the 3 that changed me

[kittymae]

before i continue, better do some disclaimer.
Like i mentioned in Part I, I wasn't some hot babe, nor hideous creature. I was pretty average.
And actually, in my time with K, he fed me so well that i actually put on quite a bit of weight- i actually hit a US Sz 10- the absolute high in my entire life. I shudder as I think of it now. K always used to tease me saying like that no one will steal me away.
I definitely didn't have the 'liao' to tempt or seduce Ethan as Sis Lala suggested..and the story continues.

----------------------------

Ethan: I broke up with her. You refused to reply me, or pick up my calls. In fact I had to try 3 days before i actually managed to catch u today. I couldn't concentrate on other things. Not even with gf. So i ended it with her properly.
Me: so my fault again lahz? because i ignore your attempts i made u make such a drastic move?
Ethan: No. Its because if I didn't end it properly with her, you would never give me a chance.

I remained silent.
This wasn't how it should be. I had surely avoided the outcome that I had with K. But was this any more better? and more 'right'?
Even if I didn't do anything much, i had indirectly caused them to break-up.

Me: But u were going to ROM, surely u should think about that. This isn't a game you can anyhow say say.
Ethan: Ya, I know. But u want me to ROM with her even if I find I had fallen for someone else?

I couldn't think of a suitable rebuttal.
something in me was also telling me to step away. that in the end, i was get the short end of the stick. again.
but i threw caution to the wind

Me: so now what u want
Ethan: would u consider going out with me? We can start slow, or where we left off. Don't have to be serious serious until u more comfortable.
Me: I don't know.
Ethan: Pls? We were friends, getting along very well until all this happened.
Me: (after a few moments in thought) ok. u are right. we were considered friends. I don't want to commit to anything. Let's just be friends as we were, and leave everything else to fate.
Ethan gives me a big smile, and attempted to hug me.
I moved away.
Me: erh, i got to go. my family waiting for me for dinner.
Ethan: (abit disappointed) oh, ok lo. I'll head back first. text u later.

Ethan and I gradually resumed our 'habit' of texting each other frequently and continued our nightly webcam chats.
I also met him often for dinner since we got off work at the same time.
Around a month after that, we became a couple, and things went smoothly for some time after that

One night while lying on my bed, chatting with Ethan on webcam, I noticed him looking slightly uncomfortable and staring at me quite a bit.

Me: what's wrong? U seem distracted. tired?
Ethan: Erm, no, not tired, but distracted, yes.
Me: huh? why lehz?

Ethan pointed to me, then to his top. Taking his cue I glanced down and turned red in embarrassment
I was wearing a new pajama set I'd bought from the Forever21 store online. A simple singlet top and shorts.
Except that while the loose singlet top was exceptionally comfortable, it was also easier to expose myself. Ethan had caught sight of not only my squashed up cleavage (from lying face down during the webcam session) but also my semi-exposed bra, and since I favored half-cups mostly, he also caught a sight of the swell of my boobs above/outside the bra cup.
I hurriedly sat up to adjust my top, but Ethan stopped me
(I should add when u have our webcam sessions, we actually use the microphone rather than typing. Like a skype session except its over msn)

Ethan: hey, can u leave it as it is?
Me: huh. but zao geng liao, not nice
Ethan: Erm, but it's sexy like that mah. it turns me on
Me: ....
Ethan: please?
Me: Ok...but don't stare so hard! :P

Ethan continued to be distracted but had to give him credit for trying not to stare.
An idea came to me..
Me: Ethan, ur webcam seems unclear. Can u adjust it abit? Check if the wire connecting to the PC loose or something?

As Ethan got up to check & adjust the webcam (thus not being able to see my screen), I quickly removed the singlet and settled down in my original position, wearing only my bra.

Ethan: ..Its seem all ok ... Oh my gaawd.

He was greeted by the sight of not just one but a pair of boobs, half encased in a bra.

Me: Good night!

And i logged off both webcam and MSN quickly.

*beep*
i received a whatsapp text from Ethan

Ethan: what was that? U make me excited for awhile then disappear
Me: haha, i also dunno. just felt like teasing u abit i guess.
Ethan: ok lo, but u must take responsibility.
Me: huh? what responsibility?
Ethan: How to sleep! U make me hard...

I was still quite an innocent then, but I had come across such terms which watching or in books etc overheard discussions between some of my closer friends.
It was also the first time I heard Ethan talking about this

Me: Then how..?
Ethan: Have to DIY lo. Next time make u take responsibility.
Me: Haha. Good night!

