The most rejected person around

[BlackerKnighter]

TS Bro, if you don't mind me saying you don't need a special someone, just a shrink. Go see a specialist and get it sorted la.

Don't mind me drag out this slightly old thread oso la. I some time feel like you but not so serious. Everybody does. Like me now a bit oso lor.

I feel that if you are too kind and nice people take you for granted and take advantage of you.

I am the chin chai and generous type so things like open bottle or birthday presents I never hesitate and never think too much but sometimes you find how come all this so very one-sided huh?

I am not complaining and I am happy and ready to give and share but really some people take you as idiot. Worse still they think they are so clever and up there and you don't know. Fuck la, people are not blind or stupid right?

Maybe I should just be more calculative lor. If you treat someone as a friend it is a mutual thing. The friend has to treat you as one oso ma. Sadly in life this is not the case.

When they have a use for you they make use you shamelessly. When they don't need you it's bo chup. I don't think you need people around you all the time and friends all have separate lives but at least whether people treat you as sincere or not it's obvious.

Play counselor to people when they break up but when they find a new KC whore they treat you like invisible. Pay for their drinks when they poor but when they got new friends to cheong with they pretend like you don't really know them when you bump into each other.

So what for leh? Why fucking bother??

I oso don't know. Friends in need are friends indeed. I have no problems helping people out but a bit of reciprocity and appreciation lah! maybe I should just be more selfish. Would it make a big difference? Again I donno lor.

True friends. not so true friends. That easy to draw a line? In the end every person is an island. You get Gfs and BFfs still the same. You think girls (and esp whores) are the only ones to take advantage? Think again hor!

If you are too kind and nice to people you end up feeling like the sore loser. So maybe the trick is to be a bit more protective of yourself. no need to take advantage of any cunt in return but just guard your interests a lot more. Coz in the end maybe it will still turn out to be the same. And at least you will have more time, money and self respect left for yourself.

Apologies for rant.

[NewandLost]

Braddah, SG society not for the weak. Braddah, I suggest you focus more on what you can gain than on what you can give. All dealings including personal mostly zero sum game in SG society these days braddah.

[TSO2]

If u r indeed a nice person that ur friends think you are,then u just need to be confident in urself again.
Self pity words like "most rejected person around" doesnt work.

maybe u can do well getting some bros from sbf out for drinks to give u some worldly advise! ur treat of coz!

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by BlackerKnighter

True friends. not so true friends. That easy to draw a line....Apologies for rant.

Bro BlackerKnighter. not a rant, that's a good post.
You are right.
君子與君子以同道為朋，小人與小人以利為友
同道为朋 齐肩为友 = 朋友

[BlackerKnighter]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

同道为朋 齐肩为友 = 朋友

Hi Bro,

Terima Kasih for your point lah (thanks to bro Slider the other day oso)! Nothing to repay back so just TCSS a bit more to entertain lah.

Anyway, figure it's Friday and XMas coming so relak and lepak a bit oso good leh.

My point to TS Bro is just that people will always take you for granted, take advantage of you and take you for a ride. It's just human nature. Even your friends. So if you have that kind of attitude like how come my kindness not replied every day your life will be a living hell.

It's your ridiculous expectations that creates disappointment. No need to be a prick but be a bit realistic lah. And must chiao kor your own interest sometimes too la.

As you grow older esp if no partner your friends dwindle. So unless you are practical about things oso a bit hard. You can't buy love with a whore and you can't buy friendship with generosity.

Generosity is a two-way sword. It makes you useful in eye of others and maybe help bargain for some company but free riders oso learn to leech from you in every way not just money. Where to draw the line is difficult. Especially when you are chin chye like me.

in the end maybe all about usefulness? After all, husband and wife are oso useful to each other, right?

I really dont mind giving and sharing but some 'friends' oso a bit too much.

Got this call from a 'friend' the other day. since last three calls oso same I know what to expect. Open mouth bedek TCSS a bit and then drop the bomb. He needs a favour and he expects you to do it for him NOW.

Once is okay. Twice oso. Three times you raise eyebrow by the sixth to seventh time you want to give up. It's not that I purposely want to be 'nice guy'. I just find it hard to be pai lang. Everytime I forgive and forget coz just my nature but on a bad day you think this kind of people not pai say kind then how?

I give a more interesting angle. This same fucker oredi got bad rep among people. Many people oso bitch about him openly and behind his back. I always think aiyah kawan kawan forgive and forget so always defend him la.

