Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[zichuan]

Originally Posted by haojian

Thank you for all the advice. I paid S$7k to the marriage agency.

we are expecting our son this february. my wife wants to work after she gets her pr. hopefully by january. I am asking her to take care of our son for 3 years, until he goes to school.

she's the eldest of 2 daugthers at home. her younger sister is mentally challenged, so its up to her to help support her parents.

we'll be using $1k of the baby bonus to buy a cow for her parents to rear in vn. my wife says it costs $10k to buy a farm land. so we save $3k from the baby bonus and save up to buy a land in a few years time. I am telling her that her parents have to send half of the profits back to sg every year.

then maybe we buy a bigger land a few more years down the road. that is if my name is included as farm land owner. that's the plan anyway, hopefully that can become an income stream for my family in sg.

bro, dont mind me asking, how old are you ?

"my wife wants to work after she gets her pr. hopefully by january." <- ermm.. bro dont be too confident on this, might not be easy as you assumed. further details i would not want to elaborate much. ^^ if not you would experience it yourself.

fyi, there is restrictions to foreigners on investing/buying properties in vietnam. actually your posting here, the replies you get will not be sufficient to your understanding. try sourcing out information yourself, you will know the hardwork behind it, instead of getting answers from us. try calling/email up mofa over at hcm,vn to inquire. they are very friendly de. btw, the internet is very useful to search for information lor. if really so limited, you can get alot of government official dept contact no. over at vn. you just need to call and ask.

just my 2 cents worth

[zichuan]

Originally Posted by JaViEr84

do Vietnamese need to apply visas to travel to hong kong for holiday?
Is it very difficult unless she is your wife , cos heard from some friends it can be quite difficult...

call vietnam embassy in singapore to inquiry.

[zichuan]

Originally Posted by haojian

Thank you for all the advice. I paid S$7k to the marriage agency.

we are expecting our son this february. my wife wants to work after she gets her pr. hopefully by january. I am asking her to take care of our son for 3 years, until he goes to school.

she's the eldest of 2 daugthers at home. her younger sister is mentally challenged, so its up to her to help support her parents.

we'll be using $1k of the baby bonus to buy a cow for her parents to rear in vn. my wife says it costs $10k to buy a farm land. so we save $3k from the baby bonus and save up to buy a land in a few years time. I am telling her that her parents have to send half of the profits back to sg every year.

then maybe we buy a bigger land a few more years down the road. that is if my name is included as farm land owner. that's the plan anyway, hopefully that can become an income stream for my family in sg.

try to sponsor your wife to go for English courses, if can go for a diploma/govt ite certifications. it would help for her future employments if she intends to work in sg. but importantly is English' which is first language in sg to get around in working society. since your child is on the way, probably you could hold back till your son is about 1yr+ ? whereby your wife can no need to look after your son, and she can go for your studies/upgrading.

just my suggestions. up to you. haha. good luck plan everything progressively, take a step at a time.

[Scleropages]

Originally Posted by haojian

Thank you for all the advice. I paid S$7k to the marriage agency.

we are expecting our son this february. my wife wants to work after she gets her pr. hopefully by january. I am asking her to take care of our son for 3 years, until he goes to school.

she's the eldest of 2 daugthers at home. her younger sister is mentally challenged, so its up to her to help support her parents.

we'll be using $1k of the baby bonus to buy a cow for her parents to rear in vn. my wife says it costs $10k to buy a farm land. so we save $3k from the baby bonus and save up to buy a land in a few years time. I am telling her that her parents have to send half of the profits back to sg every year.

then maybe we buy a bigger land a few more years down the road. that is if my name is included as farm land owner. that's the plan anyway, hopefully that can become an income stream for my family in sg.

If you are thinking of getting money back, forget it. Unless you have mother is SG to take care of kid, I doubt your wife can work. It's a slow process, but best is to slowly ingrain in her mind that once she is married, she has to worry about her own family first, and that is in SG, not VN. It helps when she has a Singapore child. So, better forget about VN. Can't save everyone.

Like our Sillypore govt., I am inclined to believe that nothing is free. And one has to work for everything. One suggestion you may wish to consider is getting your mother-in-law to come to SG to look after your child, and give her some "maid" pay. Then, her family will know that you are no ATM.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by haojian

we'll be using $1k of the baby bonus to buy a cow for her parents to rear in vn. my wife says it costs $10k to buy a farm land. so we save $3k from the baby bonus and save up to buy a land in a few years time. I am telling her that her parents have to send half of the profits back to sg every year.

then maybe we buy a bigger land a few more years down the road. that is if my name is included as farm land owner. that's the plan anyway, hopefully that can become an income stream for my family in sg.

bro, hahhahahha. I think you are playing FARMVILLE on Facebook huh? Buying a cow doesn't ensure that there will be a steady stream of income. Sometimes, they will even make losses rearing animals, its seriously not 100%. Have you been to her province? I am sure you have not. And even if they make some money, they will not tell you, let alone sharing with you. Get to know more about vietnam and their culture before you make any decision. That's why i say, change your name to ROBERTO, u really sound like one and also ONE BIG ONE...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Buying a cow doesn't ensure that there will be a steady stream of income. Sometimes, they will even make losses rearing animals, its seriously not 100%.

