Advice on getting a divorce. I am a Malaysian.

[humpcheepang]

Originally Posted by Megatronzombie

... the last time a cooling period happened, she went and slept with someone..

It is a real sad story to hear, and truly sorry about your present state bro. By your said situation, it is better to part ways, or more sufferings will come. It is difficult to change one character. If you have no child, and she is working too, I don't think you have to pay or may just pay little for the alimony. By most, you have to sell away your present house and spilt the earnings.

Good luck bro!

[no_faith]

do wrong behind ur back, back to u still wana be bitch.
i really salute u for still able to accept her. i will ask her to fark off.
sry for so offensive.

imho, better check with lawyer firm or wif the respective garmen dept to know more.

[Megatronzombie]

Originally Posted by no_faith

do wrong behind ur back, back to u still wana be bitch.
i really salute u for still able to accept her. i will ask her to fark off.
sry for so offensive.

imho, better check with lawyer firm or wif the respective garmen dept to know more.

garment dept

[tomvoyeur]

Originally Posted by Megatronzombie

garment dept

Doubt any garmen dept will look into such domestic issue.....Looking through ur greivances, if I m in the same situation, I will choose the divorce route....If u have made up ur mind, plan ur divorce case carefully with a lawyer without her knowing abt it...What u hope to achieve here is damage limitation....Good Luck!

[Xdecepticon]

Dont know about Msian Law. But in sillypore, the bloody "Woman Charter Act" really pain in the ass and a "threat" to us Man!

[spidey69]

Bro Mega,

Hi.. really emphatise with u cos i had been thru a divorce myself.. it hurts like hell ( more in terms of emotionally, less in terms of financially ) n i took a long long time to recover..

from the few posts u wrote, it seems like divorce is the only way out.. imagine ur wife during quarrels, cooling-off periods etc can suka suka go sleep around i mean what kind of behavior is that??

as for the alimony part, u have to start planning now.. like some bros suggested, u may 1st start by safekeeping your own assets ( eg jewelry, watches, personal savings etc ).. My ex ran away with all the wedding jewelry and joint-savings.. Woman when they have a change in heart can be very very very vicious..

also since u do not have kids, u may wanna opt to pay her alimony in 1 lump sum instead of monthly.. in the way u do not not to see her again in future.

good luck bro.. i understand it is a rough patch u r going thru but trust me, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

[tungsten]

This is too much....

Seriously divorced her.

She is not worth it. There are things that is tolerable and there are things that can not be tolerated at all.

If you have doneall the things possible (in your own view) and she has not changed at all then it could be due to anyone of the reason below
1. Either you are not really interested to try
2. You lost your love for her
3. She is really a bitch in disguise as a fairy when you married her
4. She is so used to you giving in then no "shock therapy will work

If any reason above apply I would suggest a divorced straight away
1. Since you lost the interest to try, might as well end in then to suffer
2. No love... What marriage?
3. She is a bitch, what you still waiting for?
4. If her character has been totally warped, either you throw away your backbone or you leave the marriage.

Bottom line is ask yourself whether you want to carry it through despite the emotion hurt associated with divorce.

If you make a decision to carry it through then stick to your guns despite all her wailing, whining, threats and whatsoever. Any wavering of your resolve and you are dead. Life will be more miserable for you if you play the divorce card but failed to carry it through for the second time (if first time can still give chance, second is NO WAY!)

Use her ego to your advantage (I know I am mean, but if a girl wants to play bitch, we are just being forced to play bastard). Consult your lawayer friends on the best way to use the evidence to your benefit. He will know what to do if he is worth his salt.

Last and most important, please do not be stingy on the lawyer fees, they can save your ass big time.

[no_faith]

then the prob comes, wat happen she dun wan to sign the divorce papaers?

[mansgp]

Originally Posted by Megatronzombie

Dear bros,

I have had enough of my wife after 3 years...

Pls advise bros... Thanks.

I felt responsible for my decision to marry my ex-wife and suffered in silence for 10 years. To top it off, we had a son. Everyone around me kept asking me to divorce her, including my family, frens, and colleagues. She is totally unreasonable, selfish, lazy, u name all the bad points and she has it.

Ultimately, afterI was assaulted by her continuously for a few days without my retaliation, I had it. I moved out, filed for divorce, which she pleaded me to withdrawn. I managed to finally convince her to proceed as there is no love left but she begged me to withdraw all my documentary proof of her infidelities as she does not want to be embarassed. Against the advise of my lawyer, I acceded to her request in view that she is the mother of my child. Sad to say, once all these are done, she started contesting and filed for alimony. She even screamed and acted like an insane woman when I once wanted to let my son stay overnight at my place.

