the 3 that changed me - Page 59

kittymae · #**871** 14-01-2013, 09:18 PM

That certainly was a harsh wake up call attempt.
Rest assured. I won't be complaining or,posting the likes after this.

Call it escaping if u like.
Or taking the easy way out. That's what T does usually- take the more convenient way out....maybe this time I'd like to do the same instead of fighting.

I guess as T reads the last few posts maybe he's unhappy I'm 'Confiding' all this publicly. Angry maybe.
After all, I could sense his exasperation, maybe even some impatience and unhappiness in his last replies.
If he is...den so be it. It will just go down as one of the things I'm not being understanding about....

Put it in perspective, I may not be in his shoes, feeling what he feels, I can never know adequately.
But passively waiting for time and things to sort themselves out will only prolong the time of pain, not just for parties directly involved, but for those indirectly involved too, like me.
Don't get me wrong, by actively doing something doesn't mean rashly taking actions. Rather than saying I dunno, examine the situation, determine what really is.
example 1: when with K, I would always go down to his workplace to meet him before heading off together for dinner or whatever plans we had.
Now, I still go past his work place every damn week cos I attend some classes in the same building. I do feel sad. Bt I established I'm sad because of how things turned out with him.
Example 2: when with Ethan, because he stayed near me, we ended up meeting at places near where I lived. And I still pass by these places everyday, I do feel upset, but I also established the reason why.
In both cases, what do I do? Avoid these places? Let that sadness overwhelm me? No, I search inside myself on why I feel like that. It isn't lays easy like with K, where I wondered if I still had feelings for him, but realized later it had died off after...
Then I find ways to make those places seem pleasant again.

On 4th Nov, T accompanied me to the park connector,where that one particular incident I wrote about that happened with Ethan occurred.
Then we were still in the fren stage.
By bringing T there, I recreated a different type of memory, a more positive one if not perfect. At least the next time, I'd,have an alternative memory to recall when I,go there again.

I'm not advocating my methods, but I'm just,trying to illustrate in part why I got upset..

And then, I wonder how much really do some men understand of women. Wy is it they tend to,choose,those,that invariably cause them or give them pain? It is some kind of prove of masculinity to be able to "endure the torture"? Perhaps men are really from mars and women are from Venus.

In the last conversation, T said he can tell I'm upset.
Then? So? Full stop. It ended there.
When a woman is,upset, she just wants to be held, doted upon, feel loved. Logic will not work at this point.

When a woman is hurt, is upset and cries, and pushes u away, she really just wants u to stay. No matter what she says. Yes, we are contradictory like that at times, I admit.

When a woman chooses not to probe too much into ur affairs, and offers u all she is able to, never turning u down, it is because she trusts u and wants to please u with everything she has and is.

When a woman seeks for time, a future with u, without any mention of a title or Status, she is may appear foolish, but it is proof that she loves u for who u are and not what u are.

When a woman bears a smile, act nonchalant when u bring up the all ur exes, a part of her heart cracks inside. Because she wants to be the only woman u'll ever mention.

There is much more I could say...but time is running out.
Summary of Women 101 that is straight forward enough even for.....goats? I hope.

Hypothetical question for the bros:
If u truly cares for someone, and u know of the possibility she may leave u,even though she feels e same about u too.
And if she leaves, u may never see her again- cos she is leaving for country for eg.
But, at the current moment, due to a situation, these immediate few months/time being u can't offer or promise her anything.
What would u do?

Choose from below options (do say why too if possible)
A) end everything with her and let her go.
B) accept ur situation but enjoy what time u hve left with her, then let her go
C) work to change/improve ur situation. If succeed, then ask her to stay
D) don't do anything about ur situation. Let it work itself out. But still ask her to stay
E) work to change/improve the situation, at same time ask her to stay
F) don't do anything about ur situation. Let it work itself out whilst enjoy remaining time together. If succeed then, den ask her to stay.

---------

I wish I were a guy.
Then I can effectively compartmentalize and not be so bothered.
Suffering from that bloody migraine still.
And yes, withdrew symptoms are terrible. I have to hold back till I'm home den I can cry to my hearts content.
I shld be exhausted. But it's the zombie that's taken me over...

I'm waiting for the "I told u so" now...

If I do ever post anything again. Hopefully it is good news
Else....it was certainly nice knowing one and all...

--------

FYI, if it were me, I'd hope he would choose E.
Because, it satisfies my female heart that he does want me.