The mother in-law will spent all the money without buying the cow...buying anything is just an excuse to get money...this may be the truth...think he dun understand vn culture yet...

if need baby bonus from sin to buy anything then person is indeed not well off...too much if wife wants to buy all this things for her family when can't afford...

Hope he understand that he has to make sure he can take care of the wife and baby in order for the family to be together otherwise the wife may stray...

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

The mother in-law will spent all the money without buying the cow...buying anything is just an excuse to get money...this may be the truth...think he dun understand vn culture yet...

if need baby bonus from sin to buy anything then person is indeed not well off...too much if wife wants to buy all this things for her family when can't afford...

Hope he understand that he has to make sure he can take care of the wife and baby in order for the family to be together otherwise the wife may stray...

hahaah bro. you too straight foraward la.... hahhaha u are RIGHT!!! money will not be channelled to buy cow. If next time he goes back to province, they will say cow DIE roi....

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by SingViet

hahaah bro. you too straight foraward la.... hahhaha u are RIGHT!!! money will not be channelled to buy cow. If next time he goes back to province, they will say cow DIE roi....

Better be straight forward...this is the reality truth...when I understand more of Vn culture...

Some typical example:

1) Buy brand new latest handphone - after purchase sold for half price within a few days
2) Buy motorbike - sold after just a few days for 50% discount.
3) Father or mother sick but actually just minor flu...ask for 1K to 3K say hospitalised.
4) Land cost only $x and self inflated ask for $x + $y...then sold for only $x - $z...
5) Brother marry ask for $$$...

never ending stories...sob sob stories...

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Better be straight forward...this is the reality truth...when I understand more of Vn culture...

The worst I encountered yrs n yrs ago when I first time in HCMC. The so called auntie said, "your ba xa's uncle wants to drink beer n eat titbit, pass me some money." I was like he wants to drink, also my problem??? In the end I gave her some money. End of the night when I wanted to go home, the same auntie told me, "he will send u home in his motor, pass him 100k later." I was like ccb These ppl just wanted to carrot ppl.

[haha_123]

Originally Posted by SingViet

hahaah bro. you too straight foraward la.... hahhaha u are RIGHT!!! money will not be channelled to buy cow. If next time he goes back to province, they will say cow DIE roi....

Do you know why the cow died? They will say that it is because the son-in-law did not give them enough money to feed the cow.

[CuteBuns]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Better be straight forward...this is the reality truth...when I understand more of Vn culture...

Some typical example:

1) Buy brand new latest handphone - after purchase sold for half price within a few days
2) Buy motorbike - sold after just a few days for 50% discount.
3) Father or mother sick but actually just minor flu...ask for 1K to 3K say hospitalised.
4) Land cost only $x and self inflated ask for $x + $y...then sold for only $x - $z...
5) Brother marry ask for $$$...

never ending stories.......

hahahwabahahwa, luv the examples given!!

another variation of eg (1) is lost handphone, get u to buy new one for her, which she really does use but old phone not actually lost but sold yesterday only

on the other hand, met a new case very funny. My friend has been trying to up this viet gal in J51/M51 for long time. When he finally popped the question, she say "...give me car and house I also don't go hotel"!!! Thats a new classic statement

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by CuteBuns

on the other hand, met a new case very funny. My friend has been trying to up this viet gal in J51/M51 for long time. When he finally popped the question, she say "...give me car and house I also don't go hotel"!!! Thats a new classic statement

Yes, her pussy made of gold.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by haojian

please advice. thanks

Should be "Please ADVISE.".

"Advice" is a noun.

[zichuan]

Vietnam orders gold-trading floors shut by end-March -  Latest news around the world and developments close to home - MSN Singapore News

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by haojian

Thank you for all the advice. I paid S$7k to the marriage agency.

we are expecting our son this february. my wife wants to work after she gets her pr. hopefully by january. I am asking her to take care of our son for 3 years, until he goes to school.

she's the eldest of 2 daugthers at home. her younger sister is mentally challenged, so its up to her to help support her parents.

Hi bro, I guess you would have read the numerous replies by bros in here, by now.

There are various issues that you need to tackle now. Since you got to know your wife from an agency, it also means that you do not know her well.. Its not to say that she is definitely bad or definitely out to cheat you. Many bros in here meant well when they post their comments. You may start to get defensive and think ppl are against you but do not think in this way... they are just telling you some cold hard facts that you might or might not encounter in the coming months with your wife together....

You have to keep in mind that yours is a marriage of convenience....you to get a family-oriented wife or whatever reason you may have and she to get out of poverty...... So in the very beginning, both yours and your wife's mindset are very skewed and thus will definitely have very different expectations of each other. This will be the FIRST obstacle that you will have to contend with....that is...BRIDGING THE GAP IN EXPECTATIONS.

If not handled properly, it will lead to many many other issues....
I will have to write an essay if I were to tell you the many issues in a marriage with vn gals but at the end of the day, the most important thing now you must do is to make your wife realise that you and her and your baby is going to be the main priority now.

Unless you can well afford to - which i doubt you can, not because I look down on you but by the way you thought of using the baby bonus - provide for your family in singapore first. You can start by sending back $200-$500 depending on how comfortable you are, It is definitely sufficient to feed her family back home, since you said they live in the provinces.

Other issues like buy cow, buy house, buy land...you can leave till later...You have to be careful how you put it across to your wife....beware of cultural differences when communicating....you can read my thread for some examples....

Good Luck!