I was an animal, now I'm paying for it.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by stupiderthanu

"Symptoms are unreliable", "You can't diagnose it from symptoms", "IMHO, your symptoms do not sound like they are caused by HIV".

I do not doubt the sincerity of these posts, and I know that the intentions behind these replies are noble, pure and in the purpose of wanting to calm me down, and mentally prepare me for HIV testing.

But, I'm still afraid... I really feel like I'm on the plank, forced off the ship, with a huge needle with the words HIV Testing on it.

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself to go for the test, but its still very very hard. As of now, 'symptoms' are only left with night sweats, which I also do not know the definition, to be sure of the symptom. I mean yeah, I've been noticing more sweat in my neck, head and shoulder areas, but not so for the rest of my body. Is it considered night sweats? I don't know. I don't seem to know anything anymore.

Loose stools no more, though now I seem to battle constipation. Everyday something new pops up. Twitching, that's still there. I don't know. I don't know anymore.

I seldom come to this section.

Hey Animal, stop all your merry-go-round diarrhoea fooling around with good advice from bros

Everything you don't know but know how to contact test kits manufacturer, everything you are afraid, very afraid but pull brake when bros adviced you to go for checks asap and leading people on with a hidden agenda

Originally Posted by stupiderthanu

I used to pick up trans at Changi for BJ and AJ at times. Mostly protected, but there were BBBJ towards the last few exposures.

I used to frequent GL FLs, the ones on the streets, unlicensed, unregulated. These exposures were all protected, BJs and FJs.

I used also used to go to Orchard Towers HC, BJs and FJs protected.

This happened over a span of 3 years. Never went for testing, the thought never crossing my mind.

Then all of a sudden, somewhere in Nov 2011, after quitting smoking and cheonging, I felt this sudden surge of fatigue and guilt taking over me. My last exposure was near the end of October, protected if recall correctly.

All of a sudden all symptoms appeared, loose stools, sweating more at night, feeling tired more easily, dry mouth. Some of these symptoms are happening up till now. I'm at a loss of what to do.

For the past 3 years,

I doubt got any sammyboys/cheongsters as hardcore as I was without thinking. I think that only I'm in such a predicament and as such, I square the responsibility on my shoulders alone. I am at such a loss of what to do.

I want to turn my life around, and the past few months, I have indeed been doing that. But I don't know how to and end up, sitting around doing nothing all day. I feel like leaving it all behind.

Many things you know but go for test - Don't know?
Please leave and stop wasting our time advising you

[becky80]

TS may be paranoid or what. But worry also no used face the music if is meant to be. Go checkup and ease ur mind ok. No illness but ur constant fear make u mental breakdown instead.

[5ag1_Boar]

Stop giving him attention.

[meandme]

Originally Posted by 5ag1_Boar

Stop giving him attention.

eXactly what I think so.
He just needs our attention. attention seeker.

Maybe you should seek it in the new paper. They love to report such news

[newyorker88]

Have guts to play, no guts to face the test?

I suggest you test it out before you suffer from depression or other problems due to stress.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by meandme

eXactly what I think so.
He just needs our attention. attention seeker.

Maybe you should seek it in the new paper. They love to report such news

Life is so unpredictable and uncertain that we never know what will happen in the next seconds, minutes, hours, or even days to follow. When it's our time to die, just face death and accept it. Scare this and that but ended up scare for nothing You are just like 1 mouse who sat next to me on a trip back to SG, the plane shook a bit due to turbulence and he kept whispering: We gonna die, gonna die and started praying................Really felt like slapping him.

[jurongguy1981]

TS,

It is common to have the fear of getting tested, as you may not be ready for the truth. But bro, all I can say is thinking too much and not getting tested will actually cause more harm. In fact, you will not be able to live your life fully, as there is something holding you back.

If you are really scare and lost, tell you what, PM me, I don't mind accompanying you to get tested. Nothing beats having a support.

We come to play and there will come a time we must face reality and come to terms with the truth. Anyway, the truth is not know. Maybe it is not so bad after all.

Cheers.