Acting as if I didnt see that last sentence, I put aside my phone, wore my singlet back and drifted off to sleep.

[acidicavex]

Casting concrete plints and mounting bolts. Very nice write out.

[kittymae]

Originally Posted by mr_missile

wow ts couldn't sleep and posted at 2+ am and then posted again just now at 10+ am. just hope it is not the recollection of the past bad experiences that has kept ts awake.

great writing sis. joining the campers here. anybody want a sandwich?

lols, i actually typed most of it last night when i couldn't sleep. so it was just matter of posting it

actually want to get to Part 3 fast, but there's quite abit in Part 2 soo.. bear with me!

Here's a coke to go along with that sandwich

[yawnzzz]

Not much ladies post their real life story here... I will sure mine once out of moderation... Stay tune

[mr_missile]

Originally Posted by kittymae

lols, i actually typed most of it last night when i couldn't sleep. so it was just matter of posting it

actually want to get to Part 3 fast, but there's quite abit in Part 2 soo.. bear with me!

Here's a coke to go along with that sandwich

ok sis. u sound fine though. so i guess the recollections are not the cause of your "insomnia".

coke? good idea! eh.....me old man already, better watch my sugar level. can pass me coke zero instead?

have a good weekend!

[GeMiNiZzzzZzz]

Another Sis write up in Sbf..gawd...too cool

[starystarynite]

enjoy reading your post sis...

but you are rare breed...have few bfs still manage to keep your V...haha...

pls continue...

[drslump99]

Hey kitty, u see me pressuring you or not
I never pressure u to update leh
So, no loitering in my thread please and pressure me, before I bring my psychotic outbreak over together with the Tim Sum dishes .... Laugh Out Loud

Maybe u should change the title to 4,
The 4th one is trying to sell you lots of Tim Sum
Laugh Out Loud
(Hope it is not political incorrect to say that)

[ludwig19]

Think there is no such thing as a perfect relationship or couple. those couples that are deemed 'perfect' together or for each other is cos they are contented with each other, be it wether they hv similar traits/characters or total opposites. more often than not, we are saddled with partners we cant tolerate or not contented with after the honeymoon period is over. Even the person that we marry may not be the one we truely love, that we hv to settle for 2nd best...or worse, 3rd best. its all abt the luck of the draw i guess haha. cynical? I guess so haha.

anyway very nice story sis kitty, keep them coming whenever u can

[kittymae]

Dear all,

ありがとうございます! Thank u for all the support

yawnzzz : I'll definitely drop by when u post up ur story I think there is a social stigma that makes many gals,wary of posting their stories...!

mr_missile: Lols, *throws a bottle of mineral water over* this might be healthier? So I can count on ur support till end of my story?
No, I was thinking ahead to Part 3! Already! Hahah

GeMiNiZzzzZzz: it's a good ting yea? Hearing from the female perspective.

starystarynite: I tink maybe cos was kept in 'protected society' for too long so take time to thaw...haha... But I lost out in the end..

drslump99: haha...dim sum buffet! Can I have some tea along with it? Long Jing pls!
Btw, u sure ure,the 4th? Lol...
Don't take queue no la...go update ! Oops :x

ludwig19: true. I believe everyone is a cynic but on different subjects and degrees... And of cos whether we acknowledge it ourselves... And thks for reading!

[kittymae]

Ethan did not bring up the webcam incident again as he had to return to malaysia for the chinese Lunar New Year, and was working overtime a lot to complete a project he was heading before heading home. The day he left, we only managed time for a quick dinner before he had to rush off to catch the coach.
The Chinese Lunar New Year was as usual for me, with a whole bunch of relatives coming over, so I didn't bother too much about not hearing anything from Ethan. Until the third day, when i received his whatsapp message..

Ethan: Hihi BB (BB = short form for baby). Got miss me?
Me: BB!! no worz. never... enjoying myself too much
Ethan: don't bluff, i know u miss me. I miss u alot lo. Can take a pix and send me?
Me: Orh. (snaps a pic of self, send over) i show u wat i wear for cny.
Ethan: nice! can wear for work also. more more
Me: More what? aiya, don't want lahz, I want to go shower liaoz.
Ethan: bring me along can?
Me: huh? Bring u along? (confused)
Ethan: Bring your phone & me along to shower lo
Me: haha..don't be funny. bring along for what. i shower also cannot reply to you.
Ethan: See u shower lo
Me: (beginning to understand what Ethan meant). don't want lahz.
Ethan: pls pls. remember you must take responsibility lo. for this

I rec'd 2 pix message shortly.
the first was a picture Ethan took of his groin area while sitting cross legged.
the second was the same except, there was a noticeable bulge in his shorts.

