Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

[MoeLanYong]

Originally Posted by dcfv

MoeLanYong,

While you are well meaning, like a brother commented, you appear self righteous, a bit like friends of "Job." You get what I mean ...

You lack empathy because you do not have a real story to tell where we can relate to.

dcfv,
That person has an axe to grind with me. I can't be bothered to dignify him with a response when he does not even know the meaning of Self righteousness. Righteousness is a gift and has to be apart from works, so no one on planet Earth is self righteous. He thinks I am a Pope, which is great. I have never felt so honoured. Perhaps I have reached the stage in life where I can't be bothered to be politically correct. A Trump, if you will. I prefer to just say it as it is. This is a public forum where thoughts and ideas are freely exchanged, and if people of lower intellects resort to being personal when they cannot identify with postulations and arguments, there is no reason for me to be apologetic. I don't need to smoke a cigarette for smokers to identify with me if this is what you mean by empathy. One either hears me or he doesn't. If you noticed, my comments are not for everyone. Certainly, not directed to those wasps who continue to stalk me. Aren't they childish? Getting upset with a moniker. Really?? Hahaha. This is one of my many nicks. Some bros have written to me privately to thank me. I am not looking for Thanks too. I merely have an opinion that is different. BUT thank you for the heads up. I know what you mean and I know you mean well.

[Shadow_warrior]

yawn. the preaching Pharisees goes again. only appearing in a few threads to preach his self righteous statements. Who does not know a woman is female? But how to survive the issues or make it better, that's is the battle, and a wall of words is not going to help. That's why in marriage, you have to go through counselling, separation then divorce. Its a process, of trying to mediate and see if it can be salvaged.
as I said, there are serious people with serious problems. And there are threads on this, and you can see the sadness and pain people go through in their marriage.

talking about how sinless you are, how you should walk the right path etc...if that worked, we all be in heaven. "ALL" have fallen, and we pick ourselves up from where we are. Sometimes its all about surviving till the next day

I have had my battles, hence this thread was also started by me. I have had friends who did things to themselves they regretted, killed themselves over love, taken drugs, ended up in prison, hurt the other party and was jailed- albeit the truth is they took years of abuse in their relationship and marriage. No one gets attached or married to cheat, no one gets a third party because something is not broken or working. That's a fact, the day you take responsibility for that, you will be able to change things. You can say all the mambo jumbo BS, but I have seen almost everyone at the end of the day, fight pain and pleasure. What you do is a result of that. Avoid pain, gain pleasure. That's just basic psychology.

the truth is a marriage is a combination of 2 people and people change. circumstances change.
Those in their 40s will know this. In the 20s its all about 2 people, fun holidays, passion, love. In the 30s, children, kids, money. In the 40s it hits, for some even earlier. Together for 10-15 years, things get stale, people chance, we start moving up in life, for some people, career might take a hit or one party is moving the other way.

There is a thread, do you regret marrying. There are so many men there who are identifying and finding their shoes are painfully similar. Why don't you see if your self righteous preaching works there? I see you tried, but no one is bothering with you. And You are totally wrong. Since you definitely sound like a sunday man, you need the study THE book. Its "SELF" righteousness, Pharisees do WORKS. Its not a gift. Righteousness is a gift. You don't know the difference or you don't know how you sound? Continue to think in black and white. You belong there. Its pathetic, backhand slap. You answer a bro, just to take a swipe, yet pretend you are trying to be nice. Self righteousness, in modern day lingo- FAKE. Comments not meant for everyone, hahaha, in a public forum, your holier than thou attitude is amusing

And thank you for telling everyone you have no credibility in experience or dealing with marriage issues. That's was what I suspected for a long time. Now those bros who are still listening to you are those who go to a poor man who has never made money and asking to teach them to get rich. Its not a good experience to go through life problems, and the heart, that needs to be guarded, is the real reason we do what we do. What happens when its under attack or we sense a flutter for someone else. Its easy to say Flee... but when you go home and there's something wrong at home, you tried to remedy the problems and it doesn't work. Sooner or later a thirsty person is going to take a drink elsewhere is there is a constant drought at home

[Stereo]

What happened to Eve?