There is this couple that openly go around badmouthing saying he this and that and I can a bit understand coz he did take them for a ride. But then hor recently become like best friends again wor how !! You know why?

Because they work on some lobang together... So bitch bitch bitch but in the end they are the same. You scratch my back I scratch yours. he make use of them but they oso make use of him.

I not in their same business circle so have no need to make use of that 'friend'. friend what, I thought, need to go there meh?

Really make me open my eyes and squeeze brain juice a bit lor. So this is it leh. This is human at its best...... 'Friendship'........ sinking ship more like?

I think back further oso funny la. Not bitter or what. That couple not my friends just once a while meet while cheonging pub kind but I remember few years back when I kenna some shit from an affair gone wrong and my user 'friend' oso tua chwee told them about it (caught red handed by all of them kind so hard for them not to ask oso la) and I remember they were conveying their "friendly concern" a few times.....

Concern my ass la. Don't need them to be around coz just acquaintances but were they "concerned" enough to even ask when the shit really hit the fan? Even my buay kan King of User friend, was he ever around?

In the end I realise they were all just kaypoh. They just wanted gossip fodder that's all. It's like people gawking at an accident. Doesn't mean shit.

when you fall you fall, alone. Who are these people? Just bystanders.

In life, most people around you will just be bystanders. It's yourself or no one else at the ultimate door. I like friends and socializing and I am very generous with gifts, bar bills etc but that is just one aspect of life. End of the day your own house affair still need you yourself to settle.

This I learn time and time again the hard way. People can be so fake. Whether 'true' or 'false' friends, the difference is only a matter of degree. And I will gladly pay money just to see how keh keh they can be.

Not say I don't have better, truer friends but things happen so just weary in the end.

At least I will never be disappointed, just a bit sad sometimes like today lor. How come people like that lah?

TS, there are positives and upsides to take away from your experiences. It's just whether you want to or not.

Maybe some day some one will change the way I think. But maybe not. I will still be generous and loyal but it has come to a point where I expect nothing back. Better not think of a spare tire you can rely on but be disappointed. Just be prepared that there is none.

Haha maybe a bit cynical and angsty but that's how things look to me. My longest ever lor sor post oso...damn........ Today is Friday. I am not complaining because there are plenty of jugs to be purchased later yeehaw!!!

[bestfucker]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

Bro BlackerKnighter. not a rant, that's a good post.
You are right.
君子與君子以同道為朋，小人與小人以利為友
同道为朋 齐肩为友 = 朋友

Hi bro, thumb up for your Mandarin Well said

[sleaguepunter]

Bro TS, nobody here can tell u why u r not loved by everyone around you. Maybe u shd reflect on yourself and see where u gone wrong. Nobody ever admit of his/her own faults.

remind me of a attached personnel to my reservist unit. He came when we already into our 4th ICT. First two ICTs, most of us are friendly with him, after that it went downhill all the way. Till the end, he dont understand why the almost the whole platoon, riflemen,sgts and PC all tulan him. i basically ignore him by the third ICT he attended together with us. The last ICT which was the MR ICT, everyone ignore him, take photos without him. He complained to one of drivers who happen to sleep next to him who in turn laughed in his face. Why nobody tell him why everyone dislike him? i dunno but i felt all are 30yos adults, things no need to explain like a kid. All his talk and actions turn ppl away from him and yet he felt he did nothing wrong.

As for the female colleague u have, it nothing strange. To her, u r just a ah mat. Why shd she care if her ah mat is sick or not, she is more worry if there a ah mat available to send her home. Why she treat other better than u, i dunno, maybe u sway lor.

and dun treat everyone u know as friends. friends no need a lot, a few will be more than enough. friends are not meant to have fun with, friends are those who suffer together with you. maybe that y i had only few friends..hm..........

[Shocking_vibes]

Originally Posted by sleaguepunter

Bro TS, nobody here can tell u why u r not loved by everyone around you. Maybe u shd reflect on yourself and see where u gone wrong. Nobody ever admit of his/her own faults.

remind me of a attached personnel to my reservist unit. He came when we already into our 4th ICT. First two ICTs, most of us are friendly with him, after that it went downhill all the way. Till the end, he dont understand why the almost the whole platoon, riflemen,sgts and PC all tulan him. i basically ignore him by the third ICT he attended together with us. The last ICT which was the MR ICT, everyone ignore him, take photos without him. He complained to one of drivers who happen to sleep next to him who in turn laughed in his face. Why nobody tell him why everyone dislike him? i dunno but i felt all are 30yos adults, things no need to explain like a kid. All his talk and actions turn ppl away from him and yet he felt he did nothing wrong.