Ethan: u see. everytime i think of what i last saw over the webcam will like that lo

I turned slightly red thinking about my rash action then.

Ethan: pls pls? or can at least send me pix like what u show on webcam?

I hesitated for awhile.
It wasn't much different from taking a pix in a bikini...which gave me an idea

Me: I'm still not sure about taking pix in my lingerie.
Ethan: pls BB. dont even need show face.
Me: but, i can compromise. a bikini shot ok?
Ethan: OK!! thanks!!

Changed into my bikini top and snapped a quick pix without revealing my face and sent it over to Ethan

Ethan: Wow. next time u cannot wear bikini out.
Me: huh? why lehz? aiya, i don't go to the beach so often nowadays so no chance to wear lahz. unless go holiday lors
Ethan: Good. don't want other guys stare.
Me: I go shower liaoz. getting late (it was around 10.3pm then) u better sleep earlier too ya?

without waiting for Ethan's reply, i put my phone aside and went to take a long hot shower. Checked my phone after I finished my shower.
Messages from Ethan.

1st message- it was a like the second pix received earlier, except Ethan has stripped down to his briefs and the bulge was more pronounced than it was earlier.

2nd message- at a first look, it looked like someone had split some barley on the floor and neglected to clean it up. upon closer inspection & linking earlier pic 1,2and 3 together. i realized Ethan had sent me a pix of his cum after his own DIY session.

3rd message- "i hold back myself long long liao. when I go back, u think we can go on to next stage?" u consider ok? pls? Good night BB, muacks

I didn't reply Ethan that night. The first time in a long while.
While I was beginning to understand more of what guys wanted of girls through my experience with K, and now Ethan.
But was I ready? Would I ever be?
Or should I wait until marriage like how I was taught?
I made up my mind to probe Ethan for more answers before I decided on anything
If i could decide.

[Max80]

good write up sis!!

keep it cummingggg

[kittymae]

Days passed and again both Ethan and myself acted as if that conversation did not happen. But in my mind, I was wondering about Ethan's past relationship with his ex. Did she also accede to such requests from him, or did they go even further...?
I shook my head and told myself maybe not. After all, Ethan had mentioned he was a Christian like his ex-gf was. And i had enough Christian friends to know that the church advocated sex after marriage. This way, i assured myself it would probably be just that. no more. But out of curiosity, i thought I would ask Ethan.

One weekend afternoon, after lunch, while we were at Ethan's place (he was working on some paperwork for his part time insurance job, I was helping to fold up his clean laundry), i broached the subject.

Me: BB...
Ethan: hmm..? (obviously focusing on work)
Me: Can I ask u something?
Ethan: Umm... (i took it to be a yes)
Me: The photo u ask me take and send u, did ur ex also do that for u?
Ethan: umm.. Huh??? what? (his absent manner gone, he turned around and focused his attention on me)
Me: I said, that time u ask me take photo and send u, but in end i send u the bikini photo, did u ask ur ex to send u such photo also?
Ethan: actually... (pause for a while before continuing) at the start yah, got. but later no more
Me: No more? oh okaay.. (a sense of relief..)
Ethan: because...after that we took it a step further.
Me: (the relief that was creeping in suddenly vanished) a step further?
Ethan: (heaving a sigh) sex.
Me: ( while thinking to self- Oh shiiiit...i'm so not prepared for that) erm... but u both were Christians. Thought should wait until after married?
Ethan: Erm, sometimes in that moment abit hard to control self, and every guy got his need lo. my ex at first also don't understand. then I show her lo.
Me: show? what u mean by show?
Ethan: i demo. i promise i won't do anything. u ask me stop i stop ok?
Me: .... okie...