[MoeLanYong]

Hehe. Hmm. Hahah. Ommm mani ommm. Muahahaha. Sorry, I umm chio. Cannot control. My bad. Trying not to laugh. Someone actually thinks I am trying to sell a religion here. Muahahaha!! Oops. Ccb. Make me laff till I stomach ache..... Nah. Still not interested in engaging. Yea, its Pope. Not parasee lah. Me Pope. Pray to me ya. Say Ohmmm mani ohmmm....er.... 3 times a day...... after food, ok? ROFLMAO. Ccb. Argue lose make me laff till peng

[Shadow_warrior]

lol thinking too highly of yourself again

these are just some of your posts before I started to mention a lack of sensitivity, and suddenly the tone changes

only the blind cant see you were running down the bros who were really sharing from the heart and talking down to them.

https://thesbf.shop/showthread...=677987&page=3
https://thesbf.shop/showpost.p...8&postcount=28
https://thesbf.shop/showpost.p...6&postcount=30
https://thesbf.shop/showpost.p...2&postcount=26

If I had a AX to grind as you claimed. I would zap you. But have you been zapped by someone who has 50 over points to do so? I know it wasn't me.
You seem to make lots of "friends" who have told you about your level of sensitivity. Another bro said to you you lack empathy and you took it as a victim and a chance to swipe at me. Lol... And that statement of bros PMing you to thank you. C'mon, bros pm me all the time over the last 15 years to thank to say all kinds of stuff. Hahaha...that you used to validate, you with 3 years on the forum.

Okay, that's all I have to say to you, Moe Lan Yong, then you should just keep it that way. For us Yao Lan Yong, that's creating problems for us, and those that don't have anything to use, well you aint in the same pool, so swimming on dry land doesn't count. Lol... okay my bad. Just some humour for the day. I am not self righteous so I don't know how to tell people to live their lives. I listen a lot better, and suggest, but I don't bash people with my views. If I do, I am not perfect. Will see to ignore your post moving forward. I wouldn't bother you with your posts, you are doing great on your own with your fan club.

[MoeLanYong]

For someone who wants to ignore me, thats a lot to write and research on! Muahaha. Not happy? Go run to pulley station. Po mata. Someone there will help u write long long story about me. Hahaha. Gin na pak elastic.

[MoeLanYong]

Anyway, lim beh want to sleep liao. Enough entertainment for tonight. Rem to write long long story about me. Do more research on me please. Find what who I am, what I selling, what is my 5 year plan. I expect to read an intelligent SWOT analysis tomoro. Nowadays why got so many see gin nas everywhere....

[pipeloner]

Originally Posted by Siriusam

I was married, had been with my wife for 15 years. Then I left her 2 months short of our 10 year wedding anniversary.

We were parents to two beautiful children, who are in their late teens now, but were only seven and nine years old when I walked out.

I travelled for work, stayed in a different hotel at least three nights a week. That’s how I met Eve*.

We got to know each other over time. We became Facebook friends. We sent messages to each other all day and night. She was also married, also had two kids. We had so much in common, we soon fell in love. I felt like she 'got' me.

This was all during a very trying time in my marriage. I wasn’t happy, I didn’t look forward to going home. My wife had put on weight, we hardly ever spoke, she always looked so miserable.

Little did I realise that I was the reason she was so down and depressed. I didn’t pay her any attention. I took her for granted. I was too busy wishing my life was more exciting, being romanced online, spending all of my free time thinking how I could get out.

I believed she didn’t love me. I convinced myself she never cared about me or my needs and wants and wishes, that all I was was a paycheck.

She spent her free time taking care of us -- our kids, making our suppers, doing out washing, making lunches, doing homework, projects, shuttling kids to sport, taking care of the pets they loved so much, their friends, and had a job of her own on top of it all.

Every time she spoke to me, all I heard was nagging and whining. But she was actually begging for my attention: a weekend away, a date night, a movie -- everything I ended up doing with Eve behind her back and after I left my family.

We argued and fought because we felt unheard by the other. And yet that was all we actually had to do – LISTEN – to each other!

I moved out of home to be with Eve. My now ex-wife got custody of our kids. I saw them every second weekend, the usual 'Dad' set up.

New beginnings

Life was sweet!

Eve and I had an amazing sex life. A connection I believed I never had with my ex. We had a large circle of friends. My family loved her. My kids liked her.

But my ex could never bring herself to meet Eve – she felt betrayed. I hated her even more! She was childish. She was mean. She never cared about me or my happiness. I didn’t care about my ex’s feelings when I posted photos of us on Facebook… I had Eve and a whole new life and it was fantastic!

We were together for about six or seven years but never married – we believed marriage was not our thing.

I believed that after 15 years with my ex, we’d given it all we could and our time together was up, there was nothing we could do to salvage our relationship or marriage. Eve was my future, Eve was who I should have been with all along.

Eventually, no matter how well we got along in the beginning; no matter how well I thought she “got” me; no matter how good the sex was; the “honeymoon” came to an end.

Eve and I started snapping at each other. Little fights here and there. I had a moment of pure realisation one night, at about 2am.

I realised that I missed the woman who created my first home and family. I realised that if I'd treated my ex-wife the way I’d treated Eve, used the hours I spend woo-ing Eve on my ex, she’d have bloomed.

