Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

Buruhan was a very dull boy. His peers called him "chikopo".

When he was in a Muslim school he got the following results:

Maths = 2%
English = 5%
Science = 0%
Social sciences = 1%

He was taken to a government school and got the following results;

Maths = 0%
Eng = 1%
Science = 0%
Social sciences = 0%

His parents were very disappointed but still decided to put him in a catholic school. The First term Buruhan passed and was the first in the class .
Maths = 90%
English = 93%
Science = 95%
Social sciences = 89%

His parents could not believe it. They asked him how he managed to pass and he said;

*"when I saw a man nailed on the cross, I knew that these teachers don't joke with students here"*


😂😂😂
_The fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom._ 🙏🙏🙏

[Hurricane88]

This one is too good... 😜😜😜

👇👇👇👇

*Gujrati Patel* : remove your clothes.

*Wife* : Why Remove my clothes?

*Gujrati Patel* : Just do and come beside me on the bed.

*Wife* :Okay they are off.

*Gujrati Patel* : Nice sweetie. What about your bra and panties? Remove them also.

*Wife* : Please I am not in the mood.

*Gujrati Patel* : Just remove your panties and bra and stop all this your everyday "not in the mood story"!

*Wife* : Okay they are off. What's next?

*Gujrati Patel* : I just want you to help me count my money. Every time you help me count the money while your clothes are on, I find cash is short. 😄😄😆😆😅

[LuckyBird]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

This one is too good... 😜😜😜

👇👇👇👇

*Gujrati Patel* : remove your clothes.

*Wife* : Why Remove my clothes?

Have a nice day

[Hurricane88]

Wife served breakfast to Husband. Along with that, she gave a tablet also and said : " Take this *Paracetamol* after breakfast."

*Husband* : " Why ? I don't have fever."

*Wife* : "OK, then take this *Digene* "

*Husband* : "Come on ! I don't have even gastric trouble."

*Wife* : " Ok, take at least *Pudeen Hara* You will have an immediate relief."

*Husband* : "My dear, my stomach is perfectly OK."

*Wife* : Oh, but you must take at least *Combiflame* Any pain in your hands or legs will disappear in no time."

*Husband* : " Are you crazy ? Why so much of care and concern for me all of a sudden ? Thanx darling, but I am totally fit, fresh and energetic."

*Wife* : " Ve....ry good ! Now take this broom and clean up the cobwebs from all the rooms and then clean up the loft also.
😂😂😂😂

[cricketeer]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*Wife* : " Ve....ry good ! Now take this broom and clean up the cobwebs from all the rooms and then clean up the loft also.
😂😂😂😂

Bro H88, your jokes fantastico. Thanks for sharing.

[amoz]

Very nice thread. Thank you for posting so many nice jokes to share.

[KirkbyTG]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Chee bhai.

[Vladivastack]

Originally Posted by cricketeer

Bro H88, your jokes fantastico. Thanks for sharing.

Fully agreed with you on this.

[phamtrucktroi]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Wife served breakfast to Husband. Along with that, she gave a tablet also and said : " Take this *Paracetamol* after breakfast."

😂😂😂😂

Very smart wife LMAO

[WaveTeam]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*"when I saw a man nailed on the cross, I knew that these teachers don't joke with students here"*


😂😂😂
_The fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom._ 🙏🙏🙏

Wahahahaa this is funny!!

[Hurricane88]

Two Pakistani politicians
Sharif and Shahbaz moved to London where they made friends with a English guy named Paul.

They used to go all over London with him when suddenly one day ...
Paul disappeared.

The two went to the police and lodged a complaint.

The police asked them if they could give some vital clues about Paul that would help find him.

Shahbaz said, "Paul was handsome and tall."

The police said, "Most English men are like that. Give us something specific."

Sharif said, "Paul had blue eyes and was very fair."

The Police said, "C'mon guys, lots of English men are fair and have blue eyes, give us something specific."

Sharif and Shahbaz said, "Oh yes ... now we remember ... Paul had two holes in his ass."

The policemen get really interested. They said, "Now that's something very specific, but tell us, how do you know this? Have you guys seen the two holes in his ass?"

Sharif and Shahbaz said,
"No we haven’t actually seen the holes, but wherever we went out with Paul, everyone used to say ... ..."Here comes Paul with the two assholes!"

😂😂

[Hurricane88]

*Retiree Joke*

Four retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says,

*Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents*. They look at each other and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a Martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced Martinis - shaken, not stirred - and says, "That'll be 10 Cents each, please."

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with thebartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please." They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.

They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a Dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve Martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"

"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer - it's all the same."

"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, *They're retired Singaporeans, they're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price*.
😂🤣😂🤣

[LuckyBird]

Camping here for more jokes

[diputs1269]

Laughters bump for weekend, cheers!

[Hurricane88]

Friday the 13th jokes...