sustain a relationship with another woman when you are married. Keep having little 3s and keep hurting yourself. We in the forum can only empthathize with you. And I am not sure if many will empathize. Who cares whether she loves you or not. I have this classmate who is a career mistress. Yea, we may entertain her about her bf issues the first time. But by her 4th affair, we got tired of hearing her stories. Its like we are all talking about our kids and here is this childish woman in her 40s still wondering if her 8th bf loves her. Ain't such people weird? Come on. Grow up. You sound exactly like her. A 37 y.o man talking about romance. Why don't you talk it out with your real life pals and see how weird you sound. Maybe its time for you to wisen up, confront the issues with your wife and bond with her again, not with a little 3. I know my words sound harsh. But I do you no favors by suger coating it.

[bluejacketrock]

Originally Posted by MoeLanYong

From your writings, you enjoy the conquest, gloating about how you can hump your little 3 despite her being with her ex and now, with her new found bf. Truth is, nobody cares about your conquests. Me think you are just being silly by hurting yourself. Sex is meant to bond a couple. An exchange of love and bodily passion. You cannot have sex with a person without emotions just like you cannot be in water and not get wet. This is why you feel for her. Well, she is gone and you are the one left empty. She is discovering her new love, and probably his body, while you are stuck with a wife you lost interest in. Who is better off? Imho, her. She has a chance to be emotionally attached to her new bf when they have sex, the same way she bonded with you through sex. You are left worse off. Fact check: There is no way you can sustain a relationship with another woman when you are married. Keep having little 3s and keep hurting yourself. We in the forum can only empthathize with you. And I am not sure if many will empathize. Who cares whether she loves you or not. I have this classmate who is a career mistress. Yea, we may entertain her about her bf issues the first time. But by her 4th affair, we got tired of hearing her stories. Its like we are all talking about our kids and here is this childish woman in her 40s still wondering if her 8th bf loves her. Ain't such people weird? Come on. Grow up. You sound exactly like her. A 37 y.o man talking about romance. Why don't you talk it out with your real life pals and see how weird you sound. Maybe its time for you to wisen up, confront the issues with your wife and bond with her again, not with a little 3. I know my words sound harsh. But I do you no favors by suger coating it.

Im 34 this year... married just couple of yrs. and also ended with a really unnecessary affair 4 months so ago.... heart still yearn for her like mad which really made me regret for starting it in the first place even though it was oh so good... but yea rationally what you say is what my head tell me. Let go I must.

Thanks for the scolding... I really am here trying to wake up my idea.

[MoeLanYong]

Wa lau eh. I not scolding lor. I see good people making bad choices. You and bro VOGS sound like normal dudes. But for nothing go hurt yourselves. And eventually, hurt the ones you love. Just for a bit of forbidden fun. Hello, you all married liao. Don't lao hero go xian another girl just to feel song. These type of things should be done BEFORE you marry. After married liao, realize this - there will only be pain and sorrow with each affair. Anyway, I damn chiu cheng. Aim one bro, hit another. *facepalm*. Hope you let go too. Of her and your guilt. Don't beat yourself too hard. Learn. Move. On.

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by VOGS

Saying is definitely easy bro but till now though currently we are still on talking terms via sms, i still have strong feelings for her. But, of cos, those lovey dovey msg I did not send her anymore. My bro in law advised me to let go the feelings and to just have sex with her if she dates me someday. Tbh, i do not wish to let her go but again I need to pretend to be a gentlemen by telling her "i wish u all the best and may u be happy always"

well if you take her as a hole for hire, which is really what you should be doing since you are married and you want to stay married, then what you have with her, and the money and gifts are just a arrangement and monetary agreement.

I just met my FB for a quickie. Its fast and quick and I use her body because she is still damn tight below for a milf. I will never marry her even if I am divorced, and I will always be ready to let her go if she decides this is not her path.

It takes a lot to get to this point, but its inevitable

Ignore those people who think they know what they are talking about, trying to be the pope or another idiot of a fool talking about how great his marriage is in a thread that everyone is saying how the charter is screwing them or their other halves are cheating or the complete lack of sex. I don't believe insensitive people who toot their own horns like that can make marriage work. Another guy boost about how he make investments through property in his 30s and never has to work. When I questioned him, he couldn't present the facts. So ignore the naysayers. They don't have any experience of real problems worth listening to.

in the early years of this little 3 I would say follow your heart, but after so many years I would say, all good things have to come to an end. If you know the outcome then you know how much focus you need to invest in this never workable arrangement

[VOGS]

Originally Posted by MoeLanYong

From your writings, you enjoy the conquest, gloating about how you can hump your little 3 despite her being with her ex and now, with her new found bf. Truth is, nobody cares about your conquests. Me think you are just being silly by hurting yourself. Sex is meant to bond a couple. An exchange of love and bodily passion. You cannot have sex with a person without emotions just like you cannot be in water and not get wet. This is why you feel for her. Well, she is gone and you are the one left empty. She is discovering her new love, and probably his body, while you are stuck with a wife you lost interest in. Who is better off? Imho, her. She has a chance to be emotionally attached to her new bf when they have sex, the same way she bonded with you through sex. You are left worse off. Fact check: There is no way you can sustain a relationship with another woman when you are married. Keep having little 3s and keep hurting yourself. We in the forum can only empthathize with you. And I am not sure if many will empathize. Who cares whether she loves you or not. I have this classmate who is a career mistress. Yea, we may entertain her about her bf issues the first time. But by her 4th affair, we got tired of hearing her stories. Its like we are all talking about our kids and here is this childish woman in her 40s still wondering if her 8th bf loves her. Ain't such people weird? Come on. Grow up. You sound exactly like her. A 37 y.o man talking about romance. Why don't you talk it out with your real life pals and see how weird you sound. Maybe its time for you to wisen up, confront the issues with your wife and bond with her again, not with a little 3. I know my words sound harsh. But I do you no favors by suger coating it.

