MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

You were also saying that it is not possible for your 1st girl to be with you

Now suddenly you don't feel the significant age gap? like marrying your daughter?

Also, why do you need to ask for her father's blessing and he gave it happily when he's still unaware you have broken off? Your story now don't seem to click leh..

Reason is simple. The dad knew we are "faen" (he even used that to refer to me when I called him in the past) but he did not know how serious we are, at that time. And he also was not aware that I had been visiting her regularly, cos she was afraid to tell him.

Now we have agreed that if we are going to re-start anything at all, we should let him know and I can come visit her officially with his blessings. And if I do help her with money, he will also know so that he doesn't need to wonder anymore. So I asked him for his blessings for us to become "tiraks" (yes I did use this word) and be closer than we were before.

We are taking our time in this new journey and want to give each other a lot of time and space to ourselves and see how things go from here. For other bros who prefer to throw mud at me, it's OK. It is my life and I alone must walk this journey. It is so easy for ppl who dun know exactly what I have gone thru to generalise and pass comments according to your own believes and experiences and that is fine. End of the day, I will reap what I sow, good or bad. For now, I am comfortable with what's happening my life, and I am happier to know I have at least chosen a path where I can be comfortable with myself. That is enough for me.

Should there be any significant changes, I may post them here again. Otherwise I am choosing to get on with my life, and I will accept the consequences of my choice, whatever they might be. Adios.

[Sinoview]

Bro Free,

It's so dramatic....

From what i read, I think you are such "romantic" a person that you give compliments and "loves" away too easily and openly. When you're with one, you see nothing but the all "good" side that person and "throw compliments" like there is no tomorrow....

You are such a good writer that me as a reader can feel your "love" and move along with you. All those words you put on the u gal was beyond a normal person can see from his or her partner. Then you surprised us by changing your position. From the U gal to Rain. But you managed to convince us by your "colourful" compliments of her characters and your "love" for her son. It's really amazing. I'm was impressed.

Then so quickly you change your position. From a loving romantic man which I see you, you begin to "cover up" for your "sudden" and unexpected decision. Total 180deg reverse opinion on the u gal. The points you have made on her of not been compatable to you now seem gone with the wind. You started bringing in the father which i think got little or no weighting to your decision into the picture. Your "love" for Rain and her son are also gone so suddenly.

It's really like a "love" story written by a professional writer out to convince the "world" to buy his book. If that is yr objective. Congratulation...you have succeeded.

Is just unbelievable that the "nice and colourful" words you put on your so call "love ones" just come and go like a storm. Not once....not twice..... I believe many more to come in your life.

So when you going to change your position again is everybody guess.

Good luck.

[free]

Originally Posted by Sinoview

Bro Free,

It's so dramatic....

From what i read, I think you are such "romantic" a person that you give compliments and "loves" away too easily and openly. When you're with one, you see nothing but the all "good" side that person and "throw compliments" like there is no tomorrow....
:
:
So when you going to change your position again is everybody guess.

Good luck.

Dun mistaken me. Never at any point have I said that neither of the gals I have loved are not good, though both have faults just like I do. Both are very nice women and if we had broken up at one point of relationship, the reasons are many fold. Yet none (as far as I can honestly tell) are due to the lady having another guy in her life or I have found someone new while still dating one gal.

Rain is a real wonderful woman, and I will say it out LOUD one more time. I do appreciate her many good qualities, especially her honesty, and is really a good mother. She could have played KC, but she would not. If she had been a bit more responsive (more like the way her own mother treats her father), I would have hung on to my choice, for she would make a wonderful wife, provided I can take her rather emotionless response to most things. But that unfortunately is NOT how I am made , being a romantic guy by nature. If you can. think of how tough it has been for both of us in just this one area - By being my natural romantic self, I irritate her often (cos I like to snuggle up close), and being her naturally unromantic self (dun liked to be kissed or hug cos feel claustrophobic), she frustrates me. All our quarrels when we have them are over this ONE single issue. The reason why we both came so far and tried so hard is simply because we saw so much potential in each other as a spouse. Too bad these potentials shall remain untapped. There is nothing to cover up. And there is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact I will be in BKK next week, and I shall be visiting her and her parents, and especially the little boy I had loved (and still do). We are still friends and why not?

