the 3 that changed me - Page 58

kittymae · #**856** 12-01-2013, 06:39 PM

while I am grateful for all the concern and comforting words...

I mentioned "time out". This is different from "did not work out"

There is no so called "breakup" in a time out...furthermore, there wasn't any defined relation to "break" from

There are more complex situations than the younger bros/sis here would be aware of....and this is one of those.

kittymae · #**857** 13-01-2013, 04:51 AM

Thks shifu...

since I can't sleep..I might as well write (for certain reasons I cannot write the following incidents outin full...)

Sometime ago, after the incident with Ethan and I was going through a rough patch, I was recalling something that happened to 2 friends of mine.
It's not always the girl that's at a disadvantage. Guys can be too. When girls employ what we call...mind games...

The guy, lets call him LY, and the girl R.
For the longest time, LY had a liking for R but R ever considered LY as a bf potential. Mainly cos of disparity in their education (she had a diploma from a local poly, and he graduated from one of the ITEs). Nonetheless, I thought LY had done pretty well for himself, getting a decent admin job in the finance sector and drawing a decent salary.

R had pretty much rejected LY and he was aware of,it, yet he would never turn her down whenever she seeked him out for companionship, even if he was somewhat,aware that she was only so-called using him.

Things changed after R introduced a friend S to LY during a chalet she organized.
She probably never expected they would get pretty close and that's when she began to employ little 'tricks' as I called them.
R began to develop an overnight interest in LY and very quickly, LY was twisted around her little finger all over again,
Needless to say, S was pretty upset and it also damaged her friendship with R.

Being privy to the matter as it was within my group of friends, we did,talk about between ourselves. And that's when other incidents involving R popped out.
Such as even as early as our secondary school days, she would develop a sudden interest in the guy any of our friends had a slight interest in.
Perhaps it was teenage hormones, or the way she proudly flaunted her assets (yes, she was never abashed even at age of 15 about her 34D boobs), that she never failed in her endeavors.
Overtime, and incidents, we gradually began to keep our distances and hold our tongues in her presence.
Last I heard, LY and R had both married other people, and no, LY did not end up with S.
I myself had also lost contact with both of them, until I saw LY walk past the M1 shop at change alley during lunch hour one weekday.

As far as I know, following S, LY saw through R and minimized contact with her, if not cut off completely. He had texted S saying he won't meet R again.
For quite awhile, LY didn't get into any relationships. But when he finally did, it was for good. I guess the experience,taught him something.
It was from this, that I first learnt about the mind games some girls play. And maybe because having seen first hand how some people have been burned by it, I resolved not to let myself go down that route.
If needed, it was only to equip myself to counter ploys set up by my own gender...
Since joining this forum, I see some bros trying to seek,insights into the females mind over some matter...if possible, I'd try to give my 2 cents worth...and perhaps LY and R has some part in influencing that, and to prevent others from getting hurt/burnt themselves.
I'm no saint. I really ain't. I'm a regular person, a lesser being.
But that doesn't mean I just sit back,shake leg n watch (ok,sometimes I do, when I feel evil or pissed enough).
Maybe it's my way of making up for myself.

The point of this post?
Maybe It's for a change....we always hear women cry foul about guys...
Bt sometimes, it's my own gender that is the guilty party.
And in this increasing gender balanced society, I see more and more of such cases happening.
Women, their increasingly assertiveness, while it is a good thing, could also cause pain, be used to manipulate, etc etc.
And this is a trend I'm seeing in the papers, online media, and even in forums...it's no longer limited to women seeking out aunt agony...

Maybe that's why I enjoy the simple things....
Maybe that's why I enjoy being with T...
We both just want the simple things....
But why...why this situation...

I wish I could tell u (yes , tell Mr.T) "I'll go to all those places with u, and remake new memories together with u. So u won't feel sad visiting them again"
But I don't have the belief in myself, the courage to hold back,the my own tears that might fall when I see the expressions on ur face. Is it ur sadness,that I share, or the pain I feel from seeing ur sadness?
Maybe one day, or,in an ideal world,,that will happen
Only if....

Gonna try to toss ard and sleep.
Wish me luck

Signing out..

alphonsus · #**858** 13-01-2013, 02:29 PM

Well said. Good sharing.

acidicavex · #**859** 13-01-2013, 10:26 PM

I do hope u get some rest kitty not or anything but at least the rest will help u along in the days to come. U will dragging yourself around like zombie mind empty or maybe playing merry go round with memories. Nonetheless do stay strong.

Have my own crappy nightmare too something came to haunt me...... Anyway take care kitty.

kittymae · #**860** 13-01-2013, 10:38 PM

Over the last 3 days.
I wondered how T was coping.
Had he recovered fully? Was he getting enough rest despite other things going on?

I even contemplated not logging in or writing, knowing T reads this.
But I needed somewhere someway to channel my thoughts. Otherwise I just might drive myself over the edge thinking too much and letting it all stay in me.
Like I said, I have no one in real life to confide in on this... Unlike with the others, K or,Ethan or even Ian..

Thinking about it, this maybe is in place of the proper 'separation' that was supposed to happen the last time.
Maybe my own stubbornness had a part to play to making it not happen then.
This time, I wonder where to draw strength from.
This time, I'm being encouraged to walk away.
This time the comments I received say to let go, give up.
Should I?
Realistically speaking, even T's confidante is somewhat skeptical.