Ethan moved to the bed where I was seated, pushing the stack of laundry to be folded aside.
Ethan: BB, i always kiss u like that right?
Saying that, Ethan kissed me once, on the lips as he usually did.
Ethan: But I want this kind of kiss also
And he kissed me again, this time I felt something- his tongue i realized- probing, trying to slip into my mouth.
I panicked. I tried to push him away, but Ethan held on to me
Ethan: BB, trust me, don't resist and let me show u. u will also like it one. really
i nodded apprehensively
Ethan kissed me again, and this time I allowed him to slip his tongue into my mouth, touching mine tentatively.
It was ticklish. but it didn't feel unpleasant.
Seeing I was not resisting, Ethan sucked on my tongue lightly.
I was taken aback. But remembering what he said, I did not shy away, instead i responded to him my doing the same.
We spent the next 5-10 mins engaged in our first intensive kissing session, which i was to learn- called frenching)

Ethan: See, i never bluff u right, u also like right?
Me: (still flushed and feeling abit shy) yea....
Ethan: Then shall we move to lesson 2?
Me: Lesson 2?
Ethan: Ya. during just now that kind of kiss, usually got some hugging and touching also. otherwise the arms just leave like that meh?
Me: oh. okaaayyy... Are u going to teach me now?
Ethan: (laughing) of cos la, i'm more than happy to. Remember. Trust me. U will like it also
Me: okayyy..

Ethan kissed me again, and we continued frenching, I felt Ethan's hands move along my back caressing it. Taking my cue from him, I did the same.
He was obviously pleased about it as i felt him hug me tighter.
Then he moved one hand to my thigh and caressed it similarly. Again, i took my cue from him and did the same to him.
He was right. It wasn't unpleasant. In fact, I was actually liking it. Who knew a more intensive kiss would make me more sensitive to every touch of his?

Ethan stopped.
Me: What's wrong? why stop? (before i could stop myself)
Ethan: (laughing out) haha. U're really enjoying it hor?

I smacked him lightly on the arm

Ethan: Come, sit here. I show u another way to do this...

Ethan beckoned for me move over and sit infront, back-facing to him. I complied.
We started out like the other 2 times, and like before, I felt Ethan's hand caressing me, this time, my arms, waist, stomach...
Like he said, i did like it. until I suddenly felt his hand move upwards from my stomach to cupping my breasts.
I moved away in shock, pushing him away again

Me: What are u doing..!!!!
Ethan: BB, relax. Relax first ok..? (he paused to let me settle down abit)
Me: okay.. explain what was that?
Ethan: It's part of the lesson. There are some parts of the body that are more sensitive than others. So if touch there, will feel better the others.
Me: but...
Ethan: so far I got bluff u?
Me: no... but i'm always told cannot let people anyhow touch my chest...
Ethan: (laughing again) haha, cannot anyhow touch...haha.. okok, yes, they are right. its more high value area mah, of cos cannot let just anyone touch. but i'm your BB leh... cannot also? (cue the puss-in-boots pleading look)
I don't bluff u, really u will like. ok? trust me ok?

Without saying anything, i silently moved back to my original position in front of him. We continued.
This time, when i felt his hand on my breasts again, i ignored the instinct to move away, but instead let Ethan continue. He cupped them, and gently massaged them. a gentle squeeze now and then as he built up the intensity.
even through my bra and my tank top, I could feel the warmth of his fingers.
And he was right. It was beginning to feel rather pleasant. In fact, if he stopped then, i might have thrown a tantrum.
I was also vaguely aware that behind me, "little Ethan" was also starting to awaken.
Seeing that I was enjoying it, Ethan slipped his hand under my tank top and continued massaging breasts over my bra. I typically don't use padding in my bras, so I could feel his touch more acutely than before.

And then...

*gasp*





===============
off to shower. will try update as much as i can tonight as i'll be busy tomorrow.
and no, i will not bring anyone along to the shower ...lols

[Brainstorm]

No offence intended but I'm beginning to feel sorry for K. He's with you for 2 years plus and he didn't even get to french kiss you? The relationship feels so platonic. No offence intended ok... just felt that the right forms of physical intimacy at the right time is a way of bringing the relationship closer.

[kittymae]

Originally Posted by Brainstorm

No offence intended but I'm beginning to feel sorry for K. He's with you for 2 years plus and he didn't even get to french kiss you? The relationship feels so platonic. No offence intended ok... just felt that the right forms of physical intimacy at the right time is a way of bringing the relationship closer.

No worries. He did but in comparison to Ethan, he was more forceful which wasn't pleasant at all, so i chose to gloss over it when recounting the story and focus on the main parts.
One act, done differently, incites different reactions and feelings in girls.
With K, I didn't exactly enjoy french kissing it like I did with Ethan. It was like experiencing it properly for the first time when with Ethan.

My bad, I should have written it more clearly. Thanks for the feedback