If I’d stopped being negative about her and our relationship to my family and friends they wouldn’t have been so negative to her and she wouldn’t have pulled into herself and shied away.

She became someone I convinced myself I no longer knew or got along with because I never gave her the time and affection and attention she craved and deserved.

I thought I had, but when I got down and really thought about it I never really did. I never really let her in. I had ended my marriage years before with the simple decision that she was no longer who or what I wanted. And I’d convinced my family and friends the same – that she was no good for me!

Regret sets in

But I was wrong. I missed the best years of my kids lives. Missed being a family with them. I let their mother battle with raising them alone. Yes I helped financially, but a man living outside his family has no real idea what the costs are on the single mother. While Eve and I ate steaks on the weekends, my ex-wife was living on egg and toast.

And do you know that she never complained? She never demanded more money out of me. She never stopped me from seeing the kids. Never said no if I changed plans on her at the last minute. She gave up her weekends so that my mother could spend time with her grandchildren. She left me to get on with my life with Eve, even though it must have killed her.

Like any relationship, it had started out good – great in fact – but when it go bad I decided to leave… I walked out and divorced a woman who – and I can only see this now – would have done anything for me. But I’d told myself she wouldn’t or couldn’t.

My ex-wife stayed single for 8 years. She dated but never got involved. Her being single was also a kind of affirmation for me – that no one wanted her – that everything I’d decided she lacked, so did other men… She actually stayed single to focus on our children.

Too late

And then came the day she met Craig. I never thought it would bug me in any way if she got a boyfriend. I thought it would be great! But I was very wrong. I felt hurt. I felt jealous. I even felt angry and maybe betrayed.

She moved in with Craig, along with my kids. She set up a new home. A new family, with my kids… it was a very bitter pill to swallow.

I finally understood how she’d felt all these years. And it felt rotten.

I watched via Facebook and through conversations with our old mutual friends how Craig spoiled her and the kids. Their weekends were spent on the beach – he surfed with my son. They went hiking in the Burg. They went to Mauritius where he proposed on a kayak and she said yes -- they got married.

My daughter was a bridesmaid. My son was a groomsman. Craig’s parents and brother welcomed my ex-wife and children into their family. They told everyone how blessed they were to be gaining them as family.

She glowed with happiness. She radiated love and none of it was for me! My heart felt like it had been ripped out.

It should have been me.

Don’t be me. You think you will never be happy when you are in a rut. It is when you are there at your darkest that you need to grip down and try your hardest.

Today I live alone and still only see my kids occasionally. They are big now and harbour anger towards me for leaving them and their mother. Who can blame them?

Of all the things Eve was, she was never the mother of my children – my original true love."

"HOPE this helps a few marriages, Love and appreciate a Good woman".

#Allos_of_Mr_Lakusu

Pain to the heart.. I find many resentment in my marriage, similarities alighted...

Yet I’m in a deep puddle I couldn’t get myself out..

Kid is coming soon; AP might settle down with her bf soon..

Welcome back to Earth, you despicable bastard.

[pipeloner]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

bro you are not alone...

I’m not alone, yet lonely inside...

Enough ranting.

Life is all about conquering challenges!

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by pipeloner

I’m not alone, yet lonely inside...

Enough ranting.

Life is all about conquering challenges!

yes. and the funny thing is if you found no love and care in your marriage.

the natural instinct is to try to work it out. when all fails, you might eat outside, you might even be attracted to someone else

and you start that, and you realise, its the same issues as when you were married.

life is ironical, but the truth is we must find the happiness from within, not from others

if you look to not be disappointed in people, you will end up disappointed.

[dcfv]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

yes. and the funny thing is if you found no love and care in your marriage.

the natural instinct is to try to work it out. when all fails, you might eat outside, you might even be attracted to someone else

and you start that, and you realise, its the same issues as when you were married.

life is ironical, but the truth is we must find the happiness from within, not from others

if you look to not be disappointed in people, you will end up disappointed.

I like reading your posts. Please continue.

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by dcfv

I am married.

My first real FB was all sex. I was much older, and yes I wanted her obsessively. Still i think it is just a sex thing, so I could let her go emotionally (i was found out). She was a beauty, a student, and though she is still young -- she has made her $$ through her business acumen (I suppose) having been featured in the news and looks like she living a life of ease and luxury.

I was old before, but now I like a senior citizen, and as stupid as ever, got involved with a girl even much younger than the first. She is ang mo and attracts so much attention wherever she goes with her height and looks. Different culture and her world revolves around her phone (such a generation gap) -- Instagram etc is definitely a challenge.

I read the posts, it resonates with me. Now my emotions is so involved, I cannot extricate myself. Sex is not just sex. It bonds.

The rational thing is to get out but I cannot. We kinda threaten each other on breaking up because this will lead us to nowhere.

