divorced women/widow will be alone

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by cmelater

Hearsay from a friend.

Marriage is a mistake and getting remarried is not learning from the earlier mistake.

Loneliness is self perceived. End of the day, we will all go alone. So, what if married or single. Its all the same. We are all born and meant to die some day, except earlier or later.

Its the media which has made loneliness appear like some frightening spectre. But, is it frightening? I think the hearts of (some) women are lagi more frightening than loneliness.

I don't mind facing the 4 walls alone, so long as there is no crazy woman chasing me to wake up 6 am to bring kid to school, bring home sufficient dough, nagged at to get kid to finish homework, coerced into visiting the extended family over cny..... and etc etc. Its worse than NS. Pardon me, if it sounds not "right" to any of the bros here.

yes we all know we will leave alone. its the journey that counts. humans seek companionship thats v natural n it explains why some ppl would go for 2nd n 3rd marriages. it takes a strong will n a strong mind n enough distractions thru kids n career n hobbies to stay single aft divorce.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by kt88_2

Be happy good to be single or single parent.life the same, in fact more simpler in a way.

life is indeed more peaceful thats real n i really treasure it

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

I know a few of Caucasian man they don't mind having divorcee. Some are very rich too, the fate of the woman really changed.

One of my Caucasian friend, he is holding management post. Used to be super playboy till he was late 30s meet his current wife. He got married when he was ard mid 40s his wife got a 20 year old son. He turn to become super homely and yes man to his wife totally diff person.

Rare to have Asian guys accepting divorcee but quite common for Asian guy who is a divorcee to re-married,

thats true saw this trend. think its mindset n culture. sg is still an ultra conservative place. go to any wet market u can gear those aunties gossips its no diff fr my grandma thinking. divorced women r viewed v negatively.

but well i made tht choice n i believe its for the good.i walk the path i choose. no alimony no nothing I am ok. i am at peace when I sleep. no more relationships again is also what I must accept. acceptance comes contentment then peace.

[ilwtmlabnn]

Originally Posted by Edyta

Once a woman with kids is divorced or widowed. She probably has to resign to a fate of being alone whole life. Regardless of how good looking she is, there is no difference. Good looks just attract men who are interested in FB n ONS with her thats all. Its close to zero chance a man would want to assume the responsibility of a step father. And the path to get the kids to accept him as father will be full of obstacles. And his family? Will they accept a divorcee with kids as part of their family?
Of course in life there are always a few lucky ones who can find love again. Majority don't. You won't know how many of such women around as most are silent and go about raising their kids and accepting their fate.

Whether a divorcee remains single for rest of his/her life, it very much depends.

For those in the younger age range like 20s to 30s with toddler, it maybe be quite hard to find someone else to be with. Marriage at that age is not just about the guy and girl, I feel that parents do have much influence as well in accepting their son's/daughter's other half. The fact that with a child, the other party must be prepared and be able to accept the fact that he/she is starting a married life with not just a partner, but also a child whom he/she must take responsibility for too. there will be a sudden transition from being single to not just a husband/wife, but also to a stepfather/mother and this is a huge step which not everyone can take as it concerns diffferent aspects ranging from financial stability to having to live with gossips or comments.

As for those in the older age range whereby the child/children have grown up, it may be easier for them to find a companion since caring for the child/children isnt much of an issue and probably when one is in 30+ or 40s, they do have more power over what they want to pursue in life and face less parental control. It is also common for divorcee to relate better to each other as well probably they have been through similar experiences.

Of course, like you mentioned, there are those who are lucky to find love again and there are such cases around although it's not the majority. It takes a big heart for one to accept the past of his/her other half. Yes, good looks do appeal to not just men, but to women as well. However, it's just a bonus, not a must and definitely not everything. Im sure there are still some who look for partners who are just pleasant looking and of good character. There is still hope and all is not lost I guess.

[Archerguard]

i have read this thread from the beginning and i really like this thread.

i have met mature women be it whether they are divorcee or on the verge of a divorce. I swear they can be the most amazing women on earth. I am also into deep shit after knowing them as well.

the reason is because after knowing them, I simply don't give a shit to any woman who thinks the world owes her a living regardless of how gifted she looks on the outside.

three cheers to 2nd chance club!

[crood]

Originally Posted by Archerguard

i have read this thread from the beginning and i really like this thread.

i have met mature women be it whether they are divorcee or on the verge of a divorce. I swear they can be the most amazing women on earth. I am also into deep shit after knowing them as well.

the reason is because after knowing them, I simply don't give a shit to any woman who thinks the world owes her a living regardless of how gifted she looks on the outside.

three cheers to 2nd chance club!

How good are they? Any to intro me?