I'd be sorely disappointed if A or B was chosen.
After all, u don't easily give up on things that matter to u right? Regardless on whether u have the right to or not.
Instead, u work for/fight for the right to hold on to it.
Otherwise, I'd just feel like something recyclable. Else worse, toilet paper, use and throw away.

P.S: Please don't try take advantage and proposition me after reading about the current situation. It's abhorrent. Besides, T is the only one in my mind (and heart) now.
And don't even get started on the physical/sexual bit, it's gonna be a tall order for most.
So don't even try.

SammyNewbie · #**872** 14-01-2013, 09:57 PM

Depends on the guy. Most guys do it fine but I cannot and am ultimately, still a boy at the age of 26 and immature in many ways.

The thing about men liking women that give them pain, I found out the answer yesterday after reading a very very long post, in short we think with our groin and what we see, more than with our heads and our better judgment.

A/B sadly for me, because I respect the girl and her decision, but also due to a lack of courage >.<".

I'll make a phone call up to Big G for you. I think I still got his number though we ain't talking. He seems to like answering favourably for non personal requests. Keep asking for 4D and ToTo and just kena alot of funny stuff from him. XD

BernardFrosty · #**873** 15-01-2013, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyNewbie

Depends on the guy. Most guys do it fine but I cannot and am ultimately, still a boy at the age of 26 and immature in many ways.

The thing about men liking women that give them pain, I found out the answer yesterday after reading a very very long post, in short we think with our groin and what we see, more than with our heads and our better judgment.

A/B sadly for me, because I respect the girl and her decision, but also due to a lack of courage >.<".

I'll make a phone call up to Big G for you. I think I still got his number though we ain't talking. He seems to like answering favourably for non personal requests. Keep asking for 4D and ToTo and just kena alot of funny stuff from him. XD

Quote:

Originally Posted by BernardFrosty

Took a long winter vacation and a break from SBF and so much happening here. Things had taken a turn to a darker shade firstly on the physical side the on an emotional lvl.

Doesn't matter if it is a white cat or a black cat. As long as it is happy cat, then it is a good cat right ?

Sssggghhhh...sometimes the chemistry with certain people are just like drugs. The kinda adrenalin and euphoria around them is just so addictive. You just want to keep increasing the dosage to re-capture the feelings again and again.

Once the dosage is withdrawn, the kinda cold turkey just puts you through hell and there are no mind control over it.

Think of the bright side...after a cold turkey, you would either be cured and even small dosages are gonna give you the highest elation !!!

....is that even a bright side ? Sorry...dunno what will help.

Per my last post, think Kitty is a drug that had given T some of the best sex he ever had. Hard to let go yet diff to keep. Committal problems yeh ?

Decisive person will go with A & B.

Lalang the D & F loh.....easiest way out.

ac171 · #**874** 19-01-2013, 03:20 AM

Your Goddess is here so you cannot be dead! Sis kitty be strong!!!

I'm not good with words of comforting but if you need someone to lend you a listening ear I am here for you.

curiouslala · #**875** 19-01-2013, 09:17 AM

Well..
All i hope is that u, kitty sis..
Have 9 lives.
So, after k, ethan, ian, and t, u still have another 5 lives in stock to make ur heart alive again..

Just find a reason y u should live in this ugly world. Ur reason might b for ur parents n family or for urself. Bcos even this world is kinda ugly, i believe that we can find a beauty n happiness inside it.

queeniegal · #**876** 20-01-2013, 02:24 AM

Well, by right I should nt be posting as i said before months back lol.. MIA for quite awhile lol

Just want to share some inner peace I gotten over past few months...

Everything happen for a reason.
Every ending will start with a new beginning
Letting go of something or person if it return it really belong to you if it not just don't bother.

Life is too short to dwell on.
Don't keep going round the circle it just hurt yourself further.
Do love yourself!

Take care.

bonkning · #**877** 22-01-2013, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittymae

If I do ever post anything again. Hopefully it is good news
Else....it was certainly nice knowing one and all...

steady kitty ... steady ..

deludedgal · #**878** 23-01-2013, 10:52 PM

"I wish I were a guy.
Then I can effectively compartmentalize and not be so bothered.
Suffering from that bloody migraine still.
And yes, withdrew symptoms are terrible. I have to hold back till I'm home den I can cry to my hearts content.
I shld be exhausted. But it's the zombie that's taken me over..."

I think not all guys can compartmentalize too..
it depends on the situation and on the person...

everything will b ok..