Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[BJstreet]

Originally Posted by etsys

To keep it going....

Thanks for sharing

[holasta]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

......
The priest smiled and answered.
"You're in China now son......."

"THIS IS HEAVEN,"

"so it's a local call’.

😃

Hahahahaaaa this is funny!!

[saltwet]

看的懂吗？

有三个男人死了─一个是大色鬼，一个是守财奴，另一个是同性恋。上帝跟他们说：“如果你们可以在一个星期之 后，通过考验、改掉你们的坏习惯，你们就可以上天堂。”于是三个人就开始接受考验。

第一天，三个人一齐走着走着就遇上一个绝世美女，那个大色鬼就咻一声地消失了。剩下的两人都很害怕，很小心 翼翼地走下去。日子一天天的过去，直到最后一天，地上突然出现一张千元大钞，守财奴马上弯下腰去捡，结果两 个人都咻一声地一起不见了。 

[Neoguri]

Originally Posted by saltwet

看的懂吗？

有三个男人死了─一个是大色鬼，一个是守财奴，另一个是同性恋。上帝跟他们说：“如果你们可以在一个星期之 后，通过考验、改掉你们的坏习惯，你们就可以上天堂。”于是三个人就开始接受考验。

第一天，三个人一齐走着走着就遇上一个绝世美女，那个大色鬼就咻一声地消失了。剩下的两人都很害怕，很小心 翼翼地走下去。日子一天天的过去，直到最后一天，地上突然出现一张千元大钞，守财奴马上弯下腰去捡，结果两 个人都咻一声地一起不见了。 

hehe! kan dong le.
zhi si wo de dian nao mei you zhong wen da zi ruan jian hui fu ni.

[Zeith]

Originally Posted by BJstreet

Thanks for sharing

Points returned

[BestSolarPower]

Originally Posted by saltwet

看的懂吗？

有三个男人死了─一个是大色鬼，一个是守财奴，另一个是同性恋。上帝跟他们说：“如果你们可以在一个星期之 后，通过考验、改掉你们的坏习惯，你们就可以上天堂。”于是三个人就开始接受考验。

第一天，三个人一齐走着走着就遇上一个绝世美女，那个大色鬼就咻一声地消失了。剩下的两人都很害怕，很小心 翼翼地走下去。日子一天天的过去，直到最后一天，地上突然出现一张千元大钞，守财奴马上弯下腰去捡，结果两 个人都咻一声地一起不见了。 

A leopard will never change its spots hehe

[Neoguri]

Originally Posted by BestSolarPower

A leopard will never change its spots hehe

守财奴被操屁股了！

[SBMEDSUP]

Love to read more nice jokes.

[BJstreet]

Happy Saturday

[malaysiapig]

Huhuhuhu, I am going to be the PM soon 🤣🤣🤣

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[gloryana]

Originally Posted by malaysiapig

Huhuhuhu, I am going to be the PM soon 🤣🤣🤣

Go go Jack Neo!!

[Hurricane88]

You will love this:. An annual lexophile competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original word creation. This year's submissions:

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

[absoluticeberg]

This is brilliant! Here’s some of the others:

Did you hear about the guy get fired from the orange juice factory because he couldn't concentrate?

What do you call a snooty felon going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but he turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


A horse walks into a bar...the trainer says, "Next time, jump"

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.

Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered.

Running out of sausage is a busy pizza maker's wurst nightmare.

He arrived late at the party to find he was beaten to the punch.

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

You will love this:. An annual lexophile competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original word creation. This year's submissions:

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for the nice jokes.