[Archerguard]

Originally Posted by crood

How good are they? Any to intro me?

they are generally independent in terms of their financial abilities and they turned down guys who pursued them gently. There are some high profile guys who tried to flaunt their wealth while some tried to date them to overseas but none works on them. So I could not intro to you since they are not emotionally and physically available.

one of them is exactly same as Edyta. She did not ask for even a single cent from the alimony. She just hopes that the husband be able to grow more maturely to look after himself well.

one of them fulfilled the wish of her husband to be with another woman. The husband got so guilty eventually and gave his wife whatever he could before leaving the family.

i guess the above two are just some examples. As for others who are still married, they are trying to pretend knowing nuts about their husband munching out there. Let's hope their tolerance level could be kept in control before it goes into negative.


hey dude, if you happen to read this thread, this posting, and you happen to be seating on a very high chair in one of the bank over here who happen to try to date a woman recently... then let me tell you that you had failed miserably in your approach using unethical means trying to date my friend. You know who you are. The feeling of rejection sucks right?

[coolmon]

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by coolmon

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

How you live your life is up to what you believe in.

Social pressure and peer pressure are bs to me. What we see to today is a world.... made believe. Do we all believe in what the world represents? There is no real purpose in many things. Even the chinese belief of continuing the family name is a made to believe one.

Humanity is like a pothole in the middle of nowhere. If you can fit some other philosophy into it, it would easily become mainstream culture and custom. Basically, anythg else can be the new "social pressure".

My point then is, isnt is painful to live life walking on a pair of heels which were never meant for you? And then, isnt it worse if you have to walk these heels for the rest of your life? Live life as you and not someone or something because of social pressure. You dont have many years to be someone or something else which you are not. Life isnt a long time to spend ignoring what you want and yearn to be.

A friend asked what you do if today is your last day? My reply was, everyday is a possible last day and i m living as if today is my last. Laugh a lot, talk a lot and savour this moment.

[MoJoe313]

There are a few divorced ladies and divorced men in this 2nd Chance thread. Why don't you folks ask each other out?

Not romantically lah. Socialize, share, emotional support, rant, that sort of things....

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by Archerguard

i have read this thread from the beginning and i really like this thread.

i have met mature women be it whether they are divorcee or on the verge of a divorce. I swear they can be the most amazing women on earth. I am also into deep shit after knowing them as well.

the reason is because after knowing them, I simply don't give a shit to any woman who thinks the world owes her a living regardless of how gifted she looks on the outside.

three cheers to 2nd chance club!

wow thanks for saying this. many ppl assume divorcee are some fat ugly old aunty. I recently joined a group for single parent n wow most r well maintained.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by coolmon

Read this thread from the beginning

Like to thanks TS and many other Sis and Bro make this thread so inspiring.

I came from a background where Divorcees are as rear as E.T. This, no doubt an eye opener.

By the way, I am holding on to my marriage because of children and social pressure, but deep in my heart, I am divorcee. Can I joint the 2nd Chance Club?

haha ET! well we are not rare just tht we seldom disclose to others on our personal life. business contacts, colleagues n clients assumed I am swinging single i just go along with it.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by cmelater

How you live your life is up to what you believe in.

Social pressure and peer pressure are bs to me. What we see to today is a world.... made believe. Do we all believe in what the world represents? There is no real purpose in many things. Even the chinese belief of continuing the family name is a made to believe one.

Humanity is like a pothole in the middle of nowhere. If you can fit some other philosophy into it, it would easily become mainstream culture and custom. Basically, anythg else can be the new "social pressure".

My point then is, isnt is painful to live life walking on a pair of heels which were never meant for you? And then, isnt it worse if you have to walk these heels for the rest of your life? Live life as you and not someone or something because of social pressure. You dont have many years to be someone or something else which you are not. Life isnt a long time to spend ignoring what you want and yearn to be.

A friend asked what you do if today is your last day? My reply was, everyday is a possible last day and i m living as if today is my last. Laugh a lot, talk a lot and savour this moment.

it takes alot of courage to say quit a marriage esp kids are involved.besides emotional there is also the practical side of keeping your wealth. it also has to be in a situation where its amicable no fighting in court for money or kids. last but not least the one who has the kids must have resources n means to bring them up well. that means stable n gd job n family support. its a big step to the unknown. but we adapt. i learn how to chg light bulbs, assemble simple furnitures etc
too many ppl don leave the comfort zone.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by MoJoe313

There are a few divorced ladies and divorced men in this 2nd Chance thread. Why don't you folks ask each other out?

Not romantically lah. Socialize, share, emotional support, rant, that sort of things....

haha ok i can organise if there are ppl who r keen

[Archerguard]

Originally Posted by MoJoe313

There are a few divorced ladies and divorced men in this 2nd Chance thread. Why don't you folks ask each other out?

Not romantically lah. Socialize, share, emotional support, rant, that sort of things....

what a brilliant idea.