Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[esteban]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Yes agreed no way to hit jackpot twice or even once.

[DuaLipa]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and more wrinkled.

Because he was so impressed, man decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue. He approached him with the greeting “How”.

The Memory Man replied, “Diving header in the six yard box!!

Wow amazing jokes! Thank you so much.

[bigbentower]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

CB jokes day...
]

Really this is not a joke! I wished!!

[phequac]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Haha time to relax

[xesuzuki]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Great share, Happy Good Friday too!

[sammyrocks]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Happy Good Friday

[etsys]

Not mine

Enjoy

[DeborahNguyen]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

The Memory Man replied, “Diving header in the six yard box!!

Maybe he is a Liverpool supporter

[rawboy83]

Originally Posted by ah rat

.....................

good stuff bro.

[Hurricane88]

More covid-19 jokes...

[Hurricane88]

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."

The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."

The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."

The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.

Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"

Share with your friends, don't laugh alone 😜😜😷

[hornyvb]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

That's the way!!

[Hurricane88]

Jokes of day...

[etsys]

BE CAREFUL IN SUPERMARKETS!!!

My wife and I went to buy grocery. Of course, we had face mask and goggles on, to be safe.
When we got there, wow, there were too many people.
Scary !
I decided and pulled my wife to go home cos we might even catch CoVid there...
But, contradicting me, she wants to let go and doesn't want to go home!
Oh my goodness!
I really dragged her back to the car.
In the car, she ignored me and is angry...
When we arrived home, & remove face mask... I realise
She is not my wife....

BE CAREFUL.
SAFER@HOME....

[Hurricane88]

🤗As we are all locked down at homes, let me run a Management Course Training for you guys.
🤩Lesson 1 of 5
A man is getting into the shower as his wife is getting out, when the Doorbell rings. She quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. She opens the door to Fred, the next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Fred says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, she drops it and stands naked in front of Fred.
After a few seconds, Fred hands her $800 and leaves.
Wrapping herself in the towel, as she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks: 'Who was that?'
'It was Fred the next door neighbor' she replies.
'Great!' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
😜Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders (and Management team), in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

🤩Lesson 2 of 5
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
As she sat in the car, she could not help but reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
He removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak'.
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
😅 Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

🤩Lesson 3 of 5
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie pops out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish'.
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.
'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world'.
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life'.
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up', the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'.
😅Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

🤩Lesson 4 of 5
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
😅 Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

🤩Lesson 5 of 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
😅Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
END OF TRAINING😅😅😅😅😅😅STAY HOME
STAY SAFE🙏🙏🙏🙏