Absence of local support group for herpes (incurable)

hi there,

i was diagnosed with herpes infection 2 years ago and have been trying to live with it. It's incurable (although vaccine studies are underway) and frankly, i have fears and depressive thoughts sometimes that any future girlfriend would reject me and i would have to live alone for the rest of my life.

i've searched online for support groups or dating sites for herpes infected people and most of these forums/sites are international with zero/few locals or they expect you to pay USD to use the "contact other user" functions.

I hope to get to know more local people and i wish there was a local online support group. i hope to form a little network with singaporeans, something like a support group.

so if you wish to help or you have friends who are diagnosed, please reply or pm me.

thanks.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by isdhunn

so if you wish to help or you have friends who are diagnosed, please reply or pm me.

thanks.

In the US, it is estimated that about 30% of the population are infected with Herpes type 2 and 85% with Herpes type 1 which can also infect the genital region.

Similar figures are found in most major cities in the developed world.

There is no reason why Singapore should be any different.

With the promiscuous lifestyles that single Sinkie girls lead in this day and age, any girl that you meet has a high chance of already being infected. However, since herpes is aysmptotic in most people, they are unaware that they are carrying the virus.

If I were you, I'd just carry with with life and forget about the infection. As long as your outbreaks are under control, you should have nothing much to worry about.

[dirtbag_26]

Similar figures are found in most major cities in the developed world.

There is no reason why Singapore should be any different.

With the promiscuous lifestyles that single Sinkie girls lead in this day and age

with how eager they are for non-Singaporean cock, not only should the percentages here be similar, the actual strains of virus should be identical!

[Red_Tirak1099]

Originally Posted by dirtbag_26

with how eager they are for non-Singaporean cock, not only should the percentages here be similar, the actual strains of virus should be identical!

It might surprise you that in the US condom usage in percentage terms is higher than in Singapore......Singaporeans are still "uneducated" when it comes to this basic rule

[Sweet Trip]

Originally Posted by isdhunn

hi there,

i was diagnosed with herpes infection 2 years ago and have been trying to live with it. It's incurable (although vaccine studies are underway) and frankly, i have fears and depressive thoughts sometimes that any future girlfriend would reject me and i would have to live alone for the rest of my life.

i've searched online for support groups or dating sites for herpes infected people and most of these forums/sites are international with zero/few locals or they expect you to pay USD to use the "contact other user" functions.

I hope to get to know more local people and i wish there was a local online support group. i hope to form a little network with singaporeans, something like a support group.

so if you wish to help or you have friends who are diagnosed, please reply or pm me.

thanks.

Hi,

Just saw your posting. I was diagnosed with HSV 2 as well in Nov 2007 and NGU too (but cured already). I was quite devestated as I am married with a one year old kid and we do have plans to have another kid in the near future. When it comes to engaging FL, it has always been protected vaginal/anal sex but unprotected oral. I suspect I contracted from a WL in Jakarta recently.

I informed my wife but I told a white lie saying that it was three years ago before we were married, when I engaged a GL pros, since the HSV 2 virus are asymptomatic. My wife took it better than I had expected but nevertheless is disappointed in me and from time to time, this haunts her and will start lecturing me.

Now that I have HSV 2 (but thankfully nothing else), I have to move on with my life. Several issues are still weighing down on me: Will I pass HSV 2 to my 1 year old kid, through kissing, sharing of utensils etc? Will I pass the virus to my wife? What about my future kid? Will this episode put an end to my addiction? (Yes it is an addiction like drugs) knowing that now that I have the second worse STI (being incurable) and that HIV is hard to transmit when it comes to protected sex or even BBBJ (although with HSV 2, chances are higher during outbreak because of open sores), how do I deal it with when there's an outbreak (I do not have any outbreak yet), how will it impact my work and social life etc.etc.

Yes, it will be good to have a support group in Singapore, it is timely as there are many aticles in the Straits Time recently citing STI are on the rise in Singapore.

When it comes to your case. Being single and about the possibility of finding a gf/wife in the future, ironical to say that it is a good litmus test to see whether your partner will be able to look beyond your past and believe and accept that you will be faithful to her going forward. Everybody makes mistakes, it’s a question whether we will want to learn from it, that’s the key and your partner should accept this reason, and the rest is really up to you, to fulfill that.

God Bless.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by Sweet Trip

virus to my wife? What about my future kid?

Chances are your wife is already infected. However, like most people, she is probably asymptotic. The only way to know is for her to do a blood test.

Most children are infected with herpes type 1 from parents and relatives. It is a very common infection and is passed on via kissing. Type 2, which usually infects the genitals, is seldom transmitted to children unless the type 2 virus manifests itself on the facial area.

85% of all adults are HSV1 positive and 30 to 40% are HSV2 positive.