Dancer is also wonderful and beautiful.The reason why we broke up was she could not take the pressure of being attached (at the time) with all the gossips and she was being held to ransom by her own cousin who kept threatening to tell her father about the seriousness of our r/s. He had assumed that we were dating but not serious as he did not know I visit her rather regularly, as she was afraid to tell him. So she decided to remain single (verified by my own personal friends who lives around where she lives). That was why we could still remain good friends (w/o any intentions of reunion) after our break up.The root of her problem was her fear of her father's disapproval of her having a serious r/s while still in Uni. That her father keeps telling her to "study 1st" (although he did not say she cannot be my Faen) added to her pressures. Only after our breakup, did she realise that my love meant more to her than she thought, and she was miserable w/o me.

That was why the 1st thing I did this time round was to seek her father's blessings myself - to take the pressure away from her. My views on this are very different from many bros. To me, the parents endorsement also means they will try their best to protect the r/s (evident in my case with Rain). Also, the responses I am getting from her parents when I call them about once a week is certainly different than before. They now approve of me (having known me for 1.5 years) and have accepted our r/s, More imptly, her dad told her of his acceptance himself.

Dancer has matured much during our 6 months separation. I also had helped her prepare for another future r/s with someone (whoever he might be) by sharing with her lots of things that Rain did for me to "tam hai man jai" where she made sure I have little or no worries that she is flirting around behind my back. Ironically I am now reaping the benefits of what I told her, for she is actively doing these things for me.

Rain and Dancer are in different positions and therefore I have to respond differently. Rain is at a point in her life where she is ready to settle down (so was I) and that was why we had moved so fast (probably too fast) and did not have time to realise our critical areas of incompatibility, as we had talked about so many things and have the same view on almost all of them. Yet our little bit of differences (but fundamental ones) stopped us in our track.

Dancer is still in final year Uni, and therefore is not in a hurry to get married. We had talked about the future but it is not something in the immediate horizon. In fact this time I told her I will give her at least one year after graduation to experience the world before we even consider marriage (if we even get there), and it obviously was a relief to her In the meantime, enjoy ourselves together.

I certainly dun look forward to changing positions, but then if it comes, let it be.

I am fortunate that I have met and known 2 lovely women and they had also shared a part of their lives with me. Maybe I could have chosen any one of them and worked hard to make the r/s work, if I really have to. But I am a person where being myself is important and I have not wish to spend life with someone I cannot be comfortable with.

Who the final partner will be I dun know yet. maybe I will never find one. I just hope that it will be Dancer, cos we know we love each other, no matter how impossible it seems to some people. But no guarantee still,

[delifrance]

Hi Free

you say you are romantic. My post addressed to you in the other forum is not an encouragement or to demoralize you.

many folks have said that they are romantic, I see a different view: one's need to give love so that one can receive love. We are humans, we love to have someone loving us, popularity, fame, etc. How we go about getting it is up to us. This can be an Achilles heel for many.

Regards

[free]

Originally Posted by delifrance

Hi Free

you say you are romantic. My post addressed to you in the other forum is not an encouragement or to demoralize you.

many folks have said that they are romantic, I see a different view: one's need to give love so that one can receive love. We are humans, we love to have someone loving us, popularity, fame, etc. How we go about getting it is up to us. This can be an Achilles heel for many.

Regards

Bro Deli,

Nope, u did not discourage me at all. If anything some of the things u said helped me clarify my own perspectives and I thank you. I am first a giver - it's in my nature to give, before I receive. However, I no longer want to give without receiving a fair amount of returns, especially after my 1st failure where I had been giving for years, but still she's never satisfied.

After my recent experience, I do see some things differently. Even my r/s with Dancer has changed somewhat. I now put my expectations from the r/s out in the open and asked her to do the same. Discussion in process. Dun want anymore guesswork, so that there is less stress. Also I am not planning things as detailed so there is more room/space for all parties. Bro Thaivistor had the same advice me, so I think I am getting it more right this time.

Disclaimer: I am not guaranteeing everything will work out, cos I dun know. Living each day as it comes and enjoying what I have now.

[DNAT]

Originally Posted by Sinoview

It's really like a "love" story written by a professional writer out to convince the "world" to buy his book. If that is yr objective. Congratulation...you have succeeded.

Is just unbelievable that the "nice and colourful" words you put on your so call "love ones" just come and go like a storm. Not once....not twice..... I believe many more to come in your life.

Bro,

life is so 'dramatic' ... hahaha

[free]

Originally Posted by siamboy

Continued from here:
http://forum.sammyboy.com/showthread...591#post556591

tirak99
Registered User
Posts: 177
(8/26/04 1:53 pm)

Disclaimer: I'm leaving this portion of my post here. Some words or sentence may be harsh. You got to accept it. I don't see any wrong on that. This is not sammyboy forum or TGH forum. Only Bro Bahnoo and Bro 88max deem the right to remove it.