As for the female colleague u have, it nothing strange. To her, u r just a ah mat. Why shd she care if her ah mat is sick or not, she is more worry if there a ah mat available to send her home. Why she treat other better than u, i dunno, maybe u sway lor.

and dun treat everyone u know as friends. friends no need a lot, a few will be more than enough. friends are not meant to have fun with, friends are those who suffer together with you. maybe that y i had only few friends..hm..........

hi can u give some examples of why everyone hated him by the end of the 3rd ict?


It's hard and almost impossible to have everyone love and like you. I guess it's also the same for the opposite or actually much easier but still it says alot about that person.

[sleaguepunter]

Originally Posted by Shocking_vibes

hi can u give some examples of why everyone hated him by the end of the 3rd ict?

It's hard and almost impossible to have everyone love and like you. I guess it's also the same for the opposite or actually much easier but still it says alot about that person.

He was not from a combat unit, but he sway kenna kick to my armour unit. Even if he had no experience in a combat unit but basic skill of a AI trooper had to be there as he went thru armour conversion course in order to be entitled to wear the black beret.
Even lack of knowledge is ok, but givng eye power when the whole lot are suffering is a great sin in my eyes. We had to set up vehicle camo net within a fixed time for the evalution. Mind u it not a simple job even with the full strength complement and we r anything but full strength. Can anyone imagine troopers struggling with the camo net (mind u it not light in weight) yet this farker just stand there and look.
Like i always believe, chao keng is not a sin but to back stab in a no no. There was once he kenna arrow to do some fatigue but this farker try to deflect the arrow to the downgrade personnels who were already overwork by the CSM. And he stupid to make that remarks in front of some of the platton mates who feel it wrong. To us, siam arrows is ok but dun shoot others.
Attitude when outfield also no good. First never share food but expect others to share their personal ration with him. Reservists always treat outfield excerise like some camping trip, so most would dump the combat ration and eat only food brought themselves. His farker just take and no contribution. One time two time still can accept, but cannot be everytime.
He also get the platoon in trouble with other 2 platoons. Somehow he manage to lost his dummy law tube outside and that the only law tube the Bionix had. So borrow a spare law tube from another platoon and refuse to return upon RTB because he insist that was the orginal law the Bionix had in the first place. A big woohaa until some of the other platoon troopers threaten to strike him that he return the law tube. He later complained to PC & OC about the threat but everyone including us denied knowledge.
And the above r just the few of the deeds he did during the course of 7ICTs. Want to talk big better be able to produce when the push come to shove.

[SadLoser]

Thank you so much for all the contributions of advice and sharings. I have been reading some of the advice repeatedly. Just didn't had time to rely sort out my thoughts until prob this holiday season... I have also posted my problem in some other forums before, but i think i received some of the most heartfelt advice here. It's ironical that i got the best advice for my emotional problem from a sex forum... ...

[SadLoser]

Originally Posted by sleaguepunter

Bro TS, nobody here can tell u why u r not loved by everyone around you. Maybe u shd reflect on yourself and see where u gone wrong. Nobody ever admit of his/her own faults.

and dun treat everyone u know as friends. friends no need a lot, a few will be more than enough. friends are not meant to have fun with, friends are those who suffer together with you. maybe that y i had only few friends..hm..........

Bro i understand where u are coming from... I know that usually the most unpopular person would have no idea why he is turing people off.

I have had encountered such scenarios before. At my previous workplace, there was this guy whom everyone would deliberately "siam" him when going for lunch, and specifically leave him out for any gatherings after work.
He had this habit of shooting off his mouth, and sprouting the most inappropriate comments at times, and probably inevitably offended many other colleagues.
I guess he meant no harm and probably had no idea his actions was putting people off - as such, he didn't really felt left out and continued wanting to join in the crowd even thou we were avoiding in rather obvious ways.

[Shocking_vibes]

Interesting thread wow i wonder if TS has felt better ever since.

[RealEstateGuy]

Brother, SG society is competitive, fast-paced, and pretty much a dog eat dog zero sum game. I reccomend that you get accustomed to living like an adult in SG society. What you desire you are not going to find here brother.

[singapore.camel]

Bro TS, it's not the end of the world.
In life there will be always up and down. Do remember that whatever goes must come down and things will never stay down forever.
On fine you are sure to see the daylight.
Please don't feel rejected!!!

[simsim87]

u hardly ever find true friends in your life. at most 2-3 nia..most will juz come n go at different stages of ur life. so dun wry bro, nth wrg wif u