[Sweet Trip]

Thanks for your concern. She has gone for the blood test and thankfully, she has turned out negative. Of course, of greater concern. will she get affected especially when we both intend to have a second kid. Risk is always there but chances are lower when there is no outbreak. Therefore, for now, I am trying to understand my own body reaction when there are symptoms of outbreak e.g. tingling sensation at the gential area etc.#

As mentioned, it will be great if there is a support group as we can learn from each other here since i feel that most of the doctors themselves at DSC clinic cannot offer full practical advice as many of them are not really specialist themselves.

[gobal100]

i myself also have herpes. i also don know when and how i get it as i got it discover in 2005 got a blister and so pain need to see docotr and they refer me go DSC then come the shock in my life that it can't be cured for the wart u use nitrogen can be cured but not this. i really feel bad for it. i already married last yr also don know how to tell my wife abt it. so scarced. really we should don know wat we can do.

[stuartcummings]

had it for 5 years and the biggest biggest problem is simply guilt and stigma.

if you think of it in another way, it's actually pimples growing out of place. doesn't kill (not if you get the wound infected) and it's shared by alot more people than they would care to admit.

besides, personally, i had grown to know its triggers and signs over the years. just avoid certain food or even mood (stress and anger triggers mine) then it will stay away as your body grows its own resistence over time.

thanks Sweet Trip... and those who have replied...

i really regret my past actions, i didn't think about the consequences. My gf is really hurt by it, i've told her how i got it and all.

i hope there will be a cure or vaccine out soon.

about the local support group for herpes, i have started a little forum at
Singapore Herpes Support - Aimoo Community

it's just meant to be a group where people with herpes can share their experience and live with better information about herpes, outbreaks, transmission etc.

Originally Posted by gobal100

i myself also have herpes. i also don know when and how i get it as i got it discover in 2005 got a blister and so pain need to see docotr and they refer me go DSC then come the shock in my life that it can't be cured for the wart u use nitrogen can be cured but not this. i really feel bad for it. i already married last yr also don know how to tell my wife abt it. so scarced. really we should don know wat we can do.

hi global100, i think you should tell your wife, it's better to let her know so that transmission of the virus can be minimised, for her health's sake and for your children.

Do read up more information about herpes and talk to your wife. There are some sites which advise you on how to tell your loved ones. Here's a link to a useful handbook dealing with herpes issues, pregnancy, making adjustments, telling partners, transmission and treatment.
Westover Heights Clinic
And it's free and you can download it.

The main thing is you have to tell her the facts about herpes and have a discussion. There's still a way to live normal lives with herpes, although both of you have to take some precautions, especially when you know you have an outbreak coming. Let her read the guide book too.

Don't put yourself in further situations where you might catch another STD or harm yourself. It's not worth it, especially when you have a family now.

[shchen]

I believe the below web site Herpes Cure for the STD Genital Herpes and Cold Sores may help.

Wish you all the best.

I don't think there's any absolute cure for herpes yet, it's better not to put your faith in so-called natural cures advertised on the internet, because they're out to make money.

Just don't engage in more casual sex as having herpes increases the risk of getting HIV and AIDS, and might spread to others during outbreaks.

Right now, tests are currently going on for a herpes vaccine in the United States. It's potency and whether it can prevent further outbreaks is still being tested. However at this stage, it only works for females and only up to a certain percentage of reduction. There are some reports that it might be available in 2008 but still pending FDA approval. Do google if you want to find out more.

[chong82]

Originally Posted by gobal100

i myself also have herpes. i also don know when and how i get it as i got it discover in 2005 got a blister and so pain need to see docotr and they refer me go DSC then come the shock in my life that it can't be cured for the wart u use nitrogen can be cured but not this. i really feel bad for it. i already married last yr also don know how to tell my wife abt it. so scarced. really we should don know wat we can do.

wah cb i die liao, i also got ulcer on my penis skin, but i dun dare to see doctor.

[Papaya]

Genital Herpes, like said earlier is common in many countries, esp if u had a few gfs or few one night stands ... even without commercial sex.

There has not been much support group or medical studies on it as it is not life theatening.. u just need to threat it when outbreak happens.. and not hving sex when outbreak comes.

i suggest just live life as per normal and deal with it when outbreak comes. Some will see outbreak often but it will be less as the years come as ur immune system will improve as it deals with it more.

dont be too worries over it.. its like oral herpes, actually both HSV 1 and 2 cirus is so similar even under microscope, just that one prefer the month, while the other prefer the genital areas..

those with type 1 dont even recall ever having a outbreak in month or anywhere else .. by 50 years old, 70% of the population will hv type 1 positive in most countries... u get it by sharing food and a normal kiss and most gets it when they are younger (baby to teen age)