I have the right to express what I feel. I just don't like our posts here were being unscruplously abused in sammyboy forum. This is the fact what had happened in your r/s. It could be partially true, but you can always defend yourself against our post. I had removed this temporary post to cool down the situation. I do value our friendship (You and me).

If you think I had accused you (wrongly) on the SIM card issues and the TGH forum ID. I'm pretty fine with that. Only you and I knew the whole stories (exchange of series of sms within that couple of days). Giving reasons like "busy" is totally unacceptable. Next time, if you want to drop me an email. Please write straight to the point of the intention and don't go round the bush.

I do have to apologies for my poor command of english cos I'm not born locally. So far, Only Bro 88max, Bro Bahnoo, Bro dargonfly75 are awared where I'm from.

chok dee na krup.

Edited by: tirak99 at: 9/1/04 3:46 am

Yomun, my little boy. U are such an ass***e, and have nothing better to do but to go pick up some outdated thread, trying to highlight issues that has already been resolved between the parties concerned. calling u a kaypo is a gross understatement.

Do you think I have nothing better to do than to be at tirak88's beck and call, to give him back his SIM card at the time convenient to him? U think I borrowed his SIM card? Goondu! I did him a favor by topping up his card so that it will not expire. And since his next visit is in Oct, there is plenty of time to pass it back to him. Tirak88 and I are on good terms, and when we have time, we do meet (like last night). So what are u trying to do? U live your life and and let others live theirs. U talked like you're god in SB Forum, and can condemn and attack anyone u like. Fact is u are nothing to me.You are nowhere in my eyes, no where near the likes of ThaivisitorYour past bitter experience shows thru in so much of what u do. For me, I may be sad somethings had to happen, but then I have no need to be bitter. Nor the ladies I have loved. When it is all said and done, I think I have lived a fuller life, and experienced much more. What experience do u really have? Cheonging I know u got. What else? In how many parts of the world? What have you done that can be of something to be proud of in this global economy?

U can say what u want. I will share what I experience. I dun need to pre-plan anything I post simply cos I have to be afraid of being flamed. And by the way, I dun have tirak88's email address and also sms is not my usual style of communication. He could have simply left a voice mail for me.

For your information, if you are getting cheap thrills out of this saga, I am sorry to let you know that what I do with my life is not in the slightest way affect by your efforts. Sorry, no more time to entertain u. Rather spend time on my work and my Dancer + ppl that deserves my time more. Have fun. The kind of thrills u seemed to enjoy are rather cheap to me.

[thaiboy]

Bro free.....the best is keep your r/s story closed door dun post on forum, wat for?? i dun understand y u post on forum, to get more attention? To show u are great lover. i really damm blur???

[free]

Originally Posted by thaiboy

Bro free.....the best is keep your r/s story closed door dun post on forum, wat for?? i dun understand y u post on forum, to get more attention? To show u are great lover. i really damm blur???

Well, when I started in SB forum, I shared more because I knew there are others like me who approach a r/s in a way that is different than most cheongsters. After all, I am but a cheongster who has retired from the scene. You can say I have become jaded. And also that being the 1st time I got emotionally so deep with a TG, I wanted to of course find out more. Little did I realise that there are people who held so one-sided views, to the point it is almost a passion for them to whack down every r/s, even those that could progress as per normal r/s, except it is long distance in nature.

Boasting of being a great lover? I have never said that and if anything, I play down sex in my r/s, cos it is not THE need for me, even though it is still a need, cos I am a human after all. But my ability to abstain is better than most. There are many reasons why I would pursue a r/s and sex is not impt to me at the early stage. So a great lover I am not. I dun have much conquests to boast of, nor am I interested to do so. I have not had countless gals like some ppl, cos I tend to stick to the same person if I can.

It has been a good lesson in life - to get to know ppl who have great balanced views and also to read about some who hold really strong views on certain areas, literally to the point of obsession. I wonder what these guys will think/act if one day day they ever meet with the gal of their dreams. Will they throw the baby out with the bath water, or will they recognize her for who she is, and take a different course with them? I wish them well.

Having gone thru what I have, I still find that I am able to a large extent hold on to my views as to how I see the TGs that I dated (not TGs in general cos I do not know enough to generalise). Of course I do recognize that many stories I heard in SB are also true, having seen some for myself and even experienced a few over the years since 1989.