Through this, it's been hard to find a consistent voice of encouragement of this thing with T.
I often wonder if we met the conventional way would everyone be as skeptical, and unconvinced?...as unsupportive?

With every minute that passes, I am increasingly,convinced that this how it will be eventually...
That he'd discovered he can get along well without me anyway, and that will be the end of things.

T was always skeptical about writing for the real of self fulfilling prophecy.
Although I see no wrong in speaking our hopes, our wishes, our dreams., our fantasies...
If anything, I'm perhaps tempting the greater powers that be to show me otherwise. That I am but mortal and can never predict what the future may be.

I don't just cry because of u.
I also cry for u....

For those who dropped me PMs asking for advice and such...I won't be replying to any of them.
Not because i don't wish to help or comment but...it's really a bad time now and I seek ur understanding.
I'm just a very normal person with my own fair share of problems and worries.

kittymae · #**861** 13-01-2013, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acidicavex

I do hope u get some rest kitty not or anything but at least the rest will help u along in the days to come. U will dragging yourself around like zombie mind empty or maybe playing merry go round with memories. Nonetheless do stay strong.

Have my own crappy nightmare too something came to haunt me...... Anyway take care kitty.

It started playing merry go round already..
Along with a bl*ody migraine

Coffeecans · #**862** 13-01-2013, 10:56 PM

Give each other time ba.

Only through a separation in time would both of you know if you are suited for each other.

Let time tell but for now, do move forward. Perhaps put your other goals in the priority first

I want to see the good old happy Kitty that used to smile at each and every post.

Remember, sometimes a little rain must fall. And after the rain, there would be a rainbow.

And you will find the rainbow.

deludedgal · #**863** 13-01-2013, 11:03 PM

Come Kitty *hugg* drink some milk and tomorrow is another new day...

acidicavex · #**864** 13-01-2013, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittymae

It started playing merry go round already..
Along with a bl*ody migraine

That the reason why u need to rest kitty it just going to get worse as the night get darker the street and estate get quieter it will drive u thru the roof. There is non nor much u can do now. Play merries go round isn't helping so why not try to get some sleep instead of making yourself like a walking undead?!? Easier said than done I know...... But u need energy, u need strenght, u need concentration for Tmr come another hard day to past thru.

Listen to some music type that will lift your mind off? I know it may not be your way but at least try. I wouldn't recommend my music as when I m down and moody I need those loud and crashing one like metal example like disturbed, old Metallica etc.

Coffeecans · #**865** 13-01-2013, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acidicavex

I wouldn't recommend my music as when I m down and moody I need those loud and crashing one like metal example like disturbed, old Metallica etc.

Kits, bro acidicavex has a point. Have a good sleep.

For choice of music when I'm down, I love the classic love songs. "Yi Tu Gong Tu"

SammyNewbie · #**866** 13-01-2013, 11:55 PM

You won't die! You can't die! You are mighty kitty!

Probably had a few titanium leg implants from surviving some explosions, but still a very very tough kitty!

Now got funny show about gals and love on channel 8... ummm quite funny but commercial break nao. Maybe can watch some if you cannot sleep.

I cannot recommend Celtic women music.. cause their songs are kind of a mixed bag, can sooth but disrupt your mood sometimes. Abit worried because I dunno you well enough. This one you listen, if bad you can beat or zap me lor >.<"

BernardFrosty · #**867** 14-01-2013, 11:06 AM

Took a long winter vacation and a break from SBF and so much happening here. Things had taken a turn to a darker shade firstly on the physical side the on an emotional lvl.

Doesn't matter if it is a white cat or a black cat. As long as it is happy cat, then it is a good cat right ?

Sssggghhhh...sometimes the chemistry with certain people are just like drugs. The kinda adrenalin and euphoria around them is just so addictive. You just want to keep increasing the dosage to re-capture the feelings again and again.

Once the dosage is withdrawn, the kinda cold turkey just puts you through hell and there are no mind control over it.

Think of the bright side...after a cold turkey, you would either be cured and even small dosages are gonna give you the highest elation !!!

....is that even a bright side ? Sorry...dunno what will help.

kittymae · #**868** 14-01-2013, 02:32 PM

How abt dead cat=.=
If not for work reasons I might hv just done away with phone totally..

Lotsa perhaps, perhaps, perhaps..
Maybe T will forget abt this kitty in time too

I wonder how...I wonder why...

Thanks for sharing the songs tho.

Coffeecans · #**869** 14-01-2013, 03:49 PM

choi choi choi!!!!

wat dead cat!

cheer up with this vidz ba

acidicavex · #**870** 14-01-2013, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittymae

How abt dead cat=.=
If not for work reasons I might hv just done away with phone totally..

Lotsa perhaps, perhaps, perhaps..
Maybe T will forget abt this kitty in time too

I wonder how...I wonder why...

Thanks for sharing the songs tho.

Look at yourself kitty u got beaten?? Read thru again and yes u fucking have me read thru again.

U have thru a few alphabets so what is Senario? U giving up? U escape so what the pain stay the hell with u. It is imprint u can off or buried your phone u can go to a land of no Internet no communication so?? Does the issue disappear? No it stay there and till u overcome and face it.

Do u want to give it some bitch slapping or you want be call it quit? Your call kitty u are 1 fucking tough cookie I know that in u. So show us all here u can pull thru also show whomever u can go on with or without him beside u. Of coz if and if he is there to share your joy and sorrow but since he ain't there is still people here that do. So fuck it up and face the fact running away doesn't help coz it is THERE!