Bottom line of my own story is: Do not be too soft hearted, especially with woman who deserves no sympathy. Hide whatever assets or cash in banks u have. Go on and get a NEW LIFE my fren.

[LeDivorcee]

bro... i sympatise with you about your situation. My advise for you is to think carefully about the next step you want to do.

Having been there and done that... no matter what proof you have, you still have to pay alimony until the day she remarry again. Even if she agrees to be no contest, there is still the Women's Charter to think about.

I am not sure about your case since the marriage is registered under Malaysia Law, but I think the basic principle applies...

Finally, good luck to you no matter which way you decide... May the force be with you...

[newyorker88]

Originally Posted by Megatronzombie

... the last time a cooling period happened, she went and slept with someone..

Bro,
It seens that you are in real deep shit here. As for malaysia law, I dono anything. Good to have this forum where you can let out some steam. After reading thru what you have wrote and what other brothers have said. It is all up to you.

No kids involved? Makes things much simplier. Marriage is between 2 person, and when there is no love left, time to move on. Not trying to put the axe between your wife and you.

IMHO, your wife needs help. Psychological help. She still bear scars from the previous relationship( guy who rape her and abortion). I also have very good reasons to believe that her family is not as good as you think. Could be an abusive dad or mum.

Ultimately, you have to question your heart. What you want. To divorce or to put up with her.

My suggestion is that is you want to stay with her, MAKE SURE BOTH GOES FOR MARRIAGE COUNSELLING. There is nothing wrong in admitting that the marriage is on the rocks. Every couple goes thru some quarrels at times. If she wants face and dont want to admit that there is a RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM, tell her that it will get worse and both of you will suffer with no end.

If you want to divorce, be prepared for the cold hard feelings. If she threaten to end her life and so on, are you prepared for it? What you going to do in such situation? TO go ahead or not? It is all in your heart, on wat you want to do next.

All brothers here sympathise with you. Best of luck to you.

Just to side track abit, I have heard about aborted babies spirits disturbing the parents. It is up to you to go and figure it out.

[nitecrawllerr]

Originally Posted by newyorker88

Just to side track abit, I have heard about aborted babies spirits disturbing the parents. It is up to you to go and figure it out.

Hmm...i love the subjects of mystics & supernatural.

[candidfan]

1st. Inform everyone u just lost a fortune on gambling & have to repay a huge debt.
2nd. Cancel any credit cards u have.
3rd. Sell any assets u have, such as car/house on the pretext that if u do not, someone will chop u.
4th. Keep everything left over in a foreign bank a/c.
5th. Stay in a rented 1 BR apt .
6th. See how long she can stand being poor. With no money & assets, u have got nothing she wants & can hope to gain by staying with u.

Don't be a pussy, be in control. If u give ur wife an allowance everymonth, then she shld be listening to u. But if u get a monthly allowance from her instead, then work harder or let her control u for the rest of ur life.
I wonder how many of u actually go to work & tell ur boss he/she shld give u a higher salary ,shorter working hrs & longer breaks. If u don't do that, i have no idea why u would tolerate years of such abuse at home?

[1acoruna69]

All the best to you !!

[playboy82]

Originally Posted by mansgp

I felt responsible for my decision to marry my ex-wife and suffered in silence for 10 years. To top it off, we had a son. Everyone around me kept asking me to divorce her, including my family, frens, and colleagues. She is totally unreasonable, selfish, lazy, u name all the bad points and she has it.

Ultimately, afterI was assaulted by her continuously for a few days without my retaliation, I had it. I moved out, filed for divorce, which she pleaded me to withdrawn. I managed to finally convince her to proceed as there is no love left but she begged me to withdraw all my documentary proof of her infidelities as she does not want to be embarassed. Against the advise of my lawyer, I acceded to her request in view that she is the mother of my child. Sad to say, once all these are done, she started contesting and filed for alimony. She even screamed and acted like an insane woman when I once wanted to let my son stay overnight at my place.

Bottom line of my own story is: Do not be too soft hearted, especially with woman who deserves no sympathy. Hide whatever assets or cash in banks u have. Go on and get a NEW LIFE my fren.

Maybe u can teach us how to hide our assets? cos all of us had cash in bank, is it to all cash out, then all the cash keep at home?