I have since discovered other LOS-oriented forums where the marjority orf the members hold more balanced views, be they Thais, Asians, Westerners, male or female. Our outlook on r/s with the opposite sex is global. My idea is to live life,for I dun need to cheong to in order to live. I have no wish to fight senseless battles with some ppl in SB, cos there is really nothing worthwhile in fighting with these few ppl. In the end ecerybody loses, and I am no fan of lose-lose situations. I wish all well, especially those who think that they have "won" for I pity them. There is so much to life with a woman friend (TG or otherwise, tirak or peun) but these people dun seem to see it. I for one have many platonic relationships with many lady friends. My span of friends ranges from condemned prisons in jail to govt ministers, and I treasure everyone of them. One of my best friends has been behind bars for 20+years now, and I am not ashamed to be seen visiting him. End of the day, we have been together for 35 years now. That to me, is friendship.

One of my regrets is that I have never managed to get to know you, having met you together with our mutual friend only once. Hope the chance still exist in future. Maybe I can look u up in BKK. Wish u well in your business.

Take care. Thanks for all the nice occasional advice you have been giving me right from the beginning. I have never forgotten them. I will continue to learn in my r/s with the one I chose, as best as I can. Ater all, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by thaiboy

Bro free.....the best is keep your r/s story closed door dun post on forum, wat for?? i dun understand y u post on forum, to get more attention? To show u are great lover. i really damm blur???

Ah Charn, you are back. hahaha

Cross-fire better conceal and cover. If not later kenna shot.

hahaha
SC

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by free

EDITED DUE TO TOO LENGTHY
Take care. Thanks for all the nice occasional advice you have been giving me right from the beginning. I have never forgotten them. I will continue to learn in my r/s with the one I chose, as best as I can. Ater all, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Dear Free,
Many bros gave you advises. You said you never forget their words of advises. But 1 thing you definitely forget. Your hand type "you never forget", but you never really managed to remember to apply them in life.

Bystanders see the whole picture clearer.

Remember months back, I "challenged" you to post your story in sawadee forum? Eventually, after a while, you did, though only recently. The people in sawadee are there in thailand for how many donkey years. They are very experienced in thai culture. I leave the rest such as Deli, 88Max, BahNoo, HuaNgoo to tell you what is right n wrong. And they did.

Real Friends are those who dare to tell you off when you do something wrong. Bad Friends are those who do the complete opposite.

Now the ball is in your court on whether you can accept what they say.

SC

[MrDevil]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

In my opinion, what siamboy did by plagiarising the postings from another forum over to here is wrong.

If he wants the public to judge and see what is fact and fantasy, he could instead put a link to sawadee instead. This I think no one will have any complains.

If one person wants to post in a public forum, he must understand what he wrote is readable under the public eyes. The motive of posting is to let others read and be open to the idea of what others reply. Good or bad POV, the others can choose to reply back

SC

Fully agreed with you on this. How different is this from spreading rumours base on hear-say without knowing the real stories and full details behind? Regardless if the love stories of bro free sweet or sour, it's his journey and his life. As an outsider and reader, we could have our opinions and critism but dont we got to spare a moment to consider the feeling of the one getting the hit? I bet siamboy wont wish someone posting his sad story over here too.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by MrDevil

Fully agreed with you on this. How different is this from spreading rumours base on hear-say without knowing the real stories and full details behind?

Errr, actually its different. Rumours are baseless and not the truth. While the story is actually posted in SAWADEE forum.
Like I said before, its wrong to plagiarise without permission from the authors or the forum owners. What siamboy should really do is to post the link instead and leave the rests to read and judge.

SAWADEE FORUM LINK

Siamboy can even create a nick in SAWADEE and speak his POV, then I think no one will have any complains. And definitely the SAWADEE gang will not mind too with the sudden increase in their bandwidth being used.

By plagiarising over, many people see no head no tail and could not really make out what is being said. Others like MrDevil might also think its rumours.

Also many other brothers in love problems with their TIRAKS can go over SAWADEE and read at the stuff being written. Lots of inputs, discussions esp the puying part. With the in house residents such as 88Max, HuaNgoo, BahNgoo, Deli, it sure is a very good read if you look at the postings.

Maybe you guys think I TOKCOK too much, but its my views afterall.

PS: Heard MAGIX not bad.

hahaha
SC

[GiddlyGook]

Not on any particular side. Tried to follow the story; man is it long. I've never seen anyone deconstruct/dissect a relationship so much. Can someone post a summary.

What was done was not plagiarism. Certainly not good netiquette (but only from a bandwidth perspective because a repost is a no-no). Plagiarism is when you take someone's words and present them as your own. The poster did not do that. His posts (or re-posts) indicated who the source was.

If you post in a public forum, by definition, you cannot expect privacy.

[thaiboy]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Ah Charn, you are back. hahaha

Cross-fire better conceal and cover. If not later kenna shot.

hahaha
SC

Ah N** you back also huh, let them shoot la...long time never kana liao