[peanut123]

Jeez dude, you sound so insecure. Get a grip on yourself. Just go for the goddamn test and be done with it. If it's negative, you have a weight off your shoulders and a new lease of life.

If its positive, well, you need treatment asap or you will expire very quickly. Either case, you have to get tested. So just do it.

I was once in your shoes, and I was scared. But I convinced myself that I needed to know, even more so if it might be positive since early detection and treatment can prolong your life. Late detection just means an early death. It's no different from going for tests for cancers, liver problems, and many other chronic-life-threatening diseases.

Once I realized that, I went for the test pronto at AFA. And it turned out negative, so all my anxieties were for nothing. I celebrated by crossing the road to Petain and having a bonk.

Originally Posted by stupiderthanu

"Symptoms are unreliable", "You can't diagnose it from symptoms", "IMHO, your symptoms do not sound like they are caused by HIV".

I do not doubt the sincerity of these posts, and I know that the intentions behind these replies are noble, pure and in the purpose of wanting to calm me down, and mentally prepare me for HIV testing.

But, I'm still afraid... I really feel like I'm on the plank, forced off the ship, with a huge needle with the words HIV Testing on it.

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself to go for the test, but its still very very hard. As of now, 'symptoms' are only left with night sweats, which I also do not know the definition, to be sure of the symptom. I mean yeah, I've been noticing more sweat in my neck, head and shoulder areas, but not so for the rest of my body. Is it considered night sweats? I don't know. I don't seem to know anything anymore.

Loose stools no more, though now I seem to battle constipation. Everyday something new pops up. Twitching, that's still there. I don't know. I don't know anymore.

[sammyo]

Let's go by the number. You've been doing this for 3 years. Assuming you do twice every week. That's count to 300 encounters. Assuming 10% of them is HIV positive (that's already very very big number). So, total is 30. The worse thing you did was BBBJ. Thats about 1 in 10000 chance of getting HIV. So, it's 30:10000 or 0.003 or 0.3%

The odds are favourable to you. Just get tested, chances you won't have HIV. If you're scared, just go to the anonymous session first. You may have other STI like herpes though.

[Remorse]

Bro.

U every time also protected so ur chances are extremely low! Recently I went raw and just tested negative! Should go for a test. Trust me! Ur chances of HIV is really really low!

[tungjj]

do not worry, not so easy

[stupiderthanu]

Before I start, I woukd like to thank the Almighty. The All Loving, All Seeing. All Knowing, All Forgiving.

This is post is in no way related to religion or to sway anyone into it.

I know, I'm a coward. Not proud at that fact, but God willing, I will work those issues out with myself.

An evidence as to how I'm so cowardly. Yes, one Sammyboy mentioned that I know how to contact test kit manufacturer everything, but as to how I'm so cowardly, the test kits themselves have been sitting in the corner of my room. Untouched.

JurongGuy1981, grateful to him, told me to take small steps, calming me. Once again, ever grateful.

Today I woke up and used one of the test kit.

Negative.

After CNY, I think I'm going for AFA already. Once and for all. And also regular testing till perhaps next year. Wish me luck, and I'll continue updating.

In no way am I an attention seeker, in fact, I was so afraid to post after all the 'angrier' remarks from other Sammyboys. But I must thank those who did also, cause it ultimately forced me to do this, on this faithful morning.

[5ag1_Boar]

Good for you!!!

[stupiderthanu]

Thanks.

By the way, does anyone know where is good to do a comprehensive STD test? Best price if possible.

Thanks in advanced.

[peanut123]

Originally Posted by stupiderthanu

Thanks.

By the way, does anyone know where is good to do a comprehensive STD test? Best price if possible.

Thanks in advanced.

You can do STD tests at DSC ( which is the same building as the AFA tests but during office hours ), or at any GP clinic. It is pricey, at 100++ and is NOT anonymous.

Secondly, congrats on your negative results. But if you are going to be so scared all the time and whine like a little girl the next time you need a test, I suggest you stop doing commercial sex. Frankly, reading your self-denials was really irritating. Have the guts to bonk WL with unknown sex history, then have the guts to face the consequences and protect your loved ones by knowing your own health status.

Scared, don't bonk. Want to bonk, don't be scared. Simple.