Tbh I did wanted to let her go amicably, I told her after the last pre-valentine day dinner that we shouldn't contact via sms anymore cos honestly I could not get over the truth that she is attached now. She said why I sound so harsh, she is ok to keep in contact which makes me very confused. At the back of my head, I am thinking if she really loves me or wants to keep me cos of the monetary items I have been giving her all along even after the break up last year Dec. I just wanna seek ur thoughts - she knew I am married in the first place, so she should know the outcome eventually..prior to the breakup, she admitted that she is already dating someone which makes me very upset. Some of my frds say that she got no wrong in doing that but some begs to differ saying that she betrayed me. Ur views on this aspect pls.

I always go soft whenever she texts me, I forbid myself from texting her but she tends to text me once in every 2 days telling me that though she is out with the new bf, her mind kept thinking of me and she compares me and the bf. She will even text me emojis with those loves, hugs, misses and etc. She really mind fucks me well and ya I must admit I am stupid and silly but love is really blind.

I did initiate a divorce last year May when my wife found out that I have gone for a short trip to Montigo cos she saw my passport. I told my wife I no longer have love for her, she then goes crazy telling me to stop saying the word "divorce" and threatened to jump. She kept emphasising "u wanted to be with her", I will go to her house and tell her parents about this matter. Again, my ex has ever warned me that the parents cannot tolerate this humiliation if my wife is to go to her hse. Tbh, I'm really in a dilemma. I have read ur comments, I did tried to salvage my marriage right after my ex left me by asking my wife to go for a short trip next mth. During the cny period, again I tried to get back the feelings with my wife but in vain. My mind is all about my ex..sigh..

Yesterday night, I went gambling and my ex texted me saying that she missed me and all. Hence, I date her asking her "shall we go to faber peak again for dinner", she replied ok but no sex. Deep down my heart, she accepted my date isit cos she feels oh this silly guy wants to give me money again? She should know there is no free lunch in this world..she shld know everytime we meet surely will have sex..i dont know why she still wants to meet me..i thought going into an open rs with the new bf is what she wants all along but how come she still accepts my date. Initially when she left me, i kept texting her and she tells me dont msg me anymore cos she wants her new life. Havent 2mths, she is alrd texting me and when i didn't text her, she will say u isit dont want to msg me anymore. Im very confused.

[VOGS]

Btw, I did told my real life frds about my rs and yes most have said the same thing as u. That's why I decided to share into the thread instead cos all my frds kept saying aiya you only likes the good sex and cb nia what. Then say things like our age hor we shld think how to make more money, u wanna fuck, pay only, model also can get, why go into this unnecessary stress and makes urself so unhappy. Ok, I know I am childish, stupid or whatsoever, 37years old liao why still so immature.

I have been thinking these days too, do i really love her or isit cos of the good sex where she could give me. Out of 100 times of breakups, 98 times, I begged her not to leave me in the past. Haha, yah, like a dog, I know. Thru out these 4yrs being with her, every time there is the outbreak of a quarrel, i dk is cos of her imbalance issue or whatsoever, she tends to be violent by hitting, kicking, slapping, punching me. And, when i say can u dont always resort to violence. Then, she will hit herself, bang her head on the wall, drinks shampoo, cuts herself...despite of her doings, i am still so obsessed in her till today. There are too many things which had happened thru out these 4yrs and it's very difficult to share over the forum. She asks me why i love her? I said i guess u r not like those shallow gals whom will hide their real self..i feel happy whenever I am with her, shit, the more i type the more confused i m feeling..

Perhaps, it's just me whom is still living in denial and in my own fairytale world..i did plan for "our" future back then when we are tgt....in reality, i guess she knows it will nv happen..and i know it will not happen too..

And yes, i have always thought she confirm outside meet other guys since she is so hyperactive in her social media world and is always seeking attention by her selfies and all, as such i went for fl so that i will feel btr in reliving myself..but actually, i did not feel relieved..and am hurting myself even more..

[dcfv]

I am married.

My first real FB was all sex. I was much older, and yes I wanted her obsessively. Still i think it is just a sex thing, so I could let her go emotionally (i was found out). She was a beauty, a student, and though she is still young -- she has made her $$ through her business acumen (I suppose) having been featured in the news and looks like she living a life of ease and luxury.

I was old before, but now I like a senior citizen, and as stupid as ever, got involved with a girl even much younger than the first. She is ang mo and attracts so much attention wherever she goes with her height and looks. Different culture and her world revolves around her phone (such a generation gap) -- Instagram etc is definitely a challenge.

I read the posts, it resonates with me. Now my emotions is so involved, I cannot extricate myself. Sex is not just sex. It bonds.

The rational thing is to get out but I cannot. We kinda threaten each other on breaking up because this will lead us to nowhere.

It is such a brain fuck. what is wrong with me ? I do not know what is real...

sorry I am just ranting away.