Chitchat Yucks! Girl shits on nightclub floor!

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East Asia Tribune
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Singapore nightclub evacuated after turd discovered on dance floor
By East Asia Tribune - March 22, 2016 38458
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A popular nightlife venue in Singapore’s centre was evacuated last Saturday night after an unpleasant discovery was made on the dance floor. According to a report by a local Singaporean media outlet, clubbers at the venue were horrified to find that fecal matter had been deposited on the centre of the crowded dance floor, sometime around 2:00 AM.



The shocking discovery of a fresh turd was confirmed by a statement on social media from an account believed to be linked to the venue’s management. “Following analysis of the sample, which was found in pristine condition, we conclude the perpetrator is likely female – or a male who was wearing a skirt.” Management went on to note “[the offender’s] diet appears to be relatively unhealthy, including a lot of fatty, fried foods.” CCTV footage of the club did not reveal any clues about the identity of the culprit, but there was one female customer seen leaving the dance floor and rushing to the bathroom shortly before the discovery was made. “Inspection of the toilets revealed a further two samples that matched the dance floor deposit.” One further sample was later discovered in an unclaimed purse inside the cloakroom, which has since been destroyed. “It was an expensive purse, but there was no way you’d be able to get the smell out of it.”

The social media post attracted hundreds of comments from users in neighbouring countries, with the responses ranging from disgust (one reader from Malaysia commented: “This is absolutely filthy! People must not go to nightclub if they are not toilet trained!”) to understanding (an Indonesian netizen wrote: “Sometimes when you’re caught up in the music and the dance, you lose your inhibitions”). Others speculated that the phantom pooper may have simply been the victim of over-consumption of alcohol, and not been able to pass through the crowded dance floor in a timely manner to reach the bathroom. The club’s management declined to comment on speculation that over 200 bottles of champagne were sold during the course of the night. “All that money wasted on drinks,” wrote one Singaporean netizen, “only for one silly girl to go and poop them out everywhere.”


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