divorced women/widow will be alone - Page 14

Archerguard · #**196** 14-02-2015, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edyta

wow thanks for saying this. many ppl assume divorcee are some fat ugly old aunty. I recently joined a group for single parent n wow most r well maintained.

your words are kind. Assumption often leads to missed-opportunities. We hold no control over their thoughts. But we can definitely guard our own positive vibes.

so, are you well maintained yourself?

wecloud · #**197** 14-02-2015, 10:18 AM

I have an ex-colleague who was divorced, have a son, and she found another partner in life. It is not true that once divorced = game over.
It really depends on whether one is receptive to have another relationship.
In fact at a certain age, physical attractiveness is not the key anymore. Its more about communication, common interests etc..

Edyta · #**198** 15-02-2015, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archerguard

your words are kind. Assumption often leads to missed-opportunities. We hold no control over their thoughts. But we can definitely guard our own positive vibes.

so, are you well maintained yourself?

haha this is a difficult question. i can only say i exercise n do maintenance, as to how well i can only say i am happy n thankful with what i hv got. i prefer to the the cup half full then half empty.

Edyta · #**199** 15-02-2015, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wecloud

I have an ex-colleague who was divorced, have a son, and she found another partner in life. It is not true that once divorced = game over.
It really depends on whether one is receptive to have another relationship.
In fact at a certain age, physical attractiveness is not the key anymore. Its more about communication, common interests etc..

it has to do with your fate if I may use that word.

coolmon · #**200** 15-02-2015, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edyta

haha ET! well we are not rare just tht we seldom disclose to others on our personal life. business contacts, colleagues n clients assumed I am swinging single i just go along with it.

Haha. I was only referring to people around me. Counting in for both sides siblings, relatives, friends and colleagues etc, there are only 4 divorce cases out of few hundred pairs. (Yes, colleges, believe it or not, out of the 4, 2 are my colleagues, 1 never mention about it but we just know. Power of gossip.)

But of course, how many are like me, who knows. I only talk about it here, because I can stay anonymous.

coolmon · #**201** 15-02-2015, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmelater

How you live your life is up to what you believe in.

.....

A friend asked what you do if today is your last day? My reply was, everyday is a possible last day and i m living as if today is my last. Laugh a lot, talk a lot and savour this moment.

Thanks for the advise.

I think the dilemma is, current I am not myself. But if I'll to make a change, I'll hate myself. I would have chosen otherwise 10 years ago, when my children are still young and will not be too emotionally affected. But currently, this looks like the only option.

Event if today will the last day of my life, I think I'll still pretend that as if there were no problem from day 1. After all, I am leaving, why not let others continue to live in the paradox and have a good memory.

Archerguard · #**202** 17-02-2015, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edyta

haha this is a difficult question. i can only say i exercise n do maintenance, as to how well i can only say i am happy n thankful with what i hv got. i prefer to the the cup half full then half empty.

hee... preferring or viewing the cup half full or empty indirectly relates to a person's attitude. As long you have a good attitude towards what life has for you, everything will be fine. Again, whether the cup is half full or empty, it's about who is paying for the next round.

so, what have you got?

cmelater · #**203** 17-02-2015, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolmon

Thanks for the advise.

I think the dilemma is, current I am not myself. But if I'll to make a change, I'll hate myself. I would have chosen otherwise 10 years ago, when my children are still young and will not be too emotionally affected. But currently, this looks like the only option.

Event if today will the last day of my life, I think I'll still pretend that as if there were no problem from day 1. After all, I am leaving, why not let others continue to live in the paradox and have a good memory.

Bro, you are quite right. May be this pretension does help.

I left for overseas to unwind recently. I had many thoughts. One of which is that "what if there were kids?" and I did feel the same as you. Kids will surely be emotionally affected and then it will affect their later marriages. Its a scary thought.... What seems quite true is the extent to which children pick up their parents' character traits.

Good luck and all the best. Being a parent and a good one is never easy. As a friend was saying, there is no off-time from the day the kid is born.

peanutbutterjel · #**204** 18-02-2015, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edyta

haha ok i can organise if there are ppl who r keen

Great thread. Serious thread in the forum. Kind of curious What's the age group here in this thread ? 20-30/30-40/40-50?

And To participate in the discussion, I offer my humble opinion. I think divorced people are able to find love again. You just have to get yourself out there. If you're not meeting people, the chance of meeting your soul mate may have to be your cai-fan handler. Haha. But our responsibility to take care of our kid gives us no time to explore dating again. Just have to wait until the kid is older probably 18 den we can have our life back. No choice. Our responsibility.

peanutbutterjel · #**205** 18-02-2015, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edyta

wow thanks for saying this. many ppl assume divorcee are some fat ugly old aunty. I recently joined a group for single parent n wow most r well maintained.

Seems interesting. outing with or without kids ? Maybe I can join you ladies already.

peanutbutterjel · #**206** 18-02-2015, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolmon

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

Same here. really got one word for it. Or 2 words la. SIBEI SIAN. haha. actually if we just give selflessly and don't care about the selfish ways of our partner then no problem la.. But can we tolerate the lack of fulfillment of duty and reresponsibilities from our partner as spouse and as a parent to the kid. Divorcee also got 2 kinds. 1 is end up being divorcee because he or she is the bo chap one so kenna divorce. The other one is kenna bo chaped so divorce.

Rickey · #**207** 19-02-2015, 01:52 PM

Just read & learnt from the media tat Jamie Yeo, the ex-MediaCorp DJ wif one kid is going to divorce her 2nd husband, a britisher

...not really sure, wats their problem now...sigh...is she gonna re-marry again, one wonders ??...why are there still so many pple wanting to divorce one another

...can't we all, men & women learn to live tgt in love, peace, understanding & harmony with each other..

Ngengheng · #**208** 19-02-2015, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rickey

Just read & learnt from the media tat Jamie Yeo, the ex-MediaCorp DJ wif one kid is going to divorce her 2nd husband, a britisher

...not really sure, wats their problem now...sigh...is she gonna re-marry again, one wonders ??...why are there still so many pple wanting to divorce one another

...can't we all, men & women learn to live tgt in love, peace, understanding & harmony with each other..

Human never learn lessons because of lust and loneliness ...she can remarry 10th times and in the end still the same conclusion.

hugs · #**209** 19-02-2015, 08:17 PM

Just noticed this thread. Enlightening. Happy new year to TS and all.

Edyta · #**210** 20-02-2015, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peanutbutterjel

Great thread. Serious thread in the forum. Kind of curious What's the age group here in this thread ? 20-30/30-40/40-50?

And To participate in the discussion, I offer my humble opinion. I think divorced people are able to find love again. You just have to get yourself out there. If you're not meeting people, the chance of meeting your soul mate may have to be your cai-fan handler. Haha. But our responsibility to take care of our kid gives us no time to explore dating again. Just have to wait until the kid is older probably 18 den we can have our life back. No choice. Our responsibility.

i guess the 2nd chance club folks range from late 20s to 40s.

as for puting myself out there n hope is not something i would do. i meet enough people in the course of my work n i have propositions of all kinds that leads to sex which is not what i want. i dont wana rush into anything just to secure another mate its meaningless if there is no connection or emotional investment. I am prepared to be alone when I decided to leave my marriage. its just my personal circumstance n opinion, hope u r not offended.