It is such a brain fuck. what is wrong with me ? I do not know what is real...

sorry I am just ranting away.

Bro. Your post sounds a lot like my situation. Sex does bond. If we were to be a bit more metaphysical. Ancient indian, Chinese books all state that sex bonds, and a woman shares energy with a man. Even the holy book says so
There is an article that states a woman gives part of herself to the man when she has sex with him. Imagine WL/FL, that's what they trade for money, a bit of themselves with each man.
They found women DNA in man.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2.../#3639723c7459

I have been with her 8 years now, while being married, we had many years of up and down. We started in our 30s and still while and now she is tamer and I am older. We have changed over the years, and accepted or accommodated each other. And that's why it went from FB/GF to little three, to now really like part of my family(external)

how long have you been with your partner? We might have a lot in common in terms of our walk in relationships

[HelloAngel]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

Bro. Your post sounds a lot like my situation. Sex does bond. If we were to be a bit more metaphysical. Ancient indian, Chinese books all state that sex bonds, and a woman shares energy with a man. Even the holy book says so
There is an article that states a woman gives part of herself to the man when she has sex with him. Imagine WL/FL, that's what they trade for money, a bit of themselves with each man.
They found women DNA in man.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2.../#3639723c7459

I have been with her 8 years now, while being married, we had many years of up and down. We started in our 30s and still while and now she is tamer and I am older. We have changed over the years, and accepted or accommodated each other. And that's why it went from FB/GF to little three, to now really like part of my family(external)

how long have you been with your partner? We might have a lot in common in terms of our walk in relationships

Are you still married? Your partner don't mind not having a proper status? What happens if she gets pregnant one day? I have frens in the same situation as you and they sometimes get these thoughts. I like to think of the unofficial relationship as something on a different dimension... nobody can judge if it's right or wrong but there will be real issues that needs a common understanding between both parties.

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by HelloAngel

Are you still married? Your partner don't mind not having a proper status? What happens if she gets pregnant one day? I have frens in the same situation as you and they sometimes get these thoughts. I like to think of the unofficial relationship as something on a different dimension... nobody can judge if it's right or wrong but there will be real issues that needs a common understanding between both parties.

hi since you are not involved in this situation, I don't think I can relate to you why some things matter and some things don't. Since you only have friends in similar situations, well you cant advice them because you have not gone through it

Proper status, doesn't guarantee happiness. Many bros posted here about being married

Pregnancy is a result of unprotected sex. That is something you can almost control. Afterall WL/FL have sex many times a day, a week with many men, surely they don't get pregnant and have to stop work.

[Xia406]

Originally Posted by VOGS

Btw, I did told my real life frds about my rs and yes most have said the same thing as u. That's why I decided to share into the thread instead cos all my frds kept saying aiya you only likes the good sex and cb nia what. Then say things like our age hor we shld think how to make more money, u wanna fuck, pay only, model also can get, why go into this unnecessary stress and makes urself so unhappy. Ok, I know I am childish, stupid or whatsoever, 37years old liao why still so immature.

I have been thinking these days too, do i really love her or isit cos of the good sex where she could give me. Out of 100 times of breakups, 98 times, I begged her not to leave me in the past. Haha, yah, like a dog, I know. Thru out these 4yrs being with her, every time there is the outbreak of a quarrel, i dk is cos of her imbalance issue or whatsoever, she tends to be violent by hitting, kicking, slapping, punching me. And, when i say can u dont always resort to violence. Then, she will hit herself, bang her head on the wall, drinks shampoo, cuts herself...despite of her doings, i am still so obsessed in her till today. There are too many things which had happened thru out these 4yrs and it's very difficult to share over the forum. She asks me why i love her? I said i guess u r not like those shallow gals whom will hide their real self..i feel happy whenever I am with her, shit, the more i type the more confused i m feeling..

Perhaps, it's just me whom is still living in denial and in my own fairytale world..i did plan for "our" future back then when we are tgt....in reality, i guess she knows it will nv happen..and i know it will not happen too..

And yes, i have always thought she confirm outside meet other guys since she is so hyperactive in her social media world and is always seeking attention by her selfies and all, as such i went for fl so that i will feel btr in reliving myself..but actually, i did not feel relieved..and am hurting myself even more..

Cut her loose, block her if you need, so to give both yourself and her a new lease of life. There are many things other things in the world to pursue, and last but not least you still have a wife. Learn to love your wife again. Or just let your wife go too so she can find her own happiness.

I don't have a xiao san before. But I did cheated on my first girlfriend many times. I had a FB and I had a regular FL. And karma strike me back when my second girlfriend cheated on me repeatedly. My life turned upside down. She was the one whom I wanted to marry.

It was only then that I learned